Harry Potter Meets the Insane Writers
Watcher of Darkness: - -;;; My writing muses died, I swear.... I can't update on anything lately...
Megami: ;;; Don't feel bad! I can't either! My parents told me my muses are on vacation!
Yami Me: Sweatdrop The last time something of yours went on 'vacation' aka your fish, your parents really flushed them down the toilet!
Megami: O.o;;;; Nuuuuuu You're lying! runs off looking for her fish, Fluffy and Killer
Watcher of Darkness: Aren't those something you'd technically name dogs?
Yami Me: ... I invoke the right to remain silent.
Suddenly a team of snooty lawyers broke the door down with a Full- Body-Binded Peter Pettigrew. Megami came running back to kill whoever broke her door, purposely stepping all over the frozen, discarded Peter. How ironic that Megami actually is interested in becoming a lawyer.
Snooty Lawyer #1: Anything you say can and will be against you in the court of law.
Snooty Lawyer #4: And don't you need to say something else before you shut up?
Watcher of Darkness: Of course, how could we forget.... rolls eyes
BTW--- forgot to mention: WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING!!! J.K. Rowling owns EVERYTHING in Harry Potter and we own zilch. Except ourselves.
Watcher of Darkness: And I own my own magical stuff! beams proudly
Megami: And I own my Millennium Glaive ::cuddles it:: Ouch! has been cut by it Owie... sniffle
Yami Me: And I own my own spiritual copy of that. ---And my own arsenal of weapons of destruction ::insert psychotic laugh here::
Megami suddenly flipped onto the desk and impulsively struck a pose.
Megami: And I own a pair of black combat boots, an overripe banana bunch, non-waterproof mascara, and a collection of autographs of opponents I've accidentally kicked the soccer ball at who have been permanently handicapped! . victory pose
The special team of lawyers seemed very scared. In an instant they ran out the door screaming in unnaturally high-pitched shrieks.
Megami: ...Does this mean I can have Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?
Watcher of Darkness: I don't think so... sorry.
====In case you want to know (or are more of a visual reader) Character Bios ====
Watcher of Darkness: 5'3" average built guy with red hair and deep blue eyes. Tends to wear black or mage's garb, and carries his magical backpack. Has taken over role of leader of our little gang. Inclined to be sarcastic, make random comments, and join Megami in the acts of hyperness. A mysterious but trusty mage. Starting to question sanity though. Perhaps it's his Yami (that no one really knows about in this story yet) Aliases are Konton and Chaos (as you will see).
Megami: 5'2" athletically built girl with somewhat long black/red hair and deep brown eyes. Tends to wear black, red, silver, and army camouflage print clothing. If need be, imagine a biker Army brat. Megami makes an entertaining (yet weird) loyal friend.
However, she is liable to be hyper, random/spontaneous, moody, mischievous, and be a smart ass. Be very afraid.
Yami Me: 5'2" identical to Megami except for the hair/eye coloring. Her hair is bright silver and has red streaks and her eyes are a matching blood red with some gold flecks. Always wears a combo of black, red, and silver. Apt to be extremely sarcastic and cynical, moody, vengeful, violent when provoked, and impatient but a reliable friend (if you are lucky enough to befriend her and make it out alive). Also known as the DEMONESS (think Satan reincarnate in a chronic PMS-ing girl ::twitch::); be more afraid of her than Megami.
Yami translates into "darkness" so basically, Yami Me is the darker side of Megami, so to speak. And you'll see about Konton's Yami in later chapters...
Ch. 6 Suspicions and Settling In
"Okay, I was thrown from ANOTHER world when Megami and Yami Me landed on top of me. We didn't realize where we were until we felt the dark coldness of the dementors attacking Harry and Dudley---"
Lupin interrupted his tale. "Wait, we should probably make this an official Order meeting, as we have to divulge some Order info to Harry. That means all other kids should go upstairs!"
All the children had protests until Mrs. Weasley intervened. "He's right! ---Don't give me those looks! Fine! Ron and Hermione can stay as Harry will probably tell them everything later anyways!" Fred and George complained about being of age. "FINE! Fred and George can stay. Ginny! Go up to the bedroom until dinner!!!!"
Ginny went out rampaging, causing mayhem behind her in protest. Suddenly a terrible shriek could be heard all over the house.
"Ginny gets her temper from her mother," stated Mr. Weasley.
"FILTH! MUDBLOODS! HALF-BREEDS! FREAKS OF NATURE! HOW DARE YOU BEFOUL MY HONORABLE HOUSE---"
Lupin and Tonks immediately went to close the curtains of Mrs. Black, and eventually Sirius came rushing out to help.
"...And I thought my mom was a tyrant. No offense, Padfoot," commented Megami.
"None taken. Hiya Harry, been looking forward to seeing you again," he said while briefly hugging him. "So are you going to tell everyone how you got here or what?"
