Rating: R due to "graphic nature"

Minor Pairing(s) for this chapter: Kai/Rei (M/M), Kai/Takao (M/M), Takao/Max (M/M)

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or its characters.

Yes, I changed the title. Tearing Away was a temporary title till I found one I liked. The town of Kushiro is a swampy place in Hokkaido, in case anybody wonders where at in Japan the Kushiro train wreck happened (note: the wreck is purely fictional for this fanfic).

Bit of a boring chapter. Sorry.

Chinese Used:
-gōng suffix for a respected person
-dàren suffix for a higher ranked official
shèng- prefix indicating holiness; I took this one to be like "-sama"
-jūn suffix for a male friend

REMINDER: pay attention to dates; this is ESPECIALLY important for this chapter above all others.

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Part 4 – When It's Cold I'd Like To Die

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January 24, 1986

The birds chattered with one another, dancing back and forth from tree branch to tree branch. They darted behind the flowers of the small tulip tree; they fluttered up and down when it suited them. They skipped from one tree to another, watching their shadows on the ground. A breeze shifted the branches, loose petals breaking free, and the birds paused for a moment to enjoy the breath beneath their wings.

Then they began to talk again.

The conversation, no doubt, was about the changing of the seasons; about how high the clouds were in the sky, and how the beautifully soft hues of winter left the world looking dull to an untrained eye. But they knew what to look for, where to find it, and their conversations grew louder, more excited, as the minutes passed.

Keenly aware of their natural surroundings they were, but they hardly noticed anything else. Kai watched them intently from his spot on a bench below, wondering what it would be like to be so content with the simple pleasure of past-winter, and he wondered, as most do, what it would be like to fly to those high clouds, to let the wind hold him in the sky.

As if reading his thoughts, the wind blew gently against him, rubbing his already red cheeks and ears. Kai bundled tighter into his coat, hiding his hands in his pockets. Above him, the birds ruffled their feathers and snuggled closer together. Kai dolefully watched them; he had no one to snuggle against.

"Hiwatari-kun?"

The birds fluttered away.

"What are you doing out here, dear? You'll get sick in this nasty weather."

Kai uncurled from his position and placed a cold hand in the other's hand being offered to him, as was expected of him. The woman smiled at him, and Kai returned the smile, though with less enthusiasm, and slid off the bench to walk beside her on the sidewalk, sadly looking at the trees they were leaving behind. He knew the woman meant well, but she had scared away the birds and she clearly could not see what he saw in the cold milieu.

"We were able to contact your grandfather, Hiwatari-kun. He wasn't able to speak to us long, but he said he would give us a call as soon as possible. Doesn't that make you happy?"

The question was followed by another smile and the woman squeezed Kai's hand gently. He stared at her in bafflement, no quite grasping what she was telling him. "What about my aunt?"

There was an obvious hesitance in the woman's entire manner now, her walk jerky and her mouth opening in half-thoughts before closing again. She looked down at Kai; he could tell this smile was forced. "Your aunt can't take care of you anymore, sweetie. If your grandfather agrees, you will go to live with him from now on."

Kai stopped walking, letting his hand slide back to his side. He stared at the ground in front of him, eyes tracing the corners of the bricks. The woman stopped, too, and kneeled down in front of him, resting her hands on his shoulders.

"Why?"

He heard her breathe in slowly and the soft sigh that followed. One of the hands moved from his shoulder to lift his chin so she could look him in the eye. "Kai, your aunt was very ill. I'm afraid there was nothing the doctors could do for her. I didn't want to tell you this so-"

"Did I kill her?"

The woman looked utterly shocked. "No, sweetie, you didn't do anything. Your aunt had a disease that-"

"She said that I would be the death of her one day," Kai whispered, eyes falling back to the ground. "She said that I caused her nothing but problems. She said I was a waste of life. She said I had killed her…"

"You wretched child!"

"Whatever your aunt said when she was angry, I'm sure she didn't mean it."

A sharp slap…

"She said…"

A dark place…

"She said it was my fault…"

"Nobody wants you!"

The woman gave him a slight shake. "Hiwatari-kun… Listen to me."

Kai shivered in the cold. It seemed like the wind was blowing harder now; the trembling began, as it always did. The sky was getting darker, and the trees leaned closer to Kai -- they were reaching for him. No, they were changing into hard walls, closing around him. The air was thicker, the sky now black. Fear chocked him, and he could make out the thin line of light coming from under the door.

Kai screamed and desperately pushed at the hands trying to encircle his small frame. The world was spinning and there was some sort of pounding in his ears.

"Hiwatari-kun! Hiwa- Kai! You have to calm down, Kai! You have to listen to me!"

The sound of running, shoes scraping the ground, mere echoes in the back of his mind.

"What's going on? What's the matter with him?"

"I don't know! Get the doctor out here! Now!"

Running again, except leaving. Everything left; it was a fact of life. Everything was scared away.

And the dark world appeared to open up for a second, and through the haze Kai could see a face. He could hear the voice that was calling to him, soothing him, and asking him to relax. He stopped fighting and went limp, his body shaking more down than it ever had before. The woman barely heard his whisper.

"She said… she said I killed them… She said that they died because they hated me…"

The woman pulled Kai closer, not sure how to respond to such an admission. What had scared him so much? She stroked his hair and whispered reassuring words, hearing the others running to where they were. Kai, she noticed, could not stop shaking, still afraid of whatever was playing in his mind. Yet, something was not right.

There were no tears.

"Tell me, Kai," she murmured. "Where did you go?"

The others were beside them now, everyone kneeling to check on the small child. So many questions, so many hands. She did her best to answer them, to describe what had happened to the now present doctor. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Kai's lips moving, but there was so much noise that she missed his response.

"To the closet."

A soft body pressed against his own, a gentle breath against his neck; silky black hair brushing against his chin, and fabric rustling faintly in the quiet. Hands were gently gripping his shoulders -- small and delicate, yet powerful, hands. The body moving away, but only so eyes could meet, and those red lips forming a sentence, a smile hanging on them as they did so.

"Goodbye, yān yǎn-jūn."

The world shatters.

