METAL GEAR SOLID
By Josh D. Blanco
© 2003 Josh D. Blanco
Hey! So, you're here for more, eh? Good!
Disclaimer: Duh. KCEJ owns MGS. I own a copy of the game. That is it. I want MGS to be mine!
CHAPTER I:
Infiltration
0415 hrs.
Bering Sea
USS Discovery; Torpedo Room "1"
INTERCOM: Launch the SDV!
TORPEDOMAN: Sir! Now, Sir?
CAPTAIN: StarCraft's cool… um… fire!
(IN THE SDV)
SNAKE: SDV good to go, Sir!
(LAUNCH)
SNAKE: I think I'm gonna hurl… [sounds of puking heard]
ALL in SUB: Eww.
0437 hrs.
Shadow Moses
Deep Sea Dock
LIQUID: Stay alert!!! He'll be through here. I can feel it… Oh, yeah! The "Bothersome Fly" scene's been retimed so that's it's at the helipad. May the Force be with you.
GENOME #0.1: What… you're some sort of Jedi or something?
LIQUID: [evilly grins] …um… [pulls a lightsaber from the 4th Dimension & kills #0.1] …yes! [hauls the corpse & goes up]
SNAKE: [swims in] Man, only two dudes here? How simple is this mission?
|INTERRUPTION|
Some things to remember:
+123.45 (John Doe) = Codec call, # represents freq., Name
%%% = Starts/Ends Codec call
|END INTERRUPTION|
SNAKE: Why did the author even put that up?
+140.85 (Colonel/Naomi)
SNAKE: …oh…
%%%
CAMPBELL: Good. You made it. Remember that all items must be acquired OSP (On-Site Procurement), so grab anything useful.
SNAKE: Like this? [pulls out some cigarettes]
NAOMI: Cigarettes are bad!
SNAKE: So? They help the mosquito problem!
CAMPBELL: In any case, get to the elevator. If you make it within one minute, you get a +100,000 point bonus.
SNAKE: Cool. Later.
%%%
SNAKE: Two guards… what could go wrong? [walks in a puddle]
GENOME #1: Huh? What was that noise?
SNAKE: Shit.
GENOME #2: Huh? What was that noise?
SNAKE: Double shit.
GENOME #1: !!!
(ALERT MODE)
SNAKE: Aah!
GENOME #2: What are ya' waiting for? Get him!
[Snake dives in the water.]
GENOME #1: But, Sir! I can't swim! [starts breaking down & crying for his mommy]
GENOME #2: Why do I even bother? [pulls out swimming trunks from the 4th Dimension]
SNAKE: [Calls: 140.85 (Colonel/Naomi)]
%%%
SNAKE: …mmelp! Mi man't mwim! [sounds of drowning]
NAOMI: What an idiot. Snake, if you can't handle it, then climb to the kiddies' pool! *sigh* Why do I even bother?
CAMPBELL: *sigh* Watch out! Your O2 Gauge is decreasing! Get outta there!
%%%
(EVASION MODE)
GENOME #1: I'll get him! [jumps in water, forgetting that he can't swim.] Help! [drowns]
GENOME #2: Ha-ha-ha— [Snake holds him up] Uh-oh…
SNAKE: Time to die, you wuss. [snaps neck]
(NORMAL MODE)
[Snake gets out of the water]
SNAKE: Now where's that elevator?
+140.85 (Colonel/Naomi)
%%%
SNAKE: I can't seem to find the elevator. Where is it? [sees Colonel look at Metal Gear Solid: Prima's Official Strategy Guide] Colonel!
CAMPBELL: Hm…
NAOMI: Um… Colonel? Snake… [taps Colonel]
CAMPBELL: Wha- [sees Codec is on] Oh, sorry, Snake. The elevator? Why, it's… [hurriedly flips through guide] …I don't really know…
SNAKE: ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!
%%%
LIQUID: [from the top of elevator] You're here early, Snake! Oh, I almost forgot…
[elevator starts going down]
LIQUID: SORRY!
SNAKE: Whatever…
[elevator arrives w/ Genome #3]
GENOME #3: [walks to Snake] Hi. I'm Genome #3. I specialize in hardware, shopping—
SNAKE: Yeah, yeah, I've read your resume. *bam* Wait a minute… how'd I shoot him if I ain't got no gun!?
[elevator goes up]
SNAKE: Whoo-hoo! I'm on the elevator! [looks for his watch] Now where the heck did it go? It should have the Mission Elapsed Time on it… here it is!
WATCH: 00:15 (HA-HA. No bonus for you!)
SNAKE: Damn! No bonus!
[the title is seen appearing on Snake—]
SNAKE: Ow! Stupid author! This hurts! Get it off!
[…um… I mean… above Snake… heh. Sorry! "Tactical Espionage Action; Metal Gear Solid."]
SNAKE: I got one question. Why aren't the game series titled "Solid Snake" or something like that? I mean, look at Super Mario. His games are like, "Super Mario Sunshine", "Mario Kart 64", or maybe even "Mario Land". But why "Metal Gear Solid"?
You know… that's a good question. "Snake's Revenge" didn't count. Sheesh, I'm not even sure if Prima even made an MGS guide. Don't need it anyway… beat the game 'bout 5 times in 2 days…