The occupants of the kitchen listened thoughtfully to the newcomer's tale. Everyone found out how they're from another world and that they had been thrown into theirs for some 'fateful' reason. Of course, the background information of these teens totally threw them off; they had these so-called 'Author' and 'Authoress' Powers? What the heck was that supposed to mean? Everyone stopped listening to think about the answer.
Konton noticed that no one was really paying attention anymore, just absentmindedly hearing the words. He nudged Megami, who was still trying to say things. She scowled.
"...And so Harry and Draco eloped and formed their own coven at Fort Barbie, where they had a ton of kids and worshipped a wasted corn stalk until the end of their days." She waited for the response.
It took a moment for everyone to register what she had said until they all fell out of their thoughts.
"WHAT!?" Harry had fallen out of his seat when he had realized exactly what she had implied.
Yami Me spoke up. "Well, you all weren't paying attention! God."
"You weren't listening to me!" whined Megami. She pouted.
"How do we know you're telling the truth, eh? What if you're spies for the Death Eaters?!" growled Mad-Eye Moody.
Konton glared right back at him. "Dumbledore trusts us; you'd think that'd be a good enough reason," he countered frostily.
Many people in the room nodded in agreement, including Tonks, Elphias Doge, Sturgis Podmore, Emmeline Vance, and Kingsley Shacklebolt.
"If Albus trusts them then I do," answered Lupin quietly.
Sirius vouched for them. "Yea, me too!"
Harry looked them over. "They saved me and my cousin from the dementors," he commented. "Only to beat Dudley up afterwards," he added, "So they can't be all that bad." The Weasley kids sniggered at the thought of his whale of a cousin being beat up by a girl half his size.
Mad-Eye's large magical eye scanned him over, trying to detect any reason to distrust them. As soon as the Megami realized what he was doing she screamed in protest and hid behind Lupin, who looked confused at her actions.
"NANI O SHIMASU KA!? HENTAI!!! [1] You don't need to strip scan our clothes for weapons! What is this, an airport!?" Megami glared from over Lupin's shoulder. Konton and Yami Me laughed.
Dedalus Diggle asked, "What'd she say before that?"
Konton managed to stop laughing to respond. "She said, 'What are you doing!? Pervert!' Kami-sama, that was rich..."
Moody scratched his chin. "It's a necessary precaution, lass. But I don't see any disguises or concealed weapons him... he passes my first screen test." Megami quickly removed the hidden emergency dagger from her sleeve (from their LOTR adventure) and slipped it into Konton's magical backpack unnoticed. [2]
Yami Me snorted. "Of course not... if we had weapon, do you think we'd really hide them under our clothes when we know about your magical eye and everything else about this world?" Megami suddenly had taken an interest in her boots, as she was looking towards the ground.
Mad-Eye Moody growled. "You can never be too careful! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" His roar made everyone jump slightly, except Yami Me. She countered his calculating gaze with an icy glare that would someday rival Snape's.
Konton interrupted the staring contest. "If you really want to know why we're staying here, it's because we have our own assignment from Professor Dumbledore."
Kingsley Shacklebolt snapped to attention. "Really? And what would that be?"
The three teens glanced at each other, subliminally debating if they should tell. Megami smiled and Yami Me gave a curt nod. Konton decided to divulge the mission onto their eager ears.
"Okay. You wanna know? Dumbledore's setting us up as 5th year Japanese transfer students at Hogwarts this term. We're going to be the Order's agents at school. Megami and I are going to try to be sorted into Gryffindor, so we can keep a close eye on Harry. Yami Me will be a likely candidate for Slytherin, so she can be our eyes and ears in there to get info on He-Whose-Name-Must-Be-Hyphenated and his Death Munchers." There was collective laughter at these nicknames. "Since we come from a world where everyone has read about you, we'll have a better idea on what to do than another witch or wizard. We'll be something like Junior Order members.... except we're not...." ended Konton.
Yami Me rolled her eyes at his remark. "Just think of us as volunteers able to give out information that we, ahem, 'pick up' around Hogwarts."
"It's what I have dubbed as 'Mission P.R.O.B.A.B.L.E.' It's an acronym for Potter Reconnaissance Oath By Authors, Being Liable Experts." "
Ron looked flabbergasted. "Excuse me, the what!? What does all that mean!?"
"Honestly Ron! It means they, the authors, promise to watch over Harry!" explained Hermione.
Megami grinned with feigned innocence. "Ain't it cool!? Besides, who's gonna suspect three students of potential Ministry sabotage?"
Harry thought this over. "That's bloody brilliant!" He caught the looks of the other adults. "Sorry! But it is."
Mad-Eye contradicted Harry's comment. "He's trusting three children we don't even know---"
"Excuse me! You do know us! Konton, Megami, and Yami Me!? Ring a bell? Besides, we promised to Dumbledore! We're not going to be breaking any oaths to him unless we have a death wish, ya know!" retorted Konton.
