HOW METAL GEAR SOLID REALLY HAPPENED
By Josh D. Blanco
© 2004 Josh D. Blanco
Hey, everyone! Welcome to the New Year! Well, here's some of my regular announcements… and then Chapter 12!
MANY THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS OUT THERE! From people like Shade Wolf, Riak Karasawa, and Pablosky, and to the others who read the PG Version of this story, like Ted Toss and NeoLives! I appreciate your kindness and suggestions. Also, Dragon Master's Mistress, if you're reading this, maraming salamat! It helped me a lot!
THANKS TO HIDEO KOJIMA! Hey, Metal Gear wouldn't even exist without him! But I want Metal Gear!
METAL GEAR SOLID: THE TWIN SNAKES RELEASE PUSHED BACK! First from last winter, to February 2nd. Now it's March 15th. Make up your mind, will ya?
STORY STUFF:
[action]
*noise*
(thoughts)
DISCLAIMER:
Metal Gear Solid and all the other games in the Metal Gear series is not mine. Everything else in this poor, dumb story that I didn't come up with ain't mine either.
CHAPTER XII:
Why Buying a Sniper Rifle Is VERY EASIER Than FINDING ONE
NARRATOR: On the last episode of How Metal Gear Solid Really Happened, Snake was forced to find a PSG-1 back in the Armory.
SNAKE: Josh is so gonna rot in hell.
NARRATOR: Wolf is just sitting there, bored…
[Cut to the Underground Passageway, where Wolf has just joined Raven and Ocelot's new Monopoly game and is playing for the first time…]
WOLF: Okay… so, how do you play?
RAVEN: Roll the dice…
[Wolf rolls a 39]
OCELOT: What the? How'd she do that?
ME: Simple. [shows Ocelot two 20-sided dice]
OCELOT: And she got…
RAVEN: Boardwalk!? But… but…
WOLF: Boardwalk? What's so special about it?
ME: Well, the objective is to be the richest person in the game. Boardwalk can be very expensive after a while.
WOLF: OKAY! I'll buy it!
RAVEN & OCELOT: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
NARRATOR: …Meryl's just lying there, dying…
[cut to Meryl… who's not lying there dying…!?]
MERYL: Okay, Rex! Go get the stick! [hurls one over at the other side of the Passageway] Go get it, boy! Go!
REX: Arf! [zips off]
NARRATOR: …and Snake has to find a PSG1, but he doesn't even know where to start! Ha-ha!
[We now return to Snake… who's sitting down and looks like he's in extreme thought…]
SNAKE: Where to look? [calls Otacon]
%%%
SNAKE: Otacon? Otacon?
OTACON: Hey, Snake. What's up?
SNAKE: I need to find a sniper rifle. You know where to get one? Cause I really, really, really need one.
OTACON: Well, I'm not an authorized gun expert. I'll patch you through to another guy I know…
[the picture of Otacon switches to… ME!? COOL!!!]
SNAKE: Josh? You're the weapons expert?
ME: Uh, yeah.
SNAKE: But what about Nastasha?
ME: Uh… that can be explained in How Metal Gear Solid 2 Really Happened by Josh D. Blanco. Something about divorce or something… gimme time to make it up. She'll be back, anyway, so it's not like it matters.
SNAKE: But you're the author! Tell me what happens in MGS2!
ME: Um… okay.
SNAKE: [excitedly] You are?
ME: I was, but I CHANGED MY MIND!
SNAKE: Shit.
ME: Well, since I'm the weapons expert here… alright, what type of weapon or item?
SNAKE: ?
ME: [realizing that Snake is, once again, dumb] …or order…]
SNAKE: Er… a Big Mac, Super-sized fries, large Coke?
ME: Weapons! This ain't McDonald's!
SNAKE: Well, since you're the author, why don't you make one here? Right now?
ME: Well, I was, but since Pablosky, who was one of my first reviewers, said that he couldn't do Chapter 13 of this story, I decided to create it there.
SNAKE: Since when did Pablosky say that he couldn't write it? I don't see any evidence ANYWHERE! I even asked Otacon to hack into your Yahoo! account, but he found nothing!
