Warnings: uncontrollable fluff, other pairing indications, bad "attempted" use of the Japanese language, and other stuff that I probably didn't mention.
Author's Note: HURRAY! I actually didn't disappear, if anyone's interested in knowing why I haven't updated in FOREVER! LOL. Actually, I've been a very busy Dai-chan, and if anyone hasn't read my birthday fic for Pato called Fear of Infinity, then please do! It'll really throw you for a loop and then some. The pairing? I guess I can tell, now, since it's posted. Tohma and Yuki *gasp* ^_^ Did I mention that it was smut, too? Haha, anyway, I'll ramble at the end, like I always do, so sit back and enjoy the heartbreak that has become Shuichi's and Yuki's life!
Track Ten: Secrets in the DarkShuichi sank further into the passenger-side seat of Eiri's car, the seatbelt stopping him from completely ending up on the floor. His thoughts were erratic, torn between the loyalty to his friend and to his lover, and for some unexplained reason, his heart said he was a betrayer. He'd left Hiro in that confining prison of plump nurses and their dreaded plastic cup of medication, kept company by a brother he had not seen or heard from since they'd graduated high school, and his chest was throbbing in rhythm with the pain he felt coursing through his entire body. The blonde-haired man lounging stoically behind the wheel as he drove hadn't been any help, either. Eiri had practically dragged him out of the room after Yuji had introduced himself, explaining that he was staying with his younger brother until his parents could arrange to visit him, and Shuichi hadn't gotten to protest. In truth, he still hadn't told the novelist what had happened backstage at the concert, and he wasn't sure he could force himself to. He didn't want Eiri threatening to do harmful things to Hiro before he'd even had a chance to talk with the guitarist first, and Shuichi was desperate to know what was on Hiro's mind.
Why had he done that to him? More importantly, why had Shuichi let him? He shyly peeked over at the writer through strands of pink, nearly pouting.
"Naa, Yuki-" Blazing golden eyes stabbed into his gaze before flickering back to the road.
"Quiet." A think silence floated over the interior of the foreign vehicle after that, leaving the singer feeling even worse than he already did. Long ago, he'd convinced himself that Eiri did love him, his persistence at trying to prove the act without actually saying anything was endearing, but Shuichi really wondered sometimes.
What did his lover see in him?
He could be too protective, he had to make sure his Yuki took care of himself properly –ate the right things, dressed warmly when it was cold- and he was constantly told how annoying and needy he was by his friends; even his lover had commented about those particular traits, but he could not understand. What good qualities did he have? He sang moderately well, no where near the level of Sakuma Ryuichi's mysterious talent but enough to drive fans crazy, and he was cute –why was pink hair such a turn-on?- but none of that was satisfactory. Hiro had never expressed what it was that made the singer a great companion, or why he dealt with his stupidity, but the general feeling of care and trust was there; Shuichi's stomach always twisted when he caught Hiro staring at him and smiled back. But...
Why did Yuki love him?
Did he even like him?
Shuichi nervously bit his lip, sniffling to rid himself of the remainder of tears gluing his eyelashes together, and he snuck another glance at the silent author. What was going on in his mind?
Was he mad? It seemed that he was almost all of the time except when he made love to him, but even then he was partially removed.
Was he going to punish him?
Shuichi thought about that for a moment and instantly decided to ignore the question completely. His imagination was too elaborate, and bringing a tyrant-like Yuki Eiri into his dreams was bound to be worse than the loving Yuki Eiri who had tied him up and whipped him.
"What are you muttering about, baka?" Violet eyes blinked at the novelist in surprise. Had he been talking to himself? Out loud?
"Anou...n-nothing," he stammered, Eiri's perforating gaze wrapping its cold fingers around his heart and giving it a painful squeeze. Shuichi could almost hear the words as easily as though the writer had spoken them himself, but he'd heard them so many times before that it was pointless to pay attention.
"Baka."
"Baka," Eiri mumbled, his fingers slipping into the pocket of his jacket to skillfully withdraw a cigarette that he promptly slipped between his lips.
