Chapter Nineteen
Ginger had hoped that the printer cartridge would last for the whole report but the machine started to churn out scattered letters signifying the end of its life. She muttered under her breath and walked over to her desk. She groped around in the drawer before her hand came to rest on the new ink cartridge that she was searching for and was about to close the drawer when a piece of paper caught her eye. She had tried to forget the book she had been running on Sam's neckties and after he had been abducted she had shoved it to the back of the drawer.
She unfolded the paper and looked at the list of names, choices of tie and amounts of winnings and losses.
"I was going to wear a bowtie."
The voice startled her and the paper fell from her hand, "Sam, I didn't see you…I was just looking for a new cartridge. This was in the drawer…I'd…I'd forgotten all about it."
Sam picked it up and handed it to her. "Anyway, I was going to wear a bowtie, throw the whole book off."
Ginger smiled, relieved that it hadn't upset Sam. "You still can, I won't tell anyone."
"I don't think I'll be appearing on Capital Beat anytime soon. Not unless they want an exclusive on what the Spanish President's Birthday greeting says."
"What does it say?"
"Happy Birthday, Amigo! I was thinking brevity is the sole of wit." Sam walked over to the coffee machine and started to pour his third cup of the morning. He took a sip and then turned to find Ginger staring at him, a warm smile on her face. "What?"
"Nothing, just, it's so good to see you."
"You too," he said and smiled. The quiet of the moment was shattered by Toby who came thundering into the Bullpen.
"No, wait, let's blame it on the person who suggested we should wait until after the vote?"
Josh followed close behind. "You see, when you say it like that it makes me look pretty culpable."
"I'm sorry, let me put it a different way. The blame, which is absolute, lies at the feet of the person who spoke eloquently and persuasively on the subject of waiting until after the vote who, it now appears, had not the slightest idea of what he was talking about."
"That sounds a lot more like me," Josh said as he perched on Ginger's desk.
Toby waved his hand in the air in exasperation and walked into his office.
"What's going on?" Sam asked.
"Nothing much, Toby's being Toby and, unfortunately for him, I'm being Josh."
Sam nodded in understanding and took another sip of his coffee. "I better get back to it. I've got an opposition paper to write and a speech for the Surgeon General to check."
"Don't flaunt your reduced schedule at me; I've got three more meetings, two reports to write and Donna on overdrive to contend with." Sam patted Josh's back and walked back to his office.
The trial was two weeks away and the days passed slowly for Sam. He watched Toby going off to staff meetings and meetings with the President and was surprised at how little he cared. He kept to his office, venturing to the Mess on the rare occasions that his meals weren't organised for him by Ginger, Bonnie or Donna. He arrived after everyone else and left before them. He did whatever work was given to him and was constantly relieved that Toby didn't ask him for his input on what he was working on. He was grateful for the uninspiring tasks he was given. He feared the day when he would be asked to craft words for a major speech. He couldn't see how his hand would ever be a conduit for messages of hope or inspiration again.
Nobody stared at his hand, not with the intensity that he had feared they would. People knocked when they came to his door now, they had learnt after a few days that Sam didn't like anyone to see him typing. He wouldn't write and documents that Bonnie had needed signing had sat on Sam's desk for three days before Toby had told her to remove them and had signed them on his behalf.
Sam had managed almost a full week before his frustration at his weak and clumsy fingers became too much to hide any longer.
Josh was next door with Toby when a curse followed by a crash made them jump to their feet. Toby made it to Sam's office first to find him standing with his hands on his hips staring at his laptop which lay spread-eagled on the floor.
"Sam?" Toby said, quietly.
"It wasn't working," Sam explained, lamely.
Toby bent down and picked up the laptop and the shattered glass from a picture that had been knocked from the wall. As he stood he glanced at Sam and saw anger still etched on his face.
"Surprisingly enough, I think it's okay," Toby said as he handed the laptop to Sam.
Sam took it from him and put it back on his desk slamming the lid down before he walked in front of his desk to retrieve the items that had been hurled off it in the laptop's wake.
Toby crouched down to help but he dropped the paperweight on the floor when Sam spun around. "I can do it!"
Toby stood and gestured at Josh to leave the room. They left Sam to it and waited until he emerged a few moments later. He looked no calmer than he had before and said a curt goodbye, walking away before Toby had a chance to say anything.
After he left, Toby went and looked at the laptop. Sam hadn't shut it down and Toby was able to open the files that he had been working on. He soon saw the cause of Sam's anger. Not only was the document littered with typing errors but the content was a collection of repeated phrases that clearly illustrated Sam's block on the subject he was writing about. Toby sighed and pushed the lid down softly.
