Hereby, I declare that Weiß Kreuz Glühen belongs not to me.... I only use the characters to play around and have fun.... Nobody pays me for this, so don't sue me....

WHITE SHORE

Do you remember when we were just little boys? We used to go to the beach and played on the white sand. And one afternoon you asked how it would be when we're dead. You asked what we would see when we someday followed the tunnel what our parents had gone before.

And then I said to you, "After we got out of that tunnel there will be a white shore waiting for us. Look!" I pointed at the big red disk, half sinking to the horizon, "Do you see the sun?"

He nodded and I continued, "There we can see sunset and sunrise, but it's going to be twice, no, three times more beautiful than this."

You looked at the sunset and silent, and suddenly you turned your face to me and asked, "Will you be there with me, Nii-chan?" Your big childish eyes stared wide at me.

I gave it a thought for a moment and then I nodded.

That was a long years ago. But I forgot to tell you something. You won't be able to get to the white shore while your soul is not yet rest in peace. And I forgot to tell you the most important thing; you won't ever be able to reach the white shore if your life is stained with sins and not enough good deeds to balance. It really seem like very long years have passed before my eyes. And I watched you grew from your childish innocence into a mirthful adolescence. I saw a bright future ahead of you. But I was wrong. I was deadly wrong.

Your future crumbled as they found your body hanging limp on a dead tree. And they sent your body home, silent and empty. Lifeless. And you lost your little smile that always curled on your lips. And there was no laugh as you entered the house and came into my embrace.

I remember I cried for days, calling your name, hoping that you might wake up from your eternal sleep. And I asked many times if I have failed to become a brother to you. But prayers often left unheard, and all I had was ashes from your remains. And I put the urn in the five storey cemetery downtown and put your memoir tablet between our father's and mother's.

I looked at the three little stone carvings for days and then I realized that you could not reach the white shore yet. There were too many questions unanswered. There were too many riddles left to solve. Your soul was not yet rest in peace, and those little questions came dancing around my head, building such curiosity that drove me into investigating your case.

All the steps I took from then on were only to give you your eternal peace. And I would do anything to make your wish come true. I know you wished to reach the shore. And I really wished you would be able to see sunrise and sunset three times more beautiful than the ones we saw back then.

It really feels like years and years ago.

Did it really go that fast?

All I remember was your body hanging limp on a dead tree.

All I remember was the white sheet covering your stiff corpse.

All I remember was your joyful laughs.

The only thing I failed to remember, the only thing I failed to do for you, was to remember my promise to be with you at the white shore.

I'm sorry.


- ende -

Written on feb 2004... for the Kyo competition in glowingcross