HOW METAL GEAR SOLID REALLY HAPPENED
By Josh D. Blanco
© 2003 Josh D. Blanco
Well… here's chapter 9.
I actually did it! I kept on putting it off until now!
So, here's some announcements:
CONTEST #3 is OVER!
Our winner: Pablosky!
Sorry, Riak Karasawa: You almost had it, but #30 was actually a Zerg Infested Terran, not an Archon. Sorry. But don't worry! I'll insert you in Chapter 10.
CHECK MY BIO!
Now, the first things listed are announcements, like possible release dates, status reports, etc. If you want to get an idea of release dates, check out my bio!
DISCLAIMER: We all know the drill. I don't own Metal Gear Solid. Or Yu-Gi-Oh! Or Triple X. Or anything else.
Chapter IX:
The… the… Medicine…
[doors open to B2F of the Warhead Storage Building]
SNAKE: Hmm… what was I supposed to do? [calls Naomi]
%%%
NAOMI: Hey, Snake. Um, why are you calling?
SNAKE: Well, I was in the Codec menu and I tried to dial 140.85 to reach Colonel.
NAOMI: Well, in case you haven't heard, he's been hauled off to Mantis' "Psychotherapy Facility." I heard Mantis is the CEO, while Ocelot was the #1 employee…
SNAKE: Anyway, I'm guessing you're in charge for now.
NAOMI: Yep!
SNAKE: Do me a favor and figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do.
NAOMI: Okay!
%%%
SNAKE: Maybe knocking against this wall? [leans against the wall in order to knock]
[camera moves to see what's on both sides of the wall, revealing part of a room, blue carpet, and some geek-looking dude]
SNAKE: Whoa! Who the hell is the geek? [receives a call]
%%%
ME: Say that again and I'll throw you into the exact same prison cell that the Colonel is using!
SNAKE: NOO!
ME: Then apologize!
SNAKE: …
ME: …
SNAKE: I was talking to the guy in the other side!
ME: Oh… okay. You can go.
SNAKE: 'kay! …Dumbass.
ME: WHAT!?!?!?
SNAKE: …
%%%
SNAKE: [knocks on wall in hopes of hearing the sound that indicates, "Hey, you can blow me up with C4, shithead!"] Um… hello? Anybody there? Answer…
???: Aah! It's Kaiba here to kill me with his Blue-Eyes White-Dragon! Please spare me!
SNAKE: Yeah… [leaves and goes to the gassed room]
[some more flashes]
SNAKE: What the hell is this? Nerve gas? [receives a call from Naomi]
%%%
NAOMI: Actually, it's some sort of phosphorous-based nerve gas. Its primary role is to hinder the splitting of a major neurotransmitter known as acetylcholine. It can get into your system not only by your respiratory system, but through your skin as well. Good new is that your sneaking suit does have some materials commonly used in NBC gear. Also, the nanomachines I injected contain several amounts of FoxDie – er… a nerve gas neutralizer. Bad news is even those won't protect you during long exposures.
SNAKE: English, perhaps…
NAOMI: For the love of God! That gas is POISONOUS! It can KILL you!
SNAKE: Why didn't you say so?
%%%
SNAKE: Yeah… like's it's poisonous… [sniffs it and goes unconscious for 25 minutes]
[goddamn silence!]
SNAKE: [revived mysteriously] Cool. [gets a call]
%%%
DEEPTHROAT: Snake, watch out! That place is filled with gas!
SNAKE: No shit! Naomi told me that about 20 minutes ago!
DEEPTHROAT: Also, the floor is electrified!
SNAKE: Damn!
DEEPTHROAT: Well… see the wires on the wall?
SNAKE: What, you mean these? [points]
DEEPTHROAT: Yes. Go outside the room, and you'll see some sort of generator. Destroy it.
SNAKE: But how? I forgot to go to the first floor to pick up the Nikita launcher, and I'm too lazy to pick it up.
DEEPTHROAT: Well… I can give you a Nikita, but instead I prefer doing it the old-fashioned way… Yours for only $2.99! Accessories sold separately. Batteries not included.
SNAKE: I don't have $2.99, man! …But I do have $2.98!
DEEPTHROAT: Hmm… okay! Order will be ready soon…
%%%
SNAKE: I wonder how long my shipment's gonna take… [walks outside right when Genome #37 runs up to him]
GENOME #37: Hello, Solid Snake. Here's your order.
