YELLOW Bellied
The next morning, Shadow had the supplies packed and ready to go on the back of a chocobo named Hal. Terra was taking her chocobo, Ed, who she'd affectionately named after its donor. Duane had been expressing some concern about her going too, due to the fact that they might be defenseless against another attack. Terra told him that they had no reason to attack the town again, at least not until they had recovered from the last one. She reassured him that she would be home in at least two weeks, maybe longer, and she said that she felt partly responsible for Tasha's disappearance. Katarin told Terra she wanted her to stay home, but Terra refused.
"I have to go, Katarin," Terra explained. "I just have to."
"Don't tell me you're doing this for that stranger." Duane gave her an annoyed look.
"That's part of it, but Tasha is what's important for me at this point." Terra told him. "Don't worry, I'll be back as soon as possible." She kicked Ed into gear and she rode up the hill where Shadow was waiting. "Hold down the fort while I'm gone!" Terra called to them. They both waved.
"You better take care of Terra, dark man!" Duane yelled as they rode away. Shadow waved his arm once and kicked his bird into a gallop and Terra nudged hers to keep up. They ran through fields, over streams, and through some rolling hills until they stopped in front of Naga Forest. It was starting to get dark, and some thunderheads were making their presence known.
"I don't want to go through that forest in the dark," Shadow said. "Not on these yellow birds."
"Yeah," Terra said. "Let's make camp up on that hill." Terra pointed towards a rise a little ways off. "There's some natural shelter up there, a small alcove."
"Alright, lead the way." Shadow said. Terra nudged Ed to take the lead and ran up the small hill. Sure enough, there was a outcropping of stone that served as a roof. They attached their chocobos to a smaller rock that was underneath the outcrop.
"We need to make a fire before it starts raining." Shadow said. "I'll gather up some wood, you set up the camp."
With that Shadow was gone. Terra started to clean out an area to sleep, and an area to have the fire. She pondered the events from the night before. He's seems so distant. He's probably mad. Terra sighed inwardly, waiting anxiously for him to return. I need to talk to him...If I don't I think I'll go crazy.
Shadow picked his way through the forest, searching for relatively dry and termite-free wood for the fire. He was trying not to think; he wanted to avoid a confrontation with himself, as strange as that may sound. He wanted to tell Terra so many things. How can I tell her...She wouldn't understand. She just too naïve and...too innocent...She doesn't need me corrupting her. I would just ruin her purity. He shook his head angrily at himself. By this time he had collected ten medium-sized logs, and he started to head back to camp.
Terra heard the rustling and look up, reaching for her dagger in her boot. She was relieved to see it was Shadow returning from his task and her body finally relaxed. She had been so tense lately that she had many kinks throughout her body and she felt better whenever she was around Shadow.
"I was starting to worry Shadow." She said.
"Sorry, I was thinking about things." He apologized. He walked over and sat in front of the makeshift fire pit, and started to arrange the wood.
"Penny for your thoughts?" She asked. She watched him as he moved soundlessly around the camp, setting up his bedding and grabbing two pieces of flint.
"Maybe later, but right now I just want to get this fire started before it rains." As if on cue, Terra saw some raindrops land on the dirt, making it spotted. She could smell the ozone, and she inhaled deeply, trying to get all of it in.
"I love the smell of rain." She said, looking out from their shelter into the plains they had ridden across. "It seems like the whole world is cleaner after a rain shower." Shadow grunted in reply as he squatted in front of the logs he had arranged and began striking the two pieces of flint together. There were sparks, and within no time, there was smoke. Shadow blew on it to get it to rise in flame, and accidentally blew too hard. The smoke dissipated into the wet air.
"Dammit." He muttered under his breath. He was finally successful on the third try, and soon there was a blaze. He walked over to the chocobos and grabbed some food out of the saddlebags. He returned and sat next to Terra, prodding the fire with a stick. He glanced sideways at her, and then out to where she was gazing. "What's so interesting out there?" He asked, trying to break the silence.
"Look, the world's being renewed." She said distantly. "When Kefka destroyed everything, it hardly ever rained, and that's one of the reasons the world was dying. But now, it rains all the time, and I think the world is trying to renew itself." She looked away from the fields and towards the food, hearing her stomach growl. Apparently, Shadow heard it as well, and he laughed a little. "When's dinner?" She asked shyly.
"Soon, very soon." He said, still chuckling to himself. "Shadow...what happened, at the battle I mean, after the boys took me to the town hall?"
