AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. This is my first fanfiction, and the reviews have been so encouraging!
UnforgottenThere was a short, but eternal, silence in Briefing Room 4. Slowly, as if previously choreographed, every eye in the room ended up on Seven. Her eyes darted from face to face. Chakotay took her hand, noting that she looked lost, and a little unsure of what would happen next. This time, she did not withdraw it.
"Annika," Admiral Paris said, "open the channel." A commander sitting next to Paris made a move as if to protest his order, but checked it almost immediately.
"Seven of Nine to Borg sphere," her voice trembled ever so slightly. Chakotay stared at her. She had not used that appellation in reference to herself in quite some time; although, Voyager's crew still called her Seven. Old habits die hard, he thought, but still wondered why she had chosen to use that name now.
"Annika?" came a voice, filled with delight. Seven paled. Chakotay shot a look at her.
"Axum?" she replied in wondering disbelief.
"Borg sphere, this is Admiral Owen Paris. Identify yourself," Admiral Paris interrupted. Axum's voice grew much more formal.
"This is Captain Axum Kelreth,of the independent vessel Freewill."
"Please explain why you are traveling in a Borg vessel," Paris demanded.
"Admiral, this is no longer a Borg vessel. We have...appropriated it." There was a pause before his last phrase, which dripped with irony. Chakotay could not help but smile.
"You will understand, Captain, our caution, given the havoc the Borg have wreaked in this sector in the past," Paris said, in a somewhat friendlier tone. "We will need to converse further before you will be cleared to proceed. Please remain on board your vessel, until we have come to a decision."
"I do understand, Admiral. I assure you that we are of no threat to the Federation, and may even be able to offer some intelligence. If my arrival at Earth is to be delayed, might I at least be able to speak with Annika privately?"
"We will secure a channel for you. Please standby. Paris out." The admiral replied. When the audio channel closed, Commander Montgomery protested. "If what Kelreth says is true," Paris said, speaking over Montgomery, "then he can give us very valuable information. And if he really wants to leave Deep Space Six, he probably could without much damage to his vessel, and significant damage to anything we might throw at him. He'll be given the benefit of the doubt. But he'll be closely watched, rest assured." He then turned to Seven.
"We'll set up a secure channel in Briefing Room 3," Paris told her. "I trust that nothing subversive will take place." It was a not-so-subtle warning.
"Certainly not, Admiral. Axum and I are friends." There was an odd enough inflection in her last word to make Chakotay glance at her strangely.
As the people filtered out of the room, Chakotay and Seven wandered into the hallway, and stood for a few moments in between Briefing Rooms 3 and 4. They looked more like two total strangers than a married couple.
"Ani..." Chakotay began in a strained voice.
"Please don't," Seven's voice was a weary plea.
"I don't want to leave it this way," he was calm, as if he knew the inevitable end.
"You just want to absolve yourself of your guilt," Seven replied astutely. "This is not to make me feel better; it is to make you feel better." She stopped for a moment, and changed tack. "Would you have ever told me? About her?"
"Ani, I did not know about Kaya until shortly before you did. Apparently, Kathryn went to great lengths to keep it from me."
"I was not talking about Kaya. I was talking about the admiral. Would you have ever told me?" Chakotay was silent, and Seven had her answer.
"I am not sure which is the greater betrayal: your sleeping with her, or her sleeping with you." A note of bitterness tinged her voice as she thought about her husband and her mentor. "I do realize that you never loved me, that our relationship was lies compounded on lies. Unfortunately that does not make it any easier to..."
A young ensign came out of the briefing room then, to tell her that the link had been established, and cut off what she had been about to say.
"It does not matter anyway," she finished. "Do you really think I could cohabit with you, eat beside you, lie next to you, knowing, knowing the whole time that you have always wished I was someone else?" Chakotay could not respond, taking all of her pain and feeling of betrayal on his head; he had no excuse. "Besides, she gave you what I never could, what you wanted more than anything...Kaya."
Chakotay's features became agonized at her last words. "Ani, don't think that-"
"Don't think what, Chakotay? Don't think that you did not resent me? Don't think that you regretted marrying me every day? At least, now there is someone here who.." She stopped abruptly, her cheeks stained pink.
"Someone? Who? Axum?" Chakotay asked, his voice rising. "Are you in love with him?" He realized that he had no right to ask that in that tone of voice. Seven put his sentiment into words.
"You lost the right to be involved in my life at the Voyager reunion 6 years ago. I just did not know it until now." Her words were ice cold. "Good-bye, Chakotay. I am sorry that you felt I was not enough." She crossed the hall to the briefing room, and entered.
She did not look back.
