Hello, all. ^_^ This is the grand Tag-Team project . . . er . . . yeah.
Basically, eight of us fan fiction authors created a joint account and we will each write a chapter of this story. NONE of us have any idea what the next one will do. I'm lucky, I get to start, I GET TO INFLICT PAIN AND TORTURE!!!!!!!
So . . . without further ado, the The Yu-Gi-Oh! Craziness Guild presents . . .
"Science Equals Paaaain".
This Chapter's Author: Ethelflaed
Disclaimer: (sweat drops) I own nothing but my chapter. Sad to say, I don't own anything else. Except the general plot.
Note: Yamo=The Evil Freakish Marik That Needs a Haircut (B/k's. If you use it without crediting it to her, I will attack . . .)
Another Note: This is one of those stories where Evil Bakura, Yami, and Yamo have their own bodies for no apparent reason.
Two More Notes: Mouself helped me with this somewhat. YOU RULE! And, CPegasus will probably kill me for something I did in here . . .
(And if you want to see a full list of the authors involved, go to our author page and read your heart out.)
********
Tea Gardner ran up to the rest of the group, waving an annoucement. "HEY! GUYS! I JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING!"
"I'm dying of excitement," muttered Kaiba, who had been dragged along by Mokuba, as always.
"Can I kill someone?" asked Yamo.
"What is it?" inquired Bakura.
"Can I inflict pain and torture on mortals?"
"Can I banish BOTH of the other spirits to the Shadow Realm?"
"Will there be food?"
"Can I flick dice at people?"
"Can I impress Seren-er, can I show how intelligent I am?"
"Seto, you're gonna do it, riiiiiiiight????"
"You too, Joey!"
"Yami, stop trying to kill Evil Bakura!"
"Can I be pharaoh?"
Tea sighed. "NO. There's a science project contest, and I thought it would be fun to enter . . . what do you guys think?"
You could almost hear the crickets chirp. Then Evil Bakura turned to his hikari. "Ryou, is chemistry science?"
"Ye-OH NO YOU DON'T!"
Evil Bakura suddenly took on a dreamy expression. "Frankium . . . water . . . EXPLOSION!"
"Really?" asked Marik, eyes gleaming.
Evil Bakura nodded rapidly, a giant smile on his face. "Where do we sign up?"
********
Somehow, they all ended up there. "All" being Tea, Kaiba (ah, the puppy eyes of Mokuba), Mokuba, Joey, Tristan, Duke Devlin, Serenity, Yugi, Yami, Bakura, Evil Bakura, Marik, and Yamo.
When they arrived, it turned out that it wasn't QUITE, "sign-up-and-proceed- to-blow-holes-in-random-things". They had to have a partner.
What's more . . . the partner had to be chosen randomly.
So they all put their names into large rotating ball, much like the one used to determine the Battle City finalists. Queerly enough, except for person in the corner, they were the only ones there. Quite a coincidence, no? Who would have thought it . . .
And so, the first two names were spat out. The director picked them.
"Ryou Bakura . . . and Seto Kaiba!"
"Great. I'm stuck with a fluffy, polite guy . . . oh well. It could have been Wheeler."
"I take offense from that!"
The next two names came out.
"Mokuba Kaiba . . . and Tristan Taylor!"
Mokuba blinked at Tristan. Tristan blinked at Mokuba. Then they both shrugged.
"Sounds good to me."
"Same here."
And then . . .
"Evil Bakura . . . and Yugi Moto!"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'LL GET THE PUZZLE NOW!"
Yugi scooted away, looking distinctly worried. The director took some aspirin.
"Tea Gardner . . . and Marik Ishtar!"
Marik gulped, and started to inch away. Tea smiled evilly, snatched the Millennium Rod, and whacked him with it. The director sighed, and took some aspirin.
"Serenity Wheeler . . . and Duke Devlin!"
Duke Devlin stuck his tongue out at Tristan, and Serenity . . . looked clueless . . . as usual.
"Yamo Ishtar . . . and Yami Moto!"
The two stared at each other. Yamo started to laugh evilly and fiddle with a suspiciously sharp-looking object. Yami started to smirk and fiddle with a strange, dark mist that was emanating from his hand.
"Joey Wheeler . . . and Rebecca Hawkins!" (And so the one in the corner is revealed.)
"AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"He's mean, teddy!"
The director handed them all papers to sign, and, being somewhat curious, Evil Bakura read one out loud.
"The Domino High Science Committee is not responsible for loss of sleep, life, friends, sanity, assorted body parts . . ." The tomb robber glanced at Yugi evilly, upon seeing the next item listed. " . . . Millennium Items, soul, mind, Duel Monster cards, companies . . ."
