Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I still want to own Temari.
Chapter 5
Kimiko was bored. The only thing worse than a bored Kimiko was a P.O.ed Kimiko. Torun sighed. They had only been given A class missions, but most of the time those presented no challenge. This last mission Tishi and Torun just hung out in the bar in Sound Village, getting wasted (A/N Yes they were 14 and getting wasted), while Kimiko went on a slaughter rampage. Again. For the 4th time that year. Tsunade would constantly send them on 'seek and destroy' missions, to hunt down the Sound.
As they were returning, Kimiko was systematically killing all bandits on the trail. Again. Sometimes Torun wondered whether Kimiko enjoyed killing, or was a psychotic freak with chemical instability. He always chose the former. When they reached the village, Torun caught a familiar smell. He held up his hand, and his index finger and pinkie. The sign for danger.
Kimiko instantly disguised her chakra, and came closer to listen to Torun.
"Kyari says that there is a free demon nearby. He says it's Kyubi." Tishimori looked sharply at Torun.
"You sure? I thought he was sealed away permanently until he managed to control his anger, or he was released."
"Yeah pretty sure. Step back. I'm releasing Kyari." Torun quickly made several seals and ended with the seal of the fox. A lump appeared on his shoulder. It started to grow and separate from him. It became an individual who looked almost like Kyubi, except it had Torun's characteristics.
"Hey kits. Long time no see. You grew since the last time I saw you." Kimiko ran up and gave Kyari a hug.
"I miiiiissed yoooou," she crooned. Tishimori nodded.
"Now, back to business kits."
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Tsunade slumped in her chair. She hated this job. Why had her little brother ever wanted the job? She had just spent the whole day doing paper work, and anxiously waiting for Naruto to return, hopefully with Sasuke.
A loud shrieking outside diverted her attention. Kakashi appeared in her office. His eye was uncovered, and his mask barely covered his mouth.
"Hokage-sama, the nine-tails. It's free." Tsunade stood up in shock. 'Kuso. Just what I needed.'
"Come on, lead me to him."
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When she arrived at the scene, she saw the most disturbing sight ever. Kyubi was propping up Naruto and Hinata in an embrace and intertwined their legs. He had Sasuke lie on top of Temari, one hand on her breasts, and the other up her skirt. He had yet to get around to Lee, Kiba, Shikamaru, Kankuro, Neji, and Choji. Gaara was sitting with his arms crossed. Next to him was a badgerfied form of himself.
'This is not what I expected to happen. I thought something more along the lines of MOTHER FRICKIN' ARMAGEDDON.' She screamed the last part out loud.
"Hey, Shukaku who's the hot babe?" asked an approving Kyubi.
"I believe that's the Hokage," answered Gaara. Shikamaru slowly lifted himself of the ground, and when he saw Kyubi, Shukaku and Gaara, he shrugged, muttered about "a troublesome dream within a dream" and went to sleep.
"WHAT THE FRICK IS GOING ON HERE!!!" questioned a very, very, very angry Tsunade. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO AND RAMPAGE SOMETHING AND KILL LOTS OF PEOPLE AND STUFF. AND ALL YOU DO IS SIT HERE AND PLAY PERVERTED PRANKS?!?!?!?!"
Kyubi wiggled a finger in his ear. "Damn those super-powerful senses." He looked at Tsunade. "Do you think all we demons ever do is destroy stuff? We do have a life you know. I was a very happy cook." He sniffed sadly. "Then my restaurant was destroyed, and my family killed. I was very pissed off. So I killed a ton of people who I didn't like. What would you have done?"
Tsunade simply gaped at him.
"Do you have a camera by any chance? No? Crap. All this trouble, and now no way to blackmail them." He suddenly punched air. He connected and sent someone flying through a building.
"Bro? That you?" Kyari stood up from the wreck.
"Kyubi? You're back to normal?"
"Brother!!" The two demon foxes yelled simultaneously and embraced. Tsunade simply stared and fainted from the stupidity of it all. (A/N As I said in chapter 3. I only hope to live.)
"You bastard!!" Temari had woken up.
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Tsunade was massaging her temple. This was very confusing.
"Let me get this straight. Kyubi and Kyari are brothers. Kyubi can fuse with Naruto and Kyari with Torun. Kyari and Kyubi were adopted by your parents. You grew up with them. Kyubi went on a tantrum and destroyed everything, because he wanted to kill the assassins. He then got stuck the way he was, and started killing people for fun. Yondaime then sealed him away, until he calmed down or was released by you."
Tsunade took a breath and continued.
