AN: It's been a long time, I know, but I finally have an update! And a really long one too! This chapter is actually mostly just pointless humor, and there's a bit of light-hearted Rinoa and Angelo bashing, but no harm is meant by it. Also there's a song in this chapter, which I don't own. It's by the Beatles, and I thought it fit Irvine and his situation perfectly.
When Quistis reached Edea's room, the kindly ex-sorceress greeted her warmly and then they both took a seat in the kitchen area.
Huh, thought Quistis, they get their own place to cook food while we're forced to eat the same unidentifiable substances day after day.
"I suppose you already know why I wanted to speak with you," Matron began, and Quistis shook her head.
"Actually, no. Unless of course, this has to do with Seifer, as the timing would imply."
Edea nodded, smiling. "Yes, it does. Now I know I always ask you this in every fic," she began again, and Quistis blinked, confused.
"What?"
"I said that I know I can't force you to do this, but I'm asking that you please help Seifer as a favor to me."
"Help Seifer?" Quistis repeated, forgetting why she was confused earlier as surprise took over. "Why does he need my help? Why would he want my help?"
"You may not know it, but Seifer always looked up to you, and he's been through a lot; he's different than the boy you once knew. He's somehow…broken…" Matron said sadly.
"And you want me to fix him?" Quistis asked, completely flummoxed.
Edea gave a soft laugh. "I just want you to be his friend. He could really use one."
"Ummm…I guess I could try," Quistis agreed, only because she could never say no to Matron. Then it struck her, "Matron, why didn't you ask me if I was okay with Seifer being readmitted?"
Edea smiled at her. "You have a soft heart Quistis," she replied and to that Quistis didn't know what to say to that.
The days passed quickly after that. Business around Garden went on as usual, with the exception of the constant buzz of conversation that revolved around Seifer. There wasn't a single student that wasn't angry with Seifer, but none of them went out of their way to show it; especially with the way the famed 'sorceress' lapdog' was acting.
Seifer never spoke a word to anyone, and he walked to and from his classes like a man on death row. Quistis tried to talk to him a few times, but he would only brush her off and escape to his room. He seemed so dead inside…But she could have sworn she had seen him smile the day that Squall has chased Selphie around Garden because she'd stolen his gun-blade.
Quistis was pretty sure that Squall was going to kill the poor girl one day, if that kept up. It had been a week since Squall had first been dragged into helping out with the Garden Festival and everyone, Selphie and Rinoa excluded, had been careful to go near him. Mostly everyone kept their distance from the commander, because he looked as if at any second he would either explode or have a major meltdown. Selphie was driving him nuts with her 'mindless chatter' as Squall would say, but Quistis preferred Selphie's 'mindless chatter' to Rinoa's sugary sweet smiles and touchy-feely ways any day.
It was while she was thinking about this that she saw Irvine run by, barely managing to tip his hat to her. After a second, just before she entered the library, she heard a girl cry, "I think he went this way!" followed by a stampede of footsteps. Shaking her head, she went into the library.
Squall had faced his arch enemy in battle multiple times, had defeated three evil sorceresses, and had survived a whole day of shopping with Rinoa, but for all his courage, he was hiding in a rather spacious Janitor's closet. Why? Because the hyper-active Selphie Tilmitt wanted him to help for the eighth straight damn day with the Garden Festival. So there he was, sitting with his back against the wall, a broom to his right, a mop to his left. He hadn't dared to turn on the light, though he was sure that Selphie would never think to find the 'commander' in a janitor's closet, and so he sat in the dark. Yes, he was bored out of his mind, but his fear of Selphie made him stay where he was.
His worst fear was realized when suddenly the door was opened by a short figure in a yellow jumper, who to his surprise, simply shut the door and flung herself into the darkness. Selphie landed on Squall, causing him to smash his head on the wall and bite his tongue.
"Aaaaah!" Selphie screamed, scrambling off of him. Before he could say anything she had reached for the light and had turned it on. "Squall?! I've been looking for you all over!"
"Yeah, well, you found me," he replied bitterly.
She frowned. "What are you doing in here?"
"Hiding from you," was his honest answer.
"Me? Why would you hide from me?" she asked innocently.
"Gah. I guess it's off to work on the festival then," Squall grumbled, standing, the paused. "Wait, what are you doing here?"
"I'm hiding from Rinoa."
"Rinoa?" Squall repeated, semi-intrigued.
Selphie nodded violently. "Uh-huh! Since we couldn't find you, she wanted me to help her give Angelo a bath!" she exclaimed, then added with wide, serious eyes, "Angelo is EVIL."
Squall's eyes became wide as well and he promptly sat back down. The last time Rinoa had given Angelo a bath, she had to force Zell to help her since the commander had been mysteriously absent. Zell was still recovering from the trauma. "Okay then," he began slowly, realizing his fate, "triple triad?"
Irvine ran for his life down the hallways of Balamb Garden.
