Pain, Hurt, and…Love?
Chapter eleven
Why Hermione why??
Hermione woke to find herself in an unfamiliar place. She soon realized that she was still in Draco's room. All of what happened the other day hit Hermione. Draco and her were in danger. And no matter what she said, she couldn't deny that she wanted to be watched. She didn't want to be hurt. She squeezed Draco tightly, he squeezed right back. She looked up to see a pair of silver eyes, bloodshot silver eyes looking at her.
"Hermione…" He croaked out. Hermione put a finger to his lips.
"It's okay Draco. It's okay." Hermione imagined that she looked much like Draco, probably worse.
"I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to get you into this. I didn't intend for all of this to happen. I thought that I would help you and make you go away. But I couldn't, I couldn't let you out of my life. You had become something in my life that I just couldn't let go." He looked at her. He looked so sad. Hermione laid her head on his chest.
"I wouldn't change any of it Draco. I would have rather not been hurt but…but then I never would have met you. Well met the Draco Malfoy that you hide from everyone." Draco smiled and kissed the top of her head.
"For now Hermione it's best if we put on appearances. Make them believe that we hate each other." Hermione say up and looked at him. "I'm sorry Hermione. I don't want to do that, believe me I don't, but it's for the best." Hermione pouted slightly.
"I suppose…but…I don't want to…it's hard to go back to calling you that retched last name." Draco laughed.
"You had no problem with it before." Hermione just pouted more. Draco laughed and pulled her back down into a hug. "We should get going. We do have classes to get to." Hermione nodded and got up. She stretched and went to go and put on clean cloths when Draco wrapped an arm around her middle. "Leaving without a good-bye kiss? That's not very nice." Hermione turned around and looked at Draco. He had a pouty look on his face. Hermione giggled. He looked at her like he was going to pounce but instead he kissed her.
"Alright, you can go now." Hermione lifted an eyebrow and kissed him.
"No, now I can go." Hermione smiled. So did Draco. He knew that today was going to be a long and hard day.
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Hermione was on her way to breakfast, long lost in thoughts. She didn't notice who she would be walking into. Draco had left sometime before her, just so no one would suspect anything. Hermione, not looking where she was going, walked smack into Draco. She looked but about to apologize for it but when she saw who it was she turned her stare as icy as she could.
"Watch it m-mudblood." Draco sneered and hoped that no one noticed his stutter.
"Why don't you watch it Malfoy. I don't believe that I was in your way, I believe that you were in mine." Hermione glared at him. She tried her hardest to sound cold and mean…it was hard when you loved this person that you had to talk so coldly to. Draco just laughed and walked away. For that Hermione was thankful.
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"What was that about mate?" Blaise questioned.
"Nothing, just the stupid mudblood being an idiot. It seems to be the trend of her lately." He laughed a cold laugh. He hated calling Hermione mudblood. It seemed so foreign to him. He hadn't used that word in such a long time that he couldn't remember what it was like to call her that.
"Hey Hermione what was all that about?" Ron asked. Hermione just glared at him.
"It was nothing. Just the ferret being stupid. He is really mastering at that lately." She stormed into the Great Hall. She sat down forcefully at the Gryffindor table. She then glared at everyone as if daring them to say anything about anything, or question her. Everyone quickly went back to what ever it was that they were doing.
Hermione wasted no time in eating. She ate very little and then hurried off. She had to get her bag from the dormitory. She walked in and sat on the couch. She didn't know if she could take it. Draco calling her mudblood and her calling him Malfoy. It all seemed so odd. Just as she thought she was going to cry Draco walked in. Hermione saw him…Blaise was with him. Of course nothing can be easy. Hermione thought.
"What's the matter? Poor little mudblood finally crack?" Blaise sneered. Draco looked at her. His eyes said sorry but on his face was plastered a smirk.
"Don't worry yourself about her. Wait out side for me I shouldn't be to long." Draco winked at him, though there was no humor in his eyes.
Once Blaise was out, Draco came and sat next to her. "I'm sorry Hermione. I really am. I didn't plan on him coming. But he wouldn't leave me alone so I just brought him. I didn't…I didn't mean for that to happen." Hermione looked at him. She looked so sad. Draco felt his heart shatter. This was killing her, and him.
"I don't know if I can do this Draco. I don't think that I can pretend that everything is okay when it's not. I don't think that we should have to do this…I…I hate it!" Hermione cried out. Draco held her close.
"Shh…Hermione I know…I know…but it will be okay. You can do it. I know that you can." Hermione pulled away.
"Not like I have much choice." She seemed so distant and Draco was worried. "I don't want to do this. I don't. I don't see how you can just act like this is no big deal when really it is. I can't stand doing this but you go around acting so normal. Maybe…maybe we should just end it. Just call it a game and toss in the towel." Draco couldn't believe that she said that. She was ready to just call it a day and move on.
"How…how can you say that Hermione? After all of this, after everything that happened…and you just want to give up…just because things get tuff you are ready to give up!" Hermione stood up.
"I have to get to my classes. I will see you later Malfoy." Hermione's voice was cold. There was only anger and hurt in her voice.