"Kyubi actually doesn't like to fight, but likes to cook. He also has near infinite Chakra. Kyari on the other hand likes to fight, and also has near infinite Chakra. The Akatsuki is after both of them so as to fuse them with a child and raise a super-nin. Shukaku has been released from Gaara, and he is just a lonely badger, who never had any friends. He then was sealed away. And there are several different demons out in the world similar to Kyubi, Kyari, and Shukaku?"
Rukani nodded after every statement. The door opened, and Kyubi walked in. He was sniggering.
"Did you do what I think you did?" asked Rukani. Kyubi grinned and nodded. An explosion rocked the building.
"I pity the fools who were in the bathroom," said a laughing Kyubi. Tsunade gave Rukani a questioning look.
"Cherry-bomb down the toilet. All the toilets shot water up anyone who was using them, and your plumbing burst." Rukani fell of his chair laughing. Tsunade groaned and slumped on her desk. The door opened again and a soaked Kyari walked in.
"I. Despise you. Oh. So very much." Kyubi was laughing so hard that tears were forming in his eyes. An ANBU rushed in.
"Hokage-sama what happ-" He cut off when he saw Rukani and Kyubi laughing on the floor and Kyari glaring pure death at both. "Oh. Never mind." He turned and walked off, slamming the door as hard as he could and the shattering glass part.
In a matter of four hours Kyubi and an army of Kage Bunshins had sent the whole village into chaos. Stink pellets were being shot at people, houses were T.P.ed and random pranks were pulled on everyone, everywhere, all the time. No one was safe. Except Rukani and Kyubi. The perpetrators. And a select few, who were respected/feared by Rukani and Kyubi. Surprisingly, this list did not include Tsunade. As a matter of fact the only person on the list was Kimiko, because no one wanted to piss her off.
Earlier that day, Tsunade had gone to the bathroom and discovered that someone had spray painted her hair hot pink with green polka dots. She hated pink with a passion.
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Sasuke had had the worst day of his life. First Naruto beat him. Second he had woken up when Temari kneed him in the crotch. Third when he got out of the shower he discovered that someone had taken all his clothes. All of them, down to the last pair of briefs. Only a frilly, pink lace-skirt, with bra and panties, remained. Someone would die.
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A/N
Hopefully not me. I hate Sasuke, so I will be very mean to him. It's fun.
Chapter 5
Kimiko was bored. The only thing worse than a bored Kimiko was a P.O.ed Kimiko. Torun sighed. They had only been given A class missions, but most of the time those presented no challenge. This last mission Tishi and Torun just hung out in the bar in Sound Village, getting wasted (A/N Yes they were 14 and getting wasted), while Kimiko went on a slaughter rampage. Again. For the 4th time that year. Tsunade would constantly send them on 'seek and destroy' missions, to hunt down the Sound.
As they were returning, Kimiko was systematically killing all bandits on the trail. Again. Sometimes Torun wondered whether Kimiko enjoyed killing, or was a psychotic freak with chemical instability. He always chose the former. When they reached the village, Torun caught a familiar smell. He held up his hand, and his index finger and pinkie. The sign for danger.
Kimiko instantly disguised her chakra, and came closer to listen to Torun.
"Kyari says that there is a free demon nearby. He says it's Kyubi." Tishimori looked sharply at Torun.
"You sure? I thought he was sealed away permanently until he managed to control his anger, or he was released."
"Yeah pretty sure. Step back. I'm releasing Kyari." Torun quickly made several seals and ended with the seal of the fox. A lump appeared on his shoulder. It started to grow and separate from him. It became an individual who looked almost like Kyubi, except it had Torun's characteristics.
"Hey kits. Long time no see. You grew since the last time I saw you." Kimiko ran up and gave Kyari a hug.
"I miiiiissed yoooou," she crooned. Tishimori nodded.
"Now, back to business kits."
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Tsunade slumped in her chair. She hated this job. Why had her little brother ever wanted the job? She had just spent the whole day doing paper work, and anxiously waiting for Naruto to return, hopefully with Sasuke.
A loud shrieking outside diverted her attention. Kakashi appeared in her office. His eye was uncovered, and his mask barely covered his mouth.
"Hokage-sama, the nine-tails. It's free." Tsunade stood up in shock. 'Kuso. Just what I needed.'
"Come on, lead me to him."
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
When she arrived at the scene, she saw the most disturbing sight ever. Kyubi was propping up Naruto and Hinata in an embrace and intertwined their legs. He had Sasuke lie on top of Temari, one hand on her breasts, and the other up her skirt. He had yet to get around to Lee, Kiba, Shikamaru, Kankuro, Neji, and Choji. Gaara was sitting with his arms crossed. Next to him was a badgerfied form of himself.