Well they took some honey from a tree
Dressed it up and they called it me
Everybody's trying to be my baby
Everybody's trying to be my baby
Everybody's trying to be my baby, now
Well half past nine, half past four
fifty women knocking on my door
Everybody's trying to be my baby
Everybody's trying to be my baby
Everybody's trying to be my baby, now
Went out last night, I didn't stay late
'fore I got home I had nineteen dates
Everybody's trying to be my baby
Everybody's trying to be my baby
Everybody's trying to be my baby, now
Went out last night, I didn't stay late
'fore I got home I had nineteen dates
Well they took some honey from a tree
Dressed it up and they called it me
Everybody's trying to be my baby
Everybody's trying to be my baby
Everybody's trying to be my baby, now
There were at least ten girls chasing after the cowboy, and as much as he liked the attention, he had to draw the line somewhere. He'd tried hiding in several places, like Squall's office, but the gun-blade master hadn't been there. In fact, no one had seen him that day. Next he'd looked for Selphie, because the sugar happy girl was usually a good defensive against his rabid fans, but she'd been too busy searching for Squall.
A light bulb went off in Irvine's head then, as he realized exactly why Squall couldn't be found. But, where had the commander gone? Surely he hadn't left Garden, which meant that he had probably found a good hiding spot. Just what Irvine needed.
A high-pitched scream reached his ears. "I see him! Down here!"
Swearing, the cowboy took a turn and darted into an open door room, and hid behind the door. The female student gaped at him and he flashed her a grin and listened as the herd of girls rampaged past. When he was in the clear, he ran out, nearly skidding into the wall and took off in the opposite direction.
As he ran down the cafeteria hall he saw a small alcove that he hadn't seen before, with a door inside. Aha! A janitor's closet! Without any further thought he flung open the door and slipped inside, closing it quietly behind him, sighing with relief.
"Awwww Irvy! You're stepping on my cards!" he heard Selphie whine.
Startled, he turned around to see not only Selphie, but Squall as well.
"What the heck are you two doing in here?" Irvine asked, stepping off of Selphie's cards.
"Triple-Triad," Squall deadpanned, as Selphie answered cheerfully, "hiding!"
The cowboy raised an eyebrow, then shrugging, sat down across from Selphie. "Hiding from what?"
"Rinoa," Squall answered, placing a card down.
"What? Why? Oh….wait, is she giving Angelo a bath again?"
Selphie shuddered and made her move. "Uh huh. But if you're not hiding from Rinoa, what are you hiding from?"
"Girls," Irvine replied. There was a pause then, "can I play winner?"
Seifer Almasy had obediently reported to Dr. Kadowaki's office, as per orders, and trying was his best to ignore the stares from the other patients as he patiently waited for his turn. Supposedly there were a few papers he had to fill out and sign still because of his re-admittance. If it had been before the Ultimecia mess, he would have shown up late, at least by a couple of days, but as it was now, he was ten minutes early.
Ultimecia…Could he ever forgive himself for what he had done? Sure, he had smiled from time to time, like none of it had ever happened, but back in Garden… Rajin and Fujin had never given him accusing stares, but then he'd never tried to kill them before, had he? So Seifer preferred to keep his head down and his mouth shut as he went through the process of becoming a SeeD. It was hard some times, especially when Quistis kept trying to talk to him…Who knew why she wanted to 'chat' with him. Why would any of the world's heroes wish to speak with him?
"Seifer?"
The man in question lifted his head, and Kadowaki ushered him into one of the rooms. Starting to get a little suspicious now, he hesitated as she told him to sit. "Just paperwork, right?" he verified, and the doctor gave him a sheepish smile.
"Well, not just that…You need to be vaccinated as well…"
Seifer shot up, his eyes wide with horror. He was getting a shot?! No way in hell!
Kadowaki tried to calm him down. "We didn't tell you because we knew how you would react—Please Seifer!"
The ex-sorceress's knight didn't answer her futile pleas and bolted from the room. As he darted down the hall he saw two students emerge from the infirmary and give chase.
Shit.
Panicked, he led the two around garden until they were too tired to run, gasping for air, and then headed for the janitor's closet near the cafeteria. He hadn't been there in at least four years, but he knew it still existed. What he didn't expect was to find that it was already occupied.
Selphie, Squall, and Irvine stared up at him in surprise, and he at them. When the four heard shouts they simultaneously hissed, "quick! Shut the door!"
Seifer didn't have to be told twice, and his eyes wide with terror, fell back against the door and slid to the floor. Breathing hard, he faced three sets of blinking eyes.
"You know, this really isn't much of a hiding spot," Selphie commented quietly, the first to break the silence.
"I guess not. But if you think about it," Irvine mused, just as quiet, "the only ones who have found it are hiding from something."
"That is true," Selphie agreed, and turned her bright green eyes onto Seifer and poked a finger at him. "So what are you hiding from?"
Slightly recovered, he answered, "shots…"
Selphie gave a frightened squeal and Squall clamped his hand over her mouth to suppress it. "Shhhh!!!"