"Hermione wait!! Come back! Please…" She didn't come back. She kept on walking right out the door and down the corridor to her first class. Draco never moved from his spot on the couch…he forgot all about Blaise.
"Hey mate what was that all about? That took a bit longer then you said." Blaise took one look at him. He looked like he didn't want to be bothered. "You want me to tell the professors that you aren't feeling well?" Draco merely nodded his head. Blaise walked out. Draco sat there…he couldn't believe it. Everything was over done.
Hermione.
That's all that he could think about yet at the same time the only thing that he didn't want to think about.
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Hermione walked out but she heard Draco calling to her. "Hermione wait!! Come back! Please…" But she didn't go back. She couldn't. She never went to her classes; no instead she went to the library and sat in there for hours. Never really reading the books but thinking all the time.
Was what she did the right thing? Was letting him go the best way to go about this? Hermione didn't know. All she knew was that she wanted Draco back, but she couldn't call him things and still be with him.
When all the classes were over and she could no longer sit in the library, she went back to the common room.
She saw him sitting there. It didn't look like he had moved much. He had leaned back into the couch and had a book in his hands but he wasn't reading it. His eyes were staring blankly at the book.
She came and sat next to him. She to opened a book, but unlike him she read hers.
Just as she was about to turn the page there was a knock on the common room door. When she went to open it none other then Pansy Parkinson was standing there. Hermione narrowed her eyes at her. "What do you want Parkinson?" Parkinson just smiled at her. But said nothing. She came right in and sat on Draco's lap. She kissed his cheek and sat back leaning against his chest.
Draco made no move to push her away, yet at the same time took no notice of her. Hermione was getting mad. What did she think that she was doing?
"Do you mind telling me what you want Parkinson? Obviously he doesn't want you around so why don't you get out?!" It was more a command then a question.
"No Granger I think that I like it right here. It's rather comfortable." Pansy smirked at her. Hermione's blood was boiling. Just then it was like Draco snapped out of a trance.
"Parkinson what are you doing? Get out!" Pansy seemed so startled that she jumped up right away, like his lap had suddenly turned to fire.
"But Drakie…why?"
"Because I said so! Out now!" Draco stood up. He looked furious. Pansy sulked her way out the door, throwing Hermione a dirty look. Hermione looked at Draco, Draco looked at Hermione. "You don't need to thank me. But you could have not let her in."
"Well I would have gladly but she pushed her way in and I didn't really have a say." Hermione snapped back. He sighed.
"Hermione I don't want to fight with you. I love you. And this is breaking my heart and I don't want to lose you. If I have to…I will…I don't know what I will do Hermione but I don't want this." Hermione looked at him. She could go back but that would only hurt her and him more.
"I'm sorry Draco but I can't. I can't sit here and honestly say that I am okay with all of this. I can't do it. And maybe when this is over we can be back together Draco. But now I can't. We would only be hurting each other and I don't want to hurt you Draco. I don't." Hermione was on her was to her room. She wouldn't be getting anything done tonight.
"But can't you see Hermione that this is hurting me! Losing you is hurting me more then anything. Hermione!" Draco sounded desperate.
"I'm sorry Draco. But I can't do it." She walked the rest of the way to her room and shut the door. She didn't slam it but it was enough. She was done with him. He would never move on from her. Never. She was everything in the world to him and this was killing him on the inside. Even if he didn't show it on the outside. He walked to her door. And just sat outside it. He touched the carpet and the door and the wall. He stood up and walked to his room. He looked around but didn't stay. He went back to the common room. He looked at the floor where they had laid so many times. He looked at her blanket. He smiled through his tears.
Hermione loved this blanket. She never slept without it. He grabbed it and held it to him. It smelled like her. He sat on the couch and threw the blanket on top of himself. He lay down on her couch and cried him self to sleep. Though he never cried, it was apparent that he couldn't take it, that all his pain and sorrow had finally gotten to him and he had to cry. The pain was over whelming.
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Much later Hermione came down looking for her blanket. She was greeted with a dying fire and a very unconscious Malfoy. He was wrapped up in her blanket and seemed to be clutching it like it was the last thing that he had to hold on to.
She couldn't take it away. He looked like he had been crying and she did love him, she really did. She missed him, and she had only been apart from him for a few hours. She lay next to him. Wanting nothing more then to dissolve into him. She pulled the blanket up to her neck and snuggled as close and as far as she dared to.
She cried silently. She didn't want to let him go but she had to. But now all she wanted was him back, but the question was would he forgive her for what she did? She would think about it in the morning. For now she would sleep and pretend that everything was okay.
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Draco felt something warm come and lay with him. He didn't know who it was but he didn't want it to go away. Whoever it was felt and smelled familiar. But it couldn't be who he thought that it was. Why would Hermione come and lay with him? He didn't want to think too much about it because then she might leave. He went back to sleep, a bit more peaceful then the first time.
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Hermione woke before Draco. For that she was glad. She then, as quietly as she could, got up and into a shower. A Saturday and Hermione had a lot to do. She had people to talk to, and she didn't want Draco to find out whom.
