Chapter 18- Confusing Events

Legolas sat at the morning meal the next day, not very talkative and rather tired after the past few weeks of little sleep and then last night after his multiple dreams about the elleth who he had met out on the balcony. He sighed heavily over his tea cup and took a long sip, hearing foot steps enter from behind him. Turning, he saw Elrohir stumbling into the dining hall in front of his brother, who had obviously pushed him in and was now smiling smugly. Legolas shook his head and turned back to his tea. He did not think those brothers would ever grow up.

They found seats in front of him, and Elladan looked Legolas over. "Mellon, where were you last eve? We looked all over for you."

"I could not stay." Legolas replied, "I had too much on my mind."

Elrohir took a bite of a red fruit and swallowed it quickly, "What could you have to think about, mellon? Running a city is not hard to do."

"That was not what I had on my mind." Legolas retorted and drank the rest of his tea.

"Then it must be about an elleth." Elrohir chuckled, pouring some wine instead of the usual morning tea.

Legolas looked at him skeptically. "You are starting awfully early this morn, Elrohir."

"He is trying to lessen the affects of last night." Elladan laughed. "But he does make a good point. It must be about an elleth."

Legolas rested his head in his hands and let out another long sigh. That was all he did any more. Sit around, dream and sigh wistfully. It was slowly driving the people around him crazy, just as it was to him. "I guess you could say that."

Elrohir smiled, "I knew it!"

Elladan shook his head and smiled, "So do we know her?"

"Well, it is not particularly about one person." He replied, "It is more about marriage in general."

"Do not do it if you have a choice." Elladan said firmly.

"Oh yes, Brother, Eruanne will be the first to hear of this." Elrohir smirked.

"Do it and you will find your boots filled with thousands of poisonous spiders." Elladan glared at his twin. "And I did not mean it in such a way. Married life is one of the best things in the world... but the nagging. Sweet Elbereth, the nagging. 'When will you be back this eve?' 'When are we going to get around to having children?' Every single moment!"

Legolas laughed at Elladan's over-dramatics. He had never imagined Elladan to be so vocal about such an issue. He was usually the quiet and reserved of the two twins- the leader. "But that is just it, I do wish to start a family. And I would answer to anything my wife requested of me. That is where I am at."

Elrohir chuckled, "Mellon, I never thought I would hear those words come from your mouth. Elladan, can you believe our friend is actually wishing to settle down?"

"I have been wishing this for twelve years, Elrohir." Legolas replied, "I had even resigned myself to marrying Princess Lóme of Lindon under the betrothal our parents set forth."

They both recoiled in fear and looked at each other. Elladan grimaced and blinked his eyes a few times. "Lóme? That statue of ice? We have met her many times before, and I take pity on those who must try to woo her. Adar almost thought he should talk one of us into binding with her a long time ago. So Círdan passed her off to you?"

"No." Legolas said, "My father thought it would be in Mirkwood's best interest that we were to bind. But she bound with someone else before I returned from the war, so all is well."

"Except now you are without a love or elleth to be at your side." Elladan reminded him. "You should come to Imladris sometime, Legolas. There are many elleths from Lórien that did not wish to go West who have come to live there. My brother is a living testament to the beauties that now reside there."

Elrohir nodded his head. "Plenty of elleths to fill your bed."

"But I do not just wish to fill my bed!" Legolas exclaimed, "I wish for love."

"Then you are on your own, mellon." Elladan smiled.

Elrohir nodded his head, "Making any elleth spineless enough to accept marriage is as easy as getting a hobbit through Mordor unnoticed."

"Though, you could help me with something." Legolas calmed himself and looked between the brothers. "My friend Valandir found a lovely elleth yester eve that said she came with you, Elrohir? What is she called?"

The sly smile upon both brothers' faces frightened him a great deal, and the silence as they looked at him was deafening. Elrohir chuckled lightly and turned his attention to his plate while saying, "Did you ask for her name?"

"Aye, I did." Legolas replied. "She would not give me one."

Their smiled grew even more wicked and Elladan shrugged his shoulders, "If she did not wish to tell you, then we will not tell you."

"But you know who she is!" He said, pounding his fist on the table, causing a great deal of attention from others in the room to be thrown his way. Legolas took a deep breath and looked back at them. "Listen, there is something about her that I cannot place, and I think a name would help."

Elrohir shrugged his shoulders as well, "You will have to ask her yourself, Legolas."

As if on cue, they heard happy talking and laughing grow louder as a few elleths entered the room. Legolas turned and saw two silver-haired elleths, one of them the nameless one in which he sought more information on. She was wearing a rather revealing soft green gown, and his eyes, unfortunately, fell directly to her breasts that were rising and falling gently on her chest as she breathed and laughed. The other walked up to Elladan and rested her hand on his shoulder. In return, Elladan looked up at her expectantly and she then in return leaned down over him and gave him a light kiss. To have that in the morning...

