Chapter 9 - Friendless
The next morning when Harry woke, it took a few seconds to realize why he was feeling so horrible. When it did sink in, he felt even worse. The attack, the deaths, and the danger he brought to those close to him. The Weasley's had lost there house. The Grangers were in danger and had to be brought to Grimmauld place. And Bill was attacked. All of this because of him.
As he lay there thinking it over, he found that everyone that was remotely close to him was in danger because of him. Every time someone got hurt or died, it was because of him. The more he thought on it, the worse he felt.
By the time the sun had completely risen, he had decided that there was only one way to protect his friends. And when Ron woke and offered him a sleepy 'Good morning.' Harry stood and walked out of the room without answering him, leaving Ron looking confused.
He hurried through the common room to the portrait, ignoring Hermione's, Ginny's, and Aira's sombre hellos. He was halfway down the corridor when he noticed he had company. Aira was tagging along with him, like she always did.
"Stop following me everywhere! Leave me alone!" he snapped at her.
She stood looking hurt. He turned and left. He felt bad, but he didn't want her to be in danger like the others by being friends with him. He sat alone at breakfast and as soon as he saw Ron, Hermione, and Ginny coming, he made to leave. But Ginny stopped him in the outside.
"What's wrong with you?" she shouted at him, catching him by surprise. Hermione was beside her, glaring at him.
"That was really rude, Harry. I never expected that from you," Hermione said.
"Aira's up in the dormitory crying! She just lost her mother! And you have the audacity to snap at her like that!" Ginny continued. Between the two of them, he couldn't get a word in. "You may think you can do as you please, Harry Potter, but you can't! So drop the attitude!" Ginny yelled.
"Just leave me alone," he muttered quietly.
"Well, I am glad too see that I'm not the only one who thinks you arrogant," Snape said, giving him a nasty smile. Harry stopped and turned around. He glared at the greasy professor through narrowed eyes.
"Shut up. Just shut your mouth," Harry said, not caring about anything at the moment.
"Thirty points from Gryffindor, Potter. You may get away with that with the headmaster, but you certainly shall not with me. And if you have one more outburst like that you'll be out of my class," Snape hissed.
"Do me the favor," he muttered under his breath and before Snape could say a word, he stormed away.
He had no where to go but his dormitory, so he closed the hangings around his bed, and started to work on his homework to keep his mind busy. He had enough homework piled up to keep him busy for many hours. The first assignment he grabbed was a half finished Potions essay. He tore it to pieces.
He had been working for an hour when Ron interrupted, "Harry?"
"Go away," Harry answered.
"Mum wrote to say we go home on the train today. It leaves at noon," he said.
"I'm not going," Harry said. He did want to, but he needed to break it off with everyone. It was better for them that way, safer.
"What's up with you?" Ron asked.
Harry didn't answer and Ron left. When it was almost noon, Ron returned with Hermione.
"The train leaves in fifteen minutes, Harry," Hermione said, "Mrs. Weasley is going to be upset when you don't come."
"Oh well," Harry forced out.
"Harry, what's bothering you? You can tell us. We're your friends," she said.
"Were my friends. I don't want you as friends any more. I only want you to leave me alone," Harry said. He could hear Hermione sob and the door shut.
"You really are being an arrogant jerk..." Ron said, before following after her. Harry was glad he didn't have to look them in the face when he said all that. He wasn't sure if he could have. And to top off his bad feelings, only an hour the train had been gone when he received a letter from Ginny, telling him what a jerk he was.
That evening, when he went down to get dinner, it was amid glares from his fellow students. It turned out that they all found out what he'd done to Aira and Hermione and thought him a jerk. Dean Thomas, who he always got on well with, told him he couldn't believe how horrible he was to his friends.
It didn't help when that evening, Voldemort visited his dreams. There was no odd dream, but only the hiss of his voice in Harry's ear.
"Harry, my dear boy. I must say you are doing a fine job," he said. Harry tried his hardest to block him out. Voldemort continued, "I, myself, was a loner in school and look how powerful I am, now."
Harry cleared his mind and tried to block him out.
"Come now, Harry. It is ever so much easier to join me than fight me. I've done many great things. You, too, can--"
And there, to Harry's great satisfaction, it stopped.
The next morning, Harry got an owl from Ron and one from Mrs. Weasley. He supposed they were there talking about what was wrong with him, but they didn't know half of what he knew. They didn't understand.
He hadn't left his dormitory the whole of yesterday, but hunger got to him and he went down to breakfast. He noticed that Dumbledore was watching him. He made it a quick meal and took some biscuits up with him so he didn't have to go back down for lunch. Aira had not given up on following him, but he couldn't bring himself to yell at her again and instead, only ignored her. She didn't say a thing, which was quite unusual, as she usually never shut up.
When seven thirty came around, Harry made his way up to the headmaster's office for his Occlumency lesson, fully determined to do well. He managed to shake Aira off before arriving at the entrance. Whitley was coming down the corridor towards him.
"Harry, I haven't seen you all week," she said. Harry knew this would be hard. He definitely didn't want to have to tell Whitley off. He tried to ignore her.
"Are you alright?" she asked, "You don't seem like yourself."
"I'm fine. Just deciding how to give this annoying someone the hint to leave me alone," he said coldly. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"We're over," she said shortly, before stalking away. Harry felt horrible. He knew it wouldn't be good to have his emotions going before Occlumency, but he couldn't help but feel like shit. The only reason he was even continuing Occlumency was to keep his friends safe.