'This is not what I expected to happen. I thought something more along the lines of MOTHER FRICKIN' ARMAGEDDON.' She screamed the last part out loud.
"Hey, Shukaku who's the hot babe?" asked an approving Kyubi.
"I believe that's the Hokage," answered Gaara. Shikamaru slowly lifted himself of the ground, and when he saw Kyubi, Shukaku and Gaara, he shrugged, muttered about "a troublesome dream within a dream" and went to sleep.
"WHAT THE FRICK IS GOING ON HERE!!!" questioned a very, very, very angry Tsunade. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO AND RAMPAGE SOMETHING AND KILL LOTS OF PEOPLE AND STUFF. AND ALL YOU DO IS SIT HERE AND PLAY PERVERTED PRANKS?!?!?!?!"
Kyubi wiggled a finger in his ear. "Damn those super-powerful senses." He looked at Tsunade. "Do you think all we demons ever do is destroy stuff? We do have a life you know. I was a very happy cook." He sniffed sadly. "Then my restaurant was destroyed, and my family killed. I was very pissed off. So I killed a ton of people who I didn't like. What would you have done?"
Tsunade simply gaped at him.
"Do you have a camera by any chance? No? Crap. All this trouble, and now no way to blackmail them." He suddenly punched air. He connected and sent someone flying through a building.
"Bro? That you?" Kyari stood up from the wreck.
"Kyubi? You're back to normal?"
"Brother!!" The two demon foxes yelled simultaneously and embraced. Tsunade simply stared and fainted from the stupidity of it all. (A/N As I said in chapter 3. I only hope to live.)
"You bastard!!" Temari had woken up.
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Tsunade was massaging her temple. This was very confusing.
"Let me get this straight. Kyubi and Kyari are brothers. Kyubi can fuse with Naruto and Kyari with Torun. Kyari and Kyubi were adopted by your parents. You grew up with them. Kyubi went on a tantrum and destroyed everything, because he wanted to kill the assassins. He then got stuck the way he was, and started killing people for fun. Yondaime then sealed him away, until he calmed down or was released by you."
Tsunade took a breath and continued.
"Kyubi actually doesn't like to fight, but likes to cook. He also has near infinite Chakra. Kyari on the other hand likes to fight, and also has near infinite Chakra. The Akatsuki is after both of them so as to fuse them with a child and raise a super-nin. Shukaku has been released from Gaara, and he is just a lonely badger, who never had any friends. He then was sealed away. And there are several different demons out in the world similar to Kyubi, Kyari, and Shukaku?"
Rukani nodded after every statement. The door opened, and Kyubi walked in. He was sniggering.
"Did you do what I think you did?" asked Rukani. Kyubi grinned and nodded. An explosion rocked the building.
"I pity the fools who were in the bathroom," said a laughing Kyubi. Tsunade gave Rukani a questioning look.
"Cherry-bomb down the toilet. All the toilets shot water up anyone who was using them, and your plumbing burst." Rukani fell of his chair laughing. Tsunade groaned and slumped on her desk. The door opened again and a soaked Kyari walked in.
"I. Despise you. Oh. So very much." Kyubi was laughing so hard that tears were forming in his eyes. An ANBU rushed in.
"Hokage-sama what happ-" He cut off when he saw Rukani and Kyubi laughing on the floor and Kyari glaring pure death at both. "Oh. Never mind." He turned and walked off, slamming the door as hard as he could and the shattering glass part.
In a matter of four hours Kyubi and an army of Kage Bunshins had sent the whole village into chaos. Stink pellets were being shot at people, houses were T.P.ed and random pranks were pulled on everyone, everywhere, all the time. No one was safe. Except Rukani and Kyubi. The perpetrators. And a select few, who were respected/feared by Rukani and Kyubi. Surprisingly, this list did not include Tsunade. As a matter of fact the only person on the list was Kimiko, because no one wanted to piss her off.
Earlier that day, Tsunade had gone to the bathroom and discovered that someone had spray painted her hair hot pink with green polka dots. She hated pink with a passion.
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Sasuke had had the worst day of his life. First Naruto beat him. Second he had woken up when Temari kneed him in the crotch. Third when he got out of the shower he discovered that someone had taken all his clothes. All of them, down to the last pair of briefs. Only a frilly, pink lace-skirt, with bra and panties, remained. Someone would die.
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A/N
Hopefully not me. I hate Sasuke, so I will be very mean to him. It's fun.