Left With A Flower

By Ukyou

=====================

Chapter Nine - Masquerade

=====================

The hallways seemed darker than usual.

The lights were not on, and I wandered aimlessly through a dome of total darkness. I traced the walls, trying to find my way through the hall. Then, I could hear the speakers turn on, as a song was projected. It was a mysterious tune, one that made me feel for the walls even more so than I already was. I had been blinded, the light robbed from me.

I wouldn't have noticed the difference had I closed my eyes.

Then, a firefly on the wall traced the contours for me. It blinked with small facets of light, until my hand touched the sharp coolness of a window.

...and with that, sunlight mysteriously peered into the room. Its icy fingers existant only in sight, and in touch. I glanced out of the window for a brief moment, pausing beforehand to allow my eyes to adapt.

It indeed was a beautiful sight, the sun's first rising. There were endless fields of grass spreading out in all directions, making him feel as if he were in a tower, a solitude perhaps.

'The sunrise of a new day, and so one begins' the voice said to me. That voice was John's.

'Oh, dont mind me, Syaoran. Don't turn away from that window.' he said, swaying his finger back and forth. He still wore the brown coat that was two sizes too large, the look of an intellectual. A pen in one hand and a camera in the other, which he gave to me in haste.

'Your camera, keep such a picture for posterity.' he said to me, taking his pen and letting it lie upon his ear. 'You might as well just take it, for I can understand that this is just another dream. You have no film to waste here.

And I held up my camera to take the shot. A single click and it was done. My camera only had a single exposure left.

'No worries, Syaoran. Dreams don't take effect upon the real world. Only magic does.'

'Indeed' I answered, wrapping the camera strap around my neck.

There was a long silence, and John motioned for me to walk with him. He pulled out a small stopwatch and swung it like a pendulum as he walked.

'Tick tock go the seconds as we walk upon stairs- that is how the poem begins, right?' he asked me. I shook my head, even though I had never heard of such a poem.

Another long silence.

'Hmm, I know what must be troubling your mind!' he declared in a tone that would have judged madness, although one's madness usually clouds a great deal of intellect.

'Your question, even if misworded, is this world, or am I real or imagined?' He brought to me. 'And if it were, you'd wonder how you came about here and why you had taken a picture of a giant grassfield, something you've always seen.'

'Well, what if more than just these dreams and I are just imagined? If you had none to compare to, you would be lost in such a dull reality, now would you Syaoran?'

I kept quiet.

'"let us act out a masquerade", those were her words to you Syaoran, weren't they indeed? Have you ever seen the fools stuck in the deck of cards, pulled out as if imitating a king or a jack? What is a masquerade, Syaoran?'

Quiet still.

Then, he came up closer to me and declared for all the world to hear. 'It is a dream! Weaved from the majicks of the cupids as they shoot your heart for their own jesters!'

'Real or Imagined, Syaoran? What love is real? One in which you must be loved, or one in which you feel as if you should? Tell me the bold line inbetween both of those!'

'You haven't the slightest idea!' I yelled at him. 'Not one single thought, nor quiver, nor clever jeer.'

'Ah, perhaps I do not. But nor do you'

...and with that, his stopwatch gave out a small ring.

'...and nor may you ever, until you are seconds too late.'

---

...and I was awakened, sitting upon a chair near Sakura's bed. It was still late, and she lay asleep. I shook my head, and then noticed that my camera was strapped around my neck. I immediatly stood up, looking around myself. How had I come here all of a sudden? I had no memory of walking up the wooden stairs, none of tracing my steps within the hallways.

I simply was here, and there was no explanation as to how, or even why. Not a single to be asked about it either, I merely sat back down.

It was so dark in the room, and yet, I could still see light shining in her eyes. A riddle, even if silent, it was. Riddles in the dark perhaps.

Then, it came unexpectedly. A single light rising as if it had come from the insides of my pockets. I lifted a finger to follow its path in the air, as I noticed that there was not only one, but two.

Then Threes and Fours. A fifth appearing as my finger outlined the window. Then, as if sprouting from the floor, they came up as if they were shooting stars, waving slowly and steadily back and forth. A sea of light perhaps even, a neon ballroom.

And I saw her stand up from her bed. She was different though, her exterior that of a long flowing white gown. Magic it was perhaps, but none that brought my mind to questioning. She seemed so perfect that I was afraid that by holding her hand, I would be damaging her perhaps.

'Would you have to believe in magic to see what you are seeing?' she asked me. 'Is there an ounce of disbelief at all?'

She looked me in the eyes, her head slightly tiled to the side, allowing her hair to be weaved into shapeless positions as a mysterious wind left an essence to the impression of an angel.

'Photographers have nothing to believe' I replied. 'We capture what we see'

The room around us both seemed to disappear in a wisp of fireflies, them taking the form of a new sun. It was bright, but not bright enough to blind us both.

'Syaoran' she then said, her arms resting upon my shoulders. 'I don't need any impossible promises, nor any wishes that can't be granted.'

'I just want a kiss'

We separated a few before I cleared my throat.