He said the password and the gargoyle moved, revealing the entrance. Harry climbed up the spiraling staircase and knocked on the door, expecting that usual calm voice of the headmaster asking him to come in but instead he received a snappy, "You're late. Get in here."
It was not the voice of Dumbledore, but that of his most hated Professor. He had the impulse to turn and leave right then. He definitely was not in the mood to spend two hours having Snape break into his mind repeatedly, especially when he had told him off only the day before. He fought the impulse and forced himself to open the door. Snape looked about as happy to see Harry, as Harry did him.
"Alright, Potter. Let's get this over with," he snapped, "And I assure you...I am no happier with this arrangement than you. Legilimens!"
Harry wasn't really caught off guard by the suddenness of the spell. He knew Snape would try that and he was prepared when it hit him. Blocking the spell did not prove to be difficult at all, after he had been practicing with Dumbledore, who was no doubt much more adept than Snape with it.
Harry was able to throw the spell off easily, but he didn't. He decided to have a little fun with it. He focused entirely on one specific memory, that of his first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson with Remus. The memory of Snape dressed in Witch's robes and carrying a purse brought a smirk to Harry's face as he finally threw off the spell.
Snape had his eyes narrowed at Harry, then he grinned sideways, "Let's try that again. Legilimens!"
This time Harry didn't have as much control over it and had no idea why. And to his horror, the memory that came to him, was one most dreaded. He watched as his Godfather fell behind the veil. Just as he completely disappeared, Harry was brought back to Dumbledore's office. He was on all fours, tears trying to push their way out, but he wouldn't let them, not in front of Snape, not in front of anyone. He hurriedly got back on his feet.
"It is much harder to block your mind when one concentrates on finding a specific memory," Snape said.
Harry no longer had to fight back tears. He was beyond tears. He was pissed. Snape tried for that memory. That asshole wanted him to see Sirius die again. The urge to hex Snape into nothing but a shriveled mess was so strong, that Harry was surprised he didn't do it. His rage must have shown in his face, because Snape took a step backward.
"That is all for today," he snapped.
Harry turned and left the office, fuming. If only he had Pure Arts now, he could have not only ripped a paper in half, but the whole damn tree it came from. He sighed in exasperation and shook his head when he saw Aira was sitting right beside the stone gargoyles, waiting for him. She followed him without a word.
As he reached the Gryffindor House Corridor, he turned the opposite way. He wanted to go down to the kitchens and visit Dobby, maybe convince the elf to slip poison into a certain Professor's goblet.
"Harry, we aren't supposed to go wandering at night," Aira spoke up.
"We aren't going to, but I am," he snapped at her. He expected her to go back to the common room, but the sound of footsteps a few feet behind him told him she was still following. He didn't care either way. If she wanted to be his new shadow, fine by him. Once he reached the portrait, he tickled the pear and entered. House elves instantly surrounded him and Aira, asking what they could get them. Harry asked for some treats just to please the passionate elves.
"Harry Potter, sir! Dobby is glad to see you!" squeaked the familiar elf. He had on a new array of clothes. This time it was a bright orange shirt, yellow soccer shorts, and the flippers that divers wear. And, of course, he was topped with a dozen or so hats from Hermione. Aira giggled and Harry unintentionally smiled.
"How are you doing, Dobby?" Harry asked politely.
"Dobby is doing fine, sir! Just fine," he squeaked, "Does Harry Potter, sir, remember what Dobby is telling him about the boy with the bad thing on his arm?"
Aira looked at him curiously and Dobby dropped his voice to what was a whisper by his standards, but that anyone could still hear, "Dobby still did not see his face, but he comes into these kitchens, sir! But we house elves is chasing him away."
"Someone was sneaking around in here?" Harry asked.
"Yes, sir. But we is chasing him away," Dobby repeated.
"Well, all I can say is try to keep him out of here and try to find out who he is," Harry said.
"Yes, sir," he nodded, "Can Dobby do anything else for Harry Potter?"
"Well, actually. Yes," he smirked at his idea, "Dobby, do you think you can get me the ingredients for a love potion?"
"Of course. Dobby knows right where to get them. Can Dobby ask who it is for?"
"Professor Snape," Harry said.
"Ah, but why not pick someone better? He does not seem your type, Harry Potter, sir," Dobby said innocently.
Harry cringed at the thought, "No, Dobby. Not for Snape to fall in love with me. For Snape to fall in love with... Let's see... How about Professor McGonagall? It'd be funny to see her reaction to his new emotions."
"Harry, I really shouldn't just let you do this," Aira said, "But I suggest you should pair Snape with Trelawney. Kill two birds with one stone, you know..."
This is going to far, Harry thought, she has to stop palling around with me. He hardened himself for what he had to do.
"Aira, don't you take a hint? I do not like you. Stop following me everywhere!" he shouted at her.
Once again she looked about to cry, then her face turned angry, "Fine, Harry. We aren't friends anymore and seeing that we aren't, I can do this!" she said and she just left, leaving Harry feeling like a jerk. But it was something he had to do, even if it did make him completely miserable.
"Dobby will make the potion for Harry Potter sir. And if Dobby sees the boy again, Dobby will tell Harry, sir," Dobby squeaked, ignoring the scene.
"Thanks, Dobby. And don't call me sir," Harry muttered.
"Yes, sir," Dobby said.
Harry was about to leave when Professor Lupin entered with Aira, giving him one of those Slytherin smirks.
"Harry, you aren't supposed to be out of bed at this time or in the kitchens," Remus reprimanded, "May I ask what you are doing?"
"Just getting some food," Harry said
"The kitchens are out of bounds. Detention," Remus said, "To the both of you."