"What the h--," Seifer caught himself, "I mean, what are you guys doing in here?" This was way too weird. But as uncomfortable as he felt with staying, there was no way he could leave and face Kadowaki.
"We're hiding too," Selphie whispered conspiratorially, and Seifer couldn't help but arch an eyebrow.
Normally, he wouldn't bother speaking to them, never mind asking them about why the three of them were in a closet, but it had been so long since he had had anyone to talk to. And with their current situation, he wasn't really left with any other choice. Besides, his curiosity was struck; what could Squall, Selphie, and Irvine possibly be afraid of to make them hide in a closet? He was hiding from getting a shot, and he honestly wasn't afraid to admit it anymore. There was something so terrifying about a tiny needle poking into his skin and causing such a horrible throbbing pain.
"What from?" he asked.
"Well, me and Squallie here," she said, and 'Squallie' glared at her, "are hiding from Rinoa, and Irvine is hiding from some girls, but Rinoa now too."
Confused, Seifer gave his commander a questioning look. Weren't the two going out?
Squall sighed. "She's giving Angelo a bath," he explained.
Seifer's eyes went wide. "OH."
There was silence then, and Seifer found himself watching Squall and Irvine play Triple-Triad. Their match ended up in a draw and so they played another round. Halfway into the game Seifer noticed Selphie staring at him.
"What?" he asked uncomfortably.
"Can I cut your hair?"
"What?" he repeated.
"It's just so long," she explained. "Don't get me wrong, it looks good long, I just think it would look better like you used to have it."
"I suppose you'd want me to shave too," Seifer replied, before he could stop the words from slipping out. Why was he talking to them?
Selphie giggled and nodded, clasping her hands together and giving him puppy-dog eyes. "Pleeeeease? And you still haven't joined the Garden Festival Committee yet either!"
Out of the corner of his eye, Seifer saw Squall twitch. The blond man was perfectly aware of the horrors Squall had been going through and there was no way he was going to go through the same. Catching his eye, the commander gave him a warning glance and shook his head. Selphie didn't see.
"Uh, well, you see," Seifer began, but he was cut off by a blood-curdling scream coming from the hall.
All four froze, and then relaxed as Squall said calmly, "sounds like Zell," and went back to playing cards.
"Should we rescue him?" Selphie asked.
"Nah, it'll get too crowded," Irvine replied, choosing a card.
"But he's little! He should fit!" Selphie countered, and Seifer snickered. The brunettes eyes went wide and she grinned. "Seifer! That was almost a laugh!" And without warning she promptly glomped the poor man in excitement.
The action caused the door he was leaning against to bang loudly and Squall and Irvine to wince at the sound.
"You haven't been yourself since you came back!" Selphie said, oblivious to Seifer's shocked stare as she let him go and returned to her seat.
"What, you wanted me to be like I was? An arrogant, traitor bastard?" he replied bitterly, his chest tightening. The other three stared at him. That was as close as they had ever come to discussing what had happened with Ultimecia.
It was Squall answered. "How about a cocky, rebellious smartass?"
Dead silence.
And then Seifer smirked at him. "I guess you're the same old puberty boy," he replied. Irvine and Selphie tensed and looked to each other nervously. Another scream broke the air.
"And that would be the chicken wuss," Squall deadpanned.
A second passed. And another. Then all four broke out in hysterical laughter, all attempts to be quiet forgotten until the door behind Seifer opened, pouring light in.
Seifer nearly toppled backwards but recovered just in time, and was the first to react to their visitor. "Well? What the hell are you waiting for? Get in here!" he hissed, and reaching up, grabbed Zell by his shirt and jerked him into the closet, then shut the door.
Zell kicked up all Triple-Triad cards and hit his head on the single light bulb that hung above their heads before finding a seat. The others didn't fail to quietly reprimand him for stepping on their hands and nearly kicking them in the face before he was settled.
"So uh, what's up guys?" he asked. "You hiding from Rinoa too?"
Nods.
Zell nodded solemnly. "I only just got away. Water and Angelo equals the Devil."
Quistis was helping the cafeteria ladies clean up a rather large food-fight but they needed another mop, so she went off to get it. As she walked down the hall, she wondered where all her friends had gotten to. Everyone seemed to have disappeared… She'd heard Zell screaming about ten minutes before but she hadn't heard a peep since. Shrugging, she approached the janitor's closet and opened it.
Five frightened people stared at her. She stared back. Finally, she smiled wryly. "Is this a private party or can I join you?"
Surprisingly it was Seifer who answered. Wait, she thought, Seifer? "We're hiding," he said.
"Dare I ask?"
"Rinoa," a chorus of voices answered.
Quistis went pale as all the pieces fit together. And stepping inside the closet, she shut the door behind her.
AN: So umm, yeah. That was the third chapter. Kinda pointless, kinda not. But I hope you guys found it amusing! REVIEW!