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Kathryn strode up the hospital hallway, having gone home for a few hours for a shower and a nap, at the EMH's insistence. He had come to see Kaya, and immediately demanded that she take better care of herself. She had agreed, mainly to stop the lecturing.
She peered in the waiting area, which was empty. She knew B'Elanna and Tom would be present during Kaya's surgery tomorrow, so she guessed that they had also gone home to rest. She stopped short as she entered A-17, which was dim and hushed during Gamma shift, and saw a dark form hunched over Kaya's bed.
She made a movement forward in alarm, but stopped when she realized who it was. It was Chakotay, and he was talking in a low, broken, earnest voice. This was someone she did not know: a guilty Chakotay, full of regret over a situation mishandled that caught innocent people in its crossfire. The readouts over Kaya's biobed showed that she was sleeping. But she should have known that Chakotay wasn't actually talking to anybody. This was something deeper than conversation; it was an attempt at absolution. Kathryn wavered at the edge of the divider between her daughter's bed and the door, unsure of whether to announce her presence or not, or just leave.
"-arrior became restless and weak and apathetic. He convinced himself that the woman warrior did not care for him, and, even though that was not a condition of his promise to her, he released himself from his own vow. He left her alone, and because he acted without honor, he proceeded to hurt everyone he loved, and break everything he touched. The woman warrior gave birth to the child of the angry warrior, but did not tell him, because she thought she would ruin his life. Even though his life was already ruined by his own hand. His daughter was a dark-haired angel, and he loved her without knowing it. When he saw her finally, she had been hurt and broken, and he made a new vow. Love washed over him like the raging of a waterfall, and he vowed that, once she had been restored to health, that he – that he- he w-would-" His voice cracked then, and his head dropped into his hands. Kathryn stood motionless, tears standing in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks.
"Kaya, I am so sorry. I hope one day you know how much I love you, and how much I wanted you, and how sorry I am that I haven't been around. There is so much I would love to show you and teach you." He sighed deeply. "Kathryn," he said, and Kathryn jumped at her name, before she realized that he was not really talking to her. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you insist on compounding our mistakes?" He was silent for a long time. "I guess it's too late now...no absolution." His cryptic comments caused Kathryn to wonder whether or not he could read her mind.
"Chakotay?" Kathryn finally ventured from the darkness by the door. He turned, and, although his face was obscured by shadows, she could feel his eyes burn into hers.
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"Annika! You're looking well," the handsome captain with the long sandy hair said with a smile.
"Thank you. You are looking well yourself. It is quite surprising to see you here." Seven said, with her typical forthrightness.
"Meaning 'what am I doing here?', right, Ani?" He laughed, and then noticed the wince that his nickname caused. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No, Axum, it's just that – no. Tell me how you and your vessel came to be in the Alpha Quadrant."
"A few of the drones in Unimatrix Zero were able to initiate commands enabling them to take over their ships, before the Queen shut down the virus. There were 4 other ships, but the Queen destroyed them all. We managed to escape, and made our way to a long-abandoned transwarp conduit, virtually ignored by the collective. It was unmanned, and we came out in the Alpha Quadrant. It was not long before the Federation had taken notice."
"Surely you knew they would."
"Of course, which is why I'm able to accept the distrust for now. Besides, it helps that I get to see you. I have been looking forward to this for a very, very long time." The meaning in his voice was unmistakable, and Seven felt herself flush. He looked at her for a moment, as if trying to gauge her mood, and then said, "I'd like to see Captain Janeway, and thank her for all she did. If it weren't for her, the Freewill wouldn't even be here."
Seven had to acknowledge the truth in his statement, but something of her feelings toward Kathryn Janeway must have shown in her face, because Axum paused.
"Is something wrong?" He asked. "Am I making you feel – do you – are-"He stopped, and finally hit on the right track. "Are you with someone?"
"Actually, Axum, I am married. To Chakotay, formerly commander on Voyager." Seven could not understand why she felt embarrassed to tell him this, like she had been caught doing something wrong.
"The first officer?" Axum said slowly. "I see. Well, he seems like a good enough man. I'm glad for you." His voice had a forced brightness. "I guess... I – you won't want me looking you up when we get to Earth?" His sentence was half-statement, half-question.
"Of course I do. You are my friend, and one of the few people who can understand what I have experienced. There are some things I need to ... discuss with my husband first." She appeared to be half-talking to herself. Then she allowed herself to look directly at him for a long moment. "Axum, I am glad you are here."
She walked out of the briefing room when she had concluded her conversation with her former lover, and wandered around for awhile until she found a computer kiosk that was not in use.
"Computer," she said matter-of-factly, "this is Annika Hansen, initialize Federation Legal Database, personal access code zero three two epsilon seven. Initiate divorce proceedings."
TBC