Note: Thanks for the helpful reviews. Towards the end of this chapter I take some liberties in my description of access to Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) records. I'm sure that the actual department does not have this type of information readily accessible.

Kathryn spent the next three days dodging Danny's calls. She left him a message on his office phone asking him to give her a few days to think. She needed distance. Kathryn knew if she talked to him or saw him, she would forget about the things that bothered her and fall back in to his arms. She wasn't sure she could be with someone who seemed intent on hiding things. She hated that it was so easy for Danny to shut down. Danny didn't even want to fight about things. Whenever they would disagree about something or she would get frustrated with him, Danny would just get quiet and leave. The problem with that is Kathryn knows what a passionate person Danny is. She saw him fight back on the witness stand during the Sanders case. He couldn't back down if he tried. He had a reputation for being an intense interrogator, but when it came to talking about his personal life he seemed incapable of that same passionate communication. While Kathryn was deeply in love with Danny, she did not understand him at all. And she wasn't sure she could continue her relationship with him under those circumstances.

All of Kathryn's reservations about Danny started to slip away when she saw him sitting on the steps of her brownstone with a bunch of tulips in hand. Sometimes he could look like such a little boy especially while wearing faded jeans and a t-shirt. He looked amazing. As she approached, Danny stood up. "I thought I made it pretty clear that I needed some time," Kathryn started.

"You did. You made it very clear, but it's been three days. You know me…patience isn't one of my strong points," Danny said as he smiled and held out the flowers.

Kathryn took them and looked down. She studied them--afraid to look into Danny's eyes for fear that she would get lost in them once again. "Their beautiful, my favorite. How did you know?"

"We were at that art fair a couple of months ago. You fell of in love with that picture with this flower. I figured they must be your favorite."

"You're good," Kathryn whispered while still averting his eyes.

"Strong observation skills…it's part of the job," Danny replied as he slowly tilted her chin up to look at her.

Kathryn finally met his gaze, and then backed away slightly, "Danny…I'm not ready…"

"We have to talk, because, honestly, I don't understand what I did. Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it."

"It's complicated."

Danny nodded as he pulled out some brochures from his pocket. "Is it about the vacation? Because, I called a travel agent. She worked up three different trips for us. All we have to do is pick one," he said as he handed her the brochures.

Kathryn looked at the brochures, and then back up at Danny, "This was very nice of you, but we still need to talk about some things."

"Let's talk. I'm ready," Danny stated as he took her hand and started to lead her up the stairs.

"Wait…Danny…not here. Let's go somewhere. I can't…I know what will happen if we go upstairs."

"Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen," Danny said as he gave her a charming smile and lightly touched her face.

"You're right. I've missed you…but there are some things we have clear up before we can just fall back into….each other. You can't fix this with sex," Kathryn said desperately.

"Fine. Let's go somewhere and talk."

They ended up at a coffee shop a couple of blocks from her apartment. While Kathryn wanted to sit at a booth where they would sit across from each other, Danny guided her to a curved booth where they sat right next to each other. She put a safe amount of distance between them. They both ordered coffee, and then Danny looked at her expectantly. "So what do you want to talk about?"

This was much harder for Kathryn than she thought. All the reasons for staying away from him just an hour earlier were slipping out of her mind, but she started, "I just feel like you aren't really committed to us."

"I don't understand how you can say that."

"Commitment is not just about monogamy, Danny."

"I know that. Why do you think I don't know that? Do really think that I just want to be with you for sex? It's so much more that that. I…I love you." Danny explained.

Kathryn's heart leapt. It was the first time he said it. "Then why don't you let me in? Why do I feel like I still don't know you at all? I just don't understand…." Kathryn wanted to ask Danny about his co-workers, and if they knew about them, but she was afraid – afraid of the answer.

Danny put her hand on her cheek so that she couldn't turn away. "Baby, you know me. I have let you in. I care about you so much, and I love spending time with you. The last three days have proved to me how much I need you in my life. I miss you, baby," he whispered seductively.

