Open Your Eyes: Rebirth
Illyria watched her true self stare back at her, the both of them tilting in the same curious fashion, but the only difference was that she was flesh and bone and the other just an illusion. Easily she could pass her hand through her projection, but it wasn't about physical contact, instead everything was base on a different level – and emotional and mental one.
"Why do you wish to throw away everything? The chance to rule the world, pulverizing the humans right into the ground where they belong!" True anger could be seen in the old Illyria's eyes. She did not understand why in the world she would give up such power for a mere human.
"Things have change; this world is no longer as easily conquerable as before. Your heart is as hard as stone and your mind completely shut off to any kind of human emotion! I have live on this earthly plane for months and have come to appreciate the human warmth that one can offer another through a simple touch, look or kind word. It is not I who is loosing, it is you!"
With those last words Illyria could see the pure disgust etched on her former face. Many months ago she would of given anything to be once more like that, but now the mere thought made her want to cry out. She could never go back to her old way of thinking, far too much had happened and she had experienced far too many human emotions.
The earth was no longer as simple as before. She had thought herself immune to human compassion but now she found herself fighting for the chance to fully experience it. Illyria wanted another chance, another life to do things right. Make Wesley proud of the mortal she was and of the love she could give him.
As if being able to read her thoughts the image in front of her disappeared and only a bright light was left in its place. Automatically Illyria moved towards it, as if silently being told to. The closer she came to it, the warmer her skin felt, the heavier her chest also felt. Inside one could feel it, growing and spreading through her like liquid warmth – a soul of her very own, the key to Wesley's love and acceptance.
Wesley's jeep came to a stop in front of a large wooden house. Making his way inside he noticed that there was a terrace, stepping out upon it he could see the impressive view of the entire woods. Alone and secluded from any real human contact, he could feel himself finally starting to relax. Here he could finally heal and climb out of his depression.
Once inside he could see that his things had made it up here before him. Opening one of the many boxes he began to place books upon the dinning room table. First he would unpack them and then sort them out alphabetically and by subject. Over two hundred books were in his possessions and those where the ones that weren't in storage. All of them necessary for research, although he didn't really see himself doing much research now. Instead he would sleep, laugh, cry and allow himself to do all of the things in which he had denied himself the past five years.
Fighting evil every single day for almost the entire length of his life he felt like the world's oldest thirty three year old. In the end he had felt like an android, completely void of any human emotion. The cause for such behavior partly his fault, partly fate's fault and all the hard blows it had delivered into his life, also partly Illyria's fault. Her lack of any emotion or compassion having rubbed off on him since he did spent most of his time dealing with her. Their time together completely made up of him drinking himself into unconsciousness and explaining to her the origins of everything.
The warmth was no longer within her, instead it was replaced by a numbing coldness. She could feel her skin shivering, actual goose bumps on her skin...so much to be explained and her dear Wesley nowhere in sight.
Getting up from the dusty ground Illyria could see the African demon standing by the large fire, his back completely turn to her. She was stark naked but there was nothing she could do about the fact, looking around she wished for something to cover herself with. Nearing the demon she could now feel the warmth of the fire warming her sensitive skin.
Unlike before her skin was now sensitive like any other human's. Blood flowed through her veins, her heart beated and she no longer possessed her supernatural strength.
"You are mortal now, but do be warn that this new body requires great care. As for strength, you are extremely weak and must rebuild yourself from the I inside out."
"The inside as well? Does the human body not develop on its own? I was lead to understand that..." Illyria's questions were cut short by the demon's finger on her warm lips.
"The inside" he repeated once more, but this time taking the same finger and pointing at her head.
A new kind of understanding dawned upon her as she realized what he actually meant. Not only did she have to work on her physical strength and endurance, but also her mental and emotional. It would be hard work, being human but with her guide she could achieve anything!
Three Weeks Later
Spike stepped out to the Hyperion courtyard, taking out a cigarette he lit it up and allowed himself to relax. Since it was now only him and Angel the work load at Angel Investigations was absolutely hectic. This week alone they had "taken care" of two feral demon, four vampires and one small troll that loved to eat human fingers. Although different from the more glamorous pace of Wolfham & Heart eh found himself enjoying this better. Sure, it was harder then before, but the cause, now, was much nobler.