Saturday, September 17, 2003

The sharp ring of a telephone startled Kai into consciousness, and, slowly, he began to recognize the sounds of a busy office. He straightened in his chair, rubbing his sore eyes and trying to work out the kinks in his body from sleeping in such an awkward position. The morning sun sprinkled in through the windows, reflecting off the tiled floor. He looked around the office for a clock.

"It's eight-thirty."

It took a moment for Kai to register the cup of coffee now hanging in front of his face. He took the offered cup, nearly dropping it out of weakened exhaustion. "How long have I been asleep?"

"'Bout an hour," the other, sitting in the chair next to Kai, replied.

Kai stared emptily at his coffee. The last thing he wanted was something that would keep him awake. With an inward sigh, Kai set the coffee on the ground and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. "Are they still in there?"

"Yep."

Eight-thirty… That meant it had been twelve hours since Takenouchi's murder, but it seemed like days. The night had been long and full of questions, both from the police force that had burst into the room, and from the Agency. Most of the questions Kai could not answer – who had called the police being one of them – and the few he could answer had explanations that sounded like invented stories even to him.

The White Tigers were considered to be Japan's most hated adversary for a reason. They were skilled, cold, and downright ruthless in the way that they murdered everyone in sight. Most of the small amount of survivors had to undergo severe therapy after a White Tiger encounter. That the White Tigers had intended to attack Takenouchi and no one else at the birthday celebration beside his two Agency companions was unbelievable. That both Kai and Takao would not only be able to match the White Tigers' abilities, but also able to survive those quick moves and deadly blades were simply ludicrous ideas, merely stories.

While a large portion of the White Tiger agents did not believe Kai (a good many of them believing him to have created the tale in order to win sympathy since he had, after all, failed an assignment), the ones that had arrived at the crime scene did believe him. After examining Takenouchi's body and the pieces of the statue, they seemed to know immediately what had happened. They had been arguing with the others for over six hours and it was the final decision from the argument that Kai was waiting for.

Takao was on the second floor, in the medical ward. He was, aside from some bruising and a headache, physically fine. It was worried at first that he may have a concussion, but, aside from his un-wake-able sleep, there were no signs or scans indicating internal damage. Simply put, Takao was asleep and did not plan to wake any time soon, much to the annoyance of Kai because he really needed his partner backing him up at that moment. Still, it was amusing…

The door next to Kai swung open violently, slamming into the wall behind it, and an obviously quite upset man stormed out. He was tailed by two others that glowered at Kai before following their irate companion.

"That went well."

Drawing his attention away from the trio de pissed-off agents and back to the doorway, Kai looked up at the man who had made the dry comment. He stood, head swimming a bit from sleepiness, but managed to bow respectfully.

"Daitenji-san."

Daitenji glanced over at Kai, stepping out of the way of other agents leaving the room (all of which gave Kai some sort of look, whether it be curious or judging). His usual, and strangely optimistic, expression was now stern and gloom. His frown deepened as he took in Kai's disheveled appearance, but before he could comment, another man joined them. His expression was one of annoyance, gained through two hours of sitting through an argument.

"Hiwatari-san, you are being suspended until further notice. Whether or not you will continue to work for the Agency will be decided when all evidence from the Takenouchi case has been gathered. For now, you will be escorted home."

The Agency's Administrator glanced at something behind Kai, then, without waiting for a response from Kai, spun on his heel and stalked toward the elevator. Kai watched him briefly before turning around. He was met with the cool, dark eyes of Yuki Erii, Director of Operations for the White Tiger case. He held Kai's gaze for a moment, his expression calm yet calculating, and then he was past Kai without so much as a squeak of his shoes.

A chill ran through Kai as he stared at the empty space before him. Either he was more tired than he thought, or Yuki could do magic tricks, because he had no recollection of seeing the man move.

"Hiwatari-san."

Kai snapped back around to face Daitenji. "Yes, sir?"

"Before Kudoh-san accompanies you to your home," Daitenji said, indicating the man that had brought Kai coffee earlier, "I would like to have a word with you."

Kai nodded and followed his immediate superior into a private office, Kudoh waiting outside. Daitenji was silent for a while, sitting behind his desk with an almost pained expression. He sighed, putting a hand to his chin thoughtfully, and then looked up at Kai standing – wavering – patiently in front of him.

"You realize the severity of the circumstances?" he asked at last.

Kai nodded.

Daitenji sighed again, but let out a snort of dry amusement. "I'm getting too old for this." He motioned for Kai to sit down in a chair. "Don't stand. I know you're tired. It has been a long night."

Kai gratefully sat down in one of the chairs, inwardly whining that it was not fitted with a cushion.

"Your report is rather unbelievable, given the previous White Tiger methods, but the evidence already acquired is in your favor. I believe you because I know you. You and Kinomiya-san are my two best agents. However, the decision is not mine to make," Daitenji said with a hint of bitterness in his voice. He clearly intended to say more on the matter, but closed his mouth and appeared to be examining Kai again. A small smile made its way to his face. "I don't know why I bother explaining this. You already know what's going on." He flicked his hand in the direction of the door. "Go home and get some sleep. I don't know what your costume was meant to be, but right now you look like a strangled cat."

Kai's mouth quirked at the statement, and he vaguely wondered what the other agents thought when they had seen Takao's elaborate, if now torn and battered, flower costume.

Fortunately, Kudoh must have realized Kai did not feel like speaking; the drive to his apartment was completed in utter silence. The sun was well into the sky now, making Kai squint his already red-rimmed eyes. The ride to his home was short, or so it seemed to him, as he dozed off at one time while they were stuck in a traffic jam.

Yet, when Kudoh left after making sure he got into his apartment safely and he dropped onto his bed, drawing the blankets close to him, he could not fall asleep. It was the first time he had been left alone since the police had burst into Takenouchi's study, left to allow his mind to wander freely without the worry that someone would be able to pry into his thoughts.

And no matter how hard he tried to sleep, his mind kept drifting back to one person: the golden-eyed White Tiger.

December 5, 1985

She was angry; that much was clear.