"Detention to both of us?" Aira repeated.
"Yes, you both were out of bounds. Now, Aira, you can go back up to your dormitory. Harry, come with me," Remus said.
"But Re -er- Professor-" Aira started.
"Go," he said.
Harry followed Professor Lupin out of the kitchens, feeling pissed. He no longer felt bad for telling Aira off, if that's what she's really like. He was so busy thinking about the fact that she ratted him out that he forgot to wonder why Remus wanted to talk to him until they reached his office.
"Have a seat," he pointed to a chair and took a seat opposite him. Harry sat and began to wonder if Aira had told him about the Love Potion idea and if he was in trouble for it.
"Harry, why didn't you to Grimmauld Place with the others for the week?" Remus asked.
"I just rather stay here," Harry said. He thought he'd rather have been in trouble for the potion than talk to Remus about this.
"That's all?" Remus asked, eyebrows slightly raised.
"Yes. It's pretty late, Professor. I'd better go to my dormitory," Harry said, standing.
"Good night, Harry. And if you need to talk, you're always welcome," Remus said.
"I don't need to talk to you about anything," he snapped. He didn't want anyone getting close to him. He left the office swiftly and hurried up to his dormitory.
The rest of the week passed slowly for Harry. He was beginning to feel lonely, though he thought he might as well get used to it. Every day was the same thing. He'd wake very early, get breakfast and come back to his dormitory where he stayed until dinner. It was very boring and he couldn't wait for class to start again, though it meant that he would be among other students again.
He received owls regularly all week and responded to none. He was beginning to feel like he did when at the Dursleys. There was another family he brought danger to. Not going back this summer. I'll be of age, can go where I please, he thought. When the Daily Prophet was delivered, Harry didn't even feel as pleased as he ought to have seeing the articles about Fudge being tried by the Wizengamot for endangering the safety of the Wizarding World over the last year.
And each and every night, without fail, Voldemort came to visit in his dreams. It seemed the more Harry fought to block him, the more he pushed to get in. His last visit had really gotten to Harry.
"Come, now, Harry. What good will resisting me do? If you keep fighting me, I shall begin to pick your friends and family off one by one. I think I'll take the Muggle born first. I tried for her parents earlier, but it seems Dumbledore had them hidden. Oh well. My spies will let me know of their whereabouts.... But, Harry, if you join my ranks, I shall not go after her. I shall let all of your little friends remain alive. You only have to-" And there, Harry was finally able to push him from his mind and he woke in a cold sweat, tangled in his blankets.
When Saturday came, Harry found it harder to shut out his friends. It was easy when they were far away and could only communicate by owl, but now they seemed to stalk him. They were very determined to get him to talk to them. He was able to avoid them that evening by skipping dinner, but he couldn't go without eating for the rest of the year and he was sure to be around them during lessons.
The next afternoon, Harry contented himself by taking out his firebolt and practicing Quidditch for hours. Aira, who had still not given up on following him sat in the stands and watched. He stayed out until he was sure his stomach was eating itself out of hunger and he went into the Great Hall for dinner.
At one end of the Gryffindor table, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and the twins were all sitting and talking. Aira left Harry and sat with them. Harry walked right by and ignored Hermione's attempts to catch his eye. He sat at the end of the table away from everyone else, making his meal hurried as was usual. And when he stood to leave, Hermione followed him. He had been expecting Aira to be the one who followed him. He tried to ignore her as he left the Great Hall, but when he was in the Entrance Hall, she stopped him.
"Harry, what did we do?" she asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off, and continued walking.
"I always thought you were a good friend! But obviously, I was wrong, if you'd just dump us like that!" she shouted.
"It's not like I wanted to! I had to!" he said. He felt like he was tricked into responding.
"And why do you have to? I think I deserve to know at least that!" she shouted.
"Because every person that gets close to me winds up dead! And I don't want that to happen to you!" he shouted back. The few people in the entrance hall were staring at them. He dropped his voice, "And don't try to tell me it won't. I know better than that."
"But Harry, I-" she started and Harry cut her off.
"Just stop," he muttered and set off up the steps. He felt a hand on his shoulder again.
"Hermione, leave-" Harry began, but upon turning around, he saw Remus.
"My office, Harry," he said.
"No thanks," Harry said.
"Not a question," the usually passive professor said and Harry reluctantly let Remus lead him to his office.
"So, now I see why you haven't been with your friends. You think anyone that is close to you is in danger. Am I right?" Remus asked. Harry was getting a little angry with Remus for being nosy, but he nodded.
"I must say, that is unfair to you and to your friends," Remus shook his head, "They would be in danger even if they weren't you friends. Hermione, a muggle-born and the Weasleys openly oppose Voldemort. No one is truly safe from him."
"I'm a threat to everyone. You don't understand," Harry muttered.
"Oh, don't I?" Remus said, "Harry, I worry every day that because of me, people can be killed. I don't know if you've forgotten that I am a werewolf or not. I worry that at any time, if I were to forget to take my potion, I could get loose and..." He trailed off. Harry didn't need him to finish.
"When I was at Hogwarts, I tried to seclude myself everyone, but I found it very lonely. And with Sirius and your father pushing, I found it very hard not to be their friends. I can't imagine how I'd have gotten on with out them. You need friends, Harry," Remus said.
Looking at the situation from this point of view, Harry realized that it was a bit stupid to do that but Voldemort's voice from his dreams crept back up. 'I think I'll take the Muggle born first...' He remembered Remus's offer to talk to him if he wanted to, "He said he was going to kill my friends one by one."
