Harry Potter
what should have been
Part Dumbledore Dies
"Argh," said Dumbledore as he lay there, large pieces of his flesh being eaten by fanged red-eyed mountain lions "this isn't funny anymore."
Yes it is said Brittany, who was evidently watching the whole affair.
Suddenly the mountain lions scampered away, strings of Dumbledore-flesh swinging gayly from their jaws. Dumbledore wondered why they had scampered away like that, and then wondered why they in fact scampered and didn't bound or run or something. You don't think of mountain lions as scamperers, do you? It confused him. But then, as he looked up again, he saw what had made the mountain lions run bound fine then scamper away like they had. It was a weight, falling through the air. A big weight. A six-ton weight.
With spikes.
With red-hot poison-tipped spikes.
It came towards him, faster and faster, the red-hot poison-tipped spikes formed into a smiley-face. It squashed him like a bug, if bugs were often squashed by six-ton weights. Which they aren't, unless there's some secret cult of rich weight-loving psychos running around, and let's hope to God there aren't, because you can just imagine the kind of trouble those people could get into if they decided to use their weights against things other then bugs. But anyways, Dumbledore was squished like some kind of squished thing.
"Argh," said Dumbledore, for the last time