Whoever had called must have been the cause, for she had slammed the phone down after saying a rough good bye. Then she had stomped into her bedroom, knocking over one of her precious vases in the process. Her cry of anger was what had caught his attention. There was something different in that cry – something sad.

Her face had shriveled, as if she were about to cry, but she was a strong woman, there was no doubting that. Besides, crying was not allowed. Instead, she huffed, kicking the shards of porcelain so that they slid down the hallway, and continued to stomp her way toward her bedroom, not even bothering to call for him to come and clean up the mess.

Kai slowly looked around the corner again, having leapt out of sight when the shards had been kicked in his direction. He could hear her bustling around her room, drawers squeaking open, and cracking as they were slammed shut. Items were being ripped out of the closet, trinkets knocked to the floor… Yes, she was definitely angry.

Normally, he was wise enough to disappear when she was in one of her moods, only reluctantly returning when he heard her sharp call, but this time was different, because accompanying the crashes and banging were muffled sobs and growled curses. His curiosity was getting the better of him, and before he realized what he was doing, he was standing before her half-open door, peeking inside.

A large suitcase was open on the bed, clothes already piled in it. Other clothes littered the floor, along with jewelry, hangers, and other sorts of bedroom items. She was leaning into the closet searching for something, and her search grew more and more desperate. Kai had never seen her like this and watched in fascination.

"Where is it! Where, where, where!"

In a fit of rage, she grabbed the shelves in her closet and dumped them over, kicking them as if that would help her find whatever it was that she was looking for. Kai flinched and scooted closer to the wall where he was less visible through the doorway.

Her foot stopped in mid-kick and she sank to the floor, broken. Her sobs were quiet and choked, her pride not wanting to let her tears win in the moment of crisis.

"No… it's not true… I'm fine… There's nothing wrong with me… I'm fine…"

Kai watched as she buried her face in her hands, letting go of all her dignity and bawling loudly. He was shocked, amazed. Before him was the crumpled form of the large woman he cowered from, the high-pitched and always angry voice now deep with some unknown sorrow. She had bruised and beaten him many times yet… she looked so sad…

Kai pushed the door open a little more, taking a small step into her room. "Aunt Marie?"

All crying stopped and, as she lifted her head to stare at him, so did Kai's heart.

"You…" she whispered, her eyes narrowing on him. She lifted a finger to point accusingly at him. "You… You've killed me… You've killed me you wretched brat!"

Kai turned and fled, hearing things hit the wall right behind him as she hurled them after him. He ran over the broken shards of the vase, cutting his feet to shreds, but he didn't even notice. Her voice was resonating in his ears, following him even after he had burst through the front door and ran toward the fields beyond her home.

"You've killed me you dirty son of a bitch! You monster! You've killed me!"

Saturday, September 17, 2003

"They haven't decided on anything yet. It's still being reviewed."

…

"Being the head of the case, they will no doubt ask for my opinion."

…

"What about Rei-gōng?"

…

"Yes, I understand. I will make it happen."

Yuki Erii snapped his phone shut and set it on his desk, hand lingering over it as he stared at in deep thought. Hiwatari Kai… The name seemed familiar, yet so unimportant. Why would Rei spare both Hiwatari and his partner? Yen's tone suggested that he had not been able to get the reason out of Rei.

The wind whistled and the sky cracked…

A knock on his door startled Erii from his thoughts. It opened and a timid, young agent poked his head inside.

"Sir, they're ready now."

Erii waved him off and stood up, pausing briefly to look at his phone as if he expected it to ring again. Some thought was prowling around in the back of his mind, covered by the shadows of years.

The screams could be heard over the loud boom of thunder…

With a deep sigh, Erii made his way to the door, nearly colliding with another young agent carrying a small stack of papers as he swung it open.

"Um, this is all the information you wanted, sir."

"Place them on my desk," Erii stated calmly. He made to leave, but the paper on top caught his attention. He quickly snatched it up before the agent could walk away. His eyes widened as he read the lines. Then spinning on his heel, he began to head toward the office where his presence was being awaited, the paper firmly crushed in his hand.

"We'll leave him here. If he can survive the night, then he deserves to live."

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Tuesday, September 20, 2003

"I feel… like… shit."

Kai glanced at his soon-to-be-former partner, who, after having fallen heavily into the chair next to Kai like a sack of feed, laid his head on Kai's shoulder in a display of exhaustion. Kai frowned, brow creasing in aggravation, and shook Takao's head off his shoulder with a quiet growl. Takao groaned and slumped farther in his seat, giving Kai his own agitated frown.

"I haven't been sleeping well," Takao muttered around a yawn. He stared vacantly at the clock on the opposite wall of the hall. "I mean… we failed him…"

Kai didn't offer a reply, as he was not sure how to respond to Takao's depression. He knew it was the first time Takao had ever lost someone close, but words were not his strong suit. Instead, when Takao's head dropped against him again, he made no move to shrug it off.

Truth be told, Kai was not sleeping well, either. How, between the anticipation of not knowing whether or not he would still have a job at the end of the week and his preoccupation with a certain White Tiger, could he? However, unlike Takao, Kai had had his potentially breaking point Saturday morning and, having lived through it, was now back to his usual reclusive self.

The sound of footsteps, and then someone was standing before them. Takao blearily opened his eyes and sat up straight, stifling another yawn behind his hand; Kai looked at the young man expectantly.

"Daitenji-san will see you now. Please follow me."

When they entered his office, Daitenji was examining some papers on his desk, every now and then jotting notes down on a piece of paper. He barely glanced up at Kai and Takao, motioning for them to take a seat while he finished whatever it was that he was doing. Takao dropped into the seat as unceremoniously as he did before, ignoring manners. He knew Daitenji favored him and Kai over the other agents working in the homicide department, and he took full advantage of that favor.

When Daitenji finally laid his pen down and leaned back in his chair, Takao was practically asleep. He gave a small smile as Kai elbowed Takao awake. Clearly the possibility of losing his job really was not the concern of the younger of the two agents.

"The case has been reviewed, quite a few times actually," Daitenji started once he had their full attention. "It has been decided that you are both telling the truth," Takao having been called in on Sunday to give his account of what happened, "and the two of you will keeps your jobs here at the Agency."