"Harry, he threatened every family in the wizarding world with that. Don't let him fool you. And that just proves you can't abandon your friends. Voldemort already knows who they are, and so it's too late," Remus said.
Harry sighed. He knew Remus was right and felt foolish for ever trying to abandon any one of his friends.
"I suggest you go talk to your friends," Remus smiled, "Maybe you should write to Mrs. Weasley first. She was quite worried when you didn't show up and then ignored all of her letters."
"Thanks," Harry said before leaving. He went up to the owlery looking for Hedwig to send a letter to Mrs. Weasley. He wrote a small letter to her and found Hedwig perched near a barn owl.
"Take this to Mrs. Weasley," he told her. She clicked her beak and took flight out the window. He turned and began to make his way to the common room. As he was passing the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy, he felt many pairs of hands forcing him into the room of requirements. He saw enough red hair to know it was the two youngest Weasleys, Hermione and Aira with them.
Harry didn't fight them off at all. He was forced into a chair by Hermione and Ron, while Ginny and Aira stood at the door to stop him from leaving. He just looked at them, bemusedly.
"You are not going to leave until you hear us out," Ron said and they seemed surprised when he didn't argue.
"Hermione told us all what you said to her about how you can't be our friend because you care about us and all that mushy crap. And I happen to think it's all a pile of bull. Since when do you get to decide how much danger we can handle? I don't remember giving you that authority," Ginny said. Harry was getting quite used to her quick temper. She definitely wasn't that shy little sister of Ron's any more.
"I don't see where you get off deciding who we can or can't be friends with. I think it's up to us to decide if we want to be friends with you," Ron said.
"We knew what we were getting into when we became your friend. If we didn't ditch you yet, what makes you think we'd want to now?" Hermione asked.
Harry just shrugged. He thought he should let them continue if they went through all the trouble of ambushing him like this.
"I thought we proved ourselves last year when we went with you to the Department of Mysteries. We want to be your friends. So get over it," Ron said.
Harry stood and smiled. He shrugged, "Okay then."
They all looked at him surprised. They obviously didn't think he was going to give in so easily. He couldn't help but laugh at the confused looks on their faces. He already felt happier, having them back. He checked the time on his watch. It was seven thirty.
"We have a DA meeting in half an hour. I didn't plan anything for today. Going to help me get ready?" he asked the group of friends.
"I really don't get you..." Ron shook his head.
"I just realized how stupid I was being," Harry shrugged, "Sorry."
"No need to apologize to us. It's Whitley you ought to be worried about. You really pissed her off," Ginny said.
"How bad?" he asked.
"Bad enough," Ron said, "That she called you a selfish prat, a git, a jerk, an as-"
"Okay! I get it," Harry sighed.
"Best thing to do is apologize. She probably won't come to the meeting tonight. Come to think of it, I don't expect many to show at all. You aren't exactly everyone's favorite person right now," Hermione said.
The next thing to happen proved Hermione wrong completely. Whitley came in, out of breath, and threw her arms around Harry.
"Harry, I just heard a girl from Ravenclaw talking. She was saying how you thought you couldn't be friends with us any more, because you thought it would bring us to danger. And I set off to find you and tell you that it was stupid. That it is stupid. I don't care about any of that," she said.
"I'm sorry about being rude the other day. Didn't realize how stupid I was being," Harry said.
"That's alright, now that I know why," she smiled, "You should hear all the girls talking about how caring and sweet you are. I don't think you're most hated person in school any more. Snape's gotten his title back."
Next to arrive were Dean, Seamus, and Neville. The fact that they showed up for the meeting was enough proof that they didn't still think him a jerk and they started talking to him. By eight, every member of the DA had shown up, with the exception of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team members, and Professor Green, who was most likely doing Order business. The meeting was a fairly good one, aside from the exasperating comments from girls about how compassionate he was. He ignored the comments as best he could.
Harry had been practicing the healing charms in his spare time and had mastered the basic ones and the more complex ones to some extent. Hermione had done a much better job with them than Harry and helped when teaching the others.
At the first meeting when Harry decided to try this, they had run into a snag. They had nothing to actually perform the spell on. And, luckily when this thought had run across Harry's mind, a dozen or so lifelike arms had appeared on the desk, each damaged in one way or the other. They continued to use these to practice on. Hermione explained that they were the same things used by healers in training. Harry made a mental note to thank Dobby again about finding this room.
Harry was walking around the room, checking on everyone's progress. After a dozen meetings of practice, the class was able to heal sprains, small cuts, and minor pains. Harry was very satisfied with their progress. In their last Potions class, Parvati had managed to get burnt and she was able to heal the small wound herself. And Neville had received a bite from a Plant in Greenhouse Five, and he had gotten rid of all swelling in his finger himself.
Hermione and Ron were currently involved in another argument and Harry tried to ignore them. They never gave it a rest.
"I don't know why you care. First of all, Viktor and I are only friends. And if we were more than that, it would be none of your business, Ron Weasley," Hermione said angrily.
"I don't care what you do. You can go over and visit your little boyfriend. See if I care," Ron said.
"They really need to get together or something..." Ginny muttered, shaking her head.
"Ron and Hermione? Never. They can't go for five minutes without arguing," Harry said.
"Ron likes Hermione!" Ginny whispered, "And I think Hermione likes him. They'll never admit it, though.
Harry thought the idea of Ron and Hermione together was funny at first, but then it seemed to make sense to him that they would be together. He shrugged it off. Didn't matter either way. By the end of the meeting, it did, though, with all their arguing. He figured that if they admitted to each other that they liked one another, maybe they'd cut out the whole argue whenever possible thing.
