1Terror By Night Chapter 4
Disclaimers: I don't own a thing!
A/N: Many thanks to Angel Officer and Wolf Jade for their kind reviews.
She felt so safe in his arms. Even when she and Fred were together he had never made her feel so secure as Bosco was right now at this moment. But then again, she could never allow herself to be weak around Fred. He was far too weak himself. She never would've wanted Bosco to see her this way either. She didn't think he would've been able to deal with something like this. He had a strength about him she didn't know existed until now and she was basking in it. She didn't want the embrace to end.
He pulled back away from her first, brushing the hair out of her face. She knew she'd seen a softer side of Bosco over the last five months, but it was nothing compared to what she was seeing in his eyes now.
He was looking at her with such compassion and sincerity she didn't want to let go. It felt so good there, so safe.
"Here, why don't you try and get some rest. The doctor said you gotta heal physically too ya know." She was tired, so she agreed and stretched out on the sofa. Asleep almost before her head hit the pillow, Bosco got a blanket and gently covered her up to her shoulders, as she lay there curled up on her side. He'd watch for a bit as she slept. She looked as though she was sleeping comfortably enough so he went to make himself a sandwich and a few phone calls.
He called work to see if they had any leads yet on the jag-off that did this to her. They still had nothing. Afterwards he came back and watched her sleep some more. She looked so vulnerable he thought to himself. Not even realizing his fists were clinched again.
It had gotten really late, so he headed off to his room to try and get some much needed sleep of his own. But sleep would not come without fitful nightmares of Faith screaming out his name for help. In his dream he was running as hard as he could to get to her. It seem as though the harder he tried the further she got away from him. "Faith!" he called to her out of breath. She sounded so desperate. Why couldn't he find her?!
He'd been expecting it but was startled when he woke and realized her screaming was real. With his breath still caught in his throat he ran into the living room switching on the light, picking her up and holding her.
"He was here Bosco! He...he was here!" she cried. He could feel her whole body shaking.
'Son-of-a-bitch.' he thought to himself still trembling from his own dream.
"No, Faith." he said softly trying to calm her. He knew all to well what nightmares were like. He could feel her heart beating wildly as he held her close "It was just a nightmare. Nobody's here but me and you." she pulled back away from him. Her eyes were wide with fear just as they had been back at her apartment.
She looked anxiously around the room and then back at him. "God Bosco it was so real!" She sat there for a few moments pulling her knees up to her chest wrapping her arms around herself.
Realizing finally that he was right, she began to calm bit by bit.
She took a deep breath and sighed, running her hands over her face. "I'm sorry, I'm...I'm okay now Bos. Really." She lied knowing full well she wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you or scare you. Please...go back to bed." she told him, feeling guilty for waking him up.
"I can stay in here with you if you want." he offered.
"Oh... No, I'm fine, really. Just... leave the lamp on okay?" She tried to settle herself back down to show him, but he could read her face. He knew better.
"Sure." he told her. "And Faith? Don't apologize." It pained him so much to see her like this. She was right. She had always been the strong one. And now she would be having these horrible nightmares and needing the light on to sleep. He gently leaned over and kissed her forehead.
"Goodnight Faith." he told her as he headed back to his room.
She opened her mouth to speak but didn't. Somewhat startled by his kissed on her forehead. Nothing like that had ever happened before. She could feel herself being drawn to him more and more. Nobody else would've been able to get near her right now, but Bosco was different. He wasn't just anybody else. She trusted him completely. They'd been through too much together and still came out on top. Right now drawing her strength from him was the only thing making this bearable at all.
Not being able to control her fear any longer she found herself walking down the hallway to Bosco's room. Her entire body ached from being so sore and tense. She had to find some kind of peace if even for a short time. And Bosco was the only one who could give her that. She hated feeling this weak inside. 'God! This is so humiliating.' she thought as the tears threatened her again stinging her already tired eyes. She was becoming more desperate by the second and her anxiety level was peaking again as she glanced back towards the living room. She caught herself jumping at the slightest sound.
Moments later he sensed that he was being watched. He looked around to see Faith standing in the doorway looking like a lost little girl.
"Bos...?" she kind of stammered out. "Could I I sleep in here with you?" she looked up at him her eyes pleading and then back down at the floor as she stood fidgeting with her fingers.
"Yeah, sure." he said sliding over and pulling back the covers for her in which she gratefully got in and backed up to him as close as she could closing her eyes tightly as she pulled the blanket up close to her chin and held it there.
Surprised a bit by her actions, he turned wrapping his arm around her waste carefully asking if this was ok, in which she nodded sighing a big sigh of relief as they both drifted off to sleep.