Kai relaxed a little; he had joined the Agency for a reason, after all, and it would have been a waste of time to be fired so soon.

"However, it has also been decided that the two of you will be moved to the Chinese terrorist case, publicly known as the White Tiger case."

Takao shot up in his seat like he had been stung. "Whoa, what? No, no, no. I've played once with the pretty, little kitties, and I don't plan to ever again."

"Kinomiya-kun, I understand your refusal, but the two of you are the first two agents that have ever seen the White Tigers with your own eyes and lived to tell about it." Daitenji sat forward and clasped his hands together on his desk. He stared hard at Takao. "You may be able to give vital information to the case."

"It's either join the case or lose you job," Kai said quietly to Takao. He was feeling rather excited about the reassignment. Being on the White Tiger case was where he wanted to be.

"I'd rather be jobless than dead!" Takao snapped. He turned back to Daitenji. "Can't I just tell them what I know and leave it at that?"

"I doubt you will be placed in a field position," Daitenji assured him. "The two of you will be far too new to the case for Yuki-san to take the risk of putting you in such an atmosphere, despite your previous encounter."

"But we will be put there eventually, and ultimately be killed!" Takao jumped from his chair and started to make his way toward the door. "There is a reason it's considered to be the suicide case!"

"Hopefully you will be able to help them bring about the ruin of the White Tigers before you are placed in such a position. Kinomiya-kun," Daitenji's soft tone made Takao pause in his storm to the door. "I know you are going through a rough time, and I know that you only want to forget about what happened, but think about all the people they have killed. Takenouchi was not the first, and he won't be the last. I would have refused to allow you to be moved if I didn't think you would be of great service to the case. Please, Kinomiya-kun."

The three of them were silent, two pairs of eyes studying Takao's slumped form as he thought. He sighed and slowly turned back around, giving a small nod of consent. It was the second time that day that Kai had let out a quiet breath of relief. Takao had been his partner since he had started at the Agency, and he trusted no one else with his life.

"Well then," Daitenji continued quietly, "There will be a meeting for you to attend this afternoon. I'm sure everything will be explained to you there. You may spend your time until then cleaning out your desks."

November 28, 1985

"You wretched child! Nobody wants you!"

The thin crack of light was mocking him, dancing before him like a dream. The darkness closed around him like the hand of the devil, suffocating him. The eerie silence grew louder with each passing moment and pressed heavily against him, broken only by his weak pleas to be let out. He huddled near the light, afraid of the black depth beyond him.

There were things in the darkness, shadowy creatures that were waiting for him to close his eyes so they could attack. He knew that if he tore his eyes away for one second they would be upon him, tearing his body to shreds. So he sat, and watched the darkness, crying silently to himself, because no one beyond the door cared about his fear.

He didn't know what he had done wrong. He had only been petting the cats. He had made sure not to hurt them, made sure that every stroke was gentle. He thought they liked it.

Kai had thought wrong.

The crack of glass and the hands were reaching; a child's scream pierced the air.

Tuesday, September 20, 2003

The meeting was more or less a briefing for all agents new to the case, which were six others besides Kai and Takao. They were the replacements, apparently, for whoever had died the week before. Not at all a reassuring role.

They were, however, given some information that was not let out to the rest of the Agency. The White Tiger case had started nineteen years prior instead of seventeen years – the first two years having been attacks only on the Agency, and it wasn't until the Kushiro train wreck in 1986 that there was any hostility directed toward the public.

Despite nineteen years of battling the White Tigers, the motive for their attacks was, strangely, unknown – quite the disappointment to the new agents.

They were told that more information would be given to them as the case went along, and, if they had any questions, to ask their section leaders. Then they were promptly split up to fill the holes in certain sections. Kai and Takao – like Daitenji had suspected – were sent to the "technical" area of the floor.

Takao trudged alongside Kai, arms folded and a look of disgruntlement on his face. He glowered at the floor in front of him, one eyebrow twitching in annoyance. "If they were going to put us on the suicide case, they could have at least given us something that was a little more interesting."

Kai gave him an annoyed glare. "I thought you said you didn't want to be facing the White Tigers again."

"That's because I don't, but c'mon, why else would we be replacements if someone hadn't been killed?" Takao's fingers began to tap on his arm nervously. "That tells us that nobody working on the White Tiger case is safe."

"Well, actually…"

They turned to face the voice behind them.

"I can assure you that no one working in the technical area has ever been killed. At least, not while they were working technical," the man said, giving Takao a small, but warm and reassuring, smile. He held out his hand. "Mizuhara Max. I'm in charge of everything technical about the White Tiger case."

"Kinomiya Takao," Takao stated, taking Max's hand in a firm shake. He jerked a thumb toward Kai. "My partner – er, former partner – Hiwatari Kai."

Kai didn't take Max's offered hand, choosing instead to give the blond man a quizzical, and somewhat untrusting, look. "You seem a little young to be in charge of anything around here, especially on a case such as this one."

Max withdrew his hand to rub the back of his neck anxiously, giving a short laugh. "Well… My father used to be the Director of Operations for the White Tiger case, so I was immediately placed on the White Tiger case when I first started working for the Agency. Since then, I've just moved up in rank."

Kai snorted in annoyance. So the man's daddy had gotten him in. How fortunate – or unfortunate. Mizuhara… Ah, yes, the Director before Yuki Erii, killed during the attack in Osaka. Remembering this, Kai softened toward the blond man now chatting with Takao. Besides, if they kept him where he was even after his father was gone, then perhaps he should receive a little credit.

"Mizuhara-san… If nobody has been… If no one is needed in the technical section, then why are we being sent to it?" Takao was asking.

Max gave him another small smile. "Because we weren't expecting any one besides the six chosen for the case. The two of you were kind of thrown on us, and Yuki-san felt it best to start you out in an area that you wouldn't feel too burdened in, since it was probably a shock for you as well."

"Yeah," Takao muttered, "It was."

"Well, let's go, then," Max chirped, and lead them down the hall. "You need to meet the others you will be working with, and I'm sure you want to know more about what's going on. The briefings are never really informative."