The next morning when Harry woke, it took a few seconds to realize why he was feeling so horrible. When it did sink in, he felt even worse. The attack, the deaths, and the danger he brought to those close to him. The Weasley's had lost there house. The Grangers were in danger and had to be brought to Grimmauld place. And Bill was attacked. All of this because of him.
As he lay there thinking it over, he found that everyone that was remotely close to him was in danger because of him. Every time someone got hurt or died, it was because of him. The more he thought on it, the worse he felt.
By the time the sun had completely risen, he had decided that there was only one way to protect his friends. And when Ron woke and offered him a sleepy 'Good morning.' Harry stood and walked out of the room without answering him, leaving Ron looking confused.
He hurried through the common room to the portrait, ignoring Hermione's, Ginny's, and Aira's sombre hellos. He was halfway down the corridor when he noticed he had company. Aira was tagging along with him, like she always did.
"Stop following me everywhere! Leave me alone!" he snapped at her.
She stood looking hurt. He turned and left. He felt bad, but he didn't want her to be in danger like the others by being friends with him. He sat alone at breakfast and as soon as he saw Ron, Hermione, and Ginny coming, he made to leave. But Ginny stopped him in the outside.
"What's wrong with you?" she shouted at him, catching him by surprise. Hermione was beside her, glaring at him.
"That was really rude, Harry. I never expected that from you," Hermione said.
"Aira's up in the dormitory crying! She just lost her mother! And you have the audacity to snap at her like that!" Ginny continued. Between the two of them, he couldn't get a word in. "You may think you can do as you please, Harry Potter, but you can't! So drop the attitude!" Ginny yelled.
"Just leave me alone," he muttered quietly.
"Well, I am glad too see that I'm not the only one who thinks you arrogant," Snape said, giving him a nasty smile. Harry stopped and turned around. He glared at the greasy professor through narrowed eyes.
"Shut up. Just shut your mouth," Harry said, not caring about anything at the moment.
"Thirty points from Gryffindor, Potter. You may get away with that with the headmaster, but you certainly shall not with me. And if you have one more outburst like that you'll be out of my class," Snape hissed.
"Do me the favor," he muttered under his breath and before Snape could say a word, he stormed away.
He had no where to go but his dormitory, so he closed the hangings around his bed, and started to work on his homework to keep his mind busy. He had enough homework piled up to keep him busy for many hours. The first assignment he grabbed was a half finished Potions essay. He tore it to pieces.
He had been working for an hour when Ron interrupted, "Harry?"
"Go away," Harry answered.
"Mum wrote to say we go home on the train today. It leaves at noon," he said.
"I'm not going," Harry said. He did want to, but he needed to break it off with everyone. It was better for them that way, safer.
"What's up with you?" Ron asked.
Harry didn't answer and Ron left. When it was almost noon, Ron returned with Hermione.
"The train leaves in fifteen minutes, Harry," Hermione said, "Mrs. Weasley is going to be upset when you don't come."
"Oh well," Harry forced out.
"Harry, what's bothering you? You can tell us. We're your friends," she said.
"Were my friends. I don't want you as friends any more. I only want you to leave me alone," Harry said. He could hear Hermione sob and the door shut.
"You really are being an arrogant jerk..." Ron said, before following after her. Harry was glad he didn't have to look them in the face when he said all that. He wasn't sure if he could have. And to top off his bad feelings, only an hour the train had been gone when he received a letter from Ginny, telling him what a jerk he was.
That evening, when he went down to get dinner, it was amid glares from his fellow students. It turned out that they all found out what he'd done to Aira and Hermione and thought him a jerk. Dean Thomas, who he always got on well with, told him he couldn't believe how horrible he was to his friends.
It didn't help when that evening, Voldemort visited his dreams. There was no odd dream, but only the hiss of his voice in Harry's ear.
"Harry, my dear boy. I must say you are doing a fine job," he said. Harry tried his hardest to block him out. Voldemort continued, "I, myself, was a loner in school and look how powerful I am, now."
Harry cleared his mind and tried to block him out.
"Come now, Harry. It is ever so much easier to join me than fight me. I've done many great things. You, too, can--"
And there, to Harry's great satisfaction, it stopped.
The next morning, Harry got an owl from Ron and one from Mrs. Weasley. He supposed they were there talking about what was wrong with him, but they didn't know half of what he knew. They didn't understand.
He hadn't left his dormitory the whole of yesterday, but hunger got to him and he went down to breakfast. He noticed that Dumbledore was watching him. He made it a quick meal and took some biscuits up with him so he didn't have to go back down for lunch. Aira had not given up on following him, but he couldn't bring himself to yell at her again and instead, only ignored her. She didn't say a thing, which was quite unusual, as she usually never shut up.
When seven thirty came around, Harry made his way up to the headmaster's office for his Occlumency lesson, fully determined to do well. He managed to shake Aira off before arriving at the entrance. Whitley was coming down the corridor towards him.
"Harry, I haven't seen you all week," she said. Harry knew this would be hard. He definitely didn't want to have to tell Whitley off. He tried to ignore her.
"Are you alright?" she asked, "You don't seem like yourself."
"I'm fine. Just deciding how to give this annoying someone the hint to leave me alone," he said coldly. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"We're over," she said shortly, before stalking away. Harry felt horrible. He knew it wouldn't be good to have his emotions going before Occlumency, but he couldn't help but feel like shit. The only reason he was even continuing Occlumency was to keep his friends safe.
