Flying Lessons, Chapter 4
"Bates IDC."
"Drop the shield."
Elizabeth just manages to keep the ice cold fear out of her voice. She does pale and Peter, who notices, starts to put the pieces together as to what is probably about to come through the gate.
"Dr. Beckett to the gate room. Possible medical emergency."
Elizabeth turns and gives Peter a small, taut smile of thanks for his quick thinking. The whole command center is silent as they wait for the first person to appear through the event horizon.
Two men walk through first, carrying a body between them. A woman runs after them, carrying two P90s. The remaining four walk through backwards, their guns pointed toward the enemy on the other side of the wormhole. The wormhole disengages and the four men lower their weapons.
Weir is running down the stairs as Ford and McKay set Sheppard down on the gateroom floor. She sees him clutching at his chest and writhing in pain. McKay, Ford, and Teyla all have blood on the front of their uniforms.
"Just hold on, sir. We're here. We're back." The total panic in Aiden's voice does nothing to reassure her or John.
Beckett's team arrives and rushes to Sheppard who is now groaning with pain through gritted teeth. Teyla has the presence of mind to stop Elizabeth before she can drop down on the floor next to John.
"You must let them work. There is nothing we can do for him."
Teyla's voice is eerily calm and Elizabeth uses its strength to pull herself together. Ford is trying to help, but is only getting in the way. McKay has to physically pull him away from their fallen commander. They run out after the medical team as they move Sheppard to the infirmary.
Weir stands just inside the infirmary doors, unintentionally staking out the same spot that Sheppard had claimed several months before. She notices, in a kind of hysterical subconscious thought, that blood from where Teyla grabbed her arm is starting to dry. She thinks that the stain will never come out now and almost laughs at the absurdity of it all.
"Aaargh!"
"Hold him down, damn it!"
Beckett and his medical team are struggling with Sheppard's flailing limbs on the bed. The doctor looks over at the people assembled at the door and whispers something to one of his staff. He squares his shoulders before walking over to Weir and Sheppard's team. One look at Carson's face tells Elizabeth that her fears are well-founded.
"No."
The word comes out in a strangled sob as the dam on her emotions breaks. Tears course, unheeded, down her cheeks and she doubles over. Only McKay's quick arm around her waist keeps her from collapsing on the floor. He's been waiting for her to crumble. Waiting for her to realize what he and Teyla knew the moment they saw the Major after he'd been shot. Nobody, not even the great John Sheppard, takes that much damage and survives.
Weir is leaning against McKay, who looks like he's trying to hold his own tears back. Teyla seems to be saying a prayer as she lets silent tears fall. Ford looks confused at Elizabeth's reaction. Beckett feels his own sadness weighing down on his shoulders as he approaches the group.
Elizabeth straightens, lifts her chin, and pulls a little way away from Rodney. She can't keep the tears from continuing to fall, but she knows that weakness is not what they need from her right now.
"Dr. Beckett?"
"Dr. Weir...I'm sorry. There's nothing to be done. The damage is too extensive. All we can do now is try to control his suffering."
"You can't just give up on him!" Beckett seems to expect Ford's outburst and shakes his head. The Lieutenant looks around frantically, not wanting to believe the look of loss already on their faces. Teyla places a hand on Aiden's arm, but a yell from over by the bed keeps her from saying anything to comfort him.
"Dr. Beckett! He won't – let us – sedate – oomph!"
Sheppard continues to struggle on the bed. He has managed to pull the IV bag down, throw a syringe across the room, and shove two nurses into the next bed. The total panic in his eyes makes Elizabeth want to run away and pretend none of this is happening. Instead, she takes slow, measured steps towards the bed.
John's thrashing stops when he sees her standing over him. Elizabeth is afraid of what her face can't hide from him. What she sees in his eyes has her leaning against the bed for support. He knows. He's not writhing in pain - he's fighting to say goodbye without medication. She motions for the nurse to move away from the bed.