SNAKE: Thanks. [grabs the package and runs for his life]
GENOME #37: Hey! Where's the $2.98?
SNAKE: $2.98 my ass! [zips back and shoves a frag grenade down the pathetic Genome's throat]
GENOME #37: [muffled] …ohm, shit!
*bang*
SNAKE: Now where to? [fires the Nikita, which sends the missile into the wall] What the hell? [launches another, but somehow ends up smacking the wall] Cheap telemarketers! [shoots another missile, which – again – flies into the wall] This is shit! [calls Mantis]
%%%
SNAKE: MANTIS! YOU THERE!?
[Mantis is seen hobbling to the video screen. Currently, he has his left arm in a cast, and there are bruises all over his shoulders and body. Hmm… must have been about the Meryl porn… He's still holding an ice pack to his balls.]
MANTIS: [weakly] …what?
SNAKE: Okay. I'm sorry for messing you up after the last chapter behind-the-scenes when nobody was looking.
[Cut to end of Chapter 8, where I just told you to read and review.
ME: [just cut the chapter and found Snake beating the bloody hell out of poor Mantis] That unfortunate chap. Oh well.
MANTIS: Josh!!! *smack* HELP!!! *whack*
SNAKE: Oh, so [punch] the liar [jab] becomes a [wham] loser, eh? Geez, why the hell does the author make me say corny stuff?
ME: Because I don't bloody care.
SNAKE: [gets teary-eyed] WHAT!?
MANTIS: Lord, please forgive me of my sins…
SNAKE: Or, I should change your code name to "Praying Mantis!" Har-har!
ME: Enough! You bums are worse than those bloody American tourists!
SNAKE: Wait a minute… Josh isn't British! He lives in California!
ME: Well, you're right… [accent changes to one that sounds British] SNAKEEEEEEE! [takes mask off]
SNAKE: LIQUID!
MANTIS: BOSS!
RAVEN: [walks in the set] JOSH!? TRANSFORMED!?
LIQUID: Yes! It's me! Now, guess what? I'm off to bury the Patriots for good!
SOLIDUS: [walks in as well] What the- LIQUID!? I thought you were Josh!
ME: [over loudspeakers] SHUT UP!!!
LIQUID: Goddammit, Solidus! Wrong line!
ME: Good job, Liquid! Continue!
LIQUID: *ahem* I'm off to bury the Patriots for good!
SOLIDUS: You know where they are? How?
LIQUID: [brings up right arm] Why do you think I chose Ocelot as my host?
OCELOT: [walks in pushing a food cart] All right! I am the host of this par-tay and we'll all play Monopoly! I call the horse!
RAVEN: [runs over] I'll take the wheelbarrow!
LIQUID: That's not what I meant! ARR!
SNAKE: [still teary-eyed] You mean… *sniff* we're NOT *sniff* playing Monopoly?
ME: Nope. Can't do that. Sorry.
SNAKE: ARRGGGHHH!!! [suddenly transforms into a Blue-Eyes White-Dragon with a cute little navy blue bandana around his head] ROAR!!!
LIQUID: [notices that he, Snake, and Mantis are in some room with only one way out] Um, I need to go!
MANTIS: [runs for the door] Boss! Wait!
LIQUID: [turns around to face Mantis] You stay here.
MANTIS: Why, Boss?
LIQUID: Because I hate you. [slams door shut and locks it]
MANTIS: NOO! BOSS!
DRAGON: GRR…
MANTIS: Um… nice… Blue-Eyes White Dragon?
[and back…]
MANTIS: [weakly] Fucker.
SNAKE: It's not my fault! Do you got any Fusion Cards?
ME: Fusion Cards? This ain't Yu-Gi-Oh!
???: Oh, yes it is!
[Yu-Gi-Oh! theme plays over intercom while camera pans to show Yami Yugi, Joey, Tristan, and Téa]
YAMI YUGI: This fan-fiction will be moved to the Yu-Gi-Oh! fan-fiction section in a matter of seconds!
ME: What!? That's absurd! How are ya' gonna do that?
TRISTAN: By this!
[Joey tugs on some sort of leash. Seto Kaiba and Pegasus are seen with collars on. Both look like rabid dogs.]
TÉA: We drugged these two to bribe you into selling the story. So give up!