He said the password and the gargoyle moved, revealing the entrance. Harry climbed up the spiraling staircase and knocked on the door, expecting that usual calm voice of the headmaster asking him to come in but instead he received a snappy, "You're late. Get in here."
It was not the voice of Dumbledore, but that of his most hated Professor. He had the impulse to turn and leave right then. He definitely was not in the mood to spend two hours having Snape break into his mind repeatedly, especially when he had told him off only the day before. He fought the impulse and forced himself to open the door. Snape looked about as happy to see Harry, as Harry did him.
"Alright, Potter. Let's get this over with," he snapped, "And I assure you...I am no happier with this arrangement than you. Legilimens!"
Harry wasn't really caught off guard by the suddenness of the spell. He knew Snape would try that and he was prepared when it hit him. Blocking the spell did not prove to be difficult at all, after he had been practicing with Dumbledore, who was no doubt much more adept than Snape with it.
Harry was able to throw the spell off easily, but he didn't. He decided to have a little fun with it. He focused entirely on one specific memory, that of his first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson with Remus. The memory of Snape dressed in Witch's robes and carrying a purse brought a smirk to Harry's face as he finally threw off the spell.
Snape had his eyes narrowed at Harry, then he grinned sideways, "Let's try that again. Legilimens!"
This time Harry didn't have as much control over it and had no idea why. And to his horror, the memory that came to him, was one most dreaded. He watched as his Godfather fell behind the veil. Just as he completely disappeared, Harry was brought back to Dumbledore's office. He was on all fours, tears trying to push their way out, but he wouldn't let them, not in front of Snape, not in front of anyone. He hurriedly got back on his feet.
"It is much harder to block your mind when one concentrates on finding a specific memory," Snape said.
Harry no longer had to fight back tears. He was beyond tears. He was pissed. Snape tried for that memory. That asshole wanted him to see Sirius die again. The urge to hex Snape into nothing but a shriveled mess was so strong, that Harry was surprised he didn't do it. His rage must have shown in his face, because Snape took a step backward.
"That is all for today," he snapped.
Harry turned and left the office, fuming. If only he had Pure Arts now, he could have not only ripped a paper in half, but the whole damn tree it came from. He sighed in exasperation and shook his head when he saw Aira was sitting right beside the stone gargoyles, waiting for him. She followed him without a word.
As he reached the Gryffindor House Corridor, he turned the opposite way. He wanted to go down to the kitchens and visit Dobby, maybe convince the elf to slip poison into a certain Professor's goblet.
"Harry, we aren't supposed to go wandering at night," Aira spoke up.
"We aren't going to, but I am," he snapped at her. He expected her to go back to the common room, but the sound of footsteps a few feet behind him told him she was still following. He didn't care either way. If she wanted to be his new shadow, fine by him. Once he reached the portrait, he tickled the pear and entered. House elves instantly surrounded him and Aira, asking what they could get them. Harry asked for some treats just to please the passionate elves.
"Harry Potter, sir! Dobby is glad to see you!" squeaked the familiar elf. He had on a new array of clothes. This time it was a bright orange shirt, yellow soccer shorts, and the flippers that divers wear. And, of course, he was topped with a dozen or so hats from Hermione. Aira giggled and Harry unintentionally smiled.
"How are you doing, Dobby?" Harry asked politely.
"Dobby is doing fine, sir! Just fine," he squeaked, "Does Harry Potter, sir, remember what Dobby is telling him about the boy with the bad thing on his arm?"
Aira looked at him curiously and Dobby dropped his voice to what was a whisper by his standards, but that anyone could still hear, "Dobby still did not see his face, but he comes into these kitchens, sir! But we house elves is chasing him away."
"Someone was sneaking around in here?" Harry asked.
"Yes, sir. But we is chasing him away," Dobby repeated.
"Well, all I can say is try to keep him out of here and try to find out who he is," Harry said.
"Yes, sir," he nodded, "Can Dobby do anything else for Harry Potter?"
"Well, actually. Yes," he smirked at his idea, "Dobby, do you think you can get me the ingredients for a love potion?"
"Of course. Dobby knows right where to get them. Can Dobby ask who it is for?"
"Professor Snape," Harry said.
"Ah, but why not pick someone better? He does not seem your type, Harry Potter, sir," Dobby said innocently.
Harry cringed at the thought, "No, Dobby. Not for Snape to fall in love with me. For Snape to fall in love with... Let's see... How about Professor McGonagall? It'd be funny to see her reaction to his new emotions."
"Harry, I really shouldn't just let you do this," Aira said, "But I suggest you should pair Snape with Trelawney. Kill two birds with one stone, you know..."
This is going to far, Harry thought, she has to stop palling around with me. He hardened himself for what he had to do.
"Aira, don't you take a hint? I do not like you. Stop following me everywhere!" he shouted at her.
Once again she looked about to cry, then her face turned angry, "Fine, Harry. We aren't friends anymore and seeing that we aren't, I can do this!" she said and she just left, leaving Harry feeling like a jerk. But it was something he had to do, even if it did make him completely miserable.
"Dobby will make the potion for Harry Potter sir. And if Dobby sees the boy again, Dobby will tell Harry, sir," Dobby squeaked, ignoring the scene.
"Thanks, Dobby. And don't call me sir," Harry muttered.
"Yes, sir," Dobby said.
Harry was about to leave when Professor Lupin entered with Aira, giving him one of those Slytherin smirks.
"Harry, you aren't supposed to be out of bed at this time or in the kitchens," Remus reprimanded, "May I ask what you are doing?"
"Just getting some food," Harry said
"The kitchens are out of bounds. Detention," Remus said, "To the both of you."