'Would that be all that you desire?'

...and with that, she quickly nodded her head. So, I did the natural.

'Let this end our masquerade. No questions asked, let this end here.' I answered. As I did so, however, the ticking of a clock could be heard echoing in the distance.

I ignored it, however, and took her into my arms. She looked up at me, and I looked down at her. And with that, there came a kiss. Not a long romantic kiss, nor a small peck. Instead, it was the kiss that fit our need, the perfect kiss.

And we parted, letting go.

'Syaoran, I never wanted to be the person to tell you this...but, I have to go.' she said, looking down, her arms behind her back.

I kept silent, for that was all that I was good for.

'Just...Syaoran. I can't leave you with lies, or ... I don't know...I have no idea of what to say...' she said, her words inturrupted by tears.

'Syaoran, for my sake, just don't follow me!' she then said, running the other direction from me. 'I don't want to end it as if it were a hopeless romance! I'm not going to pain you by letting you see me disappear!'

Then, from behind me, John's voice.

'Follow her.'

...and I took off running. I could see nothing, but I could hear her footsteps. And within the clouds themselves, her tears fell like rain. An endless chase it might of been, until I caught sight of a single foot. And with that, I tackled her down, seeing her slowly fading from existance.

'Syaoran...I told you not to follow me...now what is there to say or do?' she asked, the hands that went to reach for my face slowly disappearing.

'I don't know...but let me just stare at you before you must disappear.'

I held her tight, her face growing transparent.

John stood behind us both, and he took out his stopwatch. It quickly ticked away the precious seconds I had, and he stood regarding it. I simply held her, stared at her, until, with an explosion of light, she disappeared.

'...I love you...'

I fell to the ground, for she was no longer there. There were tears shed, I could feel them running down my cheeks.

John said nothing. I said nothing. It was a realm of silence from then on.

'Syaoran, take a breath. A poison to the mind it is, but an ailment perhaps in the long run.'

And I took my breath...

...and woke up once again in the hospital room. Sakura lay on the hospital bed, her eyes closed. The glitter of her eyes hidden and concealed from me. I didn't have to check her at all.

She was dead.

I didn't have to send her my regards, nor pay respects.

I had already done so.

---

A week later, a funeral. I stood in black, her man talking in front of all of us. Tomoyo sat in front of me, and constantly looked back at me, as if to check up on me in some way. I never said a word, nor flinched.

When it was all over, however, I took out a small flower from a bag I had been holding, and walked past everyone in the small crowd that had spectated the casket. Her man talking to a coffin as I laid it upon the top. He didn't look up, however. He never noticed me. He never asked questions.

I, instead, walked away.

Not a single word spoken.

Not one at all.

The masquerade was over.

So, what good would it be now to question such a thing?

When such a thing no longer exists?

Not a single word spoken.

~fin

Author's Note: A question answered through silence, never questioned, yet still solved. Tell me now, what is real and what is imagined? Could it be so obvious to recognize a trick of the mind, a game perhaps? Or maybe it would be better to leave some questions unanswered.

I'm happy with the path that this story took. It left me thinking, and hopefully, you too. A love lost, and yet, perhaps, it might be a hidden relief.

It's been great keeping the heads of so many people stuck to this story. I'm starting to feel bad for ending this story, but, all good things come to an end.

and let this be one of them

...oh yea, as you all know, I do use a whole lot of music to help me write. Just for the pure hell of it, I decided to add a list of some of the music I used to write this story:

Final Fantasy X Piano Collections - Guadsalam

Final Fantasy X Piano Collections - Via Purifico

Final Fantasy X Piano Collections - People of the North Pole

Final Fantasy VIII Piano Collections - Find Your Way

Final Fantasy VIII Piano Collections - Ami

Final Fantasy VIII Piano Collections - The Successor

Final Fantasy IX Piano Collections - Loss of Me

Final Fantasy IX Piano Collections - Unfathomed Reminiscence

Final Fantasy IX Piano Collections - Frontier Village Dali

The entire Dashboard Confessional 'Places You Have Come To Fear The Most' CD

A Beautiful Mind Soundtrack - Real or Imagined?

A Beautiful Mind Soundtrack - The Car Chase

A Beautiful Mind Soundtrack - Playing a Game of Go

Chrono Cross - The Start of the Dream

Chrono Cross - The Girl That Stole The Stars

Grave of the Fireflies - Seita and Setsuko (or the other way around)

Grave of the Fireflies - Under the Cherry Blossoms

Grave of the Fireflies - At the Shore of the Pond

Grave of the Fireflies - The Parasol

Special thanks to Elena, who gave me the support to write this. Xiaoyu-chan for reading this, Chris for the insight, and several thousand other people that I cannot list because I'm getting way too tired.

...but thanks Vanilla, for making me want to write again (after reading your rev's). I should read that story of yours. I'll get to it soon.

And to you, the reader. Its been a pleasure telling such a story, but I gotta go to bed now. Ja! Thanks for reading, and review! :P

3:35 AM - Sept 22, 2002