Tonks spoke up. "They're only kids, Mad-Eye, they're too young to be Death Eaters!"
All the students stood up for the Authors.
"They can't be evil because they saved Harry! They were able to fight off the dementors, weren't they?" reasoned Ron.
"They haven't left the house since they got here so they haven't told any dark wizards about headquarters!" Hermione persisted.
"Come ON! She beat up Dudley because he deserved it! That should count for something!" chorused the twins.
Moody had a headache already. "Fine! They can stay! But I'll be keeping an eye on you three...." with that he clunked his way into a seat.
"Oh, I'm shaking in fear," replied Yami Me sardonically. Moody growled in response.
Megami's stomach unwittingly interrupted an uprising argument by growling for itself. "Hehehe... sorry. Last thing I ate was a fruit parfait for breakfast."
Mrs. Weasley smiled. "Oh don't worry, dear! I'll start making dinner right away!" She busied herself in the kitchen while the others were shooed outside into the main room. Tonks had decided to help Molly Weasley in the kitchen.
"Great! I'm starved," added Ron.
In the meanwhile Harry was in deep discussion with Sirius and Remus, Ron and Hermione were talking, and the twins were secretly scheming with Mundungus Fletcher in a corner. Mr. Weasley went to retrieve the disgruntled Ginny. Apparently the other Aurors were discussing information about Voldemort's whereabouts and schemes. The three teens secluded themselves to a different section of the room.
Megami looked bored. "So now what do we do? Until dinner, I mean."
Konton thought. "Well, we can always play Duel Monsters..."
Megami groaned. "But I suck! And you'll have to play Yami Me, and she's better than both of us, as she's a Yami!"
Konton's face fell for a moment. He whipped out his card deck anyways. "Well time to get down and dirty, anyways. You accept, Yami Me?"
Yami Me smirked. "Of course. Are you ready to get your ass kicked?" She whipped out her dark-magic based deck.
Megami rolled her eyes. She wasn't too big on the actually playing game, so she dug through Konton's magical backpack and pulled out an MP3 player. Konton and Yami Me were busy dueling it out over the playing mat. Megami quickly listened to see if this would be interesting before turning on the MP3 player.
"I play this card in defense mode, as well as a magic card facedown; I dare you to attack me," stated Konton.
Yami Me smirked. "I'll play Dark Elf in attack mode, and bring down your facedown monster." It turns out Konton had lain down a Zombie Dragon, but his face-down card was a trap card, Negate Attack, which saved his monster.
Megami immediately grew bored and decided to sing along to her favorite Japanese tunes. Unfortunately she was in the mood to annoy everyone else so she fixed her voice to be high and shrilly, just to spite everyone. She was almost done listening to "Because of You," the only rock song sung by Ayumi Hamasaki.
"---Aenai jikan ni omoi ga tsunotta
todokanai koe ni kokoro ga itanda
kimi o shiranakatta koro ni
modorenaku natte iruuuuuu----
Doushite tokidoki sunao ni ienai
Doushite tokidoki yasashiku narenai
Doushite tokidoki kizutsuke atteru
Doushite tokidoki tashikame atteru
Doushite tokidokiiiiiiiiiii--- konnani kurushiiiiii----!
Doushite itsudemoooooo---- konnani itoshiiii---!!!!
Kimi ja nakya dame de!!!!
Kimi ja nakya dame de---" [3]
Yami Me ceased her shrilly, accented singing with a couch pillow. "Megami, either stop purposely singing like a banshee, or shut up." Then she went back to drawing cards for her hand. "I play a monster in defense mode. Try and get me, Chaos."
Megami inwardly smirked; her little annoying idea actually got to her own dark side. She was thinking of other ways to annoy everyone while listening to music at full blast. Megami looked around and saw the other Aurors had already left; an hour had passed, or was it the singing that drove them away? She was deaf to the world when she realized the twins were trying to say something to her. She removed her headphones. "What?"
"Is that what music from Japan sounds like?" asked Fred. Megami nodded slowly as if answering a very slow child.
"Wicked!" commented George. "Pity you were singing off key."
Megami scowled. "I was doing that on purpose just to spite all of ya'll. I can sing better... unless you want an encore of the bansheeness....?" She grinned.
Sirius looked at her in surprise. "That was your singing!? I thought my mother's portrait came undone again." Megami stuck her tongue out at him.
The twins were about to open their mouths in response to her request when Konton interrupted. "Please God, no more, Megami---"
Mrs. Weasley suddenly announced, "Dinner's ready! Fred, George, can you please set everything on the table?" Without a second warning, Fred and George apparated into the kitchen. Megami soon followed Harry, Sirius, and Mundungus to the table.
Konton spoke up, without looking up from his hand, "Do you think we should sit at the table, and/or warn Megami about the twins' sudden fetish for magic?"