"Detention to both of us?" Aira repeated.
"Yes, you both were out of bounds. Now, Aira, you can go back up to your dormitory. Harry, come with me," Remus said.
"But Re -er- Professor-" Aira started.
"Go," he said.
Harry followed Professor Lupin out of the kitchens, feeling pissed. He no longer felt bad for telling Aira off, if that's what she's really like. He was so busy thinking about the fact that she ratted him out that he forgot to wonder why Remus wanted to talk to him until they reached his office.
"Have a seat," he pointed to a chair and took a seat opposite him. Harry sat and began to wonder if Aira had told him about the Love Potion idea and if he was in trouble for it.
"Harry, why didn't you to Grimmauld Place with the others for the week?" Remus asked.
"I just rather stay here," Harry said. He thought he'd rather have been in trouble for the potion than talk to Remus about this.
"That's all?" Remus asked, eyebrows slightly raised.
"Yes. It's pretty late, Professor. I'd better go to my dormitory," Harry said, standing.
"Good night, Harry. And if you need to talk, you're always welcome," Remus said.
"I don't need to talk to you about anything," he snapped. He didn't want anyone getting close to him. He left the office swiftly and hurried up to his dormitory.
The rest of the week passed slowly for Harry. He was beginning to feel lonely, though he thought he might as well get used to it. Every day was the same thing. He'd wake very early, get breakfast and come back to his dormitory where he stayed until dinner. It was very boring and he couldn't wait for class to start again, though it meant that he would be among other students again.
He received owls regularly all week and responded to none. He was beginning to feel like he did when at the Dursleys. There was another family he brought danger to. Not going back this summer. I'll be of age, can go where I please, he thought. When the Daily Prophet was delivered, Harry didn't even feel as pleased as he ought to have seeing the articles about Fudge being tried by the Wizengamot for endangering the safety of the Wizarding World over the last year.
And each and every night, without fail, Voldemort came to visit in his dreams. It seemed the more Harry fought to block him, the more he pushed to get in. His last visit had really gotten to Harry.
"Come, now, Harry. What good will resisting me do? If you keep fighting me, I shall begin to pick your friends and family off one by one. I think I'll take the Muggle born first. I tried for her parents earlier, but it seems Dumbledore had them hidden. Oh well. My spies will let me know of their whereabouts.... But, Harry, if you join my ranks, I shall not go after her. I shall let all of your little friends remain alive. You only have to-" And there, Harry was finally able to push him from his mind and he woke in a cold sweat, tangled in his blankets.
When Saturday came, Harry found it harder to shut out his friends. It was easy when they were far away and could only communicate by owl, but now they seemed to stalk him. They were very determined to get him to talk to them. He was able to avoid them that evening by skipping dinner, but he couldn't go without eating for the rest of the year and he was sure to be around them during lessons.
The next afternoon, Harry contented himself by taking out his firebolt and practicing Quidditch for hours. Aira, who had still not given up on following him sat in the stands and watched. He stayed out until he was sure his stomach was eating itself out of hunger and he went into the Great Hall for dinner.
At one end of the Gryffindor table, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and the twins were all sitting and talking. Aira left Harry and sat with them. Harry walked right by and ignored Hermione's attempts to catch his eye. He sat at the end of the table away from everyone else, making his meal hurried as was usual. And when he stood to leave, Hermione followed him. He had been expecting Aira to be the one who followed him. He tried to ignore her as he left the Great Hall, but when he was in the Entrance Hall, she stopped him.
"Harry, what did we do?" she asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off, and continued walking.
"I always thought you were a good friend! But obviously, I was wrong, if you'd just dump us like that!" she shouted.
"It's not like I wanted to! I had to!" he said. He felt like he was tricked into responding.
"And why do you have to? I think I deserve to know at least that!" she shouted.
"Because every person that gets close to me winds up dead! And I don't want that to happen to you!" he shouted back. The few people in the entrance hall were staring at them. He dropped his voice, "And don't try to tell me it won't. I know better than that."
"But Harry, I-" she started and Harry cut her off.
"Just stop," he muttered and set off up the steps. He felt a hand on his shoulder again.
"Hermione, leave-" Harry began, but upon turning around, he saw Remus.
"My office, Harry," he said.
"No thanks," Harry said.
"Not a question," the usually passive professor said and Harry reluctantly let Remus lead him to his office.
"So, now I see why you haven't been with your friends. You think anyone that is close to you is in danger. Am I right?" Remus asked. Harry was getting a little angry with Remus for being nosy, but he nodded.
"I must say, that is unfair to you and to your friends," Remus shook his head, "They would be in danger even if they weren't you friends. Hermione, a muggle-born and the Weasleys openly oppose Voldemort. No one is truly safe from him."
"I'm a threat to everyone. You don't understand," Harry muttered.
"Oh, don't I?" Remus said, "Harry, I worry every day that because of me, people can be killed. I don't know if you've forgotten that I am a werewolf or not. I worry that at any time, if I were to forget to take my potion, I could get loose and..." He trailed off. Harry didn't need him to finish.
"When I was at Hogwarts, I tried to seclude myself everyone, but I found it very lonely. And with Sirius and your father pushing, I found it very hard not to be their friends. I can't imagine how I'd have gotten on with out them. You need friends, Harry," Remus said.
Looking at the situation from this point of view, Harry realized that it was a bit stupid to do that but Voldemort's voice from his dreams crept back up. 'I think I'll take the Muggle born first...' He remembered Remus's offer to talk to him if he wanted to, "He said he was going to kill my friends one by one."