"You always say that."
"You always say that," he added sarcastically, almost as an after thought, and Shuichi couldn't help the feeling of insecurity washing over him. Eiri was so easy to predict, but the singer wouldn't have had it any other way. He loved the stubborn, hardly-considerate author with every particle of his being, and nothing, absolutely nothing, would change the fact that he would fight for him, travel halfway across the world for him…die for him.
He prayed that was true, anyway. The incident with Hiro, who was supposed to be his best friend, was quickly diminishing the idealism in his brain that he and Eiri were meant to be together forever. He didn't want that.
He didn't want that at all.
"That's not true!" he exclaimed without warning, causing Eiri to jerk the car a little too hard to the left and nearly miss the turn he was going to make. He straightened the vehicle immediately, pulling into the designated parking space close to their apartment, and once the ignition was off, he sucked the cigarette down until it was gone, angrily staring out the window without heeding the oddly blushing boy beside him. Shuichi fiddled with the seatbelt, repeatedly fastening and unfastening it to occupy his mind, and the larger pale hand gripping his fingers unexpectedly almost made him scream in surprise. Eiri brought the tips of his delicate digits to his lips, the remains of his first infatuation already neatly disposed of, and he ran his tongue over the tanned skin, loving the wide-eyed expression filtering across the singer's face. "Y-Yuki?" The novelist smirked smoothly before slipping the confining strap around Shuichi and tugging him forward, sprawling him on his lap, leaving him trapped between his chest and the steering wheel.
"Quiet," he whispered, more conviction in his voice than there had been the first time, and Eiri tilted Shuichi's chin up, his eyes fluttering shut as their lips interlocked, the savory taste of familiar strawberry flowing into his mouth. The pink-haired vocalist stared in shock at the contour of Eiri's face, wondering what had possessed his lover to do something completely un-Eiri like, but his mind was too focused on enjoying this new form of affection to really think about that or anything else, and he leaned into the kiss, his hands moving up to grip the writer's shoulders. Eiri pushed his tongue into Shuichi's mouth, wallowing in the soft moan emitting from the other's throat, and his fingers tightly clutched locks of silky magenta, driving the singer away from his mouth and into something hard behind him. He was half-straddling the older man, and he slid his other leg over his thigh, their hip gliding perfectly into place. Eiri groaned at Shuichi's weight pressing down him, and he reconnected their lips, biting at the soft flesh supplely moving beneath his own, teasing him.
"Yuki…" His name flowed through Shuichi's vocal cords, sounding much huskier than the normal high-pitched tone of the single word, and the lithe singer ground their pelvises together, eyes shut tightly to relish the sensations flooding his body. Eiri always made him feel this way; when he was with him he felt vulnerable, elegant, and maybe a little more wanton than others would have thought, but Hiro had known. The guitarist had felt his excitement, had perceived how restless he'd been in his arms without the feel of lips demanding entrance to his mouth, without hands pillaging his fragile skin, and the guilt was suddenly so overwhelming that Shuichi twisted back, the presence of tears already burning his eyes. He stared into Eiri's usually impenetrable gaze, something virtually resembling sorrowful lust reflecting back at him, and Shuichi felt a tear slip down the side of his cheek.
He couldn't do this.
"What-" The resonance of Eiri's incomplete question spread humiliation across his face, and Shuichi trembled fiercely, afraid to admit to himself what he was feeling. He wanted to touch Eiri, to kiss him, to do those dark, forbidden things to him, but he was being denied the only thing he had ever truly wanted. A sob was wedged in his throat, and he could feel his heart breaking into tiny pieces.
"I…I can't," he stammered, blindly reaching for the handle of the door even as his brain filled with images of flowing crimson hair and hard, guitar-playing hands and not the golden, pale-skinned creature before him. "G-gomen, Yuki…I-I can't…" And, he slid off of his lover's lap, gracefully slipping from within the vehicle before sprinting off into the surrounding darkness, his now audible cries echoing loudly in the empty garage. Eiri stared after the singer, blinking in surprise at his sudden refusal –Shuichi had never said no to him before- and he rested his head on the edge of the steering wheel, his vision becoming blurry with the thing he dreaded most. He could not understand the vocalist anymore –not that he had really been able to in the first place- but Shuichi's ever-altering moods were actually frightening him.