At first glance, Max seemed a little too chipper to be an adult, much less in charge of anybody, but as Kai studied him more, he found that everything about Max appeared to be… tired. The man's eyes drooped in a sad sort of way, and, as he continued to talk to them about what they were going to be doing, Kai noticed that he would ring his hands together in a way that someone with an extreme amount of stress would do.

To think, Mizuhara Max had stayed on the case even after his father had been killed. Yes, he definitely deserved more respect than Kai had originally showed him.

The others working in the technical section were about as interested in Kai and Takao as Kai was in them. They politely shook hands, but it was brief and accompanied only by a quick glance. Only one of the eight others caught Kai's attention as being unusual.

He was small and hunched over a lap top, typing away madly. His eyes remained glued to the screen even as Max introduced them, only murmuring, "Aa," to show that he had heard. His preoccupation wasn't what held Kai's curiosity. It was that the young man looked just that – young. He could not have been over twenty.

Seeing Kai frowning at the one he had just introduced as the "real man behind everything – Kyouju," Max laughed outright. "Yeah, he's pretty young, but a genius, and when you get a chance to talk to him, you'll like him."

"So we just gather information and try to guess when the White Tigers are going to make another move?" Takao asked, scratching the back of his head – not because it itched, but because he needed something to do with his hands that otherwise would be twitching.

"We try to know when," Max corrected, yet it sounded silly even to him. The White Tigers were utterly unpredictable. He fidgeted a little, eyes darting to somewhere else in the room. "Actually… They usually forewarn us about when and where they're going to be next."

"And the times they don't…?" Kai prompted.

Max leveled a guarded gaze at him and murmured softly, "Things like the Kushiro train wreck happen."

Kai was taken back by the words, turning his face away to look at Kyouju's computer screen. He figured Max would have taken a look at his and Takao's background and profiles, but to be met so openly and quickly with his past was disturbing. His eyes widened as he thought about what suspicions his associates might have about him since he had not survived a White Tiger once, but twice in the known nineteen years. He suddenly felt like all eyes in the room were watching him.

"We have come to the conclusion that certain attacks, such as the museum raid last week, are mainly to draw out our best agents," Max said gravely. "At those times, it seems as if they have no reason in mind except to get rid of agents that might know too much."

The room felt like it had dropped several degrees in temperature, and a chill went through Takao. "Then why do you go to meet them?" he asked.

Max sighed. "Because we can never be too sure what would happen if we didn't. Would they attack the public instead? Would this be the last time when we overpowered them at last? There are numerous questions to be answered."

"Why can't you just send the entire Agency in there?"

Someone eavesdropping from the other side of the room gave a snort at the question.

Max smiled gently at Takao. "It's a little more complicated than that. The White Tigers possess skills that most of our agents don't even know exist."

Takao shifted nervously, and then gave an aggravated sigh. "Man… This is really… It freaks me out."

"You should be."

Kyouju spun around in his chair, arms folded over his chest and a menacing expression on his boyish face. "Freaked out, I mean. 'Freaked out' is mild to what you should be feeling. The White Tigers are dangerous killers, and no matter what tactics the Agency uses, they always know how to counter."

"Kyouju-kun…" Max started, but was quickly cut off by the vehement young man.

"They provide no reason for their actions, which leaves us in the dark. They manipulate us into believing that we're the ones calling the shots, and that is far from the truth."

By now, everyone in the room was watching the scene. Kai was surprised the kid he had thought a quiet little nerd was taking such a stance against the White Tigers. He glanced at Takao and noticed that his former partner was clearly regretting having said anything.

"The White Tigers use a distraction method, one that changes every time we meet them, and, believe me, that is the most important thing you need to know." Kyouju spun back around to face his computer, typing as he continued to speak. "It appears that the White Tigers choose their victims and places at random, but I think there is some pattern behind it all. I'm sure of it. I just need to find out what it is."

At this, the others in the room sighed obnoxiously loud or rolled their eyes – obviously having heard this discussion before – and turned back to what they were doing.

Kyouju ignored them. "Aside from the two of you, no one alive has ever seen the White Tigers in action. We have security tapes from places like the museum, but only the ones that were left purposely for us, which is why we need to know what you know. I think it will help me find the pattern."

"Whoa, wait," Takao interrupted, holding up a hand to stop the speech, "If they are so skilled that they can out-maneuver the Agency repeatedly, and have been able to do so for the past nineteen years, then how were we," Takao indicated himself and Kai, "able to not only fight back, but nearly catch them?"

Kyouju turned around to face him again, eyes narrowed. "That's a good question, isn't it?"

There was a certain level of accusation in his tone that made Kai bristle. However, Max stepped in before anything was started between the three young men, and possibly those who were again watching and listening to the discussion.

"We don't know how important Takenouchi-san was to the White Tigers. We believe that they saw him as a minor threat or simply an annoyance, thus they didn't send their elite to do the job. Judging by the information you have already given us, we think that the two you encountered may have been novices. The third was, most likely, the only truly skilled one there, and he made the decision to let you go," Max explained. His eyes again met up with Kai's. "The question is, why?"

Because I know him, Kai thought, but didn't dare speak it out loud. He had yet to tell anyone about his familiarity with the White Tiger, knowing full well how suspicion on his part would rise. He stared back at Max with a guarded expression, letting nothing out.

"Ch'," Takao leaned against the wall behind him. "If those were novices, then I don't want to meet the experts."

"No," Max agreed, "You don't."

"I think that has been enough discussion for one day."

All movement stopped, and everyone's eyes were immediately on the man standing in the doorway. Max bowed politely to his superior, Kai and Takao quickly following suit. When Kai looked up, he found Yuki Erii's staring at him as he had Saturday morning – an analyzing look, carefully taking in everything Kai did and said.

"I believe it is about time you showed Kinomiya-san and Hiwatari-san what to do," Yuki commented toward Max, voice low and without emotion.

"Yes, sir."

Yuki's eyes never left Kai until he was out of the room.

October, 2003

Rei watched the clouds move over him, a wide smile on his face.

Hiwatari Kai…

He wasn't supposed to know the name, but Yuki and Yen should have been more cautious and quiet with their discussions. If they did not want him eavesdropping, they should not have trained him so well.