YAMI YUGI: Yeah!
KAIBA: I'll give you a billion!
ME: Zen, huh?
KAIBA: Damn!
PEGASUS: My personalized deck featuring Toon World!
ME: Nope.
KAIBA: ALL of my Blue-Eyes White Dragons!
ME: It'll be too easy to win.
YAMI YUGI: How about me throwing in all of the cards for "Exodia: The Forbidden One?"
ME: COOL!
???: STOP!!!
[The ceiling breaks causing some nukes and desks to fall.]
SNAKE: Aah! It's the giant, frilly, all-around nice monsters! Get away! Aah! [runs away in sheer terror]
JOEY: What's with him?
ME: Suffers from "INSANITY."
TÉA: Oh.
SNAKE: AIIEEEEEEEEEEE! [rams through the walls to the room where he fights the Ninja] …they're *pant* gone…
NINJA: Where is my friend?
[Otacon is nowhere in sight.]
???: [from somewhere] Josh! Don't do it!
ME: [yells somewhere else] Give me three reasons why I shouldn't give this story away, you son-of-a-bitch.
???: One, I happen to read this.
[a masked figure drops down from the hole]
ME: Uh… yeah… who are you?
???: I'm a reviewer of this story! [takes off mask, revealing the face of a person I don't even know]
ME: That was useless. I still don't know you.
???: What do you mean?
ME: Hello!? Look at the goddamn script!
???: Huh? [looks at script] Oh. You know me as soridcorps.
ME: Oh, yeah. A contest winner. Wait… did I just call you a son-of-a-bitch? My bad… I'm really sorry.
SORIDCORPS: Yeah, whatever. Second, I've seen the future. Trust me… you don't want to see this.
ME: See what?
SORIDCORPS: The demise of your hilarious story as the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh! buy it.
ME: Lemme see it.
SORIDCORPS: Don't say I warned ya'…
[warp to 10 years in the future, If I did sell the story]
SORIDCORPS: This is what happens.
ME: GASP!
[seen is Liquid firing nukes at the police, Ocelot and Raven on their 334,534,632,419th turn, Yugi's Dark Magician and Joey's Red-Eyes Black Dragon helping out Frieza, Android 19, Gannondorf, Bowser, Evil Majin Buu, Mecha-Genola, a wolf, some random Pokémon gone insane, a truck, Neo Cortex, some Metroid, Captain Falcon after using some speed and steroids at one time, Dark Link, Dingodile using a go-kart, an AT-ST, Infested Kerrigan, some Koopa Troopa, a handful of battle droids, an Ultralisk, Cell, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge wreaking havoc all over the earth]
ME: Whoa! Hold on a sec!
[everyone stops dead in their tracks]
ME: This is gonna be one hell of a disclaimer… *ahem* …I do not own the following: DBZ (Frieza, Android 19, Evil Majin Buu, Cell), Yu-Gi-Oh! (the characters), Pokémon, the Metroid series, the F-Zero series, Star Wars (the AT-ST and the Battle Droids), StarCraft (Infested Kerrigan and the Ultralisk), the Legend of Zelda (Gannondorf and Dark Link), Super Mario (Bowser and the random Koopa Troopa), the Crash Bandicoot series (Neo Cortex and Dingodile), a truck, and "The Twelve Days Of Christmas." Now back to where you guys came from!
ALL: ARGH! [vanish into their homes]
ME: Now that sucks. But I gotta admit: it's not so bad. I can live with this.
SORIDCORPS: Oh, I forgot to mention reason #3…
ME: What?
SORIDCORPS: Your personal privacy will be destroyed.
ME: Give me a break.
SORIDCORPS: Just look. [points]
[seen is a random group of characters]
SNAKE: Hey! Let's blackmail him!
YAMI YUGI: No! Let's trap his memories into a card!
RAVEN: [insert his famous monotone] Ha-ha, Ocelot. I finally bought Park Place and Boardwalk. Feel my wrath!
GANNONDORF: Toss him into the Evil Realm!
SORIDCORPS: Shut up! [pulls out an Uzi and kills them all]
SNAKE: I can't die! I've got a story to lead!
YAMI YUGI: You can't kill me! I made my useless Red-Eyes Black Dragon take the hit! So take that!
RAVEN: …I hate to say this, but you landed on Boardwalk, Josh. And it says on the card that you owe me about… $4,000,000.74. So pay up, chump.