ME: Check the reviews of the PG Version of this story.
SNAKE: You mean that one that's always at least two chapters behind this one and usually replaces the f-word with "Baka"? That crummy one?
ME: Hey! It ain't crummy! I made it so ANYONE could read it. That way, people who have some sort of reason not to read PG-13 or higher stuff – both personal and parental – can read How Metal Gear Solid Really Happened.
SNAKE: Oh. Okay. Now back to the weapons… uh… I needed one of those long-range thingies… those ones that can reach several hundred yards…
ME: [bluntly] …you mean "sniper rifles".
SNAKE: Yep.
ME: Bolt-action or semi-automatic?
SNAKE: Uh…
RANDOM PEOPLE READING THIS STORY WHO HAVE NO EDUCATION IN WEAPONS AND STUFF LIKE THAT: Um…
ME: *sigh* Okay… okay… a bolt-action rifle requires you to manually insert the next bullet into the barrel. But I know you guys and girls. You're all lazy-asses. Don't get offended – I'm one too. Semi-automatics load the bullet by itself. The thing is, bolt-action snipers are usually the more accurate ones. I don't know why.
SNAKE: …uh, what's Wolf got?
ME: She has a PSG1. It stands for Prazisionsschutzengewehr, or, translated from German to English, Precision – Protection Gun. It's one of those semi-autos I've been talking about, created by the famous gun company Heckler & Koch.. It fires the 7.62x51mm NATO round, which comes in either 5- or 20-round magazines.
[Nastasha butts in]
NASTASHA: It is accurate enough to shoot cleanly through a 2.5 centimeter square from a distance of 100 meters.
ME: If you don't use the metric system, that's around 110 yards. Or 330 feet. Or 3,960 inches.
SNAKE: Whoa… Okay! I'll take one!
NASTASHA: But what about other sniper rifles? Like the other H&K sniper, the MSG-90?
ME: …or the suppressable SR-25?
NASTASHA: …or Dragunov's SVD?
SNAKE: Nah. I'll stick with the PSG1.
ME: [disenheartedly] …okay… …the pickup counter is at the second basement floor of the tank hangar…
NASTASHA: [also disenheartened] …have a nice day…
%%%
SNAKE: Okay… all I gotta do is walk over to the Armory to grab it, then I can save Meryl. [starts walking away…]
[two "masked" people drop down from the ceiling and hold Snake up with a USP and a Glock 18c]
??? #1: SNAKE! HANDS UP!
SNAKE: Not again!
??? #2: We're not letting ya' pass, bitch!
SNAKE: Huh!? …wait… [looks carefully at the two people…]
??? #1: (Oh, shit. I left my beeper on. If Richard calls me, Snake'll know who I am!)
??? #2: (He better not be a mind-reader… CRAP! What if he is…? Um, hi? My name is not Josh. I repeat, it's NOT Josh.)
[A/N: In case you haven't guessed already, ??? #1 is Nastasha and ??? #2 is me]
SNAKE: …um…
[the masks are really plastic Wal-Mart baggies with eye and mouth holes…]
SNAKE: I think I know you two…
??? #2: Uh, no you don't! Stay away from my mind!
SNAKE: Bob?
??? #1: Don't worry, we're not gonna-
SNAKE: Fox?
??? #2: [hissing quietly] Nastasha! Shut up! You'll blow our cover and we'll have to force him to use another sniper rifle some other time! Dammit!
SNAKE: …wait… …it's on the tip of my tongue…
??? #1: Why don't you, you stupid geek!
SNAKE: (…if only there were some way I could figure out who these nutcases are… …at least one of them…)
*beep-beep* *beep-beep* *beep-beep* *beep-beep* *beep-beep*
??? #2: (Damn it all to hell!)
??? #1: Huh? What
SNAKE: (Thanks, God. That was fast.) Nastasha! I am NOT going to trade sniper rifles!
NASTASHA: Stupid beeper… [throws it on the wall and runs]
SNAKE: (…now what about this guy?)
