Open Your Eyes: The Looking Glass

Wesley watched her intently, her every move fascinating to him. Although it had been two days since her arrivals, he still couldn't get pass the fact that she was truly mortal. As for joy, there was none when it came to her new "change". Instead there was a bit of resentment, not at her, but at fate.

Why now? After he had finally been moving on with his life, mending old wounds that hadn't properly heal before. Then here she was once more shaking his life upside down, causing him to feel as if he was sinking into a never-ending abyss.

Since that fateful day she hadn't left his side, only to go to her motel and then return to his cabin. Occupying a guest bedroom next to his, he found himself sitting by her bedside every night watching her sleep.

Wesley wondered what she dreamt about. Did she dream in black and white as he often did?

There were so many questions running through his mind and yet he couldn't fandom how to begin to ask them. But he knew that some sort of action had to be taken, he just couldn't let it lie like this.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Illyria could sense his presence in the room. Each night he would sit by her side and study her, quietly marveling at the fact that she was no longer hollow. That her skin was warm and blood actually flowed through her veins. There was no longer anything "cold" or "blue" about her, he couldn't call her a "smurf" anymore...whatever that was. Instead the only thing that remained blue about her was her eyes and in a way, her mood.

All she longed for was some sort of definite reaction from him, instead he just sat there thinking himself into a frazzled mess, although he couldn't see it, she could and soon he would snap.

Her Wesley was brave, loyal but also dense as hell when it came to matters of the heart. Although he could name every demon on the face of the planet, he could not decide whether he was at least glad to see her or horribly disappointed.

He had probably expected Fred – her big brown eyes and Texas drawl...completely the opposite of her. Fred had been bubbly and shy, she was calm but bold in her actions and words. Her accents had been slow and warm like molasses, while she possessed a more clinical crisp one. The differences between them where numerous – Wesley, as well as she, had realized that a different soul in the same body could result in an entirely different individual.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The days kept on passing and still nothing. They would inhabit the same house, exercise together, cook and even watch movies late into the night. Then finally one day Illyria proved herself wrong. Instead of Wesley snapping, she had been the one to finally go over the edge with the present situation.

"Enough!" she screamed out, getting up and walking away from the couch and television. Passing back and forth she felt like a million thoughts and emotions were running through her, making her hands shake.

"Enough of what, Illyria?" Wesley asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

"I am sick of waiting for you to decide whether you are glad or mad at me? Does it even register in your brain that I am human now. I am just like any other woman! I can cry, laugh, bleed, breath, feel and...love" she said the last word in a near whisper as she settled by his side, placing her hand on his cheek.

For a second Wesley leaned into her touch, closing her eyes. Why did this body hold such power over him? Or was he more attached to the soul then the body it was contained in?

Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he immediately pulled away from her, as if her touch had burned him.

"Love? You love!" he began muttering out loud, not particularly talking to her. "I loved, Illyria! I loved Fred so much that it practically killed me after you infiltrated her...broke her soul and left her an empty shell!" he cried out as he moved further away from her.

A single tear ran down Illyria's face, he blamed her for Fred's death. All this time she had believed Wesley fair and just enough to realize that she had never targeted Fred as her host – Knox had been the one to make the decision, never her!

"I never chose Fred and you know that! I came here, to you, wanting so much to be accepted. But instead you just leave me...in limbo, not knowing whether you could ever...." Illyria stopped, her pride not allowing her to continue.

"Love you." Wesley finished what she dared not say. His eyes suddenly found there way to the ground.

Looking back up at her he could see that whatever he decided to do at the moment, would ultimately determine their future.

"I could never love you Illyria. There is too much of her within you. The both of you are now blurred together...you're an abomination, never meant to be!" his last words were practically spitted out, the bitterness of them making him physically hurt.

Closing her eyes immediately after the words left his lips, Illyria felt like no longer taking another breath. Holding her up high she got up from the sofa and straighten her shoulders. Walking past him she left him grounded to the spot by the utter lack of warmth that had been in her eyes.

Forever Wesley would remember the dying of the light in her eyes. For a faint moment during her declaration of love there had been so much life in her gaze, but the moment abomination had been uttered, it had died out.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Standing in the same spot, the door still open although it had already been hours since her departure he suddenly felt a pang in his heart. Falling to his knees he looked up at the open door – what had he done?

The life in her eyes...he had seen it before, right before he had died. It had been Fred's image that had been presented to him, but in fact it had all been Illyria. The warm caress, the tears spilled, the kiss given, but most importantly the words of love that been spoken – those had all been Illyria, not Fred.

"I love you. My love. Oh, my love."

The unknown icebergs that had been around his heart were suddenly melting away, replaced by the growth of something hot and alive. Holding a hand to his heart he knew he had to find her. Getting up he knew the only other place she would go...but he had to move fast.

His happiness had slipped from his grasp once; he wouldn't make the same mistake twice!

TBC