ME: Dammit! I'm bankrupt!
RAVEN: [monotonic] Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
ME: But I'm the author. I can make you wear a frilly, pink tutu that says, "The Colonel and I are soul mates!"
RAVEN: Fine.
???: Your Red-Eyes? Don't you mean Joey's?
YAMI YUGI: Uh…
JOEY: Damn! My Red-Eyes! You're going down! Hey, "Animé Whiz Geek!" Thanks! [runs to Yugi] You son-of-a…
???: Uh… you're welcome?
ME: Wait… Otacon… you're not even supposed to be in this scene! Are ya'?
OTACON: Are you guys delusional?
SNAKE: [is drunk] …heeyyyyyyyyyyyy… neat flowers…
ME: Wait a minute… the only way that Snake can get drunk is in other people's fan-fics… or when he watches a porno… but none of these exist… so that means… SHIT! I'm high!!!
OTACON: Hello.
[insert some wavy vision]
SORIDCORPS: See? Don't sell it. Otherwise I'll make you high again! Got it! [waves Ziploc baggie w/ weed inside]
ME: Think again.
[50 Genomes pop outta nowhere]
SORIDCORPS: Whatever. [somehow vanishes into thin air]
GENOMES #38 - 88: He vanished, Sir!
ME: What do I pay you losers for!?!?
GENOME #44: Actually, Sir… you don't pay us at all.
GENOME #75: Don't they use that in every movie involving comedy and some dictatorship-like military force?
ME: NO SHIT!!! [pulls out an XM29 OICW/GL and kills the 50 Genomes until nothing is left] Snake… just get this over with. I gotta write the next chapter!
SNAKE: Okay! [walks with the Ninja and Otacon to the "Fight Scene"]
[…sometime later…]
NINJA: *ahem* Where is my friend?
OTACON: W-What are you talking about? [leaks his pants]
NINJA: [points the tip of his katana at Otacon] Don't make me use this!
OTACON: [sees Snake] Oh, great. What next?
NINJA: [turns around to see Snake] SNAKE!
SNAKE: …you're that… that… ninja…
NINJA: Hello!!!
SNAKE: Who are you?
NINJA: Ain't it obvious? I'm that-
SNAKE: …long-lost buddy?
NINJA: Uh… no.
SNAKE: …Samurai Jack?
NINJA: No…
SNAKE: Jet Li?
NINJA: …well… I wish…
SNAKE: …my mommy?
NINJA: …noooo…
SNAKE: My girlfriend?
NINJA: No.
SNAKE: Dark Link?
NINJA: [starts to get aggravated] No.
SNAKE: Cyrax from Mortal Kombat?
NINJA: NO.
SNAKE: Lieutenant Samir Duran from StarCraft: Brood War?
NINKA: NO!
SNAKE: Roy from Fire Emblem?
NINJA: NO!!!
SNAKE: The wheels on the bus that go "round and round?"
NINJA: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! GET IT RIGHT!!!
[long pause]
SNAKE: …Ooh! I know! That slutty, gay telemarketer?
NINJA: YES! FINALLY! HE GOT IT RIGHT! I'M SO HAPPY!
OTACON: [make a bewildered face]
ME: [is about to deliver some coffee to Mr. Kojima when the ninja's line is heard via intercom, causing him to spill the cups of coffee all over himself, resulting in second-degree burns and a free lesson in Japanese profanity]
LIQUID: [gets up out of his bed after hearing the Ninja] OH, MY GOOD LORD!
WOLF: [gets out of Liquid's bed] The Ninja said WHAT!?!?!?
RAVEN: GASP! [grabs his M61A1 Gatling Gun and shoots about thirty-something kids in the audience] You're not supposed to hear that, you little kids!
MR. KOJIMA: [is now on the seventh word] BAKA!
JOHNNY SASAKI: Um, that word isn't that bad…
OCELOT: [is about to roll the dice when he hears Ninja's line, making him mess up his so-called "lucky roll," resulting in a "Snake Eyes," which moved his piece to the "Go To Jail" space, causing him to lose all of his money (an approximate amount of $3,405,032.67), and making Raven and me point and laugh]
MANTIS: [gasps, but since he wears that mask, who cares?]