His arm comes up to brush his knuckles against her cheek. Elizabeth clutches at his hand with both of her own. Her hot tears mix with the dried blood on his hand.
"Please don't leave me," she whispers. The soft smile he gives her is tragic and pierces her through the heart.
John's attention shifts away from her as the members of his team come up to say their last goodbyes. He smiles bravely for them, but the hand she holds is clenched in pain. Elizabeth looks up at the nurse holding the syringe and nods. His hand relaxes in her grip as the fast-acting sedative takes hold. His eyes rove over her face longingly one last time before they close in sleep.
Elizabeth lowers his hand to the bed and takes a step back. He's no longer in pain, which is only a small consolation. His pain is now radiating from his closest friends standing vigil at his bedside. They can do nothing but watch as the man, whose strength they've come to rely on, is taken away from them.
Elizabeth stands stiffly by the bed, her face stoic. Inside, she is railing at whatever gods rule this galaxy and how they can be so cruel. How can they take this man away from her? He has become so much more than her best friend and confidant. He's her sanity and she refuses to imagine a life without him. With the anger comes guilt. Guilt and pain over what could have been.
As she stands, watching the panel display his ever weakening heartbeat, her fury threatens to overcome her.
"No. Not today. Not like this."
Everyone in the infirmary is startled by the vehemence in Elizabeth's voice. She turns away from the bed.
"Rodney, come with me."
"But..." McKay doesn't see why she would want to be anywhere but here.
"Now."
Her tone of voice leaves no room for questions and McKay follows Weir out of the infirmary. The others watch her walk out the door and think that she's overcome with grief. Teyla knows better. She saw something flash in Weir's eyes before she left. Teyla starts to pray in earnest. Whatever Elizabeth is planning on doing, Teyla hopes she does it quickly.
Several levels down, Weir strides into the chair room and points McKay at the left hand chair.
"Sit."
"But..."
"Stop arguing with me Rodney. Sit! Just concentrate on keeping the chair active and don't get in the way."
McKay quickly sits in the command chair and Weir follows suit. She hopes she can do this on her own without Sheppard sitting in the other chair. Elizabeth takes a deep breath and an image of the infirmary appears above them.
Several people are still standing around Sheppard's bed. Teyla is holding his left hand, Ford his right. Beckett is at the foot of the bed. The sheet covering John is stained with blood and the heart monitor is beeping achingly slow.
Please let me be right about this. I read all the reports. The Ancients were the more advanced race. If the Goa'uld and the Asgard have the technology, then surely the Ancients...
Rodney turns in shock toward Elizabeth's chair.
"Holy crap! Why didn't I think of that?!"
Shush Rodney, I need to concentrate.
McKay looks back at the image in front of him.
In the infirmary, a blue light starts to emanate from the ceiling above Sheppard's bed. Everyone takes a step back in shock. Teyla looks up at the light and smiles.
From her chair, Elizabeth can feel the last bit of life leaving John's body. The heart monitor in the infirmary beeps once and then stills.
No...
The light above the bed starts to glow a deeper blue as Elizabeth focuses all of her thought and energy into healing the man on the bed. Beneath the sheet, the torn and jagged pieces of tissue start to knit together. Elizabeth can feel her own energy draining.
Just a little more time.
The heart monitor starts to beep in an erratic and then steady rhythm. Sheppard pulls in a ragged breath as his eyes open. His thoughts fly across to the command chair.
Elizabeth
John
The light above the bed disappears as both command chairs power down. McKay jumps up with a whoop of joy and turns toward Elizabeth.
In the infirmary, everyone rushes over to the now awake and alert Major Sheppard. He sits up and the sheet falls away, revealing smooth, undamaged skin. There is a chorus of gasps around the bed. Before anyone can verbalize their amazement, another voice sounds over the main communications system.
"McKay to Beckett. I need a little help here."