"Harry, he threatened every family in the wizarding world with that. Don't let him fool you. And that just proves you can't abandon your friends. Voldemort already knows who they are, and so it's too late," Remus said.
Harry sighed. He knew Remus was right and felt foolish for ever trying to abandon any one of his friends.
"I suggest you go talk to your friends," Remus smiled, "Maybe you should write to Mrs. Weasley first. She was quite worried when you didn't show up and then ignored all of her letters."
"Thanks," Harry said before leaving. He went up to the owlery looking for Hedwig to send a letter to Mrs. Weasley. He wrote a small letter to her and found Hedwig perched near a barn owl.
"Take this to Mrs. Weasley," he told her. She clicked her beak and took flight out the window. He turned and began to make his way to the common room. As he was passing the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy, he felt many pairs of hands forcing him into the room of requirements. He saw enough red hair to know it was the two youngest Weasleys, Hermione and Aira with them.
Harry didn't fight them off at all. He was forced into a chair by Hermione and Ron, while Ginny and Aira stood at the door to stop him from leaving. He just looked at them, bemusedly.
"You are not going to leave until you hear us out," Ron said and they seemed surprised when he didn't argue.
"Hermione told us all what you said to her about how you can't be our friend because you care about us and all that mushy crap. And I happen to think it's all a pile of bull. Since when do you get to decide how much danger we can handle? I don't remember giving you that authority," Ginny said. Harry was getting quite used to her quick temper. She definitely wasn't that shy little sister of Ron's any more.
"I don't see where you get off deciding who we can or can't be friends with. I think it's up to us to decide if we want to be friends with you," Ron said.
"We knew what we were getting into when we became your friend. If we didn't ditch you yet, what makes you think we'd want to now?" Hermione asked.
Harry just shrugged. He thought he should let them continue if they went through all the trouble of ambushing him like this.
"I thought we proved ourselves last year when we went with you to the Department of Mysteries. We want to be your friends. So get over it," Ron said.
Harry stood and smiled. He shrugged, "Okay then."
They all looked at him surprised. They obviously didn't think he was going to give in so easily. He couldn't help but laugh at the confused looks on their faces. He already felt happier, having them back. He checked the time on his watch. It was seven thirty.
"We have a DA meeting in half an hour. I didn't plan anything for today. Going to help me get ready?" he asked the group of friends.
"I really don't get you..." Ron shook his head.
"I just realized how stupid I was being," Harry shrugged, "Sorry."
"No need to apologize to us. It's Whitley you ought to be worried about. You really pissed her off," Ginny said.
"How bad?" he asked.
"Bad enough," Ron said, "That she called you a selfish prat, a git, a jerk, an as-"
"Okay! I get it," Harry sighed.
"Best thing to do is apologize. She probably won't come to the meeting tonight. Come to think of it, I don't expect many to show at all. You aren't exactly everyone's favorite person right now," Hermione said.
The next thing to happen proved Hermione wrong completely. Whitley came in, out of breath, and threw her arms around Harry.
"Harry, I just heard a girl from Ravenclaw talking. She was saying how you thought you couldn't be friends with us any more, because you thought it would bring us to danger. And I set off to find you and tell you that it was stupid. That it is stupid. I don't care about any of that," she said.
"I'm sorry about being rude the other day. Didn't realize how stupid I was being," Harry said.
"That's alright, now that I know why," she smiled, "You should hear all the girls talking about how caring and sweet you are. I don't think you're most hated person in school any more. Snape's gotten his title back."
Next to arrive were Dean, Seamus, and Neville. The fact that they showed up for the meeting was enough proof that they didn't still think him a jerk and they started talking to him. By eight, every member of the DA had shown up, with the exception of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team members, and Professor Green, who was most likely doing Order business. The meeting was a fairly good one, aside from the exasperating comments from girls about how compassionate he was. He ignored the comments as best he could.
Harry had been practicing the healing charms in his spare time and had mastered the basic ones and the more complex ones to some extent. Hermione had done a much better job with them than Harry and helped when teaching the others.
At the first meeting when Harry decided to try this, they had run into a snag. They had nothing to actually perform the spell on. And, luckily when this thought had run across Harry's mind, a dozen or so lifelike arms had appeared on the desk, each damaged in one way or the other. They continued to use these to practice on. Hermione explained that they were the same things used by healers in training. Harry made a mental note to thank Dobby again about finding this room.
Harry was walking around the room, checking on everyone's progress. After a dozen meetings of practice, the class was able to heal sprains, small cuts, and minor pains. Harry was very satisfied with their progress. In their last Potions class, Parvati had managed to get burnt and she was able to heal the small wound herself. And Neville had received a bite from a Plant in Greenhouse Five, and he had gotten rid of all swelling in his finger himself.
Hermione and Ron were currently involved in another argument and Harry tried to ignore them. They never gave it a rest.
"I don't know why you care. First of all, Viktor and I are only friends. And if we were more than that, it would be none of your business, Ron Weasley," Hermione said angrily.
"I don't care what you do. You can go over and visit your little boyfriend. See if I care," Ron said.
"They really need to get together or something..." Ginny muttered, shaking her head.
"Ron and Hermione? Never. They can't go for five minutes without arguing," Harry said.
"Ron likes Hermione!" Ginny whispered, "And I think Hermione likes him. They'll never admit it, though.
Harry thought the idea of Ron and Hermione together was funny at first, but then it seemed to make sense to him that they would be together. He shrugged it off. Didn't matter either way. By the end of the meeting, it did, though, with all their arguing. He figured that if they admitted to each other that they liked one another, maybe they'd cut out the whole argue whenever possible thing.