Yami Me lay a card down. "Nah let her jog her own memory. I play Mystical Sand in attack mode and combine her with Invigoration and Rose Whip, which brings her attack points up to 3200. I'll attack your Flaming Swordsman, thus bringing down your life points to zero," she stated calmly.
Konton cursed under his breath and started to clean up. "I guess we should wait for the all clear to sit at the table. In three... two... one..."
"NO! FRED! GEORGE! JUST CARRY THEM!!!!" Mrs. Weasley screeched from the kitchen. Everyone at the table looked up towards the doorway.
"INCOMING!!!" Megami warned while doing some weird Matrix-like flip from her seat. Had she waited a second longer, the contents of a pitcher of butterbeer would have been on her. Sirius, Harry, and Mundungus had all dived from the table. The knife was still vibrating threateningly where Sirius' hand had been a minute before. "Kiisama, almost forgot about Fred and George's negligence concerning the use of excessive magic." Harry and Sirius laughed.
Fred and George looked hurt. "Hey, you make us sound so irresponsible..." Ron snorted in laughter.
"Nice move, by the way, Megami. How'd you do that?" asked Hermione.
Megami shrugged. "Training and practice, I guess. Being an army brat helps too. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if your darker half wasn't a psychopathic belligerent combat specialist." Yami Me gave a mock bow to the others as she and Konton went to join the others for dinner.
"Everything looks great, Molly," commented Lupin. Konton and Megami were practically drooling over themselves.
Dinner conversation ranged from the Author's world to school life at Hogwarts. All the kids, save polite Hermione and Ginny, were stuffing their faces full of food. Suddenly, Mrs. Weasley changed the direction of the conversation.
"Sirius, I think we should start cleaning the place up a bit, tomorrow. There's a terrible infestation of doxies behind the curtains and there's a nest of dead puffskeins under the couch. I also think there may be a couple boggarts around, as the desk drawer and trunk upstairs keep rattling."
Sirius half-shrugged. "We'll get to work on it tomorrow. But knowing my mother, it may be worse than a boggart; we should have Mad-Eye look at it first."
"I think there may also be a poltergeist disturbing the plumbing upstairs," she added.
"I look forward to it," he replied with some sarcasm.
Harry spoke up. "We'll all help, Mrs. Weasley; don't worry."
The three Authors had one thought crossing all their minds: Great, clean up duty tomorrow.
AN
[1] Nani o shimasu ka!? Hentai! – What are you doing!? Pervert!
[2] His backpack is pretty cool as it can contain an infinite quantity of junk, etc. and he used a charm that prevents X-Ray vision, like lead does.
[3] Because of You by Ayumi Hamasaki ] There is no way you can even accuse us of owning Ayumi Hamasaki or her songs; even if Megami loves her songs.
Translation: My love grew when we couldn't meet, My heart ached because my voice didn't reach you, I find I can't go back to the times, when I didn't know you. Why sometimes I can't say honestly? Why sometimes I can't be tender? Why sometimes do we hurt each other? Why sometimes we check each other? Why sometimes my heart aches so much! Why always my heart goes out to you!!!! I can't think of anyone but you, I can't think of anyone but you---
It must seem pathetic to blackmail for reviews, but please review!!!
Preview of next chapter: "The Horrors of Spring, um, Summer Cleaning"
Yami Me was busy helping Ron, Harry, and the twins tackling the Doxy infestation behind the curtains. Konton was helping Ginny, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus in the task of throwing away all sorts of junk.
In the meanwhile, Megami had wandered into an upstairs room while dusting everything. She was singing more Japanese songs to herself while working.
"Sotto mezameru... hakanai omoi zutto, donna toki demo negau yo... anata ni todoku you ni to..." she sang while doing the Swiffer dance. She finished cleaning the bookshelf when she spotted a dusty trunk along the side of the wall. Megami paused in thought, but let curiosity take hold of her. She slowly opened it when something came bursting out.
Megami backed off in surprise when she realized it must be one of the boggarts Mrs. Weasley suspected resided in the household. She closed her eyes in dread of discovering what her deepest fear was, until she realized she had to deal with it if she ever wanted to make it in Gryffindor. Breathing deeply, she slowly opened one eye and looked at her boggart's form in absolute horror. She opened her mouth into a terrifying scream while trying to defend herself with the feather duster.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Upon hearing her screams, Yami Me and Konton (Konton in the lead) dashed ahead of everyone else to the rescue. When they burst in, they saw quite possibly the most disturbing sight ever....
"What the hell...?"
Konton: finishes reading Niiiiceee....
Yami Me: Nice cliffhanger for blackmail, Hikari.
Megami: I surprise even myself sometimes! ;;;
Konton: Again, plz review!!! Or you won't find out what each of our boggarts [they're not exactly... normal fears...] are unless we get at least 20 reviews!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Watcher of Darkness: - -;;; My writing muses died, I swear.... I can't update on anything lately...
