Author's Notes: Well, luckily it didn't take as long for me to revise this chapter as I was afraid it would, so yay! I'm really glad people are getting into this story (and think my jokes are funny! Whew, that's a relief. Drama comes a bit more easily to me than comedy. I love to write villains!). Btw, I'm anticipating about seven chapters (give or take) as far as length, just FYI. This is one of my shorter stories.

    In case you're wondering, yes, my cold is gone and the stress is off…until tomorrow that is, when school starts again. But I'm done with AP so it shouldn't be nearly as bad. Oh, and even with my cold I managed to get a superior (the highest rating) at the vocal solo contest. Pretty cool, huh? Now if I can just get in to the All-State Choir…(fingers crossed)

    As always thank you so much for taking the time to review! They really make my day. Just a couple of brief responses:

Akutenchi: Glad you like it! The story line was inspired by elements from some of my favorite romantic comedies like You've Got Mail and Sabrina, plus a tiny bit of Lois and Clark, and placed in a setting of my own creation. The idea started out a bit different, under the working title Prince Charming, but eventually evolved into this.

Anngel From Hell: Nope, in this story Kag doesn't know Sess is Inu's brother because they hate each other and have never really had a conversation about that kind of thing. You're right though that this is different from the Inuyasha canon.

Soul of Kagome: My story? To die for? Cool! I know what you mean about a bunch of fics ending recently. Dead Famous was my favorite and it's over now (sniff, sniff)!

Fallen-Snow: I updated MIA twice this week, plus this one! Aren't you proud of me?

    Okay, as much as I love to talk, I don't want to go overboard here so please, read and enjoy!

Alter Ego

Chapter 3: The Clark Complex

Inuyasha shoved through the door into the employees' room behind the bar and headed toward his locker to put away his coat.

"Hey there, good buddy," Miroku said from behind him in a cheerful voice which was carefully calculated to annoy the hanyou, and the dog-eared young man jumped in surprise, whirling to face him.

"Jesus, monk, what the hell did you sneak up on me like that for?!" Inuyasha snapped, scowling at the mocking grin the man was flashing at him.

He shrugged casually in response. "Just for fun. I'm easily amused."

"Well I'm not," the hanyou grumbled, turning back to his locker.

"So, how are things going with the lovely Miss Kagome? Have you made any progress?" Miroku prodded, eyes flashing mischievously as Inuyasha's head snapped to the door, making sure the woman in question wasn't within earshot.

He then turned a glare on Miroku. "What are you trying to do, give me away?"

"Relax, she's not even here yet. If I'm not mistaken you two have been together for about a week, haven't you?" he taunted. "Time's running out..."

Inuyasha growled in frustration at his friend's smug expression. "Hey, I've got everything under control, okay? She's putty in my hands; don't you worry your pretty little head about it. I'll have that woman in the sack by the end of the week, so you better start trying to figure out how to get your hands on two-hundred bucks."

"Whatever you say, Inuyasha," Miroku replied patronizingly.

* * *

Kagome was humming some song she couldn't quite remember the name of as she rounded the end of the bar, headed for the locker room. All of a sudden she stopped short, catching the sound of conversation from within.

"Time's running out..." said a voice she recognized as Miroku's.

She frowned slightly, moving closer in order to hear better. She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping, but her curiosity overrode her conscience in this case when Inuyasha growled irritably, speaking next.

"Hey, I've got everything under control, okay? She's putty in my hands; don't you worry your pretty little head about it. I'll have that woman in the sack by the end of the week, so you better start trying to figure out how to get your hands on two-hundred bucks."

Kagome's face contorted in increasing disgust as Inuyasha spoke. Of all the revolting, despicable, appalling things! she thought. They actually bet money on whether or not he can get some poor sap to sleep with him?! What jackasses!

"Whatever you say, Inuyasha," came Miroku's voice, followed by footsteps approaching the door. Not wanting to be caught listening in on their conversation, Kagome quickly and quietly tiptoed back toward the door, contriving to look as though she had just arrived.

"Hey there, Kagome," Miroku greeted her with a casual smile as he appeared from the back room.

Kagome responded with a somewhat strained smile and a somewhat cold, "Hi."

He eyed her curiously. "Something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, I just have a bit of a headache I guess. Nothing serious."

"Okay," he replied, not entirely convinced, but left it at that.

A moment later Inuyasha emerged from the back room, eyes widening slightly when he caught sight of Kagome brushing past him to put her things away, though she took no notice of him, it seemed. He quickly got a hold of himself and returning to his usual expression. When she returned to the main room of the bar he got the distinct impression that she was ignoring him on purpose, as though she were angry with him. Could she have overheard them? But surely she would do more than simply ignore him if she knew...

