Being the ringbearer is overrated. Really, it is. I mean sure, it looks
easy in the movie. All that moron does is prance around with his MASSIVE
BLUE eyes. But it's really a lot more difficult that that.
For instance, do you have any idea what a pain in the arse that bloody ring is? It's always 'Frodo do this,' and 'Frodo do that.' 'Frodo, betray all your friends and take the rings to Mordor.' 'Frodo, rape Sam. You know you want to.'
And no, I do NOT want to, thank you very much.
And while I may be too cute and adorable and innocent for the ring to corrupt me for a very long time, I can't say the same for some of the other formerly living members of the fellowship whom shall remain nameless.
This nameless person got bloody annoying. He kept trying to steal the ring. Or maybe he was trying to rape me. I'm not entirely sure. It doesn't really matter, as he's dead. But still. He kept trying to convince me that the ring was useful, helpful, would save the city of Gondor.
Right. Like the great elven lords would want to destroy something helpful.
Boro-I mean, the nameless one, was annoying. I'm glad he's dead.
I hate to go leave my friends because of that bloody ring. I mean, Denethor thinks he has no friends? Look at me. I ran away. Except for Sam. HE came with me. And then I had to deal with the ring trying to coerce me into raping him. And then there's Gollum. Because of the ring, I had to deal with HIM following me around and being all, "Ooooh, master, master! Precious, precious!" Wish he'd fall off a cliff.
Being the ringbearer sucks bum.
For instance, do you have any idea what a pain in the arse that bloody ring is? It's always 'Frodo do this,' and 'Frodo do that.' 'Frodo, betray all your friends and take the rings to Mordor.' 'Frodo, rape Sam. You know you want to.'
And no, I do NOT want to, thank you very much.
And while I may be too cute and adorable and innocent for the ring to corrupt me for a very long time, I can't say the same for some of the other formerly living members of the fellowship whom shall remain nameless.
This nameless person got bloody annoying. He kept trying to steal the ring. Or maybe he was trying to rape me. I'm not entirely sure. It doesn't really matter, as he's dead. But still. He kept trying to convince me that the ring was useful, helpful, would save the city of Gondor.
Right. Like the great elven lords would want to destroy something helpful.
Boro-I mean, the nameless one, was annoying. I'm glad he's dead.
I hate to go leave my friends because of that bloody ring. I mean, Denethor thinks he has no friends? Look at me. I ran away. Except for Sam. HE came with me. And then I had to deal with the ring trying to coerce me into raping him. And then there's Gollum. Because of the ring, I had to deal with HIM following me around and being all, "Ooooh, master, master! Precious, precious!" Wish he'd fall off a cliff.
Being the ringbearer sucks bum.