DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS! HOWEVER..... I DO OWN THE NAME 'MIDGET' hehehehe, lol. All reviews are welcome. Sleep tight and don't let the Harry bite..........

Harry Potter And The Midget Voldemort.

"LET'S FIGHT!!!" sneered Harry Potter.

"Waaaaaah!!" cried Voldemort, "L-leave me alone! I'm just an ickle baby."

Harry drew a knife out, "I'm going to play bull-eye's on you!!! HAHAHAHA. I'm gonna aim between your eyes! 3....2....1 GO!"

The knife went whizzing through the air.

"OUCH!" cried Voldemort, "Thank God that it only went inside my mouth! Neh neh neh neh! You missed my eyes!" Voldemort taunted.

"Not enough pain, huh? Huh? HUHHHHH?" Harry smirked.

Harry drew out a chainsaw. "Let's play a magic trick? How about 'Saw The Midget In Half? This is called 'The England Chainsaw Massacre!!"

"GO CHAINSAW!!!! LET IT RIP!!!"

The chainsaw violently ripped Voldemort in half then in quarters then in eighths..... until only his head was left. His innards flew into the air one by one, which Harry caught with his mouth.

"YUMMY! CHOMP CHOMP! It tastes just like midget sasauges!" Harry screamed with delight.

"Neh neh neh neh neh!" Voldemort taunted with his head rolling on the ground. "Your aim is getting better.... but I'm still alive, HAH!

"Okay then," Harry said, "Let's play the 'Human Basketball!"

"Yay!" cried Voldemort. "That sounds like a lot of fun!" Voldemort yelled, who was clearly off his head..... well, literally he was.

"MICKEY JORDY, COME AND PLAY BASKETBALL!!!!!!" Harry screamed.

Out of nowhere, Micky Jordy appeared, "I'M RARING TO GO!" he screamed beating his fists on his chests.

"YA-YEEEEEEEE-AHHHHHHH!" Mickey Jordy did his best imitation of Tarzan.

(Commentary from Harry Potter:)

"AND THEN MICKEY JORDY RUNS DOWN THE COURT WITH MIDGET VOLDEMORT'S HEAD, HE IS SQUEEZING HIS HEAD AND HIS EYES ARE STARTING TO POP OUT!!!!!!!!! MICKEY JORDY IS SMASHING MIDGET'S HEAD REPEATEDLY, AND JORDY IS AIMING FOR A TRIPLE SLAM DUNK!!!! HE IS BOUNCING HIS SOCKS OFF........... SLAAAMM!!!!!!!!!"

"Oops, midget Voldemort's head is a gonner, it smashed on the court like watermelon. Oh well. There is a bigger worry for our star player: Mickey Jordy! WHAT BALL IS HE GONNA PLAY WITH NOW???!!!"

"Awwww. this is boring." Mickey Jordy moaned, "Can I commit suicide now?"

"GO AHEAD!" screamed Harry. The night was getting better and better for Harry Potter.

And then, Mickey Jordy did a run-up on a 20 storey building and simply jumped off.

"YEEEEE-HAAAAH! THIS IS WONDERF-" Those were Micky Jordy's last unfinished words.

Harry Potter was all very lonely now with no-one to play with. "Awww.... this sucks." said Harry, "Who can I play with now?"

Then Hermoine walked into the room.

Harry locked the doors and got ready for more bloody action.

"Hey Harry, what are you doing?"