Left With A Flower
By Ukyou
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Chapter Eight - Fireflies
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The first thing I noticed was that I was all alone.
Which was what I had been seeking for most of the night, and upon realizing this, I sat down and opened my book. The bench was under a lamp in the park, and moths and other insects flew about the area, attracted by the luminance.
And so, there I sat. Cup of coffee by my side, the notebook in my hands. The steam rose from the cup, sending a warm feeling to the hand lifted above it. I searched my pockets for a pen, and soon after finding, decided to think upon what to write about.
I leaned the notebook against my knee and scribbled down some notes on what to possibly write. I wanted my head away from Sakura for the moment, just a time to clear up.
Just for a little while.
It was going to be something simple, yet powerful. I knew exactly what I wanted, and yet my head felt completely blank about it still. Perhaps there was too much in my mind, but wouldn't that be such a good occasion to be able to write?
...and yet, even with the writer's block consuming my mind, I still was able to place my pen upon that piece of paper.
'...the flowing fires of fireflies streaming to the tops of trees on the darkest nights.'
...it wasn't what I had expected, but it fit such a night as now. The fireflies indeed were everywhere, and at sunset, they swarmed by the thousands, and flew up towards the sky. Beautiful, indeed. haunting as well though.
'...her eyes, glittering with the light that stood from behind me...'
The idea had come so suddenly to my head. The sound of a music box, a familiar tune repeating itself until the winding ran out. A large field, a beautiful sunset. With the sound of the music box, the decrescendo of a light drizzle, two people standing there, shadows to me within these daydreams, but their faces clear to each other. The wind sending a slight whisper through the tips of the grass, and the two figures staring at one another.
...but the same question ran through my head. What to say next? Should he simply speak to her? Should she walk away for whatever he had done? What was happening in such a mental picture, one with the sounds, emotion, and the images, and yet no story behind it?
...and that haunting music box, luminance diminished, nothing more than a slight dash of what it once was. An echo perhaps, ghostly, a spectre. Still, music is never seen, but instead heard. An unsuspecting shadow it could be, so how could one say that music is different merely by its sounding. Perhaps music is ghastly in nature. Perhaps our perception is merely on a different level than what really is.
Writing through questions, perception through ignorance. An endless sheet of debates, and only a single mental image.
Then, I put down my pen to think for awhile, taking a quick drink from my coffee. It was warm to my nose, and tickled its way up my face. The taste keeping me awake, and I put the cup down again and took some time to look around myself.
There were fireflies flying about, flickering like small flashlights. On and off, on and off they went. Never a predictable pattern, never a second after. I was so intrigued by them, that I decided to follow them, pausing as their lights went out. It soon took me to a large clearing deep inside the forest, light shrubs hitting the ankles of my legs. The fireflies swarmed in shapeless patterns, trapped eternally in a waltz of the sky.
It was a ballroom it seemed, one for the fireflies as they went about in the air. There were so many that if I had reached out and closed my hand, I would've owned an ordinary day's catch.
I sat down on the ground, the tall grass tickling my sides. I still held my coffee, but I had left my notebook on the bench. It wouldn't have done me well to bring it, there was no light to write with.
The fireflies did give out a wonderful glow though, and if I was a child, I would've probably enjoyed it even more now. Instead, no, I sat and admired. Perhaps things were done better the mature way, although lacking that sense of liveliness.
I soon found myself lying down on my back, arms folded behind my head. From here, the fireflies looked as if they were thousands of twinkling stars, reproducing the sky as they saw fit. The coffee was cooling, and the steam that rose from the cup diminished over time.
A haunting sound then appeared from within the forest, a familiar piano tune. The fireflies seemed to react to the music and slowly gathered in one large group. I stood up, walking towards the cloud of fireflies. They flew about me, until they quickly started to fly deeper into the forest.
'A masquerade, Syaoran.' a voice then said, echoing through my mind. 'Follow and perhaps the masks shall fall off'
...and I started running after the fireflies, following them. Their quick flashes were caught at the corners of my eyes, a mere glint telling me where to go.
Its voice was a male's, a ghostly chime hung at the end of it. It seemed to come from all around me, although I knew that to be impossible.
'Syaoran, are you just taking a little jog?' another man's voice said from behind me. 'Perhaps you are just realizing that the stopwatch has finally reached the end?'
I didn't turn towards him at all, instead, I ran faster.
'Maybe you noticed that the music box shall be smashed again, much like your heart, Syaoran.' he said, giving a slight laugh at the end.
'Don't bother me' I yelled to him, the fireflies still leading me to an unknown destination. It was dark, so I wouldn't be able to see the man anyway, make exceptions to the streams of moonlight peeking down towards the ground.
I could hear myself breathing hard, and yet I never found any burden to stop running for. I could hear footsteps trailing behind me, however, which seemed to get closer and closer.
'Syaoran! Give up your chase! For all you know, she's already dead! Its been days since you've seen her last!' he repeated. 'Face it, its too late! She'll have her drawers decorated with flowers from her man, as you stand in black at her funeral and spectate the words you should be saying! Perhaps that shall bring a ring to your ears!'
'I said don't bother me!' I yelled again, keeping up my pace as best I could. I could see lights coming closer in front of me, which told me I was nearing somewhere.
'Fine! I shall take my leave, but have you any words to say, you'll have nowhere to go! You're all alone, you fool!'
...and I ran out of the forest.
I stood in front of a road, the edge of a sidewalk. In front of me, in a menacing glare, the hospital stood, shining lights down like a tower, a tower I would have to climb in order to penetrate it.
...Sakura...
She popped into my head almost immediately, and I ran through the doors of the hospital in a fit of impatience.
Please, don't make it too late.
Don't leave me here, not like this
...not like this...
~cont
Author's Note: ...and indeed it has been awhile. My fit of writer's block has consumed me, and I couldn't write for the longest time.
Now, however, I have a good picture built in my head, thanks to countless 'mind wanderings' in Ms. Daniels' class. The next chapter is, hopefully, the final chapter to the story. I'm glad I'm finally finishing this story, as beautiful as it is.
In this chapter, Syaoran has his final fit with voices in his head. A conflict in the forest, should he run after something over pure instinct, or be lured to stay behind and accept the inevitable? Two voices, one decision. Which would you dare to take?
~ Ukyou
10:09 - September 11th 2002 - God Bless