Unbeknownst to either of them as they proceeded to prepare the club for opening, they were both being watched by Miroku -- especially Inuyasha. The man smirked mischievously to himself at the unconscious look of guilt that played across the hanyou's face from time to time, whenever he glanced in the direction of the ebony-haired waitress. He suspected that even Inuyasha had no idea how much she was getting to him.

Ah, even if I lose this bet it will have been worth it just to see what happens!

* * *

Kagome inspected herself in the mirror once more, patting at her hair, which was swept up behind her head, and smoothing the simple, black, sleeveless dress she had chosen, before leaving the bedroom to answer the door. A smile lit her face when she revealed the handsome, dark-haired young man outside in the hallway, dressed in a stylish black suit and grey-blue shirt, tieless, with the top two buttons undone.

"Man you're a sight for sore eyes," she said before giving him a light 'hello' kiss and grabbing her coat and purse.

"Ready to go?" he asked with a smile.

"Yup," she nodded, taking his proffered arm and closing the door behind her as they moved out into the hallway and down the steps.

"So," he began as he held the outside door open for her to exit onto the sidewalk. Funny how he was sort of getting used to these little courtesies now. He didn't even have to think about it anymore. "How was your day?"

"Ugh, I don't even want to talk about it," she groaned, slipping her hand into his and falling in step beside him. "Men are pigs; present company excluded of course," she added with a playful grin, which he returned. But inwardly he was beginning to get a feeling of foreboding knotting in his stomach.

"What makes you say that?" he asked, careful to keep his voice casual.

She sighed. "Well, I know I shouldn't have been eavesdropping, but I overheard these two guys I work with talking about something today that really pissed me off."

His insides froze, but he reasoned with himself that if she actually knew he'd probably be in a great deal of pain at this moment. She damn sure wouldn't be letting him take her out to dinner at least.

"I mean one of them is a womanizing pervert, I knew that already, and the other is basically the scum of the earth, but even I never thought they could sink so low."

His jaw clenched for an instant, a burst of indignation flashing through him at her referral to him as "the scum of the earth," but he suppressed his temper in favor of pursuing the more important matter. "What did they say?" he inquired, contriving to sound merely curious, as opposed to panicked.

"Would you believe I heard them talking about betting money on whether or not the second guy could trick some poor woman into sleeping with him?" she said, appalled.

He managed to act surprised and even work a hint of disgust into his own voice. "You're kidding. Really?"

She gave a short laugh. "I wish I were. God help any woman who would have a bad enough self image to sleep with Inuyasha," she spat. Ouch... he thought moodily. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. "Guess some women aren't as lucky as I am," she said, nudging against him fondly, slipping an arm around his waist to lean against him.

"Yeah," was all he could say as he encircled her waist as well, his mid swimming with conflicting thoughts. On the one hand he resented her rants about 'Inuyasha,' but another part of him was inclined to simply enjoy being near her like this. Yet another part warned him that everything she had said was probably justified -- that was the part he wanted to ignore for the time being. But her words echoed in his mind. 'God help any woman who would have a low enough self image to sleep with Inuyasha.'

Oh holy fuck... he thought, frustrated.

* * *

A slap echoed throughout the empty club.

"Houshi-sama, if you grab me again with that hand of yours you're going to lose it!" Sango fumed. Miroku only grinned innocently at the fire in her eyes, massaging his abused cheek.

"Come now, Sango. No need to get upset," he said, obviously enjoying himself, which only served to infuriate her further.

"You jackass! Why can't you just grow up and stop being such a pervert! What, you think it's cute?! You think women like it when you treat them like objects to be petted and played with at your leisure? Fuck you, Miroku!" she yelled, slamming the tray she'd been holding down on the counter and storming away toward the side door, which led into the alley.

The man could do nothing but stare after her, taken aback. As long as he'd known her they'd played this little game of theirs -- he groped her, she slapped him, everyone was happy. But never in all that time had he seen her get so upset over it. It confused him, to say the least. Suddenly it didn't seem like a game anymore.

"What just happened?" he mused quietly, glancing around with a puzzled expression furrowing his brow. "Did I miss something?"

* * *

Meanwhile, out in the dimly-lit alley, Sango paced back and forth, blinking back the tears of frustration that threatened to overwhelm her. Her breath came in sharp, uneven gasps, a lump forming in her throat. She looked around helplessly, not sure what to do with herself now that she was here. She felt...trapped. There was no way she could go back inside and face him after that, yet she couldn't just leave either. She didn't even have enough money for cab fare in her pockets, and besides, she had a job to do.