Legolas looked to the other elleth who was busy surveying the fruits in front of her, while trying very hard not to glance repeatedly over at him, but it was not very clandestine about it. He was about to say hello when Elrohir spoke up, "Eruanne, your husband says you nag too much."

That earned Elladan a smack of his shoulder, but then Eruanne smiled broadly as Elladan smirked up at her, which earned him another kiss. Legolas would have to leave soon to keep from feeling unwell if the 'happy couple' did not stop this. His nameless elleth plucked a large apple from the fruit bowl and walked by Eruanne and Elladan, but Elrohir reached out to grab her arm. Elrohir spun her so that she was pinned against him, He looked up at her expectantly, "What, do I not receive a kiss as well?"

The elleth looked embarrassed, but recovered from her surprise quickly. "I have but to tell your sister of your inappropriate remarks and actions to her guests and you will be banished forever."

Elladan chuckled, "You know, you have got us figured out very well. Most anyone would have threatened 'The King' on us, but he does not frighten us. Our sister, however, does."

"That is just because you do not understand the way of the elleth mind, meleth." Eruanne laughed and sat down beside her husband.

The other elleth peeled Elrohir's arm from her, but bent down and gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek instead, "Thank you for being my escort yester eve, my lord."

"It was thoroughly me pleasure." He chuckled and pushed her away.

The elleth started to head for the nearest exit, but Eruanne called for her, "Will you not stay, Emlin?"

Legolas felt the beating of his heart stop completely and a veil of ice extend across his skin. He was literally frozen into place at the sound of her name. That elleth was Emlin? There was no way that elleth could have been Emlin! She was too tall. Her figure was more feminine; her facial features more angular and free of youngling plumpness. Her hair was longer and a slightly darker golden brown. Even her voice was different. It did not have the same high resonance to it. It was slightly lower and smoother than before. Her eyes, while the same color, held more wisdom in them. And the way she acted around people now! She was not as bashful as she had been. And what ever happened to her punishment? Why was she here alone and with Elrohir? There were just too many inconsistencies and questions. There was no way that could be Emlin now looking back at them.

But he turned and gazed at his now silenced friends, and knew otherwise. That elleth was Haldir's daughter. How could he have possibly done this two times? At least this time he was not facing Haldir when he did it. And at this time, the daughter was an adult in more ways than just physically. How must she feel? He had made a move on her again, not knowing who she was. Oh Elbereth! How must she feel to know that he could not recognize her at all?

Emlin smiled slightly, and fixed her gaze on Eruanne. "It would be a waste to sit inside during such a beautiful morning. Someone told me last eve that I had visit the gardens here."

Eruanne nodded her head and smiled, "If you have seen one flower, you have seen them all."

There was a choking sound coming from Elladan's throat as he looked at his wife, trying not laugh at the double entendre. Legolas shook his head and watched her leave the dining hall, still not believing it was Emlin. He gazed at his friends for a moment, "Thank you both, so much, for your help now that I have made a complete fool of myself again."

Elrohir smiled, "We are glad to be of service."

Legolas grumbled to himself and followed the path Emlin had taken. He walked towards the gardens and found her sitting on a finely carved stone bench, resting her chin on her knees as she ate and looked around at the springtime flowers. Emlin was there. It was hard to believe that after all these long years she was now in front of him. He could not begin to describe the return of feelings that came over him now that he knew it was her. All of those long nights he spent thinking about her, or the times he had spent with her, and the times he had often envisioned her kissing him, returned like a swift kick to his nether regions. No, he could not think like this. She would forever be too young for him, and she probably did not even care for him in that way. She could not have ever felt that way. She was too young.

But now she was so different...

He felt himself sigh, but in it he exhaled a low, "Aiwamin."

She looked back at him and sat up straighter. "Yes?"

Legolas closed the distance between them and stood over her, peering down into her eyes, unable to stop his hand from reaching our to caress her cheek. "You are so... different."

"This is what eleven years does when you are young, Legolas." Emlin replied, gazing back up at him, but letting her eyes drift shut as his fingers lazily traced across her chin. The feel of his bow-string callused finger tips was like soft powder puffs on her face, as though he was only hovering his fingers over her and not even touching. It felt so wonderful, though, to have him reach out like this.

"I feel so horrible, Emlin." Legolas spoke. "That I could not even recognize a friend."

She lifted her eyelids and gazed up at him, "I am only a friend?"

That seemed to catch him off guard, and she was glad for that. After the previous evening with what he had said to her about some elleth's attention he wish he could have, but could not because of 'so many reasons', she did not know what he would say in defense of that. It was obvious he did not recognize her, so was it meant that he had been talking about her for that part of their conversation? Emlin sighed. It was always nice to think that she was the mysterious elleth, especially since she had wondered for so long what his true feelings on the matter were, except that he was sufficiently besotted with her in Lórien, but she knew it probably could not be her that he wished for the attentions of.

