A/N: I haven't been in a particularly funny mood lately, so I've been hard-up for writing humorously. It's also been difficult to write something different than the dozens of other humor/humor chapters I have for various other stories.
BUT… you folks don't wanna hear about these problems ^__^ So… here's my latest attempt. Thanks to Lizz for suggesting the return of Goku the guard. I'll take other suggestions too; it's always more interesting that way ^__^
ON WITH IT!!!!
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Part
Two: Rocks In The Head
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Goten and Trunks reached Boulder Mountain and gave celebratorious shouts of celebration. It was a celebration, indeed. The boys had decided that when they were finished smashing their faces against boulders, they would figure out what the hell happened to all the people on Earth.
Trunks was the first to land on top of the lump of raised relief, also known as a mountain. He picked up the largest boulder in sight and raised it over his head. He yelled, "Hey Goten! Beat this one!"
And Trunks dropped the boulder so that it fell on his head. Of course, being Saiyajin (well, demi-saiyan), his head was harder than any rock… unless the rock were made of Unobtanium ("Copyright of the morons who made 'The Core.' Don't go see it, ever. Unless you want to see a hilarious joke about what moviemakers think of geology.").
Where was I? Oh right… The rock that was larger than Trunks' body. He made powder of that rock. Needless to say, he was temporarily stunned. But soon, Trunks was laughing hysterically and standing with his triumphant hands on his hips, daring Goten to find a larger boulder.
And whaddya know, the raven-haired boy did find a larger rock. And in the same manner as his friend, Goten smashed the rock on his head, stunned himself, then fell over in laughter.
In retaliation, Trunks picked up an even larger rock and threw it into the air. He launched himself after it, flying high into the sky. When he was in reach of the projectile, Trunks arched his back then flung himself forward with great force. His face smashed into the rock and it shattered to pieces. He yelled, "SUCCESS!" And sounded rather silly, though it wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last.
Trunks watched from the air as Goten did the same. Feeling inadequate against his friend who performed those feats with amazing ease and grace that Trunks did not have, he challenged Goten to a duel. They would both take rocks, and on the count of ONE, hurl the rocks at each other. Last one standing would win.
Except, Trunks never told Goten that they were going to duel.
Instead, Trunks just picked up the largest boulder on the mountain, and when Goten's back was turned, chucked it at his friend's head.
Of course, Trunks was the winner.
And Goten didn't stand up for a long time.
It was three hours, in fact. A few times during this period, just to be considerate, Trunks poked Goten with a stick. Or maybe that's being inconsiderate. Speaking of inconsiderate, during the three hours, Trunks decided it would be fun to dress Goten up like a hooker. So of course, he flew to his house and grabbed some of his mom's clothes.
Perfect, Trunks thought, admiring his fashion-attack on Goten. But something was missing from the ensemble… Oh of course! How could I be so stupid, Trunks pounded himself on the head ("Like he needed anymore of that"). Accessories and make-up!! Trunks flew BACK to Capsule Corporation again, screaming things in the air, such as, "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" and "Bippidy–zippidee-whoopidy-woozers!"
Yeah, you know, things that SANE people might scream as they're flying through the air. Okay, so Trunks got the rest of the crap he wanted from various stores in West City. Technically this was stealing, but c'mon, were the gorillas going to arrest him? Right…
So Trunks finished playing dress-up with Goten. ("I'll not go into the details of his attire right now, but…") Trunks was so pleased with the end result that he passed out on the ground from laughing so hard. Not only did he pass out on the ground, but he fell right on top of Goten.
After that, it was quiet and calm. For awhile. Then you could hear footsteps ("…Well you could if you were there, but you're not, so you'll just have to believe me."). From over the crest of the mountain, a lumbering figure walked toward the two collapsed boys. Because there were no other humans on the earth (and assuming it wasn't some other living organism), it would be safe to assume that the figure was a gorilla. And it was. Amazing.
Even better, this gorilla was wearing the uniform of a castle guard. And his stomach growled. Well duh, it was Goku the gorilla. And he saw the boys lying on top of each other. Well, actually, Goku-gorilla only saw one boy. The other one was wearing a skanky dress and make-up, so he could only assume it was girl. A skanky girl.
A lavender-haired boy lying on top of a scantily clad girl. ("Ohhhhh, I wish t'were me… Oops, sorry" ^_____^) Anyway, Goku-gorilla had nothing better to do, so he sat next to the apparent lovers ("Ew!") and picked bugs out of their hair.
Okay, he didn't find any bugs, because they have good hygiene, but it didn't stop him from looking… for three hours… until the next chapter is posted. ^__^
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A/N: Moral of the story – Stealing is okay ONLY if your world has been taken over by gorillas. And it doesn't count if the gorillas only exist in your head.
Author: Hmmm, Gorillaz… I ain't happy, I'm feeling sad / I got sunshine in a bag / I'm useless aaaaaaaaAAAAAHAHHHHHHH, No please don't arrest me! I didn't mean to steal the lyrics! It's not my fault that song is so damn catchy!
Lawyers: Too bad! We caught you, now off to jail you go!
Author: Don't I get a trial and stuff?
Lawyers: Uhm no. That takes too long.
Author: Then shouldn't the police be bringing me to jail?
Lawyers: Oh yeah…
Police: Awl righty now, off tah jail wid ye.
Author: What the HELL kind of accent is that?!
Police: Shut up.
Author: No really, I have no idea what that is. Where the fuck are you from, Medieval England?! Or is it the deep south in America? I can't tell.
Police: Y'all bettah shut up now, before I–
Author: Before you what? Are you going to arrest me twice?!
Police: Nope.
WHACK! Author is knocked out cold.
Lawyers: We got dibs when the Author wakes up and sues your ass!
Police: D'oh!
A/N: Tune in next time, when the Author is in jail and files a law suit against the Police.
Oh yeah, some stuff happens with Trunks and Goten, too. Think: Amnesia!