Kathryn leaned in to his touch and closed her eyes. She loved hearing him call her "baby". He always called her that in bed, and whenever he wanted something from her. When she opened her eyes, Danny's lips brushed against hers. Kathryn responded by inching her body closer to his. As they continued to kiss, Danny pulled her even closer. This is exactly what Kathryn didn't want to happen, but she had no control when it came to Danny. His hands were roaming up her blouse. She didn't even care that they were in a public place. Finally, Danny broke from their passionate kiss.

"Come with me," Danny whispered in her ear. He put a few dollars on the table as he took her hand.

At first, Kathryn thought he was taking her home. But instead, he led her to the back of the restaurant to the bathrooms. He opened the door to the women's restroom, pulled her inside, and locked the door. "I don't know about this," Kathryn said as Danny pushed her against the door, and started to kiss her neck.

"Do you want me to stop?" Danny asked.

Kathryn looked in his eyes. She missed him so much. She finally shook her head, and he started to push up her skirt.

"Trust me."

And she did. She knew what seeing Danny again would lead to. As she was with him, in her mind, she decided she wouldn't let it bother her anymore. She would take the relationship at Danny's pace. It was worth it to feel the way he made her feel. She would stop pressuring him, and just accept him the way he is. He's always treated her well, and they don't fight. Kathryn told herself that people have problems in relationships all the time. They look the other way if they love someone, and that's exactly what she would do with Danny.

They settled back in to their routine, and even took a short vacation to Jamaica. They had an amazing time, and Kathryn found herself happier than she had ever been in her life. Danny even took the time to come to her family's house for dinner. He met her parents, sister and brother. Danny charmed them all. Ultimately, Kathryn was happy that she let things go, but in the back of her mind she feared that someday Danny's secrets would hurt her.

That day came after they had been together for a little over six months. Danny was practically living in her apartment, but he still hesitated giving up his studio. He joked that he was keeping it to store his clothes because there wasn't an apartment big enough in Manhattan to store both of their extensive wardrobes.

Early one winter morning, Kathryn was wrapped closely in his arms. Even though the heat was on, the apartment never seemed to get warm. On mornings like these, Danny liked to wake her gently before the alarm went off to make love. The night before he barely had enough energy to undress because he worked 72 hours straight on a case. He basically just collapsed next to her, but he missed her and she missed him so he started to feather light kisses on her shoulder as he molded himself to the back of her body. Kathryn responded by reaching back and stroking his stubbled cheek and messy hair. They didn't need to exchange any words. They just knew what the other needed.

Then, suddenly, Kathryn was startled by the high-pitched ring of Danny's cell phone. She laughed lightly as Danny groaned, "Unbelievable." He reached over and grabbed his cell phone from the night-stand without completely moving away from her. "Taylor," he sleepily answered.

Kathryn couldn't hear the person on the other end, but whoever it was made Danny very tense. He sat up quickly, and started to walk out of the room, but Kathryn could hear him respond:

"It's OK. It's OK. I understand. I'll take care of it."

And then:

"I'll call you later to set up a time. I don't know what my schedule will be today."

Finally, Danny ended the call by saying something in Spanish in a soothing, consoling voice. Kathryn thought this was very strange if it was about work. Danny finally came back to the room and said, "God, it's freezing in here," as he pulled on his track pants.

"Was that work?" Kathryn asked as she sat up still a bit disoriented.

"Yeah…just something Jack wants me to follow up on before I get to work this morning."

"You sounded worried on the phone. Is everything OK?" Kathryn asked skeptically.

"I wasn't worried. Everything is fine. It's no big deal," Danny replied as he sat back on the bed and started to kiss her.

Kathryn didn't ask about what he said in Spanish. She knew that he wasn't telling the truth, though. She started to feel very frustrated so she pushed him away as he was starting to lower her back to her pillow. "You know what, I should get ready for work. I have a lot going on today. It sounds like you do, too."

Danny looked at her with concern and whispered, "It's still early, baby."

"I know, but I should get an early start. OK?"

"OK," Danny responded as he pulled away and got up hesitantly.