Kaiba stared. "Who's in charge of this company, Pegasus??"
" Never! I banished-I mean, not a chance."
********
{Random Office That Says: "Head of Domino Science Fair"}
Pegasus sighed, and turned on Funny Bunny. "I do love education . . ."
********
"I guess it's a long shot," conceded Kaiba.
The director cleared his throat to gather the attention of the others. "You will each be given a room to work in and also a free meal at a randomly selected restaurant in order to get to know each other. Please stop at the receptionist's desk to obtain both of these."
And so . . . they went to lunch.
********
Bakura and Kaiba entered "Ye Olde Tea Place" and sat down at the nearest table.
"Hallo!" said a random lady.
"Hallo!" said Bakura.
"Hallo!" said random guy in the corner.
About ten "hallo"s followed. Kaiba twitched. "I'm surrounded by people . . . WITH ENGLISH ACCENTS . . ."
After the choruses of "hallo" ended, Bakura ordered tea and Kaiba ordered bangers and mash along with tea. After a short wait, the food arrived. Kaiba poked the sausages with his fork . . .
And discovered they were frozen.
Poke, poke, poke.
"That's why you get the tea," Bakura told him. "The tea is good. The rest . . ."
"This is RAW, Bakura."
"Sorry."
"Want to skip lunch?"
"Quite."
********
Yami checked the name, then looked up at the Chili's before them. Well . . . there was no putting this off . . .
He and Yamo entered and seated themselves at a booth, then ordered.
"I'll . . . have root beer . . . and a . . . uh . . . salad."
"I'll have . . ." Yamo checked the menu. Yes, it was there. "A Bloody Mary. And a hamburger. A nice, raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw hamburger."
The waiter coughed. "Proof of age?"
"Huh?"
"For the Bloody Mary."
"Oh . . . I'm sixteen."
"Sorry, sir, but the law says you have to be eighteen. How about a Shirley Temple?"
"A WHAT??????"
"Good!"
********
Yugi and Evil Bakure stood at the end of a very loooooooooong line in order to get an All-You-Can-Eat buffet. And the tomb robber was growing very impatient. So impatient, in fact, that he cracked.
"GO AWAY YOU FOOLISH IDIOTIC MEDDLING MORTALS OR I SHALL BANISH YOUR PATHETIC FLEA-SIZED BRAINS TO THE SHADOW REALM!"
The pronouncement worked wonders. Not only did the line disappear, but the restaurant became magically empty. Yugi put his head in his hands.
"STEAK!!!!!" whooped Evil Bakura, piling about three of them on the plate.
"I am soooooo ashamed . . ."
"So, how about we do our project on human anatomy?" asked Evil Bakura, eating the steak rather . . . messily.
"Uh . . . how about a nice little mobile of the planets?"
********
Yamo was growing impatient. Yami said torture wasn't a science, and Yamo hadn't done something psychotic since he put Tabasco sauce in Yami's root beer. And that hadn't really been psychotic . . . Yami's reaction, maybe, but not the actual act.
The waiter arrived with their food, and an idea occurred to the psycho one . . .
"HEY! YOU'RE LATE!!!!!"
"Huh-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
Yami watched, with a sweat drop almost the size of his head, as Yamo proceeded to chase the waiter around the restaurant, dagger drawn.
"GET BACK HERE!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
********
Kaiba and Bakura set to work building a miniature volcano. With Kaiba's resources and the great intelligence of both of them, they soon had completed a scarily accurate volcano, and now all they had to do was test it. In fact, there remained to be added only one ingredient . . . lemon juice. Kaiba being one of those people that shop in bulk all the time, he pulled out a giant bottle and prepared to pour a tiny little bit in it.
"Make sure you only put a little in!" said Bakura. Kaiba turned around slightly, looking very annoyed. Unfortunately, when he moved, he ended up pouring the whole bottle in.
"Look, I am not going to put too much in!!!!!"
Bakura, from the other side of the volcano, started pointing and making squeaking noises.
"What-"
Kaiba saw the bottle, stared at it, blinked . . .
BOOM!!!!!!!!
When the smoke cleared, the volcano was in shambles, and Bakura and Kaiba had been hurled up on opposite walls.
"You-"
"DON'T SAY IT."
"Hmph."
There was silence.
"Bakura?"
"Yes?"
"I think we'd better ditch the volcano."
"Quite. Um . . . Kaiba?"
"Nn?"
"I'm stuck to wall."
"That's pathetic. So am I."
********
Okay, I'm tired, but here we go. Anyway . . . I get to name who goes next. So, Wolf Youkai, Mistress ofCanines, you're IT!
