The Black Cats
By Jay Orin
Chapter one: "Notre Gulliver a de telles fables."1
Disclaimer:
There is now a girl who's half Jew
And writing's what she likes to do
Her boyfriend gave her anime
She wrote fanfiction right away
But she owns nothing, so please do not sue.
Ok, not the best work of poetry. But the "Roses are red" disclaimer was VoHT's and I have no right to steal it. However, if I could borrow it, please VoHT? Pretty please? With whipped cream and marshmallows on top?
Count D: (shakes head) Pitiful, isn't it?
Leon:(Shakes head as well) I would say she lost her mind, if she had any to lose.
Jay Orin: Oh yeah? Well eat this! (types a few words. Suddenly, rabid anime fans appear.)
Leon:(takes off running) Oh Shit!
Count D:(takes off running, too) Curse you!
On with the show!
Count D was one who never gambled. With his knowledge, he didn't have to. Kamis are blessed (or cursed, depending on who you speak to) with the ability to see the colors and patterns of life. And if he had made any bets, he was sure to win them. One of the most predicable patterns in this life and location was the detective. In fact if he made a bet on the detective coming in at that time he would have won it. Just for fun, he even turned toward the door and said the exact same thing that Leon Orcot was saying.
"I've got you this time Count! I've got...
"'I've got you this time Count!' You've got stone-cold proof that I was responsible for the murder of another person; do you detective? This I must hear detective."
"Sneer all you want, you Chinatown Rue Paul wanna-be, but now I finally have a witness and the murderer."
The detective pulled forth the woman who had come to the office. The Count looked over the girl and gasped.
"You! Oh, my poor baby! Come here, come here, you poor kitty," crooned Count D, holding the young woman in his arms. If Count D looked fragile, then this girl looked even more so. She rubbed her head against the Count's chin.
If the scene got anymore warm and fuzzy, Leon would vomit sand.
"I've already got you two for murder. Don't make me add lewd and lascivious behavior to that."
The two looked daggers into Leon. Then Leon heard a low sound coming from the girl. He looked to see her baring her teeth, and he could have sworn that her black hair, cut as it was in a pageboy cut haircut, stood straight on end.
"Excuse me Count, did she just hiss at me?"
"How dare you," said the woman. "How dare you suggest such things of my master!" She hissed again, making it clear that she was displeased with the way Leon was talking about the Count, but Leon had only registered the word "master." So the Count was operating a slave trade ring! "Ah-ha Count! I knew that there was more to this than meets the eye. Pet Shop my ass! You're a slave trader!"
The "woman" looked at Leon and stepped out of the Count's arms. She blink-blinked, and then laughed. It began as a small giggle, and then soon became a most unladylike, hold-your-belly-type laugh, complete with snorts. The two men stared at her, Leon rather bedeviled that he was being laughed at, and the Count, amazed at such a display.
"Heh, heh, forgive me, Detective," said the woman as she tried to stop laughing. "I think we are on the wrong page here. You think I am human."
"Well, aren't you?"
The woman looked at the Count, a questioning look in her eye.
"Go ahead, my dear," said Count D, smiling. "Though do recall the poem by e.e. cummings."2
The woman gave Leon the most serine smile she could, and took off her glasses. On one eye, there was a patch, and the other eye was yellow, and where there should have been a pupil, there was a slit, like a cat's eye.
"It can't be..."
But before Leon could finish the sentence, the woman had changed, her ears becoming more pointed, and a tail with black fur appeared behind her.
"What the hell are you?"
"No need for such language, Detective. This is a very rare breed of cat. So rare in fact that there was only one more cat like it in the whole world," said Count D. He moved his gaze from Leon to the cat-woman, and added, "Your mate, I believe?"
The cat-woman nodded, looking as if she was going to cry.
"This is most vexing," continued the Count. "I remember ordering the pair of you, but I only got one. I trust that the story behind you and your mate getting separated is an interesting one."
She nodded.
"And then you can tell me how you killed Allene," added an impatient Leon Orcot.
She nodded again.
"It all began in Xanadu..."
"Oh boy, I'm not sure who is more crazy, me for listening and seeing the things I am seeing, or this chick, for the story."
The cat-woman stared daggers once more at Leon.
"IF I may continue, please?"
"Go ahead."
"As I was saying, it all began in Xanadu..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
1.This is a piece from a book of Edgar Allen Poe Short Stories and Novellas. It means "Our Gulliver has such fables."
2.this alludes to Leon's stubbornness to believe in any thing. The poem in question is called plato told.
plato told
him:he couldn't
believe it(jesus
told him;he
wouldn't believe
it)lao
tsze
certainly told
him,and general
(yes
mam)
sherman;
and even
(believe it
or
not)you
told him:i told
him;we told him
(he didn't believe it,no
sir)it took
a nipponized bit of
the old sixth
avenue
el;in the top of his head:to tell
him