Megami: ;;; Don't feel bad! I can't either! My parents told me my muses are on vacation!
Yami Me: Sweatdrop The last time something of yours went on 'vacation' aka your fish, your parents really flushed them down the toilet!
Megami: O.o;;;; Nuuuuuu You're lying! runs off looking for her fish, Fluffy and Killer
Watcher of Darkness: Aren't those something you'd technically name dogs?
Yami Me: ... I invoke the right to remain silent.
Suddenly a team of snooty lawyers broke the door down with a Full- Body-Binded Peter Pettigrew. Megami came running back to kill whoever broke her door, purposely stepping all over the frozen, discarded Peter. How ironic that Megami actually is interested in becoming a lawyer.
Snooty Lawyer #1: Anything you say can and will be against you in the court of law.
Snooty Lawyer #4: And don't you need to say something else before you shut up?
Watcher of Darkness: Of course, how could we forget.... rolls eyes
BTW--- forgot to mention: WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING!!! J.K. Rowling owns EVERYTHING in Harry Potter and we own zilch. Except ourselves.
Watcher of Darkness: And I own my own magical stuff! beams proudly
Megami: And I own my Millennium Glaive ::cuddles it:: Ouch! has been cut by it Owie... sniffle
Yami Me: And I own my own spiritual copy of that. ---And my own arsenal of weapons of destruction ::insert psychotic laugh here::
Megami suddenly flipped onto the desk and impulsively struck a pose.
Megami: And I own a pair of black combat boots, an overripe banana bunch, non-waterproof mascara, and a collection of autographs of opponents I've accidentally kicked the soccer ball at who have been permanently handicapped! . victory pose
The special team of lawyers seemed very scared. In an instant they ran out the door screaming in unnaturally high-pitched shrieks.
Megami: ...Does this mean I can have Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?
Watcher of Darkness: I don't think so... sorry.
====In case you want to know (or are more of a visual reader) Character Bios ====
Watcher of Darkness: 5'3" average built guy with red hair and deep blue eyes. Tends to wear black or mage's garb, and carries his magical backpack. Has taken over role of leader of our little gang. Inclined to be sarcastic, make random comments, and join Megami in the acts of hyperness. A mysterious but trusty mage. Starting to question sanity though. Perhaps it's his Yami (that no one really knows about in this story yet) Aliases are Konton and Chaos (as you will see).
Megami: 5'2" athletically built girl with somewhat long black/red hair and deep brown eyes. Tends to wear black, red, silver, and army camouflage print clothing. If need be, imagine a biker Army brat. Megami makes an entertaining (yet weird) loyal friend.
However, she is liable to be hyper, random/spontaneous, moody, mischievous, and be a smart ass. Be very afraid.
Yami Me: 5'2" identical to Megami except for the hair/eye coloring. Her hair is bright silver and has red streaks and her eyes are a matching blood red with some gold flecks. Always wears a combo of black, red, and silver. Apt to be extremely sarcastic and cynical, moody, vengeful, violent when provoked, and impatient but a reliable friend (if you are lucky enough to befriend her and make it out alive). Also known as the DEMONESS (think Satan reincarnate in a chronic PMS-ing girl ::twitch::); be more afraid of her than Megami.
Yami translates into "darkness" so basically, Yami Me is the darker side of Megami, so to speak. And you'll see about Konton's Yami in later chapters...
Ch. 6 Suspicions and Settling In
"Okay, I was thrown from ANOTHER world when Megami and Yami Me landed on top of me. We didn't realize where we were until we felt the dark coldness of the dementors attacking Harry and Dudley---"
Lupin interrupted his tale. "Wait, we should probably make this an official Order meeting, as we have to divulge some Order info to Harry. That means all other kids should go upstairs!"
All the children had protests until Mrs. Weasley intervened. "He's right! ---Don't give me those looks! Fine! Ron and Hermione can stay as Harry will probably tell them everything later anyways!" Fred and George complained about being of age. "FINE! Fred and George can stay. Ginny! Go up to the bedroom until dinner!!!!"
Ginny went out rampaging, causing mayhem behind her in protest. Suddenly a terrible shriek could be heard all over the house.
"Ginny gets her temper from her mother," stated Mr. Weasley.
"FILTH! MUDBLOODS! HALF-BREEDS! FREAKS OF NATURE! HOW DARE YOU BEFOUL MY HONORABLE HOUSE---"
Lupin and Tonks immediately went to close the curtains of Mrs. Black, and eventually Sirius came rushing out to help.
"...And I thought my mom was a tyrant. No offense, Padfoot," commented Megami.
"None taken. Hiya Harry, been looking forward to seeing you again," he said while briefly hugging him. "So are you going to tell everyone how you got here or what?"
