I looked at Haldir expectantly, "Yes, Marchwarden?" I kept my tone cool, but inside I was jumping up and down...what in the heck did he want to tell me?

He looked at me with a sort of guilt in his hard steely gray eyes, "Heather, I-I..." he was having a hard time saying it.

"You, you what?" I prodded, thinking, 'this better be good.'

His mouth was open and it looked like he was a fish out of water. Ah, what a sight to behold. Then I started thinking about fish, more particularly tuna fish, and became a little green around the gills, pardon the pun.

"I, ah, I have to tell you something," he finished lamely.

"Oh dear Lord, is this going to be an all day production?! I have things to do you know!" I said, irritated and starting to feel quite ill.

He rolled his eyes, "This isn't easy for me to say," he said.

'Oh gee whiz,' I thought, 'come on.' And then I kinda started to do the pee pee dance in anticipation.

"What, are you really a woman or something?" I was a little sarcastic, I have to admit; but come on, Mr. King of Cool was acting like a twenty-year-old geek on his first date ever.

He scowled hard at me, and I gave him a sarcastically fake smile.

Through clenched teeth, he replied, "No, that's not what I was going to say. If you are so intent on mocking me, then maybe I won't tell you anything."

"Ok, ok, ok," I relented, my hands up in surrender.

"Now, this really isn't easy for me to tell you--"

"But you have six minutes to live," I finished for him. I'm sorry I couldn't help myself. You should have seen the death look on his face.

He was really upset then, but I didn't care. I felt awful and I wanted everyone else to join in my misery. Know why? Because misery loves company. Man, I wished I had had some Tylenol or something. This whole flu like thing was driving me nuts, plus with all the water I was retaining, I think I made Anna Nicole Smith look like a Gucci runway model. It was kinda like that time of the month with the flu...I felt awful. And now it looked like Haldir felt awful. Good. Stupid man, men don't understand what it's like to be women! *sniff, choke*

Ok, ok I'm getting off subject again. Anyway, yeah he was totally angry. And by that time, all I wanted was ten pounds of chocolate, all 10 seasons of Friends, and to be laying on a nice bed in a dark room eating my chocolate and watching Friends with the occaisional sip of ginger ale.

"What...do...you...want?" I asked him, as I would ask a petulant five year old child.

But before he could reply, Rumil came running up, redfaced and excited.

"You two will never believe what just happened!" he gasped excitedly.

"Confound it Rumil, can you not see we are in the middle of something?" Haldir exploded at the same time I turned my attention to the other brother asking, "What's up Rumil?"

Rumil grinned at me, "This is good," he said

I sighed, what is with the Lorien brothers and taking a millennium to say anything?! What were they like Ents in Elf form? Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

I looked at him expectantly, and suddenly, by the Grace of God his story came out.

"The Prince of Mirkwood just beat down Orophin."

And I don't know why, but I started to bawl like a baby. Those two looked at me like I had just lost my mind. I crumpled down to my knees and just began sobbing my heart out. The two brothers exchanged glances and then knelt down on either side of me.

Haldir rubbed my back and Rumil didn't know what to say.

"Heather, it's all right, I assure you. Rumil and I beat down Orophin all the time," Haldir said gently.

And that made me cry harder. "I...don't...know....what's....*hiccup*.....wrong...with-meeeee." I ended in a dramatic sob.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you shouldn't beat up people, it's just not...wahhh!" I sobbed hard into Haldir's tunic (which I found out much later was his absolute favorite...something about how the color brought out his eyes or something...pansy).

Haldir and Rumil looked at me, sobbing my little heart out, and then to each other.

Then all of the sudden I burst out laughing, just like that. I was an emotional roller coaster. "Ha ha ha, Pansy!" I sobbed laughed out.

And that made them question my behaviour even more. Those two had the most puzzled looks on their faces I had ever seen and it made me laugh even harder.

And as soon as my emotional tirade had started it ended.

"So what?" I said miserably, wishing for Ross, Rachel and the gang and a huge box of Russel Stovers...what was wrong with me?