??? #2: (If Snake figures out who I am, then I'm gonna raise holy hell…)
SNAKE: Josh? That you?
ME: [throws down mask] DAMN YOU TO HELL, SNAKE!!! [runs]
SNAKE: Oh, shit. If Josh just said "Damn you to hell," then I'm basically screwed. Oh, well. I might as well grab that PSG1…
[sometime later in the Nuclear Warhead Storage Building…]
SNAKE: Odd… it's so silent…
*cricket chirp*
SNAKE: It's like I'm about to…
[footsteps are heard]
SNAKE: What the-?
GENOME #92: FREEZE!
SNAKE: Damn…
GENOME #92: Say your prayers, Snake.
SNAKE: *sigh*
GENOME #92: You're about to die!
SNAKE: AAH!
*click*
SNAKE: Huh?
GENOME #92: What the-? I thought it was… oh, shit-
[Snake proceeds to place the guy in a chokehold, and snaps his neck]
SNAKE: Phew… [goes up the elevator]
[Nuclear Warhead Storage Building – 1F: Warhead Storage]
[sustained silence]
SNAKE: Again? This can't be good.
GENOME #93: ¡Helada!
SNAKE: Huh?
GENOME #93: Diga sus rezos, Serpiente.
SNAKE: English, perhaps?
GENOME #93: ¡Usted está a punto de morir!
SNAKE: Um… should I be scared?
*click*
SNAKE: Again!?
GENOME #93: ¿Huh? ¿El arma es vacío?
SNAKE: Well, I guess I should snap your neck. [snaps]
[more silence]
SNAKE: Oh, great. What's next? Another foreign Genome?
ME: [pops outta nowhere] Well, it was gonna be a hot, sexy, naked woman, but your idea is better. Thanks! [leaves]
SNAKE: DAMN HIM TO HELL!
[silence]
SNAKE: I shouldn't have said that…
GENOME #94: Gel!
SNAKE: Great… just what I need… a Frenchman.
GENOME #94: Dites vos prières, Serpent.
SNAKE: Dude, your gun's empty. Don't even try.
GENOME #94: Vous êtes sur le point de mourir!
SNAKE: …well… I tried…
*click*
GENOME #94: Ce qui dans le monde?
SNAKE: Too bad. [snaps his neck and leaves]
[Snow Field… or is it Canyon?]
SNAKE: Who's next? Oh, wait… no one's here. Oh well.
GENOME #95: [outta nowhere] Frost!
SNAKE: Not again!
GENOME #95: Sagen sie ihre gebete, Schlange.
SNAKE: Uh… could you repeat that?
GENOME #95: SieSIND im Begriff zu sterben!
SNAKE: Ten bucks says it's empty.
*click*
SNAKE: All right, cough it up.
GENOME #95: Dieses sollte nicht geschehen!
SNAKE: No money? Oh, well. [snaps his neck and moves on]
[Tank Hangar – 1F: Tank Garage]
SNAKE: *sigh* …anytime now…
[Genome #96 drops down]
GENOME #96: Замораживание!
SNAKE: Now THAT'S something I DON'T understand.
GENOME #96: Скажите ваши молитвы, Змейка.
SNAKE: ¿Puede usted hablar inglés?
GENOME #96: Вы должны около умереть!
*click*
SNAKE: That's it. He's gonna die.
GENOME #96: Дорогой Бог, нет!
SNAKE: [after snapping the guy's neck] Where to?
GENOME #97: Vorst!
SNAKE: Oh, God, not another one.
GENOME #97: Zeg uw gebeden, Slang.
SNAKE: Hmm… [Otacon calls]
%%%
OTACON: Snake, watch out!
SNAKE: For what?
OTACON: The Genome…
SNAKE: Oh.
[silence]
SNAKE: Well, I'll make a bet. If I get killed, I'll let you keep that Sniper Wolf centerfold I got.
OTACON: And if you live…?
SNAKE: …uh, I'll take one of those Hentai DVD's of yours.
OTACON: Okay. Uh, I mean, hold up-!
%%%
SNAKE: Sucker.