The occupants of the kitchen listened thoughtfully to the newcomer's tale. Everyone found out how they're from another world and that they had been thrown into theirs for some 'fateful' reason. Of course, the background information of these teens totally threw them off; they had these so-called 'Author' and 'Authoress' Powers? What the heck was that supposed to mean? Everyone stopped listening to think about the answer.
Konton noticed that no one was really paying attention anymore, just absentmindedly hearing the words. He nudged Megami, who was still trying to say things. She scowled.
"...And so Harry and Draco eloped and formed their own coven at Fort Barbie, where they had a ton of kids and worshipped a wasted corn stalk until the end of their days." She waited for the response.
It took a moment for everyone to register what she had said until they all fell out of their thoughts.
"WHAT!?" Harry had fallen out of his seat when he had realized exactly what she had implied.
Yami Me spoke up. "Well, you all weren't paying attention! God."
"You weren't listening to me!" whined Megami. She pouted.
"How do we know you're telling the truth, eh? What if you're spies for the Death Eaters?!" growled Mad-Eye Moody.
Konton glared right back at him. "Dumbledore trusts us; you'd think that'd be a good enough reason," he countered frostily.
Many people in the room nodded in agreement, including Tonks, Elphias Doge, Sturgis Podmore, Emmeline Vance, and Kingsley Shacklebolt.
"If Albus trusts them then I do," answered Lupin quietly.
Sirius vouched for them. "Yea, me too!"
Harry looked them over. "They saved me and my cousin from the dementors," he commented. "Only to beat Dudley up afterwards," he added, "So they can't be all that bad." The Weasley kids sniggered at the thought of his whale of a cousin being beat up by a girl half his size.
Mad-Eye's large magical eye scanned him over, trying to detect any reason to distrust them. As soon as the Megami realized what he was doing she screamed in protest and hid behind Lupin, who looked confused at her actions.
"NANI O SHIMASU KA!? HENTAI!!! [1] You don't need to strip scan our clothes for weapons! What is this, an airport!?" Megami glared from over Lupin's shoulder. Konton and Yami Me laughed.
Dedalus Diggle asked, "What'd she say before that?"
Konton managed to stop laughing to respond. "She said, 'What are you doing!? Pervert!' Kami-sama, that was rich..."
Moody scratched his chin. "It's a necessary precaution, lass. But I don't see any disguises or concealed weapons him... he passes my first screen test." Megami quickly removed the hidden emergency dagger from her sleeve (from their LOTR adventure) and slipped it into Konton's magical backpack unnoticed. [2]
Yami Me snorted. "Of course not... if we had weapon, do you think we'd really hide them under our clothes when we know about your magical eye and everything else about this world?" Megami suddenly had taken an interest in her boots, as she was looking towards the ground.
Mad-Eye Moody growled. "You can never be too careful! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" His roar made everyone jump slightly, except Yami Me. She countered his calculating gaze with an icy glare that would someday rival Snape's.
Konton interrupted the staring contest. "If you really want to know why we're staying here, it's because we have our own assignment from Professor Dumbledore."
Kingsley Shacklebolt snapped to attention. "Really? And what would that be?"
The three teens glanced at each other, subliminally debating if they should tell. Megami smiled and Yami Me gave a curt nod. Konton decided to divulge the mission onto their eager ears.
"Okay. You wanna know? Dumbledore's setting us up as 5th year Japanese transfer students at Hogwarts this term. We're going to be the Order's agents at school. Megami and I are going to try to be sorted into Gryffindor, so we can keep a close eye on Harry. Yami Me will be a likely candidate for Slytherin, so she can be our eyes and ears in there to get info on He-Whose-Name-Must-Be-Hyphenated and his Death Munchers." There was collective laughter at these nicknames. "Since we come from a world where everyone has read about you, we'll have a better idea on what to do than another witch or wizard. We'll be something like Junior Order members.... except we're not...." ended Konton.
Yami Me rolled her eyes at his remark. "Just think of us as volunteers able to give out information that we, ahem, 'pick up' around Hogwarts."
"It's what I have dubbed as 'Mission P.R.O.B.A.B.L.E.' It's an acronym for Potter Reconnaissance Oath By Authors, Being Liable Experts." "
Ron looked flabbergasted. "Excuse me, the what!? What does all that mean!?"
"Honestly Ron! It means they, the authors, promise to watch over Harry!" explained Hermione.
Megami grinned with feigned innocence. "Ain't it cool!? Besides, who's gonna suspect three students of potential Ministry sabotage?"
Harry thought this over. "That's bloody brilliant!" He caught the looks of the other adults. "Sorry! But it is."
Mad-Eye contradicted Harry's comment. "He's trusting three children we don't even know---"
"Excuse me! You do know us! Konton, Megami, and Yami Me!? Ring a bell? Besides, we promised to Dumbledore! We're not going to be breaking any oaths to him unless we have a death wish, ya know!" retorted Konton.
