Disclaimer: No, I don't own any of the characters. I do, however, own the
song. Really! I made it up myself.
My life sucks. Of course, you know, it's not much of a life. Because, you know, I DIE. How unfair is that? Everyone else gets to live through until at least the third movie. But oh no, not me. I DIE. Before the end of the FIRST movie.
I mean yeah, sure, I tried to take the ring from Frodo. Minor details. Surely I didn't have to DIE to repent for my actions. Isn't that a bit harsh? In the books I didn't die until the second one. Yeah, it was the beginning of it, but the second one nonetheless. But they must have gotten bored of me in the movies or something, because they killed me off far too early.
I get absolutely nothing for my troubles. I died to save Merry and Pippin, and how do they repay me? Gee, well, let's see......... Pippin named his son after my BROTHER! And as for Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn. They threw me over a waterfall and forgot about me. Legolas and Aragorn didn't even sing a song for me like they were supposed to. Nope, they were too busy chasing off after the hobbits to save their lives. They're alive. They'll wait.
My death wasn't even particularly noble. I became a bloody pincushion. People laughed! I heard them. How rude, and on my deathbed too. I tried to make it a bit better by being heart wrenching while I was speaking my last words. But it's pretty hard to be heart wrenching when you've got three arrows sticking out of your chest. It sounds like a bad country song. "You've made a pincushion out of my heart........."
And everyone thinks they're SOOO much better than me.
"Oh silly Boromir, we can't use the ring."
"Oh, it's just Boromir, the weak-minded fool."
"Boromir, stop trying to rape Frodo! Oh, wait. He's just trying to steal the ring again"
Stupid ponces think they're so great because they don't DIE.
My life sucks. Of course, you know, it's not much of a life. Because, you know, I DIE. How unfair is that? Everyone else gets to live through until at least the third movie. But oh no, not me. I DIE. Before the end of the FIRST movie.
I mean yeah, sure, I tried to take the ring from Frodo. Minor details. Surely I didn't have to DIE to repent for my actions. Isn't that a bit harsh? In the books I didn't die until the second one. Yeah, it was the beginning of it, but the second one nonetheless. But they must have gotten bored of me in the movies or something, because they killed me off far too early.
I get absolutely nothing for my troubles. I died to save Merry and Pippin, and how do they repay me? Gee, well, let's see......... Pippin named his son after my BROTHER! And as for Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn. They threw me over a waterfall and forgot about me. Legolas and Aragorn didn't even sing a song for me like they were supposed to. Nope, they were too busy chasing off after the hobbits to save their lives. They're alive. They'll wait.
My death wasn't even particularly noble. I became a bloody pincushion. People laughed! I heard them. How rude, and on my deathbed too. I tried to make it a bit better by being heart wrenching while I was speaking my last words. But it's pretty hard to be heart wrenching when you've got three arrows sticking out of your chest. It sounds like a bad country song. "You've made a pincushion out of my heart........."
And everyone thinks they're SOOO much better than me.
"Oh silly Boromir, we can't use the ring."
"Oh, it's just Boromir, the weak-minded fool."
"Boromir, stop trying to rape Frodo! Oh, wait. He's just trying to steal the ring again"
Stupid ponces think they're so great because they don't DIE.