GENOME #97: U staat te sterven op het punt!
SNAKE: (Which DVD should I get?)
GENOME #97: Wat!? Mijn kanon is leeg?
SNAKE: Ah, who cares? [grabs the guy, snaps his neck and goes to the elevator] Hmm… I wonder how that Monopoly game is going… …I hope Wolf's winning…
[Underground Passageway – The Monopoly Game]
WOLF: [rolls] A four… ooh! Community Service! Ocelot!
OCELOT: *grumble* [grabs the top card and reads it] Ahem! "You have won a beauty contest. All other players must give you $10." Dammit! Not again! [forks $10 over]
WOLF: [smile] Beginner's luck, I suppose.
RAVEN: [after coughing up the cash] No. You are mistaken… this is not luck… [points to an enormous pile of Monopoly money – all Wolf's] …this is pure talent and skill!
WOLF: Hey, don't blame me. Who's next? Oh, yeah, Ocelot.
ME: (Unfortunately, Raven was right… that is pure talent and skill… my pure PSYCHIC talent and skill… MWAH-HAH-HAH!)
OCELOT: Come on, doubles! [rolls two 4's] Whoo-hoo! I rule!
RAVEN: [stifled laugh]
OCELOT: What's so funny?
WOLF: Oh, nothing… *cough* …loser! *cough*
OCELOT: Huh? [looks at the board and realizes…]
RAVEN & WOLF: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
OCELOT: "GO TO JAIL"!? NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Tank Hangar – B2F: Armory]
[elevator doors open]
SNAKE: Well, I'm guessing Genomes #11 and #12 are hanging out here. I mean, with those posters…
GENOME #12: [from the other side] Hell, yeah!
GENOME #11: [same thing] Damn straight, Snake!
GENOME #98: [walks up to him pointing his FAMAS] Freeze!
GENOME #11: Huh?
GENOME #12: I thought we were the only guys on this floor!
GENOME #98: Dica le vostre preghiere, Serpente.
SNAKE: What the-!!!
GENOME #12: Oh, shit! Snake! Get outta there!
SNAKE: This guy sounds serious… I don't wanna die!
GENOME #98: Troppo difettoso. Siete!
GENOME #11: NOO!
GENOME #12: NOO!
SNAKE: NOO!
*click*
ME: Some repeated anti-climax.
GENOME #98: Che cosa? Nessun ammo?
SNAKE: HAH! [shoots his SOCOM… but misses…]
GENOME #12: Holy fucking shit! #11! You see that!? He missed! Snake missed!
SNAKE: [just standing there with his jaw on the floor]
GENOME #11: Oh, my God! It's Apocalypse! [runs in terror]
GENOME #98: [while running off to the elevator] Eravate fortunati! Verremo a contatto di ancora!
*ding!*
SNAKE: …I… …I… …I mi-mi-missed…
GENOME #11: Hey, we all got our good days and bad days. Like, there was this one time where I walked into this one store, and they were fresh out of bacon… *sniff* WAAAHHH!!!
SNAKE: Man, that really sucks. By the way, you guys know where I can find a PSG-1?
GENOME #12: Uh, well, you're in luck. Nastasha said that she left it inside… um… [walks over to the "PSG-1 Room"] …right here. You got Card 5?
SNAKE: Uh, hold on… [calls Josh]
%%%
ME: Yo!
SNAKE: I don't have Card 5! Could you give me a hand?
ME: Um… hold on…
[Tank Hangar – B1F: Torture Room]
LIQUID: Ocelot, is… …"IT"… ready?
OCELOT: [holds up left hand as a gesture of saying nope] I still need to type some stuff.
LIQUID: OK.
OCELOT: I'll just hit the "Enter" key with my right hand… [looks at his right hand, but there is no right hand] AAH!
LIQUID: Bloody hell! [grabs the camera and looks at it] Literally, "Bloody hell"! LOOK!
[He points to where Ocelot's hand was. It's oozing blood!]
[Tank Hangar – B2F: Armory]
[a bloody hand suddenly falls from the ceiling]
SNAKE: Holy shit!
