"Captain, I request to transfer to the Enterprise-C."

"For what reason?"

"They need someone at tactical."

"We need you here."

"I'm not supposed to be here sir."

"What did she say to you?"

"I don't belong here sir. I'm, I'm... supposed to be dead."

"She felt it was necessary to reaveal that to you?"

"I felt it was necessary."

"I see." ... You don't belong on that ship, Lieutenant."

"Guinan says I died a senseless death in the other timeline. I didn't like the sound of that, captain. I've always known the risks that come with a Starfleet uniform. If I'm to die in one I'd like my death to count for something."

=========================================================================

Their encounter with the Romulans was over for now. Sela was gone. A cold heaviness settled around Picard's heart.

Guinan silently observed the Enterprise captain who seemed deeply disturbed by something.

If what Guinan claims is true about Enterprise-C...if Sela was honest about her heritage...Blast it, Guinan! How could you have told her she was supposed to be dead!

Guinan could tell their conference was over by Picard's silence. Without a word, she dimissed herself from the Captain's ready room to return to her duties in Ten-Forward.

Picard was unaware that she had left. He let his eyes close, but there was no relief from the face he knew would haunt him now. His thoughts drifted...

=========================================================================

"What in the hell am I doing - crying?"

" Don't worry. There is a new ship's standing order on the bridge. When one is in the penalty box, tears are permitted.

=========================================================================

The corner's of his mouth turned up as he remembered how she had shrugged his hand off of her shoulder, frunstrated and angry with herself for showing weakness, showing fear.

He sighed as the memory faded. A weariness fell upon him; he was exhuasted from the events of the past several days. Perhaps he should take a nap...

"Jean-Luc?"

He felt disoriented as he tried to open his eyes.

"Jean-Luc? Are you all right?"

Picard looked up and found himself looking into the concerned azure eyes of his chief medical officer.

"Yes," he finally. "Bit tired, that's all."

Beverly didn't seem convinced, but she let it go.

"When you have the chance, I'd like to talk to what just happened. About..."

Picard caught her hesitance.

"About Sela?" he supplied.

Beverly pressed her lips together. "Mhmm. At another time, though. You need to rest. Perhaps over dinner.."

"There's no time like the present," he cut her off. Then more gently said, "Please. Sit. I could stand talking to someone about...all this."

The doctor took a seat across from him, leaning her elbows on the desk. She looked at him through firey tendril of hair. There was a pained expression in her eyes.

"I miss her, Jean-Luc. I know it's crazy, but I do."

Picard's heart skipped a beat.

"I know," he said quietly. "I do, too."