Rei stretched his arms above his head and sighed, remembering those dark eyes staring back at him in shock. What had Hiwatari Kai been thinking at that moment? He had recognized Rei instantly, that much had been obvious, but what was running through his mind? Surely he knew that Rei was a White Tiger. Whether he had been working on the White Tiger case at that Agency or not, everybody knew the White Tigers were the ones behind the Kushiro train wreck.

Sighing again, Rei rolled onto his stomach and began to play with the dead and dried blades of grass. Yen was less than pleased with him for having let the two agents live, and seemed aggravated that he paid so much attention to Agent Hiwatari Kai. He had a right to be, Rei supposed, since those two agents could provide information on their appearances and such, but Rei was sure Yuki would take care of everything.

Besides, if it weren't for Rei, Takenouchi would still be alive and probably guarded – which, while annoying, would not have been that big a deal, except they would have to go out of their way to set things straight.

Rei's eyes dimmed a little. Hiwatari Kai was going to have to pay for what he did to the new tigers; the poor kids weren't prepared to have someone be able to fight back against them. They had underestimated the two agents. But what did they expect? Hiwatari Kai had survived a train wreck. Then again, they didn't know who he was; he was supposed to be just an ordinary agent.

Hiwatari Kai…

Another smile crept its way to Rei's face.

I can't wait to meet you again…

-----

Kai leaned back against the headboard of his bed with a tired sigh. He had spent most of the night wading through old White Tiger files. It would "help to understand their methods," Mizuhara had said, but as far as Kai could tell, they didn't have a method. Everything about their attacks seemed to be random, pointless.

Another, more aggravated, sigh and Kai ran a hand through his hair before picking up one of the vanilla folders that covered his bed and simply staring at its dated front. From what he had read, he and Takao had been more than lucky. They were, aside from three others that were permanently institutionalized, the only surviving agents to see the White Tigers face to face and live to tell about it.

It was thoroughly unnerving, to be honest.

Kai wearily opened the folder and began to read the information within. It was, for the most part, the same as the others: White Tigers attack a citizen's home, the citizen is killed, everyone in the surrounding area is killed, and the Agency doesn't have a clue as to why.

Except…

Takenouchi Chyou… Kai read the name over twice before his exhausted mind clicked into place. The name was only briefly mentioned in the short paragraph on friends of the family of the murdered. The case itself was from three years prior, and, compared to the other cases Kai had read through, appeared to be the most random attack of them all.

The case stated that Takenouchi Chyou was a fleeting acquaintance of Yagami Taichi, the unfortunate victim, but to know two of the people targeted by the White Tigers somehow became a link in a seemingly random case (the more Kai listened to Kyouju, the more he started to believe the kid's theories, which, he wasn't sure, was entirely healthy for him mentally).

Kai read over the pages a few more times before shaking his head and tossing the folder away from him. He already had a headache, and in starting to think that he could spot a connection in the cases was proof that he would lose his mind if he didn't get some sleep soon. Dragging himself off of his bed, he reorganized all the folders back into the stacks that Mizuhara had handed to him.

The bird was perched on the back of his desk chair, one head tucked under its wing. Kai snapped his fingers next to it to wake it up without being attacked. It lifted its head quickly and stared at him curiously, hopping away when he reached for it.

"Come here, Bird," Kai muttered, holding his hand out for the evil thing to step on. "I'm locking you in tonight."

The thing squawked at him but climbed onto his hand anyway, gnawing one of his fingers as he carried it to the kitchen. It was a little more defiant when the time came to go into the cage, but many bites later, Kai had it in the cage and the cage locked with a key lock he had picked up on his way home.

"Sleep, Bird," Kai ordered when it started squawking noisily as he threw the small blanket over its cage. He held up one edge of the blanket to stare at his bird and it stopped its noise to stare back at him. "Sometimes I wonder why I ever got you in the first place."

They stared at each other until Kai dropped the blanket back down, and made his way back to his room, smiling lightly.

-----

Unlike on the floor of the homicide department, where the entire floor was an office scattered with desks and filing cabinets, the second floor dedicated to the White Tiger case that Kai was working on were three large rooms and each room was crowded in their own special way. The "Technical Room" was an especially dark room, due to lack of windows, and desks lined the walls the entire way around with a large island of desks bearing computers squished into the middle. All in all, it was stuffy, and, having never had to work elbow-to-elbow with anyone before, Kai found it annoying.

But he wasn't about to start complaining.

He rarely was ever a field agent and, thus, became accustomed to large amounts of paperwork, but the White Tiger case took "large" to a whole new meaning. Even with Kai and Takao as extras there didn't seem to be enough people to fulfill what was required.

Into the night, Kai was one of the few remaining to finish work. It was still pretty early to be leaving, but the others in the room drifted out one by one until only a handful was left. Takao had made a comment earlier to him that the agents on the White Tiger case appeared listless and uncaring. Kai had brushed the comment off then, but the more he interacted with the other agents the more he began to believe it. The White Tiger agents seemed… dead.

But, again, he wasn't one to complain.

"I'm going for coffee. You want some?" Takao asked, suddenly appearing over him.

Kai leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his eyes. "Yeah, sure. It looks like I'm going to be here a while anyway."

Takao nodded in agreement, and walked to the two others still in the room, Mizuhara and Kyouju, to make the same offer. Kai welcomed the small distraction of watching him; anything was better than reading at that moment. Stretching, Kai looked around the dark room at the messy desks, his eyes finally resting on the one beside his own.

Another thing Kai had noticed about the White Tiger agents was that none of them cared about putting files away, not even the more confidential files. No one besides the White Tiger agents were allowed on either of the floors used for the case, but even with that Kai thought they would be less sloppy about their work.

The agent that sat on Kai's right was one of the messier ones. Pencil shavings, clipped papers, and files were carelessly thrown across the desk. Kai glanced over the names of the files, pausing when he came across the Takenouchi case.

It wasn't his place to look, seeing as the file wasn't given to him, but no one cared anyway, so what did he have to worry about?