MERYL: Well, that's one guy down…
NASTASHA: Yup… [pulls out notepad and scribbles frantically to erase Ninja from the bachelor's list]
CAMPBELL: [somehow hears Ninja, although he's probably halfway across the U.S.A.] What the!?
NAOMI: [is making out with a crew member of the Discovery, when she hears Ninja, making her get up in shock and hitting the bulkhead, resulting in a mild concussion]
MEI LING: That guy's data is definitely not going to be saved! That is sick, you know that?
YOU: [insert response]
[complete silence]
NINJA: What?
OTACON: Um… I thought that you… um… uh… y'know… go for… *gulp* eh… girls… yeah…
NINJA: What did he say?
SNAKE: Um… well… Otacon's birthday's on Gay… err… May. Yeah. That's what he was saying.
ME: [opens the door] Also, about your katana… do you notice that your handle color somehow turned into some gay… I mean grey… color… yeah…
NINJA: What? Did I say something?
EVERYONE ELSE: [fall over animé style]
NINJA: Well… I take that as a "yes." Well… what did I say?
NAOMI: Um… look up about… maybe ¾ of the page.
MEI LING: [tries to look in her script, but to no avail] Um… Naomi? I don't see it anywhere…
NAOMI: Um… it's to Frank…
NINJA: Huh? Did I just hear the voice of the one person I hate? Huh? Did I?
SNAKE: Don't tell me he's insane!
OTACON: This reminds me of when I had this one time machine. We usually warped to the different worlds that existed. Of course we'd try to hit on the girls-
SNAKE: Um, who's "we?"
OTACON: Me and Josh.
SNAKE: JOSH!?!?!? [yells to the ceiling] This is not fair! You don't take me to places!
[insert magical warping as I – the author – materialize in front of the three stooges]
??? (x3): Hey!!! We resent that!
[the Three Stooges pop out of the locker]
THREE STOOGES: Tah-dah!
EVERYONE but RAVEN: …
RAVEN: GO TO HELL!
[the heavens open revealing a face that looks like… ME!?]
ME: WHAT THE!?
SNAKE: HUH!?
NINJA: Oh, my God! The after-effects of LSD!
ME (Face): YES! ME!
ME: …Whoa…
SNAKE: Uh…
NINJA: Um…
ME (Face): Raven, I don't think you believe in God.
RAVEN: (monotonic) It's called, "Damn the script editors!"
ME: Right…
ME (Face): …Right! So, where were we?
RAVEN: Um… oh, yeah! GO TO HELL!!! [grabs his M61A1 Vulcan and kills the Three Stooges] YA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
ME (Face): …o…kay! [vanishes]
NINJA: [rubs his head] To more pressing matters! *ahem* Now, Snake! Make me feel it! Make me feel alive again!
SNAKE: Okay! But how?
NINJA: [in an evil tone] I know how…
SNAKE: [worriedly] Eh…?
[One day later…]
[Snake and the Ninja are seen riding one of those kiddie roller coasters – the type seen in those county fairs]
NINJA: [holding hands in the air] Whoo-hoo! C'mon, Snake! You gotta do this! Put your hands up in the air!
SNAKE: You're shitting me.
[all the kids on the ride start to cry]
SNAKE: To hell with this shit!
[Yorgi and Kirill from Triple X appear out of nowhere]
YORGI: That's my line. Kirill!
KIRILL: Right, my friend! [pulls out his sniper rifle]
YORGI: Shoot that bitch!
*bam!*
DOG: Arf! [dies]
YORGI: Wrong type of bitch, bitch!
KIRILL: Whoops. My bad. [pulls out his pistol and shoots himself in the head]
YORGI: Whoops. [pulls out an M4A1]
[meanwhile…]
SNAKE: Huh? Ninja?
NINJA: WHEE!
SNAKE: [sigh]
[back to Yorgi]
YORGI: Son-of-a-bitch!
[moving to the viewing scope, where the Ninja and Snake are seen on the kiddie roller coaster]
YORGI: Almost there…
[Ninja hits Snake on the head]
YORGI: Almost there…
[Snake pulls out a grenade that blows up half of the fair]
YORGI: Ah-hah! Time to die! [pulls the trigger]
[…somewhere else in the fair…]
MANTIS: [holding some… wait… is that my slo-mo device!?] Ahh… I love the fair. Now, what does this thing do? [click]
[the slo-mo is on, and we move back to the roller coaster…]
YORGI: Yes! Die!