GENOME #12: Sick! [faints]
GENOME #11: [looks at #12] Heart of a lion, this one.
SNAKE: Hey… what's that? [picks up the hand, which is holding…] Cool! Card 5! Thanks, Josh!
ME: Anytime. [goes back to his SOCOM game on his PS2…] NO! Bravo, I told you to HOLD FIRE! Dammit, you just killed the hostages! Stupid frag grenades! Damn the Patriots!
%%%
GENOME #11: Man, this is weird…
SNAKE: So? I got Card 5!
GENOME #11: Well, it's in there. See ya' in a bit.
SNAKE: Okay. [opens the door and sees the PSG-1 case] Neat. [picks it up] Man, I gotta learn how to-
[the door opens, revealing YET ANOTHER Genome]
SNAKE: (Josh!!! What the fuck gives?)
GENOME #99: Huwag kang gagalaw!
SNAKE: Um… #11? #12? [peers outside, seeing #11, tranquilized, and #12, still unconscious] Dammit. Just when the Genomes get on your side, they become useless again. How – what's the word - gay. [calls Josh yet again]
%%%
ME: Take that, random terrorist guy who I just murdered in cold blood! Ha! [sees Snake on Codec] Shit, no! I mean, hi.
SNAKE: Um… help?
ME: Card 6?
SNAKE: No.
ME: Wolf centerfold destroyed?
SNAKE: No.
ME: Then what?
SNAKE: I'm being held up!
ME: You really need my assistance?
SNAKE: Um… [gulps] …yes?
ME: [heavily sighs, rolls eyes, and wishes Snake would shut up] AUGH! Okay. I'll send backup. Just… just… run!
%%%
SNAKE: [thinks fast] (Okay, Snake. Josh said for you to run. So, what do cartoon characters do in situations like this one? Hmm… Eureka! I got it!) Hey! [points to some random location behind Genome #99] A noise over there!
GENOME #99: [looks] Huh?
SNAKE: [zips away] YOINK!
GENOME: [realizes that it was a trick] Grr… [tackles Snake]
SNAKE: What the - ouch! [hits a wall]
GENOME #99: [points FAMAS at Snake] Saan ka papunta?
SNAKE: [gets up] Huh? What did you say?
GENOME #99: Mag dasal ka na, Snake. Mamamatay ka na!
*click*
SNAKE: Oh, yeah… I forgot about that!
GENOME #99: [dumps the FAMAS and pulls out a lethal kendo]
SNAKE: Goddammit, Josh, where the hell is my backup!?!?!?
ME: Right here! [grabs an M9 and shoots #99…]
[Sometime Later in the Armory…]
GENOME #99: [wakes up] Uhng…
GENOMES #11 & #12: [point guns at #99] FREEZE!!!
ME: (Wait… I think I forgot something that I was supposed to do… …like "Cameo Appearance Day" or something…)
GENOME #99: [holds hands up in fear]
SNAKE: [evilly grins] DIE! [points SOCOM]
GENOME #99: Ayaw ko pa mamatay!!!
ME: HOLD EVERYTHING! I remember now! In every chapter, it's "Random Cameo Appearance" Day! I simply take a random reviewer and somehow get them into the story! Problem is, I forgot who the random person was… damn the short-term memory… and damn the Patriots!
SNAKE: [flips the safety on and puts the gun away] So, you're saying that this Genome is a reviewer?
ME: [bluntly, as usual] Uh, yeah.
GENOME #12: So, how could you tell that this Genome [referring to #99] is one of your reviewers?
ME: Well, for one, I know some Tagalog.
GENOME #11: "Taga"-what?
ME: TAGALOG! It's a major language of the Philippines.
SNAKE: What, you speak it?
ME: Uh, no. I kinda lost the language.
MANTIS: [just appears] Fucking idiot!
ME: Hey, remember what happened the last time you called me a fucking idiot?
MANTIS: [cringes, but with that mask, who cares?] Oh, yeah… you told Snake to throw a frag grenade at my balls, right?
ME: [smiles happily] Yep! Anyway, I think I might be able to translate…
SNAKE: Okay… [talks to Genome #99] What's your name?