He woke up just as the sun was beaming through the window. Somewhat confused at first having slept so hard he looked down to see Faith still wrapped up in his arms sleeping. She looked so peaceful for the first time in the last few days. Hell, she looked like an angel to him. Her soft features illuminated by the sunbeams that now lit up the room. He just laid there for a few moments propped up on his elbow watching her sleep. He gently pulled the stray strands of hair that threatened to cover her face away.
He thought of how she came to him last night. He knew all to well to know what it was to have nightmares and wake up in a cold sweat. How was he ever gonna help her when he still had similar problems himself? But then he remembered how he had slept so well with her next to him the remainder of the night. Not even a hint of any of his own nightmares.
He wished so bad looking down at her that she were here with him like this under different circumstances. Not because she was afraid, but because she loved him too. Still, he was determined to do what ever it took to keep her safe for however long she would allow him too. Watching her sleep he knew he'd never been more in love with her than he was right now.
Somebody was gonna pay dearly for doing this to her. He didn't know when or how, but he was gonna get that asshole. He could still hear her screams over the phone from that night in his head and at times and it shook him to the very core of his being.
He laid back down rubbing his head with his free hand. 'What the hell makes men do shit like this?' he thought to himself as he lay there. For a moment it made him feel ashamed of his own gender. 'No, they don't even deserve to be called men. Those dirt bags all deserved to be castrated and thrown into a bottomless pit some where together right along with child molesters and wife beaters. At least that would be a little justice.'
He could feel himself tensing up more as he thought about it and knowing Faith she would sense it and wake up, he willed himself to calm down and just savor the moment of being able to look at her and hold her like he was. Would he ever be able to tell her how much she meant to him? He sighed deeply wondering if he would ever get the nerve or if the time would ever come when it would be right to do so. All this new contact with Faith was making his head spin. He had to keep his emotions intact. Stay focused.
Almost a month had passed by fairly quickly to Bosco, but to Faith it seemed like forever and her nerves didn't seem to be settling down as fast as she had hoped.
Most of her co-workers from the 55th as well as Kim and even Doc. had been by to see her at some point or another. She had basically moved in with Bosco it seemed. He'd gotten everything she needed from her apartment and put the rest in storage for her. She hadn't been able to make herself to go back there. Her lease had been up so she'd let the place go gladly. She just wanted to get back to work and stay busy. Her last appointment with her doctor had gone well. So far there were no signs of any sexually transmitted diseases, all her blood work had come back normal and she had healed well physically too. But her nightmares still haunted her almost every night.
In the time she had been at Bosco's she reluctantly began seeing the department therapist which had been helpful to a point as well as going to group therapy sessions at a local women's clinic. It was dramatic each time she went. Some of the stories she heard from the other women were not nearly as violent as hers and yet others were much worse. Just seeing them you would never know the hell they'd been through unless you'd been there too. All together though they had two very important things in common. They had all been raped and they were all survivors.
It seemed as though each time she went there was a new face. Another victim of some ones sick perverted mind. She knew she would never treat a sexual assault case the same at work. But would she still be able to handle taking care of someone whom had just experienced it?
'She was just gonna have to toughen up.' she told herself. Throwing the dishtowel she had been using down in the sink. "Enough of this Faith!" she hissed at herself as she leaned against the counter top. 'It's time you got your ass back to work.'
Leaving Bosco a note she decided to go and talk to Swersky about returning to work. She had to get her life back. 'To hell with this!' she thought as she left the apartment. She was tired of allowing some maniac run her life. If she ever saw him again or he found her like he said, she was gonna be ready. Her anger was giving her strength again and nobody was going to take that away from her.
She walked up the steps to the precinct and through the doors. Looking around she noticed a few stares from some of the people as she walked into Swersky's office and made her request.
"Faith are you sure your ready? Because you can take all the time you need. I mean, don't take it the wrong way. Of course I want you back here, but only if you're absolutely sure you're ready to handle the job. I don't want you freezing up out there on me and getting hurt." Swersky told her eyeing her carefully.
"Don't worry Leiu. I'm sure." she said trying to sound cheerful.
"Okay, but I still want you to take a day or two on a desk you hear?" he told her with a fatherly smile and a wink.
"Sure thing Leiu." she smiled standing and shaking his hand. So it was a done deal. Tomorrow she would be back at work and out of that damn apartment. Not that she wasn't grateful to Bosco for letting her stay with him, she just needed to do something more meaningful than cleaning and laundry. She needed to be doing what she was meant to do. Being a cop.
Now she had to go and explain that to Bosco. He'd become really over protective of her and she had let him. He was just going to have to understand that she had to gain some of her independence back.