They both got ready for work and went their separate ways after a quick goodbye. They both left knowing they were leaving things unsaid.

Kathryn couldn't get the phone call out of her head all day. She knew she should have confronted Danny right away. She had to start being honest with him. And she had to force him to be honest with her. She felt like they had come so far yet they still had so far to go.

Danny left a message for her on her voicemail saying he had something to take care of after work so he would call her later that night. Instead of waiting for his call, Kathryn decided to go to his apartment. She just had a feeling he was there. So, after work, she took a cab to his building. As she got out of the cab she looked across the street to the front entrance to his building. Danny was standing outside talking to an attractive woman with a little boy. At first, Kathryn felt a pang of jealousy because he seemed so concerned about the woman. Then a wave a nausea overcame Kathryn as she focused on the little boy. He had Danny's eyes. The little boy looked up at Danny like a son would to a father with an adoring expression. Kathryn stood back and watched the scene unfold as tears fell down her face. Danny gave the women an envelope, and then the woman wrapped her arms around Danny. They embraced for a few moments. Then Danny squatted down and talked to the little boy who seemed more than excited to see him. Kathryn was stunned by the resemblance. She could only deduce that this was Danny's child, and that would mean the woman was an ex-lover, or maybe he was still with her? Kathryn wanted to be sick. She quickly started to walk away not wanting to look anymore. She was devastated.

Later that night, Danny did call, but she didn't answer. Finally, he just came over. He used his key to come in. "Hey, babe, where have you been? I called. I thought we could meet at that sushi place. Have you eaten? I'm starving," Danny kept talking as he walked into the kitchen. Kathryn was standing at the counter making tea. Danny walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

When he touched her, Kathryn didn't want him let go. She wanted to forget about the woman and little boy. Danny started to kiss her neck. "Did you have a good day today?"

"It was OK." Kathryn replied quietly.

Danny slowly started to unzip the back of her dress while still kissing her. "You know we didn't get to finish what we started this morning," Danny said as he snaked his hands around her body under her dress and pulled her closer.

As he started to unhook her bra, Kathryn realized that she had to end this. She couldn't let him distract her again. So she turned around quickly in his arms, and pushed him away. "Stop….I can't do this anymore," she exclaimed as she walk away from him.

Danny followed her into the bedroom. "Hey," he said noticing she had been crying, "What is it?" Danny asked as turned her around to face him. When he started to wipe a tear away, she quickly pushed his hand away.

"Don't touch me," Kathryn said wearily as she grabbed her robe off the bed. She quickly removed the unzipped dress and put on her robe.

Danny watched her with a confused look, "OK, you are going to have to fill in the blanks here. What did I do now?"

Kathryn started by asking him, "Have you told the people you work with about us?"

Danny was caught off guard by the strange question, "What?"

"A couple of months ago, when I deposed Vivian, it was obvious that she didn't know about us. I thought that was strange, but I figured in time that you would tell them. But you haven't, have you?"

"What difference does it…"

"Just answer the question, Danny. Just, for once, tell me the truth and don't try to talk your way out of it."

"Talk my way out of it? I don't understand what brought this on, but I'll tell you – No, I haven't said anything. I'm sure they assume that I've been seeing someone, but I haven't come out and told them it is you. It's private. I don't like to bringing my personal life in to work."

Kathryn nodded and asked, "Why? What's the big deal about telling the people you spend all your time with that you have a girlfriend? Why wouldn't you want them to know that you are happy with someone?"

"It's none of their business."

"Is it because they know about your son?"

Danny laughed, "What? My son? I don't have…"

"I saw you," Kathryn yelled. "I saw you with that woman and little boy today. I knew that you were hiding something this morning, so I went to your apartment after work. And I saw you. He looks just like you, Danny," Kathryn said as she started to weep again. "And she…she obviously loves you very much. Is that why you don't want anyone to know about me? Because you already have a family?"

"Kathryn, you have it all wrong. He's not my son. She's not…she's not my lover or wife or mother of my child. That's crazy. How could you even think that?"