ME: [thinking] …um… Ano po ang pangalan nila?
GENOME #99: Ako si Angelica.
ME: Aha! I know you now! Dragon Master's Mistress, welcome to the set of How Metal Gear Solid Really Happened! Hold up… since when did this story become a movie? Well, anyway, to keep the story… movie – whatever! - …um… Kumusta?
DMM: Uh, I'm okay.
ME: Good. That's all I need to know.
SNAKE: For me, it ain't. First off, tell me what S3 stands for.
DMM: Um… since I'm a fangirl… um…
OTACON: [walks in] Anyone in certain animés, perhaps?
SNAKE: Otacon! No helping!
DMM: Sano, Seto, Snake?
SNAKE: [makes buzzer sound] Wrong. It's-
*crash*
[the walls broke. What?]
SOLIDUS: It stands for "Solid Snake Simulation", an exercise regimen that can shape any individual into Solid Snake, the perfect soldier.
ME: Wrong! It's "Selection for Societal Sanity" – which is what the Patriots are! Dumbasses!
SNAKE: Somehow I get the feeling all of us are in the wrong storyline. Who cares?
DMM: Um… don't you guys have to continue this story?
SNAKE: Maybe. Reason why it takes so long is that either Josh is an idiot, or he's a lazy ass.
SOLIDUS: [jabs Snake] Fool! That's what the Patriots want you to think. In reality he's dead.
ME: That does NOT make sense at all. How the hell am I dead if I'm here, and I'm writing this at home?
OTACON: 'Cause Solidus is an idiot. Now come on, let's just work on getting this chapter done with. I want my paycheck so I can buy more Hentai DVD's!
SNAKE: Screw that. I'll buy another copy of Girls Gone Wild: MGS Style.
SOLIDUS: In four years, I'll hijack – er, take – um, borrow – yeah, BORROW… um… the Patriots – eh, some top-secret organization – uh, a friend's – yep, a FRIEND'S Arsenal Gear – no, Metal Gear – nope, bicycle – yup, BIKE for an "Anti-Patriot Assault" – naw, a protest – nah, a demonstration – uh-huh, a DEMONSTRATION. Yep…
GENOME #11: Right…
DDM: I need to work on my fan-fics and stuff.
GENOME #12: Anyone got money for the camera?
ME: Ah, screw this. I'm getting this chapter over with.
SNAKE: HUH!? So soon?
ME: Well, let's just say that Chapter 13 will be, um, entertaining. Although ridiculously stupid… and that I'll need time to write it up. Okay, everyone, to the Underground Passageway!
[Underground Passageway – Monopoly Game]
WOLF: YEAH! I WIN!
RAVEN: Damn Boardwalk! WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
OCELOT: So that leaves me and Raven bankrupt, and Wolf with $182,851,354.83 in Monopoly money. Shit.
RAVEN: I hope you have your most valued possessions with you in your lockers.
WOLF: What for?
RAVEN: Liquid and his stupid TV show… you don't wanna know.
WOLF: Well, I might as well go back to my-
*BANG*
WOLF: AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! [shot in the head, dead]
SNAKE: Whoo-hoo!
OTACON: …Wolf? *sniff*
DMM: Yay! I told you he could kill her in one shot! Pay up, Mantis! Now… all my $20!
MANTIS: Jeez! Okay!
SNAKE: Now all we gotta do is check the body… [walks up to an empty spot] Damn… déjà vu.
WOLF: Freeze!
SNAKE: Aw, damn.
WOLF: You shot me, so I shoot you… heh, heh, heh…
ALL: GASP!
WOLF: HAH!
*click*
SNAKE: What the hell is wrong with all the weapons?
WOLF: Dunno, but, here. I'll rifle butt you!
*smack*
SNAKE: Ow… my head huts… but I don't think it's concrete. More like Otacon's office… soft, cuddly-
MANTIS: The 100% Cotton Floor?
SNAKE: No. They used 100% polyester here. See, there's a difference. Cotton. Polyester. See it?