Tonks spoke up. "They're only kids, Mad-Eye, they're too young to be Death Eaters!"
All the students stood up for the Authors.
"They can't be evil because they saved Harry! They were able to fight off the dementors, weren't they?" reasoned Ron.
"They haven't left the house since they got here so they haven't told any dark wizards about headquarters!" Hermione persisted.
"Come ON! She beat up Dudley because he deserved it! That should count for something!" chorused the twins.
Moody had a headache already. "Fine! They can stay! But I'll be keeping an eye on you three...." with that he clunked his way into a seat.
"Oh, I'm shaking in fear," replied Yami Me sardonically. Moody growled in response.
Megami's stomach unwittingly interrupted an uprising argument by growling for itself. "Hehehe... sorry. Last thing I ate was a fruit parfait for breakfast."
Mrs. Weasley smiled. "Oh don't worry, dear! I'll start making dinner right away!" She busied herself in the kitchen while the others were shooed outside into the main room. Tonks had decided to help Molly Weasley in the kitchen.
"Great! I'm starved," added Ron.
In the meanwhile Harry was in deep discussion with Sirius and Remus, Ron and Hermione were talking, and the twins were secretly scheming with Mundungus Fletcher in a corner. Mr. Weasley went to retrieve the disgruntled Ginny. Apparently the other Aurors were discussing information about Voldemort's whereabouts and schemes. The three teens secluded themselves to a different section of the room.
Megami looked bored. "So now what do we do? Until dinner, I mean."
Konton thought. "Well, we can always play Duel Monsters..."
Megami groaned. "But I suck! And you'll have to play Yami Me, and she's better than both of us, as she's a Yami!"
Konton's face fell for a moment. He whipped out his card deck anyways. "Well time to get down and dirty, anyways. You accept, Yami Me?"
Yami Me smirked. "Of course. Are you ready to get your ass kicked?" She whipped out her dark-magic based deck.
Megami rolled her eyes. She wasn't too big on the actually playing game, so she dug through Konton's magical backpack and pulled out an MP3 player. Konton and Yami Me were busy dueling it out over the playing mat. Megami quickly listened to see if this would be interesting before turning on the MP3 player.
"I play this card in defense mode, as well as a magic card facedown; I dare you to attack me," stated Konton.
Yami Me smirked. "I'll play Dark Elf in attack mode, and bring down your facedown monster." It turns out Konton had lain down a Zombie Dragon, but his face-down card was a trap card, Negate Attack, which saved his monster.
Megami immediately grew bored and decided to sing along to her favorite Japanese tunes. Unfortunately she was in the mood to annoy everyone else so she fixed her voice to be high and shrilly, just to spite everyone. She was almost done listening to "Because of You," the only rock song sung by Ayumi Hamasaki.
"---Aenai jikan ni omoi ga tsunotta
todokanai koe ni kokoro ga itanda
kimi o shiranakatta koro ni
modorenaku natte iruuuuuu----
Doushite tokidoki sunao ni ienai
Doushite tokidoki yasashiku narenai
Doushite tokidoki kizutsuke atteru
Doushite tokidoki tashikame atteru
Doushite tokidokiiiiiiiiiii--- konnani kurushiiiiii----!
Doushite itsudemoooooo---- konnani itoshiiii---!!!!
Kimi ja nakya dame de!!!!
Kimi ja nakya dame de---" [3]
Yami Me ceased her shrilly, accented singing with a couch pillow. "Megami, either stop purposely singing like a banshee, or shut up." Then she went back to drawing cards for her hand. "I play a monster in defense mode. Try and get me, Chaos."
Megami inwardly smirked; her little annoying idea actually got to her own dark side. She was thinking of other ways to annoy everyone while listening to music at full blast. Megami looked around and saw the other Aurors had already left; an hour had passed, or was it the singing that drove them away? She was deaf to the world when she realized the twins were trying to say something to her. She removed her headphones. "What?"
"Is that what music from Japan sounds like?" asked Fred. Megami nodded slowly as if answering a very slow child.
"Wicked!" commented George. "Pity you were singing off key."
Megami scowled. "I was doing that on purpose just to spite all of ya'll. I can sing better... unless you want an encore of the bansheeness....?" She grinned.
Sirius looked at her in surprise. "That was your singing!? I thought my mother's portrait came undone again." Megami stuck her tongue out at him.
The twins were about to open their mouths in response to her request when Konton interrupted. "Please God, no more, Megami---"
Mrs. Weasley suddenly announced, "Dinner's ready! Fred, George, can you please set everything on the table?" Without a second warning, Fred and George apparated into the kitchen. Megami soon followed Harry, Sirius, and Mundungus to the table.
Konton spoke up, without looking up from his hand, "Do you think we should sit at the table, and/or warn Megami about the twins' sudden fetish for magic?"
