Science Equals Paaaain Chapter 5: The Duct Tape Tells All, a yu-gi-oh fanfic

Hello! It is the Rebecca's turn . . . known as Beccamabobbers. Ky didn't have any ideas, and then Kiita decided that SHE didn't have a clue what to write, so the torch has been passed to me.

If anyone would mind reading and reviewing my stories . . . (glassy eyes) I feel ignored . . .

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh!, why in three cheeses would I be writing fanfiction? And I also don't own most of the other things in here. Just the chapter.

Oh. And the name Yamo belongs not to me, it is B/k's.

Well, ON WITH THE STORY!

"Fool," muttered Yamo. "You didn't have to duct-tape me to the nearest public phone..."

"I had no CHOICE in the matter!" yelled Yami, "When you went to the aisle with the baseball bats, you had gone waaaaay to far!"

"I am Pharaoh, and my new law is DUCT TAPE IS NOW BANNED! HA! IN YOUR FACE, SLAVE!"

". . . But I'm the Pharaoh."

"No, I am!"

"But I'm the Pharaoh!"

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

Yami produced a roll of duct tape from his coat pocket.

"The roll of duct tape says that I am!"

Yamo blanched.

"I'll . . . I'll duel you for the title of Pharaoh!"

One shadow game later...

"Grr! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE, Mr. Starhead!" Yamo yelled, lacking an arm.

"The roll of duct tape says I'm not a starhead!"

Yamo turned white.

"Agreed."

The scene changes, to where Serenity and Duke (A/n: DEATH TO THE DUBBERS! HOW DARE THEY CALL HIM DUKE?!) Are happily testing the properties of maple syrup on their paper napkins. The author is bored already with them, so the scene will change again.

"If...If you don't agree to the project about using various chemicals on Millennium Items, I'll mind control you!"

Whack.

"Or not."

In case you didn't figure it out already, Malik and Tea were at it again.

"I WANT TO DO A PROJECT ON THE LIFE CYCLE OF A COCKROACH! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, LIVE WITH IT!"

"Tea, your Caps Lock is on . . . "

"Oops. Sorry."

"How about we try making a homemade bomb! That would get us extra credit!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!"

"Your Caps Lock is on again."

"No, I'm just pressing the Shift key."

Stare.

"How does that work anyways? Aren't we supposed to be talking?"

"Point taken."

A moment of silence.

". . . So, Malik, what ARE we going to do?"

"I have no idea."

"Umm . . . "

"How about a project on how the Millennium Items work?" He pointed his rod at Tea. She suddenly was lacking the pupils in her eyes.

"Yes," she said in a strange double-voice. "That would do very nicely."

The scene begins to swirl around you again, and changes.

"HOW are you supposed to read a mortal-y book on those accursed Krispy Kremes, when your hands are glued to your leather jacket?

"Don't worry, I just want to look at the pictures!"

Stare.

"Why did you open that can of 'frosting' anyways?"

"I wanted to try it! I didn't think that it was epoxy glue!"

"How are you planning to open the book?"

"I'll use my hair!"

Realizing that it was a wonderful opportunity to steal the Millennium Puzzle while Yugi's hands were . . . preoccupied, Yami Bakura grabbed the cord and lifted the puzzle over Yugi's head.

"Hey! Give me back my puzzle!"

"No."

"I'll do anything!"

A demented grin slowly crept over the psycho one's face.

"Anything?"

Yet again, the scene changes, to a boy with a blond mountain ontop of his head, and an annoying kid.

"He's mean, Teddy! He doesn't want to do a project about whose teddy bear is softer!"

The blond-mountain-head-boy ran away screaming. It scared him. The person who was running the science fair scared him. Rebecca scared him. The author of this chapter, whose name is cooincidentally, also Rebecca, scared him. All the DDoD scared him.

Everything scared him. So against everything, he summoned his Jinzo. He could be happy now.

Again, the scene changes.

"Let's forget the volcano thing, okay, Bakura?"
"I suppose so. We don't wish to get you stuck to the wall again, do we?"

"No we don't. Let's just write essays."

"Okay . . . "said Bakura, looking doubtful.
Kaiba pulled out a pen and began furiously writing.

After a few seconds of writing, Bakura leaned over Kaiba's shoulder and asked "What are you writing about?"
"Nitrites," Kaiba mumbled.

Bakura read what Kaiba had written so far.
(A/n: I stole this from my encyclopedia. No own-y!)

Nitrite is a compound of the nitrite anion and some other element. An anion is a negatively charged ion. Inorganic nitrites are stable and soluble in water. Most organic nitrites are made from alchohols.

". . . Kaiba?"

Kaiba grunted.
"Are you sure the teachers will be able to understand that?"

Kaiba set down his pen.
"True enough."
"Let's just stick to the volcano, shall we?"

"Point taken."

Again again, the scene changes to 2 previously mentioned characters.

"No, Bakura! Stealing is not a science!"
"Diddling, then."
Yugi was confused. "Diddling?"

"Yes, diddling."
"What's diddling?"
"Stealing."
"I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT STEALING ISN'T A SCIENCE!"

"But diddling is," Yami Bakura said as he strode over to the bookshelf of his house.
"But it's stealing . . . "
"No, it's diddling," Bakura said, as he grabbed the big black book of Edgar Allan Poe and searched for the page. "Here. Read." He shoved it into Yugi's hands. Unfortunately, the pages turned with Bakura's rough handling of the book. Now it said The Masque of the Red Death. Yugi began to read. A few minutes later, he was shivering with fright.
"And the . . . and the Red Death killed them all!" he said, in wide-eyed horror.

". . . That's not Diddling . . . "

Yugi stared in horror at the nearest clock.

"You read The Masque of the Red Death. Try page 315," Bakura said, polishing the Millennium Puzzle.

"Okay, got it. Diddling." He read it.
"Bakura! That is not a science!"

Yami Bakura made a motion under the title.

"Considered as one of the Exact Sciences. Drat," said Yugi.

"Diddling it is!"

So, that is my chapter. Mouself, I pass the torch unto thee . . . just be careful not to burn anyone, okay?