He looked down at her, "Only friends."

That stung her quite a bit, particularly after what he had said. So she was not the elleth he had been talking about. Fine. That meant she could pay more attention to Valandir while he was still in Minas Tirith. Emlin smiled slightly to herself, remembering the rest of the evening with Legolas' advisor. Valandir was one of the sweetest, most caring elves she had ever met, but what made him doubly lethal was his sly smile and his flirtation tactics. It was almost as if she were some unknowing animal, and Valandir was conducting a hunt, carefully learning his subject before striking. Even though they had only just met, there was something that intrigued her about him... almost as much as Legolas did... and she was very glad that Valandir had intentions of pursuing her.

What would her father think? Oh, wait! She had nearly forgotten she would now be free to make her own decisions.

Legolas rested his hands on her cheeks, and looked down at her, but Emlin could no longer stand his hands upon her flesh and pushed them away. "I have not changed so much, mellon. I am hurt that you did not recognize me. That is why I would not tell you my name."

"As I agree you should have, and I do not know how I will make up for it, Emlin." Legolas replied.

Emlin stood up and faced him, "I know that you must forever be busy, but you never came to see me like you had promised."

He nodded his head and was quiet again. It was almost as if he had no intention of ever seeing her again from the look on his face, but now that he was presented with the situation, he could not lie or tell the truth. "Where are your parents? I have not seen them. And what of your punishment?"

"I am here, are I not?" She questioned, "So my punishment has been lifted, which is obviously of no concern to you."

Legolas began to say something in retort, but he stopped himself. "Your parents?"

"They are either resting or doing something else that I do not care to think about." Emlin replied lightly, walking away from him. "They did not head back to their sleeping room until pretty late last eve."

"How do you know?" He questioned.

"Because I saw them on my way back to my chambers." She answered.

Legolas looked at her oddly, "Chambers? Those apartments are usually reserved for the higher ranking guests and royal children when Aragorn and Arwen finally decide to have some."

Emlin scoffed and looked at him in disbelief for a few moments, "Thank you, your highness, for pointing that out to me. Perhaps I should be sleeping with the servants instead?"

"Emlin, I did not mean it like that." He said, grabbing her arm. She was walking so quickly when he stopped her, that she spun around and fell against is chest. He steadied her with his hands and gazed down at her. "I just find it odd that I was given one chamber and you were given more."

Emlin placed her hands on his chest and pushed away from him. "Maybe the King and Queen like me more than they do you."

Legolas rolled his eyes, "I am closer with both of them, especially Arwen. We have been friends since we were small elflings."

"But I think I can bet safely saying you never forgot what she looked like." She retorted.

"You do not realize how much you have changed!" He exclaimed.

"It is not as though I have been disfigured, Legolas!" She argued, walking quickly along the path.

"No, you indeed have not been disfigured." Legolas grabbed her arm again. "Would you please stop?!"

This time he held her firmly into place when she spun around to look at him. Emlin looked up at him, "Why should I stop for you, Legolas? You who is complaining about his accommodations and forgetting his friends?"

He gazed at her, his intense eyes boring into her, for a few brief seconds. "I never 'forgot' you Emlin. I only forgot how beautiful you were."

She could not read exactly what was going through his eyes, but she could feel her resolve for the situation crumbling away. "Flattery will not help your situa-." But her speech was cut off abruptly with the crushing of his lips over hers. Emlin felt a squeak rise in her throat as his lips massaged hers greedily and hungrily, and without care for her. His hands caressed up her neck and fluttered across her cheeks, only breaking for one moment to remove a piece of her loose hair that had gotten in the way of his ministrations.

Emlin felt her legs quickly turn to jelly, and her mind to mush as he did not show any sign of relenting. She had been kissed before, but never in this manner, and definitely never in such a way that it felt as if he needed more than what he was able to get with a simple kiss. Except this kiss was far from simple for her. Legolas had always held a special place in her heart, and she had definitely thought of him in the romantic sense when she had first met him, but over time she had grown out of that attraction to every ellon walking Middle-earth. With this embrace, he ignited something different inside of her, something that would never be fulfilled because he did not see her the same way. He had only just said that at the beginning of their conversation.

As soon as it had started, it seemed to end. He pulled away from her and placed a thumb over her lips, looking down at her, his chest heaving as he struggled to find his breath again. Emlin could barely see this through her eyes, her vision blurred from the swirling of the world around her caused by the contact of his soft lips against hers. Nor could she speak, her mind still dulled from the sensory overload he had caused her. All she could do was think about her absence of breath and how loud her blood was in her ears. She swore she could have almost heard her heart beating.