Sam came in the next day as if nothing had happened and the days leading up to the trial passed without incident. The weekend before he was due to go to Boston, CJ invited him, Toby and Josh over for a meal. It was the last thing Sam wanted but he appreciated what CJ was trying to do.
"Don't make him pizza," Josh said as he caught up with her on the way to the briefing room.
"I'm not."
"Good, because that would be bad."
"Yeah, you've said, like fifteen times already."
When the briefing was done she headed back to her office and found Toby waiting for her. "I don't know what you've got planned for tonight but make sure it's not pizza."
CJ walked around to her chair and perched on the desk. "I like to think I'm a reasonable woman and I've been told I'm the perfect hostess but I swear to God, if you or Josh tell me one more time not to make Sam pizza I will get my pizza knife and use it to slice your-"
"Oh man!" Josh cried as he poked his head around CJ's door, "I've just thought- best not do any finger-food tonight either."
CJ stared at Toby then Josh. She rolled her eyes and collapsed into her seat. "You're still here?" she said as she looked up at the two men.
Toby pushed Josh out of the room. "Trust me it's better that we leave. CJ's got this pizza knife visualisation going and I didn't like the way she was looking at that letter opener."
Sam reached into his pocket and handed the fare over to the cab driver. He stood on the stoop for a moment before he forced himself out of his stupor and made his way up to CJ's apartment. He was dreading the evening. He had managed to keep it together during his two weeks back at work. The time he had spent with CJ, Josh or Toby had been minimal but now he had all three in one room to contend with and he wasn't sure he could keep up the façade of being in control for much longer.
Sam took the drink that CJ offered him gratefully and sat perched on the edge of the sofa.
"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" Toby asked already aware of how nervous Sam seemed.
"Late morning, I'm travelling up with some agents."
"You haven't given me Laurie's number yet."
"Josh has it. I'll have my cell and I'll give you a call when I get there."
"Okay." Toby sat back in his chair and told Sam to do the same. "You look like you're waiting for a job interview."
Sam raised his eyebrows and smiled. He pulled his jacket off and finally relaxed back against the cushions. The doorbell rang and Josh entered the room. He and Toby discussed the events of the day and Sam, who didn't know and cared less about them, wandered into the kitchen. "Can I do anything?"
"No," CJ replied as she brushed her hair away from her face and closed the oven door, "We're all done I think." She straightened up and walked over to Sam. "I want you to enjoy tonight. I want you to relax before you go to Boston and before you shrug it off, we both know that it's going to be hell for you to have to stand in that courtroom and see that man again." Sam stared at the floor beside CJ's feet but he looked up when she reached out and laid her hand on his chest. "I never expected for one minute that you would stop seeing Laurie and I'm glad she's going to be there for you. Promise me you won't shut her out?"
The statement took Sam by surprise. He placed his hand on CJ's and nodded. They separated when Josh burst into the room requesting a rough estimate when dinner would be ready.
In the end CJ had decided on Lasagne. She watched with contentment as Toby and Josh helped themselves to a second serving and was even happier to see that although Sam declined another helping, he had managed to clear his plate.
When the dishwasher was loaded they made their way into the living room. CJ threw off her shoes and stretched out on the sofa. She watched Sam sipping at his brandy and waited for Toby to pass hers over.
"So what time are you leaving tomorrow?" Toby asked.
"Mid-morning, I think. Ron's picking me up." Sam took a sip of brandy and kept his gaze on the glass as he swirled the translucent liquid around it.
Toby nodded slowly. "You spent enough time with your lawyer?"
"He's pretty thorough. I've met with him five or six times. I don't feel unprepared if that's what you're asking."
Josh tried to think of something from his legal background that he could add to the conversation but couldn't. "Don't forget you're going to be getting national coverage, I want to see some sharp suits."
Sam smiled and took another slow sip.
"Did your lawyer go through possible questions that the defence might ask?" Toby asked as he sat forward in his chair causing CJ to steady her drink which slurped suddenly at the movement.
"I didn't get this guy from a TV ad, Toby."
"Yeah, I know, I'm just trying to make sure you feel prepared."
Sam wanted to laugh. He had a terrible urge to burst into hysterics. He could feel it rising in his chest and bubbling in his mouth. He had never felt less prepared for anything in his life. He knew what he had to say and do in court, that wasn't the problem; it was how he would react to seeing Mael again that had caused him to lie awake for the past three nights.
"Mael's guilty, no one's denying that, but the defence are going to try to minimise his role in the kidnap. They're going to make it sound as if he had little or nothing to do with your abduction and incarceration, and they're going to do it by twisting everything you say and remember about what happened."
"I think Sam's pretty clued in to what the defence are going to do," Josh pointed out. "I seem to remember he had quite a good job before he came to work on the campaign."
