Lizzie POV
I winced after Heather's song and attempt to woo Haldir was over. I gripped Rumil's neck tighter and sighed.
"Are we there yet?" said the human who needed some serious help.
"No and will you please act like a tree and be silent?" Haldir said.
That afternoon, I found a patch of Kingsfoil in some bushes. The scene with Sam and Aragorn shot through my head. I giggled and put it in my pocket.
Heather walked up with her hand rummaging through her purse.
"I have to have a smoke, I've been dying for one all day!" She took one out and I grabbed it from her. I also grabbed the box from her purse and threw both into the nearby river.
"Why'd you do that? You know that-" I cut her off.
"Save it!" I took the Kingsfoil out and put it into her hand. "If you get a craving for a cigarette, chew on some of this." She was still looking at the river.
"But what about my cigarettes?"
"Forget them. Middle-Earth hasn't invented drugs yet. You can't change their evolution." I walked off and Rumil found me.
"Would you like a shoulder rub, or a foot massage?" I laughed.
"I'm afraid not. Why don't you go have some "me" time." He looked at me strangely but kissed my hand and left. I sat down and softly sang a song that I had thought of when I first met Haldir. It fit him and Heather.
"Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together
If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life
Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life
Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba
Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together
So happy together
How is the weather
So happy together
We're happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)"
(Happy Together; Artist: Simple Plan)
I ended the song, laughing.
Heather POV
We set off again twenty minutes later. I was so tired, and all I wanted to do was go home, my real home in Regular Earth. I wondered if my cat was ok, I wondered what grade I had gotten on my critical essay of "Germinal" by Emilie Zola.
I walked in silence, unusual for me. Haldir kept shooting me what I called the-be-silent-puny-mortal look. The others just kept on walking. I hate Middle Earth, I thought angrily. I just want to go the heck home.
Three hours later, we finally reached the outskirts of the city of Caras Galadhon. We entered the gate of the city and man alive, it was more beautiful than anything Peter Jackson could have created. Haldir and his brothers immediately took us to the "palace-talan thingy" where we would find the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien forest.
I felt sick. Would we become slaves to the Elves? Oh God, I hope not, I thought, wondering what it would be like to wash the Lorien brothers' laundry. Yuck.
We climbed this huge staircase...ugh, stairs. I hated stairs, especially the stairmaster at the gym. I tell ya, it could work the ghetto booty off of any girl! I'm getting off subject. We finally reached the throne room or whatever the heck they called it of the Lord and Lady.
'Oh great,' I thought, 'a life time of servitude here I come, and I almost hold a bachelor's degree. Won't Mommy be proud?'
Haldir and his brothers kept to the entrance of the room and the Lord and Lady descended from their thrones. Wow, powerful stuff. They were ethereal, fairy-like...beautiful.
The Lady Galadriel spoke first, "Elizabeth and Heather," she said slowly, "Welcome to Caras Galadhon. (pause) You are probably wondering why you have been sent here."
'That's the understatement of the century,' I thought sarcastically.
She smiled and looked at me, "Ah, Heather. You hide your true feelings behind a mask of sarcasm and carelessness."
I just stared like an idiot.
"I am not clear yet as to why you two were sent here. But you were, and as of now, I do not know of any way to send you back from whence you came. But you may remain here with us in Lothlorien until your heart desires something else, or you may travel to Gondor and see Denethor, the Steward. What path will you choose?"
Lizzie spoke first, "I choose to stay in Lorien."
"And you, Heather?" Galadriel prodded.
"Well I can't go home. So I choose to stay in Lorien as well," I said bitterly.
"We have no empty talans right now, but Elizabeth, you will stay with Rumil and Orophin," then she looked at me, and my heart clenched in horror, "And you Heather, you will stay with Haldir."
I turned around to face Haldir, and his face was white with frustration and outright anger at the Lady's decision. I smiled sweetly and looked at the Lord and Lady, "Thank you so much for your hospitality. And thank you for letting me room with Haldir, he's been nothing but pure sugary nice to us since we got here."
After we left the Lord and Lady, Lizzie and I said goodbye for the moment and went with our respective guardians. I picked up my heavy bag and followed Haldir who was walking at a very fast pace.
"Hey roomie! Wait up!" I called to him.
