Author's note: Sorry again folks. Algebra 2 is kicking my ass. I won't take up any of your time. This ones for you Britt. Thanx for your reviews. To everyone else too. Much love.

I sat on one of the hospital benches waiting for the news. My nose was congested from crying and my eyes felt itchy and sore, from crying and rubbing them. I looked around at all the white around me. I heard telephones ringing and people talking. I heard people crying and the air of sickness was overwhelming.

How I wished that I could take a breath of fresh air outside. But no, what if the doctor came and he doesn't find me? No, I'll stay. I'm a big girl.

I'm a big girl? What the hell was I saying when my best friend was in the hospital? Donovan will pay for this. I swear it. God, please don't let her be dead. I'll do whatever but please don't let her be dead. Time seemed to crawl by as I sat there counting the hours before someone actually acknowledged my presence.

"Uh, Miss..." said a tall dark haired man that looked like he was about in his early thirties. He looked stressed out. His crisp blue suit looked the complete opposite of him.

"Yeah! What?" I looked at him. I was about to jump out of my chair to wait for his response.

"Um, are you the family of...", he read his clipboard. "Miss Elena Lluberes?"

"Ye-yeah. Is she ok? Tell me! Hurry up!"

He looked forlornly down to the floor and looked like he was about to cry. He was silent for a moment as if he was choosing his words carefully.

"Ms. Lluberes is deceased." I tried to make out the rest but my hearing was blocked out by the loud flat line that was ringing in my ears. I was a complete zombie and his words were a meaningless blur in the travel of sound.

".......tried several times to revive her.......would not respond......severe head trauma......even if she had lived........living vegetable........."

"Would you like to see her while her body is still warm?" I snapped out of my daze.

For some reason when I'm under severe stress my whole body just has a mind of it's own and my brain becomes numb. It's like my body has a plan "B". When my brain doesn't function, it turns on autopilot. I must have been walking because I was no longer staring at that same white wall. The doctor opened the door and I think I sat down. He removed the sheet from her and at the mere sight of her, I flipped out.

I began throwing crazed blows at him. "You could have saved her! If only you would have tried harder! If only you would've gotten up off your ass and performed some fuckin' kind of surgery, she wouldn't be dead right now! It's your fault! I hate you! I HATE YOU!!!!!"

Logically speaking, I knew it wasn't his fault. I knew he did all he could to save her. I knew all that. It's just...I couldn't help it. I didn't want to say it. It just came out. Sometimes I hate myself for my reactions to things.

He dodged my blows and called for security. As the big macho men dragged me away I saw the look on his face. It was a mixture of guilt, sadness, pity, and shame all rolled into one. He looked like a scared little boy after he had seen the Exorcist. I felt so evil. It broke my heart. But I didn't have the emotion to spare, so I blacked out.

When I woke up, Xander was sitting next to me. He had a worried look on his face, then happiness as he rubbed my head.

"Hey mami. You okay?" I looked around confused. What the hell was I doing here in a hospital?

"Duh. Why am I here?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"You mean you don't know?" A doctor had apparently been standing there the whole time. He wore a frown.

"Uh...noooo." I said the words slowly as if they were slow.

"What year is it?" Asked the doctor.

"Are you kidding?" I laughed. Why were they acting so weird?

"What year is it?" He repeated more precisely.

"Two-thousand and four. Shit, you geeks!"

The doctor asked me a few more obvious questions and replied to Xander who looked even more lost than I did.

"Apparently her brain has blocked the recent events due to extreme stress. It's her brains way of coping with it. She will recover, though the situation is temporary and her memory will soon return."