"Yeah, okay," Toby was standing now, rubbing a finger across his forehead and staring at Sam, "but you've never been on the other side before and even though you know all the tricks it doesn't mean you can see them coming when you're on the stand."
Sam knew Josh and CJ were staring at him and he could feel Toby's gaze too. He wanted to assure them that it was all okay, he was in control.
"Just remember to stay calm, don't let them provoke you. I know it's going to be hard for you to talk about it all again and some of the things they bring up are probably going to throw you but you have to stay focused. The thought of seeing Mael again must be worrying you and-"
"It terrifies me." Sam's admission stopped Toby in mid-flow. Sam took a deep breath and the air escaped in a nervous laugh. Toby walked over and sat down beside him. CJ leaned over and grabbed his hand. Josh stood and moved closer to them and sat in Toby's vacated seat. Nobody spoke and Sam was grateful for it. The silence that descended as he sat surrounded by his friends was more comforting than any words could have been.
Sam was packed and ready to go long before Ron arrived to escort him to Boston. He sat and waited in his living room with his coat draped neatly over his lap. The sound of the buzzer made him jump and he frowned at how sudden noises made him jump now. Even though he had done it a number of times, he checked that everything was unplugged before picking up his case and coat and leaving his apartment.
He hadn't seen Ron since they had briefly discussed security arrangements for the trip a few weeks ago and Sam was relieved to discover that Ron was driving and an agent was sitting in the passenger seat. He didn't want to have to make conversation and he suspected Ron didn't relish the prospect of it either. Sam gave his bag to the agent and got into the back of the car. "I appreciate you doing this, Ron. I know you've probably got more important stuff to do than ferry a White House staffer around."
"This is important," Ron answered and he turned to look at Sam before pulling into the traffic.
They stopped for a cup of coffee on the way but that was the only stop. Ron was keen to get to Boston and make sure everything was okay at Laurie's place. He also wanted to go to the courthouse and make final security arrangements there. Sam felt embarrassed at the level of protection he was being offered but he didn't say anything and nodded his head dutifully when Ron asked him if he understood the arrangements.
Laurie had taken the day off work and she had obviously been looking out for them as the front door opened as soon as the car pulled into the drive. She walked up to Sam and hugged him closely. "Hey, you," she whispered before she kissed him on the cheek and turned her attention to the two other men.
Quick introductions were made and then Ron shepherded them all inside where he insisted that Laurie give him a tour of her house so he could satisfy himself that a member of the FARC wouldn't have an easy route through a window or door even though he had already ordered two agents to do the same and make a report of any potential security issues.
It was another hour before Sam and Laurie were alone. She led him to the spare room and sat on the bed while he began to unpack his suitcase. Laurie offered him a drink which he declined, she asked him how things were in the White House and he replied that they were fine. She knew that if she let him, Sam would try to shut her out of what he was going through as much as possible.
"Hey, I still don't know if that pen you gave me writes on the moon, but the other day I used it on the subway sitting between a puking baby and a drunk so it's definitely commuter-proof."
Her comment had the required affect and Sam stopped ferreting in his suitcase and came and sat down next to her.
"Hey," Laurie said when Sam was beside her.
"Hey," he replied and they sat in silence for a few moments. She felt Sam lean against her and sigh. "I'm sorry."
"You apologise again and you can find digs somewhere else."
Sam smiled but it disappeared when he felt Laurie reach for his right hand. She could feel him stiffen as she brought his hand towards her and studied it. Sam's eyes closed as he felt her soft lips gently kissing his fingers then the back of his hand. She placed his palm against the side of her face and nuzzled against it. Sam pulled her head towards him until it was resting against his. They sat like that until the ringing of the phone disturbed them. Laurie fell backwards on the bed and reached for it. She listened to the voice and then rolled her eyes. "Guess who?" she asked Sam as she handed him the receiver.
"Hi, Josh. Yeah fine…he stayed for an hour…no it was okay not much traffic…yeah…fine, yeah…okay, bye." Sam handed the phone back to Laurie and shook his head. "He just wanted to make sure I got here okay," he explained as he fell back onto the bed next to her.
"Of course, because being driven by the head of the Secret Service and an agent isn't as safe as it sounds."
Sam smirked but it was lost on Laurie who was staring at the ceiling. "They worry…a lot, and I don't think they like that I'm staying with you."
"Well then they should take their heads out of their-"
"Not because it's you but because they want me tucked away in some safe house or something."
"This is a safe house, Sam," Laurie said and she reached again for Sam's hand and squeezed it.
"I know," Sam answered with a smile as he closed his eyes. Laurie lay next to him, both of them with their legs dangling off the end of the bed, until Sam fell asleep.