"I..." Shadow grimaced at the memory, trying to give himself the courage to go on. "I followed them, thinking that I would have the element of surprise on my side. But...that wasn't the way it worked out."
Flash
The smoke cleared for an instant, and Shadow thought that he saw his target just ahead of him with the little girl squirming in his arms. The man with scars on his face laughed once, then whirled to stare at Shadow. Caught by surprise, Shadow froze, unable to move. He saw the face of Tasha, tears streaming down her face, screams echoing in the darkness, though Shadow couldn't hear her screams because of the thundering of blood in his ears. The smog returned, and covered both parties in blackness once again. Shadow moved forward, hoping to get the man off guard by attacking so quickly, but he found himself being stabbed in the shoulder by a man holding a dirk. The man was ugly, with yellowed teeth that were bared in an evil smile. His body smelt of chocobo manure, and his hand had blood on it, Shadow's blood, as it plunged the small blade deeper into the shoulder of his victim.
With surprising strength, Shadow pushed him away, and the force of the knife leaving his shoulder burned like a wildfire that spread throughout his body in a wave of pain.
"Urgh..." Shadow dropped to his knees, holding his shoulder with his good hand. He looked up to see yet another bandit coming at him; this one hefted an axe aimed for Shadow's neck.
Flash
"Anyway, there were several more of them, and I was wounded, so I did my best to dodge my way through them and use the smoke to my advantage." Shadow explained in a monotone, though Terra could tell that his emotions were bubbling just below the surface. "I made my way to an area where there was no smoke, and I saw a caravan."
"A caravan?" Terra was confused.
"Yes, it was the caravan that I was originally assigned to protect, but all the adults that they took were dead, save a few of the women." Shadow looked into the fire, avoiding Terra's inquiring gaze. "I saw Maggie..."
"Oh, Shadow..." She gently laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "She was alive?"
"Yes, she was alive, but she looked like a ghost, just staring at nothing. She used to laugh and giggle and..." By this time, tears had begun to fall from Shadow's dark brown eyes. He angrily wiped them away, and continued with his story. "Tasha had been thrown in with the children, and they were already moving off."
Flash
Shadow crept up behind the moving caravan of cages as swiftly and deftly as he could with all of his various wounds. He ignored the pain as he broke into a full out run to get enough momentum to leap onto the top of the cages that were once used for transporting people to Mobliz. They were heading for Naga Forest, and this registered somewhere in Shadow's blurred conscience. Blood pounding in rage but not in fear, he jumped onto the head of the driver of the rearmost wagon full of prisoners. He crushed his skull with one strong blow to the cranium, and Shadow tossed the body over the side. He halted the chocobo that was pulling the carriage and jumped off the seat. He ran to the side of the carriage and tried to pry open the door, but his body was weak from the loss of blood. The red ooze was soaking his clothing around his shoulder and he could feel it creeping down through to his belt. With every yank and pull he could feel it being drained from his body and being soaked up by his ninja wrap.
He was hit over the head with the hilt of a sword, and Shadow's world went black.
Flash
Shadow paused for a moment.
"Well?" Terra knew there had to be more. "You were gone for a few days, and all that you've told me all happened in one night. Where were you? What happened?"
"I woke up with my mouth covered and my arms and legs bound, and my head hurt so bad that it made me dizzy to try to open my eyes and look around." Shadow rubbed the back of his skull with his hand and winced. "Still stings, but I've had worse. Anyway, my wounds had been bandaged, and I was really confused as to where I was for awhile."
Flash
Shadow opened his eyes, only to shut them again when he felt a sharp pain from the light and from his head injury. He could tell he was moving, but he was lying down, so he figured he was an uncovered wagon.
"'ey! 'e's awake!" The loud voice cut through Shadow's thoughts like a knife. He felt a rough hand grab the knot at the back of his mask. Shadow's head was jerked up fairly gently, but to him it felt as though his head was being ripped off.
"He's still alive, eh?" The deep, grumbling voice sounded distantly familiar to Shadow, like a voice from another life. Shadow opened one eye to see who this man was, and he saw the man with scars on his face staring at him as though he were under a microscope. "There ya are." His grin was cruel, and the glint in his ice-blue eyes sent chills down Shadow's spine. "How ya feeling, Clyde?" Shadow's body went rigid at the sound of his old name. "Whatsa matter? Ya don't recognize me, old buddy?" His smile widened. "Well, I've added a few scars to my collection, that maybe why you're having a tough time. Well, that and you're little knock to you're head!" He laughed loudly and let go of Shadow's head, letting it drop back down the rough wooden boards of the wagon. He went unconscious the moment he felt the pain flare up behind his eyes.