"Damn you, Miroku," the woman muttered weakly, and frustration welled up inside her again, causing her to swing a kick at a nearby trash can. "Damn you!"

She listened to the clatter of metal against concrete as the trash barrel toppled over, rolling across the narrow alley to crash against the wall opposite and bounce back toward her. That was when the tears came. It was always like that with him -- always. Everything she said and did only came bouncing back at her, not making the slightest dent. He was so oblivious to the way his actions tore her up inside, so tauntingly aloof. No matter how many times she tried to make him understand, he remained completely and utterly clueless.

She sniffed a bit, her tears subsiding, and heaved a sigh, shaking her head. "This is ridiculous," she muttered in a voice that wobbled only slightly, wiping her eyes. "I've got to pull my self together and get over this. He's never going to change." She let out a short, wry laugh when a thought occurred to her. "Maybe I should have him fired for sexual harassment."

But even as she thought it she knew she wouldn't do it. It would be better all around if she were the one to leave. That was it; she'd quit her job. It's not like waitressing in some club was her lifelong dream anyway. Perhaps this was just what the doctor ordered to jump-start her career. She could go back to writing free-lance, give journalism another try.

Then it was settled. She would give Kikyo her notice right away.

"Sango..."

She jumped, whirling around at the sound of Miroku's voice, which was uncharacteristically contrite. She hadn't even heard him approach. But the look in his eyes, one of confusion and apology, made every other thought fly from her head.

"Sango," he began again, at a loss as to what to say. "I...I wanted to apologize, I guess. Apparently I upset you, but what I don't understand is how."

She eyed him incredulously. "You really have no idea, do you," the woman mused, a soft, self-deprecating laugh escaping her. "Well I guess that pretty much clinches it, doesn't it. Don't worry about it, Miroku. I'm leaving." And with that she brushed past him back through the doorway to go find Kikyo.

But he wasn't about to let her go so easily. "Leaving?" he questioned, trailing after her. "What do you mean, 'leaving'?"

She stopped, turning back to face him, frustration creeping into her voice once more. "Just what I said, dumbass, I'm leaving. As in 'quitting my job and moving away.' Is that clear enough for you?" She tried to continue on her way, but Miroku caught her by the arm, forcing her to face him.

"You're what?" he demanded, a note of urgency in his tone. "Because of me? Jesus, Sango, why didn't you say something?! I had no idea-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa -- why didn't I say something?!" she interjected. "What do you think 'get your hands off me, pervert' means?! I've tried and tried to get you to realize...but you and your damn groping and...and flirting, and...I mean you just never listened!"

He released her arm putting a hand to his forehead in thought. When he spoke again his voice was thick with remorse. "God, I'm so sorry, Sango. I...I guess I just thought of it as a game, y'know?"

She swallowed heavily. "I know. That's the worst part. It was a game for you, but..." Looking away, she couldn't bring herself to complete that thought. Instead she walked over to the bar and leaned against it, not sure what to do next.

Miroku on the other hand found himself staring at her once again, finally beginning to comprehend the extent of the situation. No way...is she...I mean, does she... He swallowed, trying to work up the courage to ask the next question.

"Sango, do...do you...have f-feelings for me?" he questioned quietly, his voice a bit high-pitched and unsteady, and he could see her stiffen.

What am I supposed to say? she thought desperately, eyes darting to and fro as though searching for an answer. She wanted to deny it, to just get away from there, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"I...I don't know," she finally replied softly, and before Miroku had a chance to respond the main door opened with a loud squeaking sound to reveal a certain silver-haired hanyou.

"Hey guys," Inuyasha greeted them, oblivious to the scene he had just interrupted.

"Hi Inuyasha," Sango responded with a somewhat sad smile, which the hanyou missed, not looking at Miroku as she straightened her apron and set of to continue with her work again.

"Sango-" Miroku began quietly, but she interrupted him, turning back.

"I don't have time for this right now, okay? We both have work to do," she said simply before continuing on her way, leaving a somewhat shell-shocked Miroku behind her.

He watched her walk away, lost in his very confused thoughts, but was snapped out of it by Inuyasha's irritable voice calling, "Oi, monk, quit gaping like an idiot and get over here, will ya?"

Shaking his head to clear it, he did as Inuyasha bade, moving back behind the bar to start checking the bottles to see which things they needed more of.