Hope you guys enjoyed this. Whew . . . Well, remember to review! Even you Guildians! (grin grin)
Basically, eight of us fan fiction authors created a joint account and we will each write a chapter of this story. NONE of us have any idea what the next one will do. I'm lucky, I get to start, I GET TO INFLICT PAIN AND TORTURE!!!!!!!
So . . . without further ado, the The Yu-Gi-Oh! Craziness Guild presents . . .
"Science Equals Paaaain".
This Chapter's Author: Ethelflaed
Disclaimer: (sweat drops) I own nothing but my chapter. Sad to say, I don't own anything else. Except the general plot.
Note: Yamo=The Evil Freakish Marik That Needs a Haircut (B/k's. If you use it without crediting it to her, I will attack . . .)
Another Note: This is one of those stories where Evil Bakura, Yami, and Yamo have their own bodies for no apparent reason.
Two More Notes: Mouself helped me with this somewhat. YOU RULE! And, CPegasus will probably kill me for something I did in here . . .
(And if you want to see a full list of the authors involved, go to our author page and read your heart out.)
********
Tea Gardner ran up to the rest of the group, waving an annoucement. "HEY! GUYS! I JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING!"
"I'm dying of excitement," muttered Kaiba, who had been dragged along by Mokuba, as always.
"Can I kill someone?" asked Yamo.
"What is it?" inquired Bakura.
"Can I inflict pain and torture on mortals?"
"Can I banish BOTH of the other spirits to the Shadow Realm?"
"Will there be food?"
"Can I flick dice at people?"
"Can I impress Seren-er, can I show how intelligent I am?"
"Seto, you're gonna do it, riiiiiiiight????"
"You too, Joey!"
"Yami, stop trying to kill Evil Bakura!"
"Can I be pharaoh?"
Tea sighed. "NO. There's a science project contest, and I thought it would be fun to enter . . . what do you guys think?"
You could almost hear the crickets chirp. Then Evil Bakura turned to his hikari. "Ryou, is chemistry science?"
"Ye-OH NO YOU DON'T!"
Evil Bakura suddenly took on a dreamy expression. "Frankium . . . water . . . EXPLOSION!"
"Really?" asked Marik, eyes gleaming.
Evil Bakura nodded rapidly, a giant smile on his face. "Where do we sign up?"
********
Somehow, they all ended up there. "All" being Tea, Kaiba (ah, the puppy eyes of Mokuba), Mokuba, Joey, Tristan, Duke Devlin, Serenity, Yugi, Yami, Bakura, Evil Bakura, Marik, and Yamo.
When they arrived, it turned out that it wasn't QUITE, "sign-up-and-proceed- to-blow-holes-in-random-things". They had to have a partner.
What's more . . . the partner had to be chosen randomly.
So they all put their names into large rotating ball, much like the one used to determine the Battle City finalists. Queerly enough, except for person in the corner, they were the only ones there. Quite a coincidence, no? Who would have thought it . . .
And so, the first two names were spat out. The director picked them.
"Ryou Bakura . . . and Seto Kaiba!"
"Great. I'm stuck with a fluffy, polite guy . . . oh well. It could have been Wheeler."
"I take offense from that!"
The next two names came out.
"Mokuba Kaiba . . . and Tristan Taylor!"
Mokuba blinked at Tristan. Tristan blinked at Mokuba. Then they both shrugged.
"Sounds good to me."
"Same here."
And then . . .
"Evil Bakura . . . and Yugi Moto!"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'LL GET THE PUZZLE NOW!"
Yugi scooted away, looking distinctly worried. The director took some aspirin.
"Tea Gardner . . . and Marik Ishtar!"
Marik gulped, and started to inch away. Tea smiled evilly, snatched the Millennium Rod, and whacked him with it. The director sighed, and took some aspirin.
"Serenity Wheeler . . . and Duke Devlin!"
Duke Devlin stuck his tongue out at Tristan, and Serenity . . . looked clueless . . . as usual.
"Yamo Ishtar . . . and Yami Moto!"
The two stared at each other. Yamo started to laugh evilly and fiddle with a suspiciously sharp-looking object. Yami started to smirk and fiddle with a strange, dark mist that was emanating from his hand.
"Joey Wheeler . . . and Rebecca Hawkins!" (And so the one in the corner is revealed.)
"AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"He's mean, teddy!"
The director handed them all papers to sign, and, being somewhat curious, Evil Bakura read one out loud.
"The Domino High Science Committee is not responsible for loss of sleep, life, friends, sanity, assorted body parts . . ." The tomb robber glanced at Yugi evilly, upon seeing the next item listed. " . . . Millennium Items, soul, mind, Duel Monster cards, companies . . ."
Kaiba stared. "Who's in charge of this company, Pegasus??"