It was not such a horrible thing to feel like this and to have these impediments, though. It was actually quite a lovely sensation to be rendered so useless so easily and not meant in an ill manner.

That was until he stepped back from her, his eyes turning from pure passion to utter disbelief. Legolas swallowed hard, his breathing finally under control, and stared at her. He turned from her, "I am sorry Emlin."

Emlin nearly ran the few short steps to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry for what?"

"I should not have done that." He said quietly. "I let my urges and my need to silence you overtake me."

"You should not apologize, Legolas." Emlin said quietly.

He turned to her briefly, "Aye, I should. We can be nothing more than friends, Aiwamin. A kiss only complicates things between friends."

Emlin could feel her temper rising and balled her hands into fists. How could he just dismiss that as so? She knew she was probably the least experienced when it came to anything like reading the meaning of kisses or knowing exactly what went on behind closed doors between an elleth and ellon, but she knew that the embrace they had just shared was much more than a passing kiss. There had been something behind it that was not his need to silence her. In his eyes, she could see that he was lying to her, and that hurt her. He was outright lying to her face. Why did he need to push her aside in such a way?

"I should leave you, before I confuse you any more." Legolas remarked quietly and disappeared out of an opening in the shrubs.

Emlin watched the spot where he had vacated and let out an aggravated groan. "No, my lord, I believe it is you who is confused."

Legolas found himself breezing through the corridors, really not paying attention to the direction in which he was going. All he knew was that he had to get as far away from Emlin as he could. He could not be trusted at all if he could so easily let his restraint go. It was not as though he meant it in the innocent way he had said he had. Well, that had been the initial reason, but after a thought and his lips were touching hers, it was apparent that it was entirely his lust making him take action. Honestly, he had tried to stop himself once he realized what he was doing, but it was just so wonderful to feel her lips against his... lips that were not completely lacking skill. Oh how her soft lips felt against his, the taste of the sweet apple mingling and staying in his mouth...

He had to stop thinking like this! It would only lead to other problems to which he did not have an outlet besides his own, unsatisfying touch.

And he did not even know if it felt so wonderful because it was Emlin he was kissing or because he was finally able to passionately kiss an elleth. For all he knew, any elleth could have given him that and he would have been sated. He almost wished that it was just the need for the touch of an elleth that made him continue. Though, there was a voice in the back of his mind telling him, that for all of his wishing and disbelieving, there was a element with Emlin he had not encountered before.

He grumbled to himself. Why did he have to go and kiss her! Sometimes he wished for his father's steadfastness to any idea, Elrond's wisdom about life and even for Haldir's self-restraint that had sufficed as a valuable tool to guide himself and his wardens. Oh Elbereth, now he was wishing he had qualities like Haldir... What would Haldir think if he knew what had just happened in the quiet and peace of the green maze of the Citadel? That thought made Legolas shiver involuntarily. Legolas knew that had Emlin been his own daughter he would string any suitor she had up by their scrotum if they treated her in such a way, but he was sure that Haldir could think of a hundred more ways equally as horrible or possibly even worse to deal with those who acted inappropriately and specifically to his daughter.

But she had wanted it! She had let him kiss her, and even in the end had started to kiss him back!

This was wrong. Legolas found himself chastising his actions again. She was still young and not befitting of a proper age for him to marry. She would never be of fit age for him. He was far older than she. And if that was not enough reason, he still held the incident with Haldir so many years ago close in his mind and thought of it every time he had been reminded of Emlin these past years. That had originally been enough to keep him from becoming overly obsessed with the thought of her. But he knew there was no chance of that now.

Maybe that was it. Maybe he was only in love with the thought of Emlin and the pedestal he had put her on. When he looked at other elleths, he always thought of her, as if in some fantasy he would one day be together with her and he would wed her and she would bear him children. It was preposterous to think that with the looming threat of Haldir, but it was true. It was not until now, though, that Legolas realized that had been exactly what he was doing all these long years with her absence from his life. And that was why he had never felt satisfied with other elleths when it came to his undeniable need for marriage that had surfaced ten years ago.

He had always wanted Emlin, but knew he could not have her, and he must have thought- in the back of his mind, anyway- that he would rather be without anyone for the whole of his life if he could not have her. Legolas sighed heavily to himself as he walked into his chamber and shut the door. And that was the way he would remain. Alone and without the love of the only elleth he had ever wished it from.

Sometimes he just hated his lustful urges, and even more so disliked his loyalty to his friends, and then above all other abhorrence, his completely unneeded and useless worrying he always found himself embattled with about 'acting correctly'. Things would have been much easier for him to understand had he not been weighted down with these three very different and conflicting traits.

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Mellon- Friend

Aiwamin- My little bird

Meleth- love

Adar- Father