Flash
Shadow had left the part out about the man calling him Clyde, since he still didn't know if he should tell Terra about his old life, before he became Clyde's shadow.
"How did you get away?" Terra persisted, eager to know what happened to her friend. "Shadow?"
"Sorry, I was just trying to put the events in the right order." Shadow broke out of his short reverie and looked at Terra. "Pretty simply, actually, I overheard a bandit talking about where they were headed when I became conscience again and I used some of my Ninja techniques to free myself from my bindings."
"What about the people? What happened to them?"
"I left them behind, I ran away like a yellow bellied coward." Shadow grimaced. "I was too weak to do anything but save myself." His gaze returned to the fire.
"At least you know where they're headed, right?" Terra's hand still rested on his shoulder, her thumb caressing his wound a little bit. Neither of them really noticed it though.
"They're headed for cave near South Figaro. They're meeting one of their buyers there."
"Then we have to beat them there." The look in Terra's eyes was one of steely resolve. Shadow had only seen her like this once before.
Right before we fought Kefka. Terra has really changed since I first met her...
"Shadow? Why are you staring at me?" Terra inquired. "Are you OK?" Shadow blushed, and turned away so she couldn't see his red face. "Shadow, what is it?" She turned his face back to her with a gentle hand under his chin. He was afraid to look at her, but she wouldn't let him look anywhere but in her eyes. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Why?" Shadow breathed. "Why are you...?" Terra just stared back at him with kind sea green eyes. "Why are you so kind? Why are you so wonderful?" Surprised by his words, Terra pulled her hand away, blushing furiously.
"What do you mean?" She stood up and walked over to the edge of their shelter; the rain was really pouring, and Terra could hear the thunder off in the distance, the low rumble of the skies. Shadow was suddenly behind her with his hand on her shoulder and tears in his eyes. She turned to look up at him, surprise written all over face when she noticed his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm...I'm just a coward..." Shadow whispered. Terra shook her head and put her hand on his rough cheek, stroking his face and feeling the scruff of a three-day-old beard.
"No, Shadow," she said reassuringly. "No you're not a coward." He looked at her for what seemed like an eternity, and she could see the anger in his eyes. He turned violently away from her and stalked a few steps away and then whirled on her.
"What do you know!? You're Terra, brave Terra, who's never run away from a fight, always faced up to her fears. You fight for what you think is right, you fight to protect other people! And what am I compared to you? NOTHING! I'm a selfish bastard who does nothing but fend for himself! Why are you always trying to tell me what I am when you have no idea the hell you're talking about!?" Shadow's voice was low and threatening, and it frightened Terra, but she wasn't about to back down from him.
"I know what it's like to be a coward, Shadow! I hid from what I was for a year! I hated myself, I didn't want to be what I was. The only reason I stayed to help those children is because I didn't want to be alone. THAT was the ONLY reason! Not because I'm selfless, not because I'm brave, but because I was a selfish coward! It took me a failed fight with Phunbaba to realize that I had to fight to protect what I held most dear. Do don't tell ME that I don't know what it's like, because I do!" Terra tried to calm her anger, but she found it difficult to do so. Her stubbornness was preventing her from thinking logically. "I'm sorry that you've had a rough past, and I know that you have your reasons, no matter how ridiculous, for keeping it from me, but wallowing in self-pity will get you nowhere!"
"Self-pity? That's what you think this is?"
"What else could it be?" She was standing directly in front of him now, staring up into smoldering black eyes that glared back into her stormy sea green ones. "Why don't you stop running?"
"I have stop running!" Shadow exclaimed. "Why else would I still be here? I came back to help, why is that so hard for you to accept?"
"Because the only way to truly accept your past is to face it! The fact that you're afraid to tell me anything proves that you haven't faced anything!"
"You don't...you can't..." Lightning split the sky, but neither of them noticed. The firelight danced in Terra's eyes, and he felt a rising in his chest, though not from anger. "I...Terra..." Her eyes softened at his sad expression, and she drew him into her arms in a warm embrace. She felt his body shudder with sobs, and she felt the wetness of his tears against her neck. She said nothing save for some comforting words, and she stroked his soft black hair as she held him close.
When his sobs had subsided, they stayed embraced for a long while, and much was said even though neither of them spoke.