Just as she was leaving Davis and Sullivan were coming up the sidewalk to the steps.
"Faith! Hey, how ya doing?" Sully smiled walking over to where she stood.
"Well hey there stranger." Ty grinned as he came to stand beside of Sully. "How's it going?"
"It's going good guys." she smiled back. "Nice to see you both. I was just talking to Lieu and I'll be coming back to work tomorrow."
They both looked at one another and then back at her. "Really? You sure you're up for it?" Ty asked.
She nodded reassuring them as well as herself. "Yeah. I'm good. Really." she smiled again.
"Well... great then we'll see you tomorrow." Sully reached for her hand and gave it heartfelt squeeze. "We've all missed you around here you know?"
"Thanks guys." she beamed at them now. "See you tomorrow then." and with that she headed back to Bosco's who would most likely be back by now since he was off work today and had gone to run a few errands.
She spoke to the detectives almost daily at first and then gradually every few days or so to see if they had any information for her. This guy seemed to have disappeared. They had brought in a few suspects and had a few false leads, but that was it. 'Nothing. Zilch.' she thought to herself again. 'Maybe he really was gone.' she sighed a bit nervously looking around at her surroundings before entering the subway. Her hand tightly wrapped around her off duty weapon in her purse.
He stuck his now short blonde haired head out from around the corner just as she descended the subway stairs. He had a mustache, goatee and wore contacts that changed the color of his eyes from gray to dark brown. He no longer looked anything like the man at the store that night. He laughed to himself as he leaned his head back against the brick wall.
'Dumb bitch.' he thought. 'I can get this close to you and you don't even recognize me! Well I certainly don't want you to forget me this quickly.' he sighed as he felt for the mask in his pocket. 'So you're going back to work huh? Probably with that little punk cop too no doubt.' he pulled at the short goatee he'd grown as he walked away. He'd had to bleach it and his mustache at least once a week maybe more to keep his disguise up. He didn't care. He'd become obsessed with her. She was going to be his even if it killed them both!
Faith let herself in Bosco's apartment and turned to make sure the door was securely locked. She knew he was there cause she'd seen his car parked out front.
Bosco? She called out, but there was no answer. She continued down the hall to find him sitting on the bed in his room with the note she'd left him.
"What are you doing Faith? Don't you think it's still a little early for you to be going back to work? I mean you hardly sleep." he asked her looking at her very concerned.
"Bos." she began. "I'm ready to get on with my life. I can't continue to stay closed up hiding in your apartment forever like some scared little kid. It's time to move on ya know?
He looked at her paying close attention to her expressions. "So does that mean you're going to be moving out of here too?" he said crossing his arms.
"Well...I hadn't thought about it yet, but if your ready to have me outta your way then I'm sure I can find something. Bos, please don't think I'm not grateful for everything you've done for me. I never would've made it this far had it not been for you. You're my best friend. I trust you more than anyone! Please don't be angry with me. I just want to try to get my life back together again." She explained.
"Then listen to me! I don't think you're ready for this yet! It's too soon."
Becoming a little angry now she threw back at him "Bosco what do you know about it? Huh?
Who are you to say whether I am or not?"
"Okay." he sighed throwing up his hands. "I'm the one who see's you every night fighting to sleep. And when you do it's only for a short while before you wake up scared outta your wits that this guy is after you again. I'm the one that has to convince you that he's not here. I'm the one who has to help you pick up the pieces of yourself when you fall apart! You really think you can handle the job right now without freakin out if we have to take a call to where some rapist has attacked another woman?" he hadn't even realized he was yelling until it was too late and he'd said too much. It all had come out wrong. He was only trying to protect her couldn't she see that?
She glared back at him. She couldn't help but feel both hurt and anger. Tears were beginning to sting her eyes. She hadn't meant to be such a burden on him. But apparently this had all taken its toll on him too.
"Bosco all you had to do was say so. I didn't mean to weigh you down with this." she grabbed her coat and was out the door before he could see her cry again.
Stunned, he stood there for a moment wondering how he'd let those words slip out of his mouth that way before he quickly started to run after her.
"Faith wait! I'm sorry I didn't mean it like it sounded damn it wait!" But she never turned around; she just threw up her hand as she walked faster down the hallway and into the stair well.
Outside the air was cooler as she took deep breaths to try and calm herself.
'Now what do I do?'
She thought to herself pulling her coat in closer around her. She began to just walk. She didn't care at that moment where she ended up.
He decided to let her cool off rather than chase after her; afraid he would only make it worse.
Not far behind, and watching her every move he checked again for the mask in his pocket. It was time he reminded her of her place! He thought to himself.
TBC...