I'm sorry
'bout the attitude
I need to give when I'm with you
but no one else would take this shit from me
and I'm so
terrified of no one else but me
I'm here all the time
I won't go away
it's me, yeah I can't get myself to go away
it's me, and I can't get myself to go away
oh God shouldn't feel this way
-Matchbox 20
Disclaimer: All of this belongs to Miss Rowling but I am extremely grateful to her for even allowing us to write fanfiction with her stuff!!!
A/N: Oh my god! The last chapter was the crappiest in the history of mankind but you guys still reviewed J Thankyou!!! I'm going to do something different in this chapter- I am going to do it I Harry's POV, using the 1.5 days since he beat up Draco and into the future. I never did get to explain a) why Harry did it and b) how he felt, so I thought this would be interesting. Yaaaay! Enjoy, guys! Also, quite a few people said they had liked the POV changes. So every second chapter (starting now) will have changes. Hopefully this will keep you both satisfied! Sorry if it doesn't quite suffice but I can't please everyone, you know.
--Harry's POV--
After what happened with Malfoy, I couldn't bring myself to speak to Hermione for quite a time. I felt terrible – I don't often let my temper get the better of me and I didn't feel a thing when I was hitting him.
But even if I could speak to Hermione, she obviously had no intentions of doing the same to me. She did not try to avoid me – she still spoke to Ron – but ignored me completely and regarded me coldly if she caught me looking at her. The day that seemed to never end finally changed to a long night filled with homework and study. The next dawned the same and ended the same – a silent war between Hermione and I. Nobody noticed – or at least pretended they didn't – except Ron, of course, and Ginny, who knew to stay well out of it. In fact, Ron did not ask me what was going on that night, when it had been an entire two days of silence.
"Harry?"
"Hmmm?"
"Have you got a second?"
"Hang on, Ron, I have to finish this potions essay."
"It's sort of important."
"Well…alright. Out with it."
"Well…what happened with you and Hermione? I mean, why aren't you speaking?"
I took a deep breath and, letting my quill drop lifelessly, explained the entire events of the night before to Ron.
"Well, at least you socked Malfoy one," he said consolingly when I had finished.
"More like twelve," I said dully.
"And I suppose you're proud, are you, Harry?" said a shrill voice form the doorway to the common room.
"Hermione," squeaked Ron. "What are you doing here?"
"I came," she said coldly, not looking at me," to see you, Ron. But unfortunately, he's here too."
"Hermione…"I trailed helplessly as she turned and left. I got up and followed her, even though Ron advised me otherwise as he called out when I left.
She can't have gotten far, I thought desperately. She can't be past the portrait of Robert Mills- (A/N: Rob Mills is a really hot Australian singer!)
I found her about to turn down the Charms corridor. I realised that she had to patrol tonight.
"Hermione," I called. She turned, smiling. But when she saw who I was (or wasn't) her smile turned to a scowl.
"What do you want?" she asked icily.
"I want…I want to say sorry." I looked at her helplessly. I thought I could see her scowl soften; her golden eyes lose some of their coldness.
"Harry," she said, "You threw him against the wall in a dark corridor! Do you have any idea how cowardly that is?"
"I know," I said desperately. "I just…I just wanted…I was jealous…"
"Jealous?" she repeated faintly. "You beat Draco to a pulp because you were jealous?"
"Oh, so it's Draco now, is it?" Apologies forgotten, her use of his first name made me want to retch.
"Harry!" she cried, her hands clenched in fury. "You're supposed to be apologising to me, not interrogating me about my relationship with Draco!"
As soon as the word "relationship" left her mouth, her eyes widened.
"Relationship?" I repeated quietly. "Is that what it is? Well, I'll leave you alone with dearest Draco, then. I suppose the fact that Ron and I have been there for you for six years and Draco has been abusing you for the same amount of time doesn't matter at all, does it? No matter what we think? No matter what Gryffindor thinks?" With those words, I spun on my heal and ran back to Gryffindor tower.
I passed Ron, who opened his mouth questioningly as I stormed past and Seamus and Dean, who looked up as they were playing chess.
I changed quickly, throwing myself down on my bed and ripping the hangings closed with such force that they split down the middle, hanging uselessly. I lay down and stared at the stars through the window visible through the huge tear in the bed curtains. Every now and then, a bat or an owl soared past.
My thoughts turned to Hermione. Why did I care so much more now then I had for six years? Why did she suddenly mean more than a close friend to me?
Gods, I thought desperately. I shouldn't be feeling this way…
I let myself fall asleep as a single tear crept down my cheek and fell onto the scarlet bedspread, unnoticed.
The next morning at breakfast I tried to talk to Hermione several times, but she ignored me. Ron eyed me sympathetically.
"What have we got first, Harry?" he asked me, dreading the answer.
"Potions," I replied grimly. Ron groaned.
As Ron and I walked quickly to the dungeons, we saw Malfoy, alone. As he saw us he looked up but said nothing, then returned his gaze to the ground. His eyes were cold and emotionless. I looked at Ron, who shrugged.
The doors of the classrooms we were passing began to shut and we could here the sound of teachers calling the rolls. Ron looked at me, eyes widened in panic.
"Crap! We're going to be late! Snape's going to kill us…"
We sprinted to the potions classroom and flung open the door, to see Snape tapping his foot impatiently.
"Potter, Weasley- you are late," he said, his voice filled with venom. 'Twenty points from Gryffindor. Sit down and take out your books before you fall even more behind than you already are."
We found two seats together near the back amidst sniggers from Crabbe and Goyle and took out our books. I skimmed the page, trying to absorb the information fruitlessly. I could see Hermione already taking notes, having already read the chapter. She was sitting next to Lavender. I looked around the classroom, ready to see the tall blonde sneering at me. But Malfoy wasn't there at all. And it looked as though Hermione had noticed it too.
A/N: OK, guys, I know this was short too but sometimes in chapters I just get to a point where I feel I have to end it. But I promise the next chapter won't be far awayJ Love you all!!! Xoxoxoxoxo KellieBean