Would he end up losing what he'd finally found? Eiri couldn't let that happen, but how was he to stop it? What could he possibly say or do to make Shuichi realize that he did, in fact, love him?
He loved the annoying little singer and his crazy antics, but he couldn't prove it.
He loved his spunk and creativity and the cheerfulness that derived that strange laugh from his exquisite throat, but he couldn't tell him.
He loved him more than life itself, but he had never said a word about it.
He loved him.
He loved him…
He was such a fool, and Eiri felt the solitary trail of a tear washing the skin of his face before a wave of involuntary crying cascaded down his cheeks.
* * *
Yuji lounged in an uncomfortable hospital chair, aware of the time –it was beyond visiting hours, but he didn't care- and the slight wheezing breaths his brother made as he took small mouthfuls of air. Hiro's countenance was ivory in the moonlight, much paler than it normally should have been, but the reassuring sounds of his quiet mutterings as he slept put the older Nakano at ease. It was weird for him to be watching over his sibling like this, he had always thought Hiro was nearly indestructible –if someone told him no, he'd bounce back and prove he could- but the reality of life was too hard to actually contend with now. He'd always wanted to be there for him, to show him things that older brothers would, but he had to grow up despite his claims of staying a child forever, and Hiro was walking proof that something could be made from nothing. Hiro played guitar for a popular band, was stalked by thousands of crazy fans that desperately wanted him to at least acknowledge their presence, and had made his dream real. Yuji was still trying to find what he was good at, but he'd learned to face the truth; he loved what he did and it didn't matter how famous he was.
Had Hiro learned that lesson, too?
"N-n-nuh…S-Shuichi…" Hiro moaned, almost turning onto his stomach in his fit of dreaming, but the subconscious will of his body knowing that it was in pain remained dominant, and he only twisted onto his side. Tendrils of red tumbled over his neck and upper chest, veiling his features, and Yuji was instantly beside him, carefully checking over him for signs of further injury. He almost laughed at his jumpiness a moment later, knowing that Hiro would have woken up if he'd been in pain, and he moved back towards his seat, thinking to rest a little before the time came to reacquaint himself with his stranger of a brother. He hadn't talked him for a little over a year and… "N-naa, S-Shuichi…I-I'm sorry…" Yuji's eyebrow arched in question at the words emitting from Hiro's mouth, and he only shook his head, quietly wondering what the other was fantasizing about.
What did he have to be sorry for?
But Yuji would never know just how truly sorry Hiro actually was.
TBC-
Author's Note: *sobs* I know I'm evil! I've had so many people tell me that that I've actually started believing it, but I do know that several of my faithful reviewers will hate me for the following things to come. This is just the tip of the ice burg, everyone! O.o LOL. Anyway, how'd you like the interesting Yuki and Shu scene in the car? Was it believable? To be honest, I find it SO hard to writer Shuichi because he's one of those people that I cannot relate to very well. He's energetic, fun, noisy, loud, endlessly talkative, and an enigma! That's not in my writing files. I can write Yuki (and supposedly Aizawa) but that's pretty much it. . I need help. *laughs*
Reviews:
Black Dios: I'm glad Red Moon went bai-bai for a while! Knowing me and my slowness at updating, she probably came back, though. *sigh* Anyway, Track Nine was strange? How so? Really? WOW! Perhaps it was the Tatsuha thing? He is difficult to write because he's just a loose cannon. He's the complete opposite of Eiri, but he's not at all like Shu or Ryu. O.o Eh…wooden mallets and flame throwers? Has Red Moon been hanging out with K?
