Okay then. Looking at my first four reviews, 1/4 liked the fic, 2/4 absolutely hated it, and 1/4 seemed to dislike it. Of course, because they reviewed, I feel obligated to write another chapter, no matter how much it was unliked. First of all, one said that Harry would never want to hold snape's hand and they absolutely hate eachother. Yes. I know that. That's why he picked Snape... so that the experience would be unpleasant. Also, some may find this all to be a bit controversial with abstinance and religion. Okay, to start off... this if a fic! For God's (or whatever deity you believe in seeing as he is controversial now) sake, how can you take this seriously? Anyway, because Catholicism strictly believes that witchcraft is an empowerment of the devil, and Harry Potter is based on witchcraft, according to the church the whole book is based on the practices of evil, technically. Also, because it is "supposedly" evil, and sex before marriage is considered bad and so on, it would make perfect sense for the witchcraft kids to be doing stuff before hand. Of course, I really had no intent of making this fic some big damn philosophical matter of what is right and wrong, and discussing moral issues and the like. I merely felt like putting out something a bit different from what I have been reading on ff.net, because a good amount of it runs on the same lines. If this is not to your liking, then don't bother reading it. For the 1/4 who liked it, yay. Enough of all this though. I'd rather get on to the fic itself.
Ways to get your hand held
Rule 2: Talk to them
The next day started out much differently than usual. Due to the amount of fat kids that had been recently leaking into the system, the board of directors had come to the conclusion of making all of the meals of the year low calorie, in hopes of thinning the population of Hogwarts. Harry looked at his mashed celery root in disgust as Ron forced down part of his puke green vegetable smoothie. To think they would have to eat this stuff for a whole year was torture, but it was comforting to be able to look at Crabbe and Goyle choking on their no sugar, reduced wheat zuccini muffins.
"How long do you think before they commit suicide?" Ron asked as he grinned from witnessing the wonderous display.
Harry pondered this for a moment. "I'd give them about two days."
It was around that time, when much of the chatter had died down, and had been replaced with gagging noises that Dumbledore stood up to give his yearly speech, which he hadn't remembered to do the night before.
"As you might know, we've been having an obesity problem that has finally arisen to our attention, so we have supplemented all of your food with much more organic compounds that will hopefully thin you down."
One of the third years in Ravenclaw spoke up. "What about the new first years? Weren't they supposed to be sent to their tables yesterday?"
"First years?" Ah yes, that's right. Dumbledore had forgotten all about the first year students that were probably still waiting at the train station, or what was left of them. There had been a pretty awful thunder storm the night before, and there had also been a report that the train had been struck by lighting in the very early hours of the morning. Some of the students mourned the possible loss of their younger siblings while others rejoiced over the same thought. Of course, none of this had any effect on Harry or his friends, so what did it matter?
Dumbledore, deciding that the safety of the first years was unimportant (or possibly because he had already forgotten the subject of the matter), continued his speech. "Yes, well, as you all know that there... er... tree covered thing-"
"You mean the Forbidden Forest?" Professor McGonagal pitched in.
"Yes! The Forbidden Forest. The forest is forbidden, thus named the forbidden forest because it is forbidden, the forbidden forest, forest... forbidden..." It seemed that age all together hadn't been too kind to the headmaster, and already he was stuck in a single sentence. Luckily, he still had some of his wits about him, and continued on to another topic. "Third years and up may go to Hogsmead as long as they have permission from their parent or guardian, and why the hell are all these children here?"
The baffled man was escorted back to his seat by Professor McGonagal, who seemed to be suffering a bit of a hangover from the night before, and looked not too pleasant.
Once breakfast was finished, the students started off for all of their classes. Harry and Ron seemed to have Defense Against the Dark Arts first thing that morning, whereas Hermione was off to one of the history classes. It was a little while after they had parted ways that Ron nudged Harry.
"There he is. Right there. Snape."
Harry looked over in dismay. He had said "tomorrow" yesterday, and it seemed that tomorrow had unfortunately arrived. And so, with a heavy heart, he headed towards to ever grumpy Professor Snape, not really sure what his tactic was.
"Hey there, Professor," Harry forced a smile, "My, look at that grass. Must've gotten into some of the breakfast too, cuz it's looking mighty green. Har, har, har...." His fake laughter died as he realized his pathetic attempt at a joke had no effect what so ever.
Snape looked at Harry with unfathomable loathing. "I would suggest you get to class, Mr. Potter. That is, unless you would like a double detention instead of the one you already have."
This would have been the most perfect oppertunity to get away from that horrid man, but as long as Wap Wap was in danger, Harry knew he would have to be more persistant.
"You know, that shade of black looks really nice on you. What shade of black is it?"
"You have yet again proved that your stupidity knows no bounds. There is only one shade of black... Black. Anything else would be a very dark grey." The professor wasn't sure if it was worth explaining, seeing as how practically none of his lectures ever seemed to penetrate the boys ever thick skull.
Harry, though, thinking that he had made progress in the matter, decided that this would be the perfect oppertunity to keep up a conversation. "Oh wow! You sure do know your colours! I like colours, you know. They are what make a person colourful. Like red makes a person look red if they're wearing red, unless they're wearing blue with it, because then they look like red AND blue."
Well, this had to be good was what Harry thought, seeing as how he had gotten a whole new expression on Snape's face. Little did he know, that it was a look of shear horror that any single person could lack so many brain cells.
"P-Potter," Snape said while trying to regain his composure, "Just go to class. Now."
"Okie dokie!" Harry said with a smile and was off. He found Ron waiting for him down the hall.
"So, how'd it go?" Ron asked, waiting for the worst.
"I think it's a so far, so good type of deal," Harry replied, relieved that he had come out of it okay.
Ron was amazed by this news, because he was sure that anyone not in Slytherin who would attempt a conversation with Snape was sure to have his head bitten off in a dasterdly manner. "So, er, what'd you guys talk about."
"He seems to like to talk about colours," Harry said matter of factly. This was even more of a shock to Ron, who would have never imagined the grouchy man being interested in such a subject. Perhaps there was more to him than everyone thought. Ron began to wonder, as he grabbed some broad's ass on the way to the classroom, how such things couldn't be evident in a person's mannerisms.
On entering Defense Against the Dark Arts, McGonagal stoood, waiting for everyone to take their seat. Once they had done so, she began to take role. After some way down the list she got to the M's.
"Malfoy?" Silence. "Draco Malfoy?"
"Oh, sorry ma'am, " Draco said as he and one of the Slytherin girls came out from under one of the tables. "Duty called."
"Ah yes," she said with understanding, "I understand how that must be. I'll be still wanting to 'talk' to you about it after class." Many suggestive faces were passed from one to the other, and then she finished the role call.
"Excuse me, Professor," Lavender raised her hand, " Why isn't our teacher here for our first day?"
"He had some special business to attend to," she replied, "So I will be your substitute until he returns. Now if you all turn your books to page 12, we will begin with-"
It was right then when Professor Snape walked into the classroom.
"Oh yes," McGonagal acknowledged his presence, "Professor Snape will be assisting in the procedures for today."
Harry gulped. He had been hoping to have a little down time before he would have to make another attempt, but perhaps this was for the best. Better to get it over with as soon as possible than to stall the inevitable, right?
The chapter be complete, and I'm thinking I actually will continue with this fic, despite what people think. After all, we all need diversity (- lame excuse). Yes, so review if you want me to continue, but if you really want me to stop, you might as well tell me so I can know if it's really worth venturing on.