But as he worked he couldn't help the fact that his gaze would often drift to the brown-haired woman as she cleaned tables around the room. And for once it wasn't her gorgeous body that drew his attention.

* * *

"Two kamikaze's," Kagome said coldly, setting her tray on the counter before Inuyasha and looking away.

He gave a low growl of frustration. She'd been giving him the cold shoulder all evening and it was beginning to get on his nerves. Finally he couldn't hold back any longer, bursting out, "What's your problem, wench?!" But even as he said it he already had a pretty good idea what the answer was.

"You're my problem, you pig-headed jackass!" she ground out, shooting him a glare. "You think you can just-" she cut herself off before she revealed something she shouldn't have heard, crossing her arms and ending in a huff of dismissal. "Nevermind."

"No, no, I'm interested," he drawled sarcastically, with a wave of the hand, "Please, educate the lowly pig-head."

Her eyes narrowed, boring into him. If looks could kill, he'd be one very dead doggie by now. "Thank god not all men are like you. Ryoga's sweet and kind. He would never-"

He interrupted her with a laugh, "Feh. Never what? Be as rude or as stupid as me I suppose? You've got a lot to learn, bitch, if you think any man's a saint. Even your precious Ryoga."

"You have no idea what you're talking about, you son of a bitch. He doesn't have a mean or inconsiderate bone in his body. And I'll thank you to keep your goddamn nose out of my love life!"

"Love life?! I'd bet good money that he hasn't even kissed you yet -- I mean really kissed you -- and you say you have a love life?"

"Not all adult relationships revolve around sex, you know, as if any of this is your business, anyway! Ryoga and I have something special even though we've only been together for a short time," she snapped, "And if I chose to sleep with him it would be because I trusted him to realize that there was more to it than just sex, trusted him to respect me afterward. Can anyone say that about you, Inuyasha? You couldn't even begin to understand someone like him, you slime."

"Oh, so what, are you in love with him then?!" he countered, forgetting, for the moment, to whom he was referring. "You gonna run off and marry him?!"

"I just might!!" she yelled, grabbing the tray of drinks and storming off, completely oblivious to the utterly shocked hanyou she left behind, whose amber eyes were wide as saucers. The people nearby who had paused their conversations to watch the couple's argument gradually took them up again, seeing that the scene was over.

Slowly Inuyasha turned and headed on up the bar toward the door to the back room.

"Hey bartender, could I-"

"On break," he cut the man off absently, not looking at him as he pushed through into the empty locker room.

That was the weirdest conversation I ever had, he thought. She's...she's falling in love with him? Me? But...I'm not Ryoga; he's not even real. She despises the real me...and she's falling for him...

Christ, this is complicated...

Somewhere in the back of his mind he began to register the gnawing feeling in his gut as jealousy. But how could he be jealous of someone who didn't exist? It was like being jealous of his own shadow. For fuck's sake, how could he be jealous on account of Kagome in the first place?!

"I hate her...right?" he murmured, not sure what to think anymore.

His thoughts were interrupted, however, when Miroku entered the room, looking somewhat bad-tempered. "Hey Inuyasha, what do you think you're doing? I can't handle the whole damn bar all by myself. Get back out here!"

The hanyou glanced back, then went to get his jacket from the locker saying, "I don't feel good Miroku. I've got to go home and get some rest, okay? See you tomorrow."

But the other man caught him as he headed for the door. "Hey, you can't just leave me here. What am I supposed to do about all those customers, huh?"

"I don't know," Inuyasha replied impatiently, shrugging him off, "Get that Hojo kid to help you out, what do I care. You'll figure something out." And before Miroku had a chance to protest further he was out the door, wading his way through the pulsing crowds for the nearest exit out into the back alley.

Once outside he heaved a sigh of relief for the relative peace and quiet, leaning back against the cool outer wall of the building and closing his eyes. What the hell have I gotten myself into? he thought. It's like I'm schizophrenic or something. I mean, when I'm with her as 'Ryoga' she's all nice and sweet, but as soon as 'Inuyasha' shows up, it's back to bitch.

He opened his eyes again, staring bitterly into space. Well I'll give her something to bitch about. See how she feels when her precious Ryoga turns out to be the pig-headed jackass. We're in the home stretch now...

Yet somehow that thought didn't bring him as much comfort as he thought it would.

* * *

A/N: Let me know what you think, please! I love to hear from all of you. Oh, and if you don't get the chapter title and are curious, tell me so and I'll explain it either in the next chapter's author's notes or else I'll email you.

    Bye dah-lings! Kiss kiss!