Kai grabbed the filed quickly and quietly, making sure that Kyouju and Mizuhara hadn't seen. He thumbed through the file, finding the format to be the same as all the others. It was unnerving to read the notes about his own interrogation, so he flipped to Takao's. Looking over the case brought back memories from that night, and Kai shook his head to clear it of the White Tiger's watchful eyes.

"Takenouchi Chyou entered the study to find her husband dead and Agent Hiwatari Kai and Agent Kinomiya Takao unconscious."

Kai re-read the line, frowning in confusion. The only time Takenouchi Chyou had been in the room was when she pushed past the police, demanding to know what was going on, which was soon followed by her scream and tears. Kai had told them what happened; why was it wrong in the file?

"Guests alerted the police at Takenouchi's scream. Upon their arrival, the police contacted the Agency for further support in the case.

"Concluded: White Tigers' random attack."

No, Kai thought, I told the police what happened. I called the Agency for support. What the hell is this? It wasn't a random attack. I told Yuki and the others what Takenouchi said to them! He had some sort of connection to the White Tigers…

Yet, down at the bottom of the page was Yuki Erii's signature, stating that everything in the file was as it should have been.

Closing the file, Kai set it back where it was, staring at it thoughtfully.

"What are you doing here? I gave you what you wanted! I told you what you needed to know! What more do you want from me?"

There was no doubt in Kai's mind that Takenouchi had had dealings with the White Tigers. But, if that was so obvious, then why was the Agency not pursuing the lead? Why would Yuki not correct whoever had written up the case?

Her smile was fake and strained, her eyes holding the man beside her in contempt.

Chyou did not care for old Takenouchi, that had been rather obvious, but would she go so far as contacting the White Tigers and paying them to kill her husband? Were the White Tigers truly a group of assassins instead of the terrorists that the Agency believed them to be? It would explain the supposed random attacks. If they were being hired to kill people, then…

But if it was so easy to figure out, then why was the Agency still confused after nineteen years? And why would Yuki sign off on a case that was wrong? Unless he was covering for the White Tigers… Mizuhara had mentioned that Yuki Erii and Takenouchi Chyou were acquaintances, and that would explain Chyou's immunity toward being a suspect.

Kai dropped his head into his hands, chiding himself quietly. He was reading too far into it. Whoever had written up the case had obviously been given the wrong information and Yuki Erii was simply too busy to read over the lesser files, signing instead without a second thought. If things were as obvious as he was making them out to be, then others would have raised cane over Yuki Erii as Director already.

I'm just paranoid…

"Here's your coffee." Takao stood over Kai with a concerned expression, frowning when Kai wearily took the foam cup from him. "You okay? You look a little pale. Maybe you should go home."

Kai shook his head and turned back to the papers he was supposed to be working on. "I'm fine."

Takao bit his lower lip thoughfully, but went back to his desk anyway.

"Well… if you say so…"

-----

It was late. The sidewalk was mostly empty, aside from stray cats skirting from one side of the street to the other. Kai had never considered the bus stop as being far from his apartment, but with the lack of sleep hanging over him, he wished he lived closer to it. The residential area was quiet and dark, with the occasional streetlamp at the corners.

Kai had spent most of the night still worrying about that case, even though he tried to concentrate on other things. There was something about it that just unnerved him.

With a sigh, Kai leaned against the wooden fence next to the sidewalk, taking the moment to clear his mind. It hurt enough keeping his eyes open, more so to think so deeply about something that was, most likely, irrelevant. He lifted his hands into the air and stretched onto the tip of his toes, his tired muscles protesting.

Protesting so much that his left leg suddenly stopped working in a moment of exhaustion, and he collapsed to the ground with a startled cry. Kai broke his fall with his hands and opened his mouth to curse that tricky limb, but he realized that alarms were going off in his head (his lack of sleep slowing his processors down) and he lifted a hand to his head, running it through his hair. He knew he had felt something…

Kai stood up, hand still in his hair and turned to the fence, immediately jumping away from it in shock. Right where his head had been, a very dangerous looking knife was stuck in the wood. It must have just barely missed him, only because of that unexpected fall.

With a quick spin on his heel, Kai was searching the darkened streets and houses, his heart racing. All the shadows seemed to be moving and Kai felt adrenaline bursts every time he thought he saw something. He took a step back toward the fence, wanting to feel its comforting presence behind him. Of course, there could always be someone hiding on the other side of it… Kai shivered at the thought.

Then, at the end of the street, there was movement. A darkened figure stood at the edge of the light of the streetlamp. With the shadows surrounding him, Kai couldn't make out his features, but his broad shape certainly appeared threatening and Kai could feel the weight of the man's gaze. Then, the figure disappeared into the shadows and was gone.

There was a light creak behind Kai, making him twist around. The knife was gone from the fence. So there was someone behind me. Kai's breath hitched at the thought.

It was a warning…

-----

Lai wasn't the type to wait patiently. He respected those that had authority over him, and did not begrudge them that power, for, in the White Tiger clan, power came with experience. The Elders knew what was best because they were smart, especially Yen. Yen, above all others, was the reason the White Tigers were even in existence, and that, in itself, demanded respect.

However, Lai wasn't the type to wait patiently.

Despite the lack of information filtering from their superiors, Lai and the others knew full well what had happened at Takenouchi's that night. Rei and Lai were best friends, so naturally Rei would tell him all the things that best friends share with each other. Therefore, everyone knew there was an Agent Hiwatari and that he had been the one to hurt Kiki.

Yet, there was no order to get rid of this Hiwatari. Which, while not totally unnatural because sometimes it did take a while to come up with a nicely set plan, angered Lai for Rei had told him that Erii and Yen were hardly mentioning the event. Lai knew that they did what was best for the group as a whole, but surely they meant to make Hiwatari pay for what he did to Kiki.

So Lai waited for the order, and continued to wait for four weeks. He went by to see his still disoriented friend every day that he waited, feeling guilty that the newly trained boy had been sent out instead of someone with fighting experience. The doctor for the White Tigers said that Kiki had a concussion, said that his brain was swelling and bruised – Lai tried not to think about it.