" Never! I banished-I mean, not a chance."
********
{Random Office That Says: "Head of Domino Science Fair"}
Pegasus sighed, and turned on Funny Bunny. "I do love education . . ."
********
"I guess it's a long shot," conceded Kaiba.
The director cleared his throat to gather the attention of the others. "You will each be given a room to work in and also a free meal at a randomly selected restaurant in order to get to know each other. Please stop at the receptionist's desk to obtain both of these."
And so . . . they went to lunch.
********
Bakura and Kaiba entered "Ye Olde Tea Place" and sat down at the nearest table.
"Hallo!" said a random lady.
"Hallo!" said Bakura.
"Hallo!" said random guy in the corner.
About ten "hallo"s followed. Kaiba twitched. "I'm surrounded by people . . . WITH ENGLISH ACCENTS . . ."
After the choruses of "hallo" ended, Bakura ordered tea and Kaiba ordered bangers and mash along with tea. After a short wait, the food arrived. Kaiba poked the sausages with his fork . . .
And discovered they were frozen.
Poke, poke, poke.
"That's why you get the tea," Bakura told him. "The tea is good. The rest . . ."
"This is RAW, Bakura."
"Sorry."
"Want to skip lunch?"
"Quite."
********
Yami checked the name, then looked up at the Chili's before them. Well . . . there was no putting this off . . .
He and Yamo entered and seated themselves at a booth, then ordered.
"I'll . . . have root beer . . . and a . . . uh . . . salad."
"I'll have . . ." Yamo checked the menu. Yes, it was there. "A Bloody Mary. And a hamburger. A nice, raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw hamburger."
The waiter coughed. "Proof of age?"
"Huh?"
"For the Bloody Mary."
"Oh . . . I'm sixteen."
"Sorry, sir, but the law says you have to be eighteen. How about a Shirley Temple?"
"A WHAT??????"
"Good!"
********
Yugi and Evil Bakure stood at the end of a very loooooooooong line in order to get an All-You-Can-Eat buffet. And the tomb robber was growing very impatient. So impatient, in fact, that he cracked.
"GO AWAY YOU FOOLISH IDIOTIC MEDDLING MORTALS OR I SHALL BANISH YOUR PATHETIC FLEA-SIZED BRAINS TO THE SHADOW REALM!"
The pronouncement worked wonders. Not only did the line disappear, but the restaurant became magically empty. Yugi put his head in his hands.
"STEAK!!!!!" whooped Evil Bakura, piling about three of them on the plate.
"I am soooooo ashamed . . ."
"So, how about we do our project on human anatomy?" asked Evil Bakura, eating the steak rather . . . messily.
"Uh . . . how about a nice little mobile of the planets?"
********
Yamo was growing impatient. Yami said torture wasn't a science, and Yamo hadn't done something psychotic since he put Tabasco sauce in Yami's root beer. And that hadn't really been psychotic . . . Yami's reaction, maybe, but not the actual act.
The waiter arrived with their food, and an idea occurred to the psycho one . . .
"HEY! YOU'RE LATE!!!!!"
"Huh-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
Yami watched, with a sweat drop almost the size of his head, as Yamo proceeded to chase the waiter around the restaurant, dagger drawn.
"GET BACK HERE!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
********
Kaiba and Bakura set to work building a miniature volcano. With Kaiba's resources and the great intelligence of both of them, they soon had completed a scarily accurate volcano, and now all they had to do was test it. In fact, there remained to be added only one ingredient . . . lemon juice. Kaiba being one of those people that shop in bulk all the time, he pulled out a giant bottle and prepared to pour a tiny little bit in it.
"Make sure you only put a little in!" said Bakura. Kaiba turned around slightly, looking very annoyed. Unfortunately, when he moved, he ended up pouring the whole bottle in.
"Look, I am not going to put too much in!!!!!"
Bakura, from the other side of the volcano, started pointing and making squeaking noises.
"What-"
Kaiba saw the bottle, stared at it, blinked . . .
BOOM!!!!!!!!
When the smoke cleared, the volcano was in shambles, and Bakura and Kaiba had been hurled up on opposite walls.
"You-"
"DON'T SAY IT."
"Hmph."
There was silence.
"Bakura?"
"Yes?"
"I think we'd better ditch the volcano."
"Quite. Um . . . Kaiba?"
"Nn?"
"I'm stuck to wall."
"That's pathetic. So am I."
********
Okay, I'm tired, but here we go. Anyway . . . I get to name who goes next. So, Wolf Youkai, Mistress ofCanines, you're IT!
Hope you guys enjoyed this. Whew . . . Well, remember to review! Even you Guildians! (grin grin)