Yami Me lay a card down. "Nah let her jog her own memory. I play Mystical Sand in attack mode and combine her with Invigoration and Rose Whip, which brings her attack points up to 3200. I'll attack your Flaming Swordsman, thus bringing down your life points to zero," she stated calmly.
Konton cursed under his breath and started to clean up. "I guess we should wait for the all clear to sit at the table. In three... two... one..."
"NO! FRED! GEORGE! JUST CARRY THEM!!!!" Mrs. Weasley screeched from the kitchen. Everyone at the table looked up towards the doorway.
"INCOMING!!!" Megami warned while doing some weird Matrix-like flip from her seat. Had she waited a second longer, the contents of a pitcher of butterbeer would have been on her. Sirius, Harry, and Mundungus had all dived from the table. The knife was still vibrating threateningly where Sirius' hand had been a minute before. "Kiisama, almost forgot about Fred and George's negligence concerning the use of excessive magic." Harry and Sirius laughed.
Fred and George looked hurt. "Hey, you make us sound so irresponsible..." Ron snorted in laughter.
"Nice move, by the way, Megami. How'd you do that?" asked Hermione.
Megami shrugged. "Training and practice, I guess. Being an army brat helps too. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if your darker half wasn't a psychopathic belligerent combat specialist." Yami Me gave a mock bow to the others as she and Konton went to join the others for dinner.
"Everything looks great, Molly," commented Lupin. Konton and Megami were practically drooling over themselves.
Dinner conversation ranged from the Author's world to school life at Hogwarts. All the kids, save polite Hermione and Ginny, were stuffing their faces full of food. Suddenly, Mrs. Weasley changed the direction of the conversation.
"Sirius, I think we should start cleaning the place up a bit, tomorrow. There's a terrible infestation of doxies behind the curtains and there's a nest of dead puffskeins under the couch. I also think there may be a couple boggarts around, as the desk drawer and trunk upstairs keep rattling."
Sirius half-shrugged. "We'll get to work on it tomorrow. But knowing my mother, it may be worse than a boggart; we should have Mad-Eye look at it first."
"I think there may also be a poltergeist disturbing the plumbing upstairs," she added.
"I look forward to it," he replied with some sarcasm.
Harry spoke up. "We'll all help, Mrs. Weasley; don't worry."
The three Authors had one thought crossing all their minds: Great, clean up duty tomorrow.
AN
[1] Nani o shimasu ka!? Hentai! – What are you doing!? Pervert!
[2] His backpack is pretty cool as it can contain an infinite quantity of junk, etc. and he used a charm that prevents X-Ray vision, like lead does.
[3] Because of You by Ayumi Hamasaki ] There is no way you can even accuse us of owning Ayumi Hamasaki or her songs; even if Megami loves her songs.
Translation: My love grew when we couldn't meet, My heart ached because my voice didn't reach you, I find I can't go back to the times, when I didn't know you. Why sometimes I can't say honestly? Why sometimes I can't be tender? Why sometimes do we hurt each other? Why sometimes we check each other? Why sometimes my heart aches so much! Why always my heart goes out to you!!!! I can't think of anyone but you, I can't think of anyone but you---
It must seem pathetic to blackmail for reviews, but please review!!!
Preview of next chapter: "The Horrors of Spring, um, Summer Cleaning"
Yami Me was busy helping Ron, Harry, and the twins tackling the Doxy infestation behind the curtains. Konton was helping Ginny, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus in the task of throwing away all sorts of junk.
In the meanwhile, Megami had wandered into an upstairs room while dusting everything. She was singing more Japanese songs to herself while working.
"Sotto mezameru... hakanai omoi zutto, donna toki demo negau yo... anata ni todoku you ni to..." she sang while doing the Swiffer dance. She finished cleaning the bookshelf when she spotted a dusty trunk along the side of the wall. Megami paused in thought, but let curiosity take hold of her. She slowly opened it when something came bursting out.
Megami backed off in surprise when she realized it must be one of the boggarts Mrs. Weasley suspected resided in the household. She closed her eyes in dread of discovering what her deepest fear was, until she realized she had to deal with it if she ever wanted to make it in Gryffindor. Breathing deeply, she slowly opened one eye and looked at her boggart's form in absolute horror. She opened her mouth into a terrifying scream while trying to defend herself with the feather duster.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Upon hearing her screams, Yami Me and Konton (Konton in the lead) dashed ahead of everyone else to the rescue. When they burst in, they saw quite possibly the most disturbing sight ever....
"What the hell...?"
Konton: finishes reading Niiiiceee....
Yami Me: Nice cliffhanger for blackmail, Hikari.
Megami: I surprise even myself sometimes! ;;;
Konton: Again, plz review!!! Or you won't find out what each of our boggarts [they're not exactly... normal fears...] are unless we get at least 20 reviews!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!