StarryEyedChick: HURRAY! My faithful reviewer! *glomp* You love Ayaka? LOL. To each his (or her) own, but personally, I don't like her. I could get into a long debate as to why, but that would take up too much space and be rather redundant. -_- I think I did good, considering that I didn't bash her into the ground, ne? ^_^ YEAH! Tatsuha scene a success! You wouldn't believe how difficult he is to write and get right. . It's just insane, and besides that, I have to keep in mind that he's a teenage boy, too. How am I supposed to know what teenage boys think? I'm not one, so it's hard. LOL. Ah, yes, Ryuichi and Yuji. For some reason, as I wrote that, I thought 'I need someone that Ryu might "know" but not know know,' and he popped into his head. You've gotta love the man, even if he isn't given enough credit! He's Hiro's older brother! What more could you ask for? ^_~ Oh, and I'm sure Ryu would appreciate the comfort, but Aizawa…ah, my Ai-chan. So many bad things have happened to him. I think TOOG is going to become one of those sympathy fics…not to mention a huge Shuichi*Hiro *cough* Hurry up with WYG! Must read…*dies* Eh…
Silverone: Yep, dedicated to you! Did you like it? Was it good? I thought you'd like it because it had Aizawa and Ryuichi, my two favorite bunnies! *glomps them* And, aren't you just dying to know why Aizawa had a pink dress in his closet? LOL. That makes for a very good one shot idea, ne? *thinks evil thoughts* Oh, just one more question. Why is Hiro running for his life, exactly? *laughs*
EternalDreamLand: *blushes* WOW! I've never received so much praise in one sentence before. Thank you! I'm glad that you're enjoying this so far. It's rather difficult to write something that will please a large amount of Gravi fans, and despite the fact that I know I'm supposed to be writing it for myself, I can't help but keep my readers in mind when I write. I'm also relieved to hear that the characters are in character. I hate it when characters are OOC, unless it's an AU, but even then I have preferences. *sigh* I'm just too hard to please, ne? Well, I hope this chapter suited you!! ^__^
CJ-Chan: NO! Don't cry because of what happened to Ryuichi! *sobs* I know this is sad (well, it's angst, how can it not be?) but I promise things will work out for him. No worries! ^_~ I know this had nothing to do with Ryuichi, but the next track will answer some questions and really make you wonder about Ryu-chan's sanity. O.o SHHHH! It's a secret!
Lara: *bows* I know I'm evil, and I'm happy that you agree. *huggle* I'm sorry it took so long to update. You can punish me if you like. I've been very busy, though it's not an excuse. I finished Pato's fic for her birthday, posted that, and decided that it was definitely past time to update this. I keep ahead with my chapters so that I don't fall behind, though I am suffering a little. I'm only working on Track Thirteen right now, but Track Twelve took A LOT of effort. . So hard to write something like that. Oops…Dai-chan's giving away things. I better be quiet. Hope you liked this one!
Nerdygurl-1707: ^_^ Thank you!! You're jealous tha I know Pato, Silverone, and Aiko-chan? LOL. Email them! They're all really nice, and they talk to just about anyone, LOL. AWW! *glomp* I'm someone that should get reviews? THANK YOU! You're too kind! Continue the good work? No problem…the only actually thing I'll have difficulty with is finishing this. *gasp* I even have ideas for a sequel to this, thought people will murder me. *cries* I'm glad you are willing to support me! *huggles*
Phoenix51: Should I give you two answers since you gave me two reviews? LOL. I know I'm evil, thank you for pointing that out! ^_~ *blushes* I'm a fantastic writer? Thank you so much! WOW! I've gotten so much praise that I'm afraid it's going to go to my head, and then I won't be able to write anything good ever again. I don't want that to happen. Oh, and welcome to the wonderful world of TOOG! I'm so glad I've gotten new readers! I hope this track was enough for you, though I thought it was a bit short. The next one will be MUCH longer and much more intriguing! *grins*
Aiko: NAH! *glomp* Thank you SO much for reviewing! You know I'm going to love you forever because you're my best friend! Oh, and there's nothing wrong with hoping! Hope all you want! Remember, JJ still hopes that Dee will be his someday. *grin* No worries there. Mending Hearts is definitely awesome, and your Yuki*Shu scene is to *drool* DIE for! How do you do it? WAHOO! Five cheers for Ryu and Taki! My precious bunnies! *huggles* HITS! SETWR! Subaru has strange fantasies, LMAO. ^__^
Mirai Aira: Heh, I know you didn't review, but I have a feeling you read Track Nine. :P Anyway, just wanted to say, hurry up with Yuki15!!!! I can't take the anticipation. You are even worse than I am! *cries* Aria…can't…take it… *dies* Eh, you killed me. :P
Oh, and of course, how can I forget my lovely beta reader? *glomp* I'm going to go worship Pato now, and make sure she doesn't say she can't write. Damn. She does an even better job than I do! You can't deny it! *huggles* Happy Late Birthday, Pat-chan! ^__^ Remember, Dai loves you!!