Kathryn was completely exasperated. "Well then, who are they? Why can't you be honest with me?"

"I am honest with you. This is nothing. It's not important. It doesn't involve you."

"How can you say that? After all we've shared? You know everything there is to know about me. I've told you everything. Why are you keeping secrets?"

Danny was getting frustrated now, "They aren't secrets. It's a part of my past. A past that doesn't even exist for me anymore. Why can't I just start over?"

"That's not the way relationships work, Danny. Especially when your 'past' calls you at 5 in the morning. And you meet your 'past' at your apartment."

Danny was angry now, but he didn't want to take it out on Kathryn. He was angry that he had to explain himself. "You really want to know?"

"Yes," Kathryn said quietly seeing the anger in Danny's eyes.

"I have a brother. That was his fiancé and kid today. He got out of prison six months ago. I spoke at his parole hearing because I thought he wanted a fresh start with his new family. I decided to trust him again after all these years. And now, he's left them. He took all the money and split. He's probably off somewhere getting high. So today I met them and gave them some money to help them out."

"You have a brother? Why didn't you…"

"I didn't tell you because he's not a part of my life anymore. I took all the memories…all the pain…and threw it away. When I'm with you, I don't want to think about that stuff anymore. There are things that I did in my past…things that you don't want to know. If you knew them, you wouldn't want….But you couldn't let it go."

Kathryn sat down on the sofa not sure if she was relieved or angrier than she was before. "I couldn't let it go? What's is wrong with you, Danny? When you are in a relationship, you don't hide things. You don't lie about early morning phone calls. I need to be in an honest, open relationship."

"If keeping what we have means digging all that up again, then I am not sure…" Danny started to say.

"You want to throw the last six months away because you are afraid of what I'll think? You can't tell me anything that will change the way I feel about you."

"Don't be too sure about that," Danny responded quietly. "Maybe you were right…a couple of months ago…when you said we needed distance."

"Danny…don't…" Kathryn started to move toward him but he backed away.

"I'm sorry that I lied to you. I'll…um…I'll come back sometime while you're at work to get my things. I'll leave the key."

Kathryn sat on the edge of the bed slightly stunned. She didn't know what to say. She was ready to leave him tonight if he wasn't honest with her, but she wasn't ready for him to leave her. She just watched as Danny turned and walked out the door.

The next day Kathryn called in sick to work. Her heart was broken. She just laid on her bed clutching Danny's pillow while wrapped in one of his dress shirts. She was mentally questioning the way she handled things with him. Why did she need to know everything? Maybe it was too painful for him to talk about it. She shouldn't try to force him. But Kathryn knew she couldn't live like that. She couldn't live with someone who kept secrets.

Six months ago, she thought she was happy with her life. Before Danny, everything was so simple. She worked. She went out with friends and dated occasionally. And then in the one moment when she watched him talk to Jimmy Wilkens, she felt something. She never expected to fall in love with Danny Taylor and certainly not so fast. But just as fast as it happened, now she was alone and literally aching for him. And she still was overcome with a need to find out more about him.

In an effort to just get out of bed, Kathryn decided to get on her computer and to see if she could fill in the holes of Danny's life. Maybe that would give her some sort of closure. So, she logged in and accessed the databases through her work network. Most of Danny's personnel records were classified by the FBI so she couldn't read them. So she traveled back further. She knew he spent time in the foster care system. So she started to search the DCFS databases. She had special security for the databases because she handled several cases for DCFS children at the DA's office.

She knew it was wrong. She knew he would never forgive her for invading his privacy, but she had to know. At first, she couldn't find any records for a "Danny Taylor" that fit Danny's description. Then she noticed a name change file for a Danny Taylor. She opened the file. Daniel Michael Alvarez changed is name to Daniel Taylor in 1991. Danny would have been 17. On the name change file, she found a social security number and a copy of Danny's driver's license. This was definitely her Danny. She knew that the social security number was the key to unlocking his past. She took the number and entered into the DCFS database. She knew there was no going back…that after this – she would know most of what he has tried so hard to bury.