Can't Stop Now

---This fic is character bashing at the beginning and just plain weird at the end... but give it a chance, you will probably end up laughing (and some of you will be laughing at me). But I wrote this when my ear was septic(it still is septic, actually, but...) and I think I was in septic shock at the time to have written something so insane(when you're at the end, you'll get it) but anyway, enjoy the madness, R&R, thank you. Oh, and disclaimer: I don't own Smallville, Keane, or anyone/thing else apart from me and my insane brain. I didn't mean for that to rhyme. I'm crap at poetry.---

A truth serum had been released in Smallville with hilarious effects...

(Smallville High School)

"Ok, everyone, we have a new student here, called Alex. I want you to stand up and tell him your name and some things about yourself, like elementary school kids." The homeroom teacher said. "Lana, you first."

Lana stood up. "Hi, I'm Lana Lang. I cannot get each day without whinig about my parents dying in a meteor shower goodness knows how many years ago that no-one cares about. I must have my daily cry about everything and have to whinge about Clark at least five times a day. I don't know why anyone likes me as I am such a crying, whining, whinging, needy sap." Lana sat down as Clark stood up.

"I'm Clark Kent. I'm an alien from a planet no-one's heard of and I came down in the meteor shower that killed Lana's parents and I wish I had died rather than came here because I have fallen in love with the most annoying person in the world despite having someone who loves me and is a much nicer person, that I could love, my best friend Chloe. I have pushed Lana away despite the fact that we love each other because I have a secret that I have wanted to tell her for years but haven't told her for no reason whatsoever."

"I'm Chloe Sullivan. I love Clark and I hate Lana for going after him. I'm a journalist and will do whatever it takes for the truth. I don't know why I still love Clark when he clearly loves Lana and I could be with my nice-guy best friend Pete who loves me."

"I'm Pete Ross. I am very nice and polite and perfectly correct all the time. I always pick the pieces up after Clark screws stuff up and I don't know why. I love Chloe even though she's in love with Clark but no-one else loves me so I may as well carry on. I hate no-one and I like everyone and they all use me. I have never done anything dangerous apart from when a parasitic worm got inside me and I became a daredevil and was much more fun than normal, nice, boring, a couple of lines if I'm lucky per episode, stand around and nod my head sympathetically rather than do anything at all Pete."

Then a deep, dark voice came from the back of the classroom "I'm Lex Luthor and I love you Pete, even though I'm the bad guy and you're the good guy we'd be perfect for each other even though I keep on coming onto Lana despite the fact that she's in love with Clark and comes running to me every time he does something like that time that he kissed her and she came to me in tears, mad at him that he kissed her, despite being in love with him. Not only do I love you, Pete, but I love Clark and that's why I keep on paying for stuff for him, like Kent farm and that's why I was keeping a room of stuff about him that was discovered at the end of season 3."

Then all of a sudden, they realised what they had been saying and screamed all together:

"WHO IS DOING THIS TO US???"

Then, an evil voice came from the entrance. "Me, of course."

Chloe's journalistic instinct kicked in. "Who are you? Why are you doing this? What are your deep dark secrets?"

The girl replied "I am the fanfic author that is writing this fic. I control you, muahahaha! I am Hippie Killer, source of all evil[yeah yeah I'm excluding Unknown Wanderer, but hey this is my fic and I'm doing what I like with it...]!"

Another girl entered the room. "Hi, I'm Queen Phoenix and I love Kai from Beyblade Anime and I'm going to kill you, you wired Hippie Murderer for bringing me into this and telling the world that I love Kai, even though it is true!"

"Sorry, I control the story. DIE, muahahaha!" Hippie Killer replied as she kills Queen Phoenix with a gun filled with green kryptonite bullets.

Then, another girl enters. "I'm Sandry of Ruatha, Go Hippie Killer for killing QP, hehehe[a weak evil laugh I have given you, Sandry]! Thank you HK for giving me an evil laugh[apparently she didn't have one already, so I'll keep my allies happy]."

"You're welcome. Just to make this fic crazier, welcome Kevin 3485 with his stuffed monkey, Fred [go to Kevin's bio for more about the insaneness that is Fred]!"

"Hi. My new chapter for 'Just say no' is going to be... JUST SAY NO TO LANA LANG! She must die! ... and for that point, so must JoJo." Kevin said.

"Yes, JoJo must die too[sorry, but I HATE that girl...]. But back to Lana." Hippie Killer gets the gun and shoots Lana. "You can do nothing Clark, it's a green kryptonite bullet, muahahaha!"

"Oh no! What can I do?" Clark wondered.

"NOTHING!" Hippie Killer replied.

JoJo then entered, singing in an annoying, ANNOYING voice "GET OUT! Get out, leave right now, it's the end for you and me. It's too late now and I can't---" JoJo was stopped dead by a bullet in her chest from Hippie Killer.

"hehe, I stole your line, I can't wait for YOU to be gone!" Hippie Killer said.

Hippie Killer, with Sandry of Ruatha, Kevin 3485 and Fred, exited the room. Hippie Killer laughed "I am now going to kill all the crappy bands and singers out there[I feel strongly about this...]! DIE, BUSTED, DIE!!!"

Then, C.K. 7890 entered. Hippie Killer said "Thank you for putting me on your fav. authors list. If you find this fic crappy, ignore it, my ear's septic, give me a break."

Then, because Hippie Killer controlled the fic, after she had killed all of the crappy music artists[this would take a while, so I'm skipping it, you get the point], she went and found Keane and her and the lead singer lived happily ever after[oh man I wrote a happily ever after fic... what is wrong with me???] together.

THE END

---Ok, so that was weird. Reviews anyway, don't mention the ending QP and I won't mention Kai, oops, just did... sorry if it freaked you or anything cos your mentally unstable, your problem not mine. Flamers will be shot with my gun, I don't just kill Hippies, you know. Review nicely and have a nice day.

Yours insanely, (well actually I'm not yours, but anyways)

Hippie Killer---