Who would of thought that he would be working with Angel, side by side, fighting the good fight against evil? Not him! At least not a couple of years ago, but so much had changed. His newly acquired soul now making him think about his actions, feel actual compassion and even develop a conscious. Yup, now he knew hold Angel must of have felt...the feeling of obligation when confronted with the need for a champion and, also, the satisfaction felt when a life was saved.
Hearing a sudden rustling from a near by bush, Spike dropped the cigarette and was poised to jump anyone that came his way. But when he saw the familiar form retreating from the bush, he backed down and immediately could sense something different.
Illyria's blue eyes connected with Spike's and she steadily made his way to him. But there was a sluggishness about her movements that had not been there before. Her grace and smoothness suddenly gone. Walking around him and taking her in he first noticed that she was dress in normal clothes – a white peasant blouse and a pair of khaki pants. Also, her hair was a shade of golden blond, her eyes still blue but with a new depth, but perhaps the most important thing of all...he could sense a heart beat and the flow of blood in her veins.
Spike's mouth hung open in disbelief. 'She had actually achieved mortality!' he thought to himself, it had almost kill him to attain a soul...he could barely imagine what she must of have gone through for the entire package.
"As you can see I am no longer immortal" she proclaimed in the same tone she always used, proper and detached, except for now there was a hint of warmth in her speech.
"I can't bloody believe it!" he exclaimed as his eyes took in every detail of her, including the bruises in her arms.
"You're all bruised up, what happened?" Spike's concern very obvious – this wasn't the same old Illyria, he thought to himself. This new Illyria would need care and attention while she built up her strength. It wasn't best to run around, without anyway of protecting yourself, in this city,
"I am far too weak to protect myself. As I much as I enjoy this new sensation within me, I also fear being attacked. You must take me to Wesley...he will protect me."
"Sorry blue, but he's not here anymore, moved to Seattle" Spike gently broke the news to her. He had taken care of Wesley just like she had made him promise, but once he was better Wesley was up and gone.
"I instructed you to take care of him! How shall I find him now!" she now grew angry, raising her fist to strike the blond vampire, her blow had absolutely no force behind it.
"Calm down and come with me inside. You're human now, remember? No more inhuman, earth-shattering strength. Now you have to build up the strength of a human."
"How long shall that take? I must find Wesley...." Illyria could feel tears ready to explode. Lately the feeling to cry had taken hold of her quiet often.
"Not too long, a year perhaps...and I know, that's too long, but Wesley's not going anywhere right now and you just can't continue this way...you won't survive", his last words truly made her snap back into reality. He was right, she concluded, her strength was of main importance at the moment and who better to help her?
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months into years. Three years had passed by and Illyria was now a perfect warrior once more, her teachers had taken pride and concern over her improvement through out the past years. Although it had taken longer then planned Illyria now, within the confides of the human body, was stronger, sharper and more human then ever before.
Both Angel and Spike had to agree that this no longer was Fred. Referring to her in such a way would of have been a clear mistake. Although, she had started out as Fred, Illyria by possessing her own soul and human characteristics was now entirely different person. Due to her physical changes during their training Illyria's body was much more feminine then Fred's would of ever been...the fact making her a distinct person in the eyes of the two vampires.
To them Fred had passed away and Illyria was now a completely different person that shared the same beginnings as her. Yes, her body had originally belonged to Fred, but no one could ever call her a thief or a murderess, since she had never made the actual choice of inhabiting Fred. An awful lost of a beautiful human being, but the gain of another remarkable one.
Once her training was over and they felt she was ready, Wesley's location was finally revealed to her. Bidding both her teachers goodbye Illyria found herself on a plain to Seattle. Angel and Spike had warned her off the possibility of rejection when it came to Wesley. She knew it would be hard having him except her as Illyria not the shell of Fred. But she was ready, her love giving her the patience and fortitude she needed.
Starring out the plane window she felt like a completely different women then she had been when first arriving in this world. Driving a car, programming the VCR, swimming and taking out the trash were skills she had learned and adapted herself to during the past three years in L.A. The world itself no longer puzzled her as before, but the inner realms of the human heart was still a mystery to her...especially Wesley's.
TBC