WOLF: Explains why there's patches all over the place.
OTACON: [slowly walks up to Wolf w/ a bunch of roses] Um… hi, Wolf. How's it going?
WOLF: Oh, hey, Hal! It's all good.
DDM: This isn't polyester, Snake. More like… 100% nylon?
SOLIDUS: No, it's really 100% silk!
ME: SHUT UP! How about it's 25% cotton, 25% polyester, 25% nylon, and 25% silk? We can call it… um… what's a good name… …how about "100% Polycottonylosilk"?
ALL: Sure!
OTACON: Um, Wolf? Uh… I'm wondering… if you aren't busy this Friday… um… would you like to-
WOLF: Sorry, but I got plans with Liquid already. (Phew… another escaped Otaku Convention…)
OTACON: Oh… okay… [mopes away] (Damn… I was gonna take her out to some Japanese restaurant. Hey, I got coupons! Yay!)
WOLF: Snake, I'm sorry, but Liquid told me to do this… [rams him w/ her PSG1]
SNAKE: Pretty polyethenolic silky stars… …uhng… [falls unconscious for… who knows?]
[SOMEWHERE ELSE]
LIQUID: [on a phone] …yes… it's another Survivor show… …yes, I'm aware that people have seen too much of it… …no one bloody cares… so… …you mean I can do it? YAY! Thanks. [hangs up] This is gonna be fun! MWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!
Chapter 12 Over
Post-Story Announcements:
1.) Previews for Chapters 13, 14, and 15? Well, in Chapter 13, Snake will be in the torture room, make his escape, and fight his way through Communications Tower A. Yes, Liquid will torture Snake… bloody dipshit…
Chapter 14 will focus on the Hind-D scenario and, well, the "Pre-Survivor Show."
Chapter 15 will be the boss fight between Wolf and Snake. What's so special about this chapter? SURVIVOR!!! Yes, the MGS cast, along with random people who read and review (hopefully, you), will be thrown in… well… insanity. To get a chance of "entering", simply post a review, or e-mail me. And include the following:
a. The single item you are going to bring
b. State if you want Meryl to live or die
It's gonna be weird. It's gonna be psychopathically insane. It's gonna be… well, weird. Well, here's who's participating (so far, I got 20 out of 30 people):
1.) Solid Snake
2.) Liquid Snake
3.) Solidus Snake
4.) Otacon
5.) Psycho Mantis
6.) Sniper Wolf
7.) Colonel Campbell
8.) Dr. Naomi Hunter
9.) Mei Ling
10.) Nastasha Romanenko
11.) Cyborg Ninja
12.) Genome #11
13.) Vulcan Raven
14.) Revolver Ocelot
15.) Genome #12
16.) Genome #99 (Dragon Master's Mistress)
17.) Josh D. Blanco (ME! DUH!)
18.) Shade Wolf
19.) Riak Karasawa
20.) Pablosky
21.)
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There are 10 spots left. Hurry before you miss it!
2.) CAMEO APPEARANCE WINNERS FOR CHAPTER 13:
Shade Wolf
Riak Karasawa
Pablosky
Why these three people? Uh, well, as of January 06, 2004, HMGSRH only has 12 reviews. 1 got lost, but it was from me. Who cares… so we're down to 11. And then there's the PG Version of this story, which has 7 (actually, 5, since Pablosky somehow got one of his reviews posted three times). Well, Riak was the one who gave me the most (4 reviews), followed by Pablosky (who sent 3 – I'm not counting those copies!). And what about Shade Wolf? Although he didn't send lots of reviews, he was my VERY FIRST REVIEWER! YAY!
[cut to a large cake, with the words, "1st Reviewer" on it]
See? Perks! As you already know, these three have already been automatically "entered" in the Survivor Challenge in Chapter 15. But their roles in Chapter 13? Who knows? Maybe they'll assist Snake in his escape. Maybe they'll try to steal Otacon's DVD's, or that Girls Gone Wild: MGS Style DVD… we'll just have to find out.
3.) C'MON… REVIEW! Okay, okay… I'm begging. Just review, please?