When Hermione was done and dressed she snuck quietly out of the common room. She would go to Hogsmead and from there she would apperate. She needed to have a little chat with Mr. Malfoy. She was not afraid, and she knew that she could take him. He wasn't the only one who had been studying the Dark Arts. No one knew about this, other then Snape. And he only knew because she had asked him for help. Yes she remembered that day…
"Professor? May I speak with you?" Snape looked up to see the top student asking to speak with him.
"I suppose Miss Granger. What is it that you want?" She seemed apprehensive about it. "Hurry it up Miss Granger. I do not have all day." She cleared her throat and asked him:
"Professor, I was wondering if you could teach me…teach me Dark Magic?" Hermione looked up to him and then down at the ground.
"And why do you want to learn this? It is dangerous and…" She cut him off.
"I know about all that Professor. Why I want to learn it is my own reasons." She seemed so final. Obviously she had thought this through. "I know the dangers and I am not afraid Professor. I do not wish to be treated as though I am a child." He smirked.
"I would be more then happy to teach you. Are you ready for the most intense learning that you have ever done?" Hermione nodded her head, a serious look on her face.
Hermione shuddered. She has many scars from those practices. She still does, just not as often. She has become so excelled at them that she has to be careful because she doesn't want to hurt her professor, though she did once.
By now she had reached Hogsmead. She was still a little nervous about facing Lucius but she would never let him know that. This would be pay back for her accident…that wasn't such an accident. This would be pay back for her having to crush Draco. This would be all her anger and frustrations let out. She knew that she could kill him, but what if it was an accident and she didn't really kill him. It would be nothing more then a suicide attempt.
Hermione apperated. She went up the walk of Malfoy manner and knocked on the door. Mrs. Malfoy showed up. She looked pale and jumpy. "Hermione! Oh thank Merlin it's just you!" Hermione wasn't sure what she meant by that but she ignored it.
"Mrs. Malfoy is your husband here?" Nacrissa looked at her oddly.
"No Hermione he isn't here. He won't be for a while…" Hermione smiled.
"May I come in Mrs. Malfoy?" Nacrissa looked at her most strangely but opened the door for her nonetheless. Hermione came in and sat on the couch. She would wait for Lucius. She didn't care, or think about the people at school who would worry about her whereabouts.
Hermione sat and waited for what had to have been hours when finally the front door opened, and who else would it be but Lucius Malfoy. She stood up, he looked her way. He sneered.
"Come for something Mudblood?" Hermione just smirked identical to his.
"As a matter of fact Lucius I have. Your torment over Draco is over. You are done. I won't let you hurt him any more! Him or anyone else for that matter!" She pulled her wand out. The doors burst open and Hermione smiled.
"Come now Lucius. Let's get this over with once and for all." Lucius shook his head and clapped his hands.
"Good show Granger, good show. But I don't duel with mudbloods. They have no chance against me. Besides you would just give up." Hermione was out raged.
"HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING FRIGHTENED OF THE LIKES OF YOU! I WOULD NEVER BE SCARED OF YOU!" Hermione lost it. She was furious. Winds whipped around them, lightning was everywhere. Lucius even looked slightly unnerved. Nacrissa walked up to Hermione's side. She too drew wand on Lucius.
"She's right Lucius. You are done. No more. I won't stand for it any more. To long did I sit by why you beat or yelled at Draco. I won't have it anymore. I won't!!" She to was getting mad. Hermione seemed to be feeding off the anger. She knew this could and would get ugly. But she didn't really care. She wanted to be done with Lucius once and for all. And nothing would get in her way this time.
Except…
"Hermione! No! Don't do it! I won't let you! Let me handle him." Hermione shook her head.
"I can't let you do that, not alone!" Hermione looked at the speaker, he looked at her. They smiled. "Then we'll do it together!" Draco yelled at Hermione over the winds. He walked to her side. I missed you Hermione." He kissed her.
"I missed you too. But now is not the time." Hermione turned back to Lucius. "What are you going to do now Lucius? Your whole family has turned against you! What are you going to do now!?" Hermione screamed over the roar of the wind and the clapping of thunder and lightening. Lucius drew his wand. Draco drew his.
Hermione, Draco, and Nacrissa all had their wands pointing at Lucius. He knew that he wouldn't win. But even if they succeeded in killing him, they would go to Azkaban for murder.
Hermione and Draco had other plans. Draco hexed him while Hermione thought of the Dark spell that would allow her to control the weather for a short period of time.
While Draco and Lucius threw curses back and forth Hermione was slowly reciting the spell from memory. Nacrissa knew what she was doing and stepped aside.
Draco used all the anger he could on his father. All the frustrations, everything that he did to Hermione. He knew that he had to pay for what he had done to everyone, that included himself.
Hermione built this storm off her anger…but what would really happen not even Hermione could know.
A.N.: So what did you think? I don't know…it was okay…I don't think that it was the best…it was long but yeah…let me know what you think! So review, review, review!!!!
~*DHL*~