I am so sorry for not updating in so long. This has been the crappiest summer ever. And my computer died, and I've only had it back for a week.
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You know, being in the fellowship wouldn't be half bad if Merry wasn't in it. It's not that I don't like him. I love him like a cousin! Actually, he is my cousin, but that's beside the point, which I seem to have forgotten... oh, right!
The point is, everyone always gets me confused with Merry. Mippin and Perry, Perry and Mippin... There! See what I mean? Even I do it. But I can't be my own person. I'm always being compared to Merry. Merry this, Merry that, Merry, Merry, Merry. How come Merry doesn't smoke so much? How come Merry doesn't hump my leg? Merry's not a fool of a Took. Well, of course not! Merry's a Brandybuck.
The truth is, Merry puts me up to most of it. It's true! The skeleton in Moria? All his fault. Alright, I did give into him. I've heard it before: if Merry jumped off Isenguard, would you do it too? But nobody understands what it's like to have him goading you on all the time. The Palantir was his fault too. He took it from Gandalf and asked me to hold on to it. And when I took it, he kept the cloth. He was jealous, because Théoden liked me more. So I got stuck pledging my allegiance to stupid Denethor instead. He is so weird.
I hate being Mippin... Perry... whoever.