Next Chapter:
"Come on," Ryuichi murmured, his eyes dark with hidden secrets and shimmering with un-spilt tears. "Let's have fun…Tohma…" The disbelief washing over the blonde-haired man was almost enough to stop his heart. There was a brief pause before the vocalist lunged at Tohma, knocking them both onto the linoleum tiles of the cold hospital floor. Ryuichi stared down at him, his slim legs straddling Tohma's hips, and the singer's arms captured his head in a cage, leaving him a prisoner to the other's administrations. Tohma could feel his pulse pounding rapidly in his ears, and his mouth was suddenly dry. Thoughts of Mika, the woman he shared his life with, the one he was married to, temporarily surfaced, but Ryuichi instantly made them vanish when he leaned down -blue eyes as black as his pupils- and kissed his mouth with fervor.
And, for the Taki lovers: (*heart eyes*)
Ma wrapped his arms around Aizawa's neck, pulling him into a hug, and the queasiness radiating from the center of his abdomen instantly vanished, the mixture of scents that were distinctly Ma's embracing his senses in a calm pool of void. Aizawa sagged into the warmth, his trembling fingers slithering up to twist in Ma's golden tresses, and Ma returned the gesture by running his hands gently back and forth across the disheveled material of the jacket Aizawa wore, trying to put him at ease.
"Tachi," Ma murmured into his ear. "You don't have to be afraid."
"I-I'm not." But, he was. His heart ached with an impossible stab of betrayal, chilling the core of his existence with frosty hatred, and Aizawa couldn't distinguish his sick, twisted fantasy from reality anymore. His band had shattered as easily as glass, falling apart without the support of a demonic producer disguised behind a golden halo of false promises, and his lover, his beloved bunny with sparkling sapphire eyes, no longer existed to him. Aizawa wanted to claim them again, cradle them against his chest and never let them go, but he had no choice. He was living the life of someone else, now, not that of Tachi Aizawa.
Okay, we can all cry for my Taki now. *sobs* :P I'm evil, I know. I hope this warrants some extra nice long reviews! *nudge nudge* *wink wink*
Oh, and before I forget…I've been on a major writing spree as of late, and I would love to do a "surprise" gift fic-slash-one shot for someone. Plus, I got 100 REVIEWS, so I have to reward everyone somehow!! ^_^
Requirements (to win…haha, it's not a contest, but *shrug*):
Choose a pairing from Gravi, preferably a yaoi one. If someone wants a non-Gravi yaoi fic then get in touch with me to find out if I even know the anime the pairing is from! I'll go from there…
Explain (in pretty details) why they are your favorite, and what a good one shot must include, in your opinion. There are no right or wrong answers!
It's not hard, ne? Or, did I make it too hard?? *grins* And, to make it fairer, I'll have my lovely beta help me decide which deserves a fic. LOL. ^_^ Oh, and did I mention it was going to be smut? *laughs* I've been on a smut spree…though I haven't read much these days. Eh…also, I don't discriminate so that means anything goes! ^_^ If you don't feel comfortable leaving anything like that in a review (but you really want a fic) then email it to me!
I wonder who will be the lucky winner? *shrug* Does anyone even want me to write a gift fic for them? Probably not…*sad sigh*
PLEASE REVIEW!!