He stopped and waited for me to huff and puff my way to his fine self.
"You know, I am not an Elf, so I do get tired. Will you please carry my bag?"
He simply glared at me, "You lied to me."
"What?" I asked innocently, "You would have killed me had I told you the truth."
"I want to kill you right now."
"You're insane, you know that?"
"Me? I am not insane! You! You are the one who is insane with all of your singing and all of your strange talk! You aren't even from Middle Earth!"
"You think I want to be stuck here?! I had a life where I come from! I had my own place, I was in school for Heaven sakes! How would you like to be dropped into my world with nothing save a few items?!" I was yelling now.
"You still lied to me!" he snapped.
"You want the truth?"
"Of course!"
"Fine, here's the Godforsaken truth about me! I'm twenty-one years old, I speak three languages, my name is Heather, I'm Catholic, I live in Alabama, United States of America, I have a cat named Smeagol, and a car named Rosalita! I love Thai food, and my weaknesses are drinking, smoking, and JRR Tolkien!" I screamed.
He said nothing, just looked shocked.
"And," I continued, "I probably know more of your stupid Elvish history that you do!"
"You know nothing of Elves," he said coldly.
"I know enough that I saved your pathetic self back there. I know, Marchwarden, that you would have been severely reprimanded for your actions when you first met us. But I saved your booty, whether you like to admit it or not, you owe me."
"I owe you nothing," he said icily.
"Fine," I said, "Not only will I tell Galadriel of your actions, but I will also tell her you refused to house me."
"You would do no such thing."
"Oh ho! Wouldn't I?" I laughed.
He picked up my bag, "Come on, let's go."
I smiled triumphantly and followed him to his talan.
"Whoa, nice place there roomie," I said sarcastically when we reached his talan.
He glared at me.
It was a big four room treehouse, as much as I can compare to. Private bathing quarters, a bedroom, a kitchen (as far as I could guess), and a main common room. Sparsely furnished too. I ran to the bedroom and threw my stuff on the floor and jumped on the bed. "Niiiice!"
He glared, "You will sleep on the floor."
"Yeah, right. I have back problems, I have to sleep on a bed. Oooh we can share!!!" I smiled crazily.
He said nothing and went to the weapons cabinet in the room and put his weapons away, lovingly. Touching them as a man touches a woman. Softly, gently, carefully.
"Dude, you seriously need a woman."
"What do you know of such matters."
"More than you think," I said absently, digging through my bag, pulling out my change of clothes. Jeans, belt, socks, panties, bra, shirt, shoes, I went through my checklist mentally.
I started to change my clothes unconsciously, smelling my clothes, reminded of home. I pulled off my sports bra tank before I realized I was not alone. Haldir of Lorien was staring at me, I was naked from the waist up.
"Oh dear Lord!" I gasped, clutching my shirt to my chest.
He stared at me wide eyed, a faint blush creeping up his face to the tips of his pointed ears.
I turned around, "So, what do you want me to do for you while I live here?" Oh, that sounded so bad.
He cleared his throat, "You are free to do what you want, Lady Heather." He had turned back to his weapons cabinet.
"So what is there to do here in Lothlorien?" I asked, dressing quickly.
He shut the door to the cabinet. "What do you like to do?" he asked.
I pulled on my shoes, "Lots of things."
"Like what?" he asked impatiently.
"You can turn around now," I said flopping back on the bed, "I don't know, I like to write, I like to drive around town blaring my music, you can sit with me you know."
He walked over to his wardrobe on the other side of the room, and I turned away.
"So what do you like to do, Marchwarden?" I asked, flipping through my Vogue magazine.
I heard him changing into clean clothes. "Long walks under the mallorn trees and candlelit dinners." He said sarcastically.
I laughed, "Oh Haldir, I never knew you could be such a smart guy."
He said nothing in return, but I knew he was smiling.
"Come," he said in his regular Haldir tone, "You must be hungry, and I don't feel like making anything."
"I can cook!" I boasted, one of my few domestic talents.
"If you ability to cook is anything like your manners, then I fear you would poison me, now come, we are meeting Rumil and Orophin at the dining halls."
I laughed, "Oh boy, Haldir, you and me are gonna have some good times," I said following him out the door.