Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha... or any of the characters so far in my fic.
Ok last chapter was pretty short... but this one's shorter! lol... sorry I just can't seem to make my chapters as long anymore... maybe I just need to sleep more lol...
Chapter 4:
When I finally entered my house, I found my mother sleeping. There was blood on the floor, but I had figured she had just had a nose bleed. I wasn't overly worried until I tried to wake her up. I needed comfort; I had felt terrible for what I had done. I shook her lightly, she didn't move. I began saying, "Mom wake up... I need to talk to you..." but she didn't move, then I started to panic, I screamed, "Mom, mom! Wake up...MOTHER! Wake- up...wake-up mom, please... I can't go on without you mom..." I collapsed when she didn't move, she was gone. I hugged her dead corpse and whispered, "Mommy," then I started crying hysterically again.
I burned my mother beside our house in the middle of the forest, and I put her ashes in a chalice, which I buried right beside our house, with a wooden grave marker engraved with the name 'Mom.' Every year on my birthday, the day she died, I put flowers on her grave. Her favorite flowers...
I keep imagining that I killed my mother, I keep imagining that I killed her out of hatred that she had made me a freak. So maybe I have gone insane. Maybe I killed her...
But, until I find out the truth, I can't say anything. I was just a kid, how could I kill my mother? Now I think at my age I could've, but then it was close to impossible. My mother was a strong woman, and was able to calm me down, even when I was in fierce anger.
Now today, as I have said, I am thirteen. It is my birthday but I'm sure Kikyo has forgotten.
I don't even know why I decided to even write this down, maybe because in my heart I still love Kikyo. I was only eight, and my feelings for her were still as a friend, but now that I look back, I really miss her. In fact I kind of love her. I have decided to go back, I don't know when or how... but I must. I have to apologize to her, show her that I will never kill another human. I haven't hurt anyone for awhile, except maybe some animals, but that was only for food.
I am not weak.
It's amazing how many times I've had to repeat that line to myself. I think I may have gone a touch insane because I've been alone for a long time or maybe I'm just lost. Either way, I have to see Kikyo.
I am wearing my red kimono, but I'm going to throw a brown hooded kimono over top. I must hide my face. I know Kikyo and Kaede will both sense me, right when I enter the village. So I will have to move fast. I know that if I don't get to her before she senses me, I will be killed. I need to explain to her many things, I can't take back the lives I have killed, but I can try and redeem myself and help the families I have caused sorrow for.
I'm starting to run, I've reached the village, but I haven't entered it yet. I'm actually hesitating to enter. I may die today; if they can kill me that it is. I'm running through the village, and so far no one has said anything to me yet. I knocked on the shrine's door, I figured Kikyo wouldn't be home, but I figured I'd try.
Knock, knock, knock
The door opened, a beautiful figure was standing before me.
"Um, is Kikyo still living here?" I asked.
"Yes sir, she is... who may I ask is asking for her?" The woman asked.
"Inusha sir..." I said
"Inuyasha?" The woman replied.
"No ma'am Inusha... I'm an old friend of hers...." I said, startled.
"No, I mean I am Kikyo... and you are Inuyasha... come in here before anyone else sees you..." Kikyo exclaimed.
This was Kikyo, she looked nothing like her old self, and she was so, so.... beautiful.
"Um, hi..." I said.
"Why did you return? Why? You broke my heart once... why have you come back?" she asked.
"I-I broke your heart? How? I didn't banish you!" I said in anger.
"I never banished you, I told you to come back... when you had control over yourself... and you came back... which must mean you are in control..." she replied.
"I am... Kikyo... I have something to ask you..."
"What is it...? Inu?"
"Can I use the jewel? I want to make my self a full demon... Kikyo, I wanna belong..." I begged.
"So is this why you came back?" Kikyo said, enraged, "You came to get the jewel from me? So you thought you could manipulate me eh?"
"No, I asked you because I don't wanna manipulate you... I really care for you Kikyo..."
"Inuyasha, I cannot grant your wish..."
I interrupted her, "Okay..."
She gasped. I knew she was surprised, she thought I was there just to manipulate her. The only reason I was there was because I wanted to see her. I wanted to be her friend like we used to.
"IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" she exclaimed.
I looked up, she had remembered! Although I was really surprised she had gasped for only that reason. I never liked my birthdays... especially not what happened on the last one I tried to celebrate on... She brought me to the kitchen.
"Now to fulfill the promise I made when we were younger, let's make you something to eat!" she said.
My eyes widened, had she thought of me that much? Had she thought of me so much that she had remembered all those little moments that happened the days we had first met? As she began cooking we talked about our good memories. I didn't want to remind her of the bad ones... I was hoping she'd forget...
Inuyasha's starting to get emotional! lol... R&R people.. please!