Lai really, truly wasn't the type to wait for so long. He understood necessary planning for getting rid of someone like Takenouchi, but Agent Hiwatari hardly demanded four weeks of preparation. Rei had told him that Erii said they removed the escorts for Hiwatari and his partner after two weeks, but still they had been given no orders. Lai couldn't take it anymore. He hated to take action without a command, as that showed disrespect, but Hiwatari had to pay.

So Lai stood in the shadows and watched as Hiwatari stepped off the bus and began to trudge toward his apartment. Lai followed him, smirking at how foolish the agent was. Did he really believe that the White Tigers would let him go? Lai watched as Hiwatari stopped to take a brief rest and chuckled quietly to himself. The agent was making this so easy…

A sharp, but quiet curse flew from Lai's mouth as he watched Hiwatari fall to the ground right before his knife made contact. After fighting against Kiki, Lai thought the man at least had balance. Falling down like that! It wasn't like he was ice skating.

Ah, but he noticed the knife now, he is afraid. Lai frowned when the agent seemed to control his fear while he looked around. Lai craved that expression of terror on his victim's face, and that damn Hiwatari was taking that away from him. What a jerk.

Lai removed the sword hanging at his waist, noticing that Hiwatari's hand instinctively went to his side where his gun was. No problem, if Hiwatari couldn't follow him in the shadows. Agents truly were untrained fools.

Lai took a step toward the streetlight, fully intent on standing underneath it to let Hiwatari get a good look at him. Hiwatari saw him, Lai noticed with a sneer.

A quick flash, the kind that came from the reflection of light against metal, appeared and disappeared over Hiwatari's head. Lai stopped walking, now only standing at the edge of the circle of light and peered past Hiwatari.

Rei stared back at him, balancing effortlessly on the edge of the fence right above Hiwatari. His sword was drawn as well, but his attention was hardly on the agent standing barely a meter away from him. His piercing gaze was on Lai, and his steady position on the fence was one of defense. Lai swallowed the lump in his throat and backed away from the light into the shadows, watching as Rei grabbed his knife still stuck in the fence, and disappeared from behind Hiwatari without a sound.

Lai watched Hiwatari a moment more, watched until the agent hurriedly continued his trip to his apartment. Only when Hiwatari was out of sight did Lai make to return to his own home. He moved through the shadows quickly, both angered and hurt that Rei had stopped him, but curious as to why all the same.

Lai unexpectedly found himself forcibly thrown against the wall of the nearest house. There was only one person who could get past him without him having the slightest clue he was even there, and Lai turned to face Rei with an expression of confusion. He was met, though, with his own knife as it stabbed into the wall right beside his face, cutting his cheek along the way.

Rei's expression was one of cold anger, the most dangerous in its calm, collected way.

"Rei-dàren…!" Lai gasped, baffled by his friends behavior. "What are-"

"There was no order from Shèng-Yen," Rei stated in an emotionless tone.

Lai would have blushed in embarrassment if he wasn't so afraid. When Rei was in this sort of mood, he was dangerous. "I-I know, but that agent – Ah!"

Rei slid his long fingernails through the cut on Lai's cheek, holding Lai's gaze with his own. "You will not attack Hiwatari-jūn without an order," he said in a way that offered death to any objection, excuse, or even agreement.

Lai remained obediently quiet as Rei flicked the small droplets of blood of his fingers and then disappeared into the dark of the night, his skills for such things far superior to Lai's. Lai leaned against the wall for a while, the wound on his cheek throbbing with pain and his heart thumping loudly even after Rei's departure. Did Rei-dàren just refer to Hiwatari as… a friend?

Yen and Jie had trained Rei to be the best; Lai just wasn't sure that had been a good idea.

November 13, 1985

"Meow."

Kai smiled at the feline walking toward him on the railing, tipping its head to press the space between its ears against his arm and then lifting it again to touch the same spot with its nose. Kai reached out and gently stroked it, enticing it to purr and lift into his touch as his hand ran down its back.

It was a fat cat, not from eating the numerous birds and mice that inhabited the surrounding area of its home (although it would occasionally sniff at the weak or already dying ones if it so felt like it), but from the constant supply of cat food tumbling out of the plastic feeder in the kitchen. Its long fur made it seem fatter, Kai noticed with a soft, childish giggle, but the fur was smooth and nice to touch.

The fat cat was soon joined by another that managed to look just as fat even with its short hair. Kai pet each with one hand, though they meowed for more. They soon turned to rubbing against his body, and if he paused for a second they would force their head under his hands and move forward so that they kind of pet themselves using him.

Another cat jumped from the porch above, joining them on the steps. It, too, meowed for attention, creating havoc as Kai only had two hands to start with. He giggled again as they crawled all over him, competing against one another. He laid back against the stairs behind him and allowed them to walk onto his stomach.

It tickled, though, and he gave a sharp laugh before quickly covering his mouth and glancing cautiously toward the door. The cats were still tickling him, but he muffled his laughs not only with his hands but with his fear. Had she heard…?

Finally deciding he was still okay, Kai sat back up, forcing the cats to slide off of him. They were cute, sitting at his feet and meowing, looking at him with round yellow and green eyes. He started to pet them again, a fond sort of smile crossing his features. Fat or not, they really were beautiful.

But a hand grabbed the back of his shirt collar, and yanked him to his feet, causing all the cats to dart to a safe distance at the sudden motion, where they watched as Kai's aunt hauled him inside the house, her hand twisting into a fist around his shirt.

"What have I told you about bothering my cats," she cried, jerking him down a hallway. "Don't touch them! You don't know how to treat them, you insolent little brat! You'll end up killing them, too!"

"I'm sorry!" Kai cried, fear clenching at his chest. He knew where he was going, and he wanted to fight to keep from going there, but he had learned early on that fighting only made things worse. "I didn't mean to hurt them! I'm sorry!"

"You didn't mean to hurt them-!" his aunt mocked, throwing him through the doorway into the bedroom. She pulled a set of keys from her pocket and glared intensely at him. "You hurt everything you touch!"

The door was opened, the darkness within threatening him. His aunt turned to him, grabbing him by the collar and jerking him forward, his face a hair's breath away from hers. "One of these days, you'll get what's coming to you!"

She threw him in the closet.