SNAKE: [senses something wrong]
NINJA: Snake! Come on! Put your hands up!
SNAKE: [crosses arms]
NINJA: [slowly changes tone to a rather annoyed one] Snake… Come on. I said put your hands up.
SNAKE: [frowns]
NINJA: [in an aggravated tone] Put your hands up…
SNAKE: [looks away]
NINJA: [singsongs angrily] Put your hands up…
SNAKE: Hell, no.
NINJA: [in a state in which anger management won't even help at all] I SAID PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!
SNAKE: NO.
NINJA: I'm gonna - YEARGH! [the bullet hits his arm]
[back to Mantis]
MANTIS: …so… this… [turns off slo-mo] turns it off. Ah.
[…and back…]
SNAKE: [happily sighs as the ride is over] Good. [watches as the kids keep crying to their mommies and daddies] Hmm… wonder what got into them… [notices the Ninja…]
NINJA: Damn the Patriots! AGH!
SNAKE: What a pathetic, gay fag. Such a waste.
NINJA: …help…
YORGI: Shit. That fucking ninja!
SNAKE: Ah, so you are the one who shot him…
YORGI: SHIT! [runs away]
SNAKE: [pulls out an M249 SAW] See ya'! [fires]
[none of the bullets even come close]
YORGI: Learn how to shoot, you piece of shit!
SNAKE: [grabs the Number 1 Best-seller in Barnes & Noble: "Learn How to Shoot, You Piece of Shit!" for Dummies, reads it for the next 60 seconds, and fires again]
YORGI: Yah-ha-ACK! [is hit dozens of times]
SNAKE: *phew* At least that's over.
NINJA: Why!!!!!!
[…1 Day after that…]
ME: Well, we're back! …everything, but Ninja's sanity…
[Snake, Otacon, and the Ninja are back in Otacon's lab]
OTACON: What's with him?
SNAKE: Don't know…
[The Ninja is on his hands & knees, hitting his head on the floor… hey, this floor feels soft! Cuddly!]
NINJA: The… the… medicine…
OTACON: Actually, Josh… that's 100% cotton. Cuddly, huh?
NINJA: The… the… medicine…
???: [walks in holding a gold tray, with twenty bottles of Advil, ten cups of water, an a pre-dissected frog] Here.
NINJA: HUH!?
SNAKE: Who the hell are you?
???: I am Pablosky! AKA: A Superior Being!
[insert lightning, thunder, and dramatic background music]
OTACON: What's with the added name and sound effects?
PABLOSKY: It was on my e-mail.
SNAKE: Oh.
OTACON: What's with the Advil?
PABLOSKY: Actually, it's synthetic LSD.
NINJA: MEDICINE!!! [chops open all of the bottles and eats all the tablets – not to mention the bottles]
PABLOSKY: [insert animé sweat drop]
NINJA: [sees some sort of geek-looking tomato with Psycho Mantis' green underwear on his head] Hee… hee-hee… har-har… LSD! LSD! Little Green Men are chasing me! Scientists are making it; President's taking it; why can't we?
PABLOSKY: O…kay… …um, I gotta go.
SNAKE: What!? Right now? [makes a hand gesture toward the Ninja. Currently, it looks like he's humping the computer mainframes and eating Otacon's DVD collections of Cowboy Bebop, Ranma, Count Down, Dragon Ball Z, and Sailor Moon]
OTACON: NOO!
ME: Um… let me see that Advil… [uses the LSD] …hey, baby! How about you and me, 7:00 p.m. sharp tomorrow?
[no response]
ME: C'mon…
[still none]
ME: Please?
[um… nope.]
ME: Bitch! [pulls out a Five-Seven and shoots the girl] …NO! What have I done!? I killed my love! Why'd you have to die, you fucking plastic bottle? Why?
PABLOSKY: That's it. The author got high. I'm leaving. Gotta work on my chapter. See ya guys!
SNAKE & OTACON: See ya'!
NINJA: [on the phone] Mr. President, is it true that you use LSD? Huh? Is it?
ME: [somehow on the other end] UH… YEP!
So this is it.
Read & Review.
E-Mail me.
Something.
Come on, people! Review!
…okay, I know I'm begging, but I'm desperate for feedback.
See ya in Chapter 10: The Duel…