You would think that after our intimate conversation that day at lunch, something would have happened between us. You would think we would have wanted to take it a step further, maybe do something about this THING that seemed to exist between us. But, it didn't happen. Things got really busy at work, and there just wasn't time. I barely even had time to think about him because of all that was involved with the cases lately.
But trust me, I did think about him. Sometimes, when we were working a case together or grabbing a bite to eat on the way back from a crime scene, I'd look over at him and I'd know. I knew he was thinking about me, too, and I ached for him to just say something about it, anything at all. I caught him looking at me wistfully from time to time, but nothing came out of it. This lasted longer than I cared to think.
One day after a particularly long shift, I was sitting at the computer doing some internet research. Grissom materialized out of seemingly nowhere and sat down next to me.
"Damn, Gris! You scared the crap out of me!"
"Yeah, I tend to do that a lot if you haven't noticed."
I gave him a little grin and continued my work on the computer. A few months ago, the intense look he was giving me would have sent my heart screaming into oblivion. But he couldn't do that to me anymore. I learned from my mistakes. Well, maybe.
"I want to talk to you, Sara."
"Go for it." I said.
He sighed, and then looked around the office, like he was dreading what he was going to say next. All of a sudden, I was dreading it too.
"I've noticed something lately, and I could be wrong. I usually am wrong about human relationships, we all know that. But there is something between you and Warrick that I've been seeing, and it's bothering me. It seems like you guys have lost that spark that used to happen when the two of you were in a room together. I'm not talking just romantically, but just with your friendship. You used to have a rapport, and I would enjoy that. But it isn't there anymore. I hate to think that any of my CSI's are having a problem, so that's why I'm talking to you about it. I mean, is it affecting your work or what?
I stared at him. What was this all about? He had never expressed concern about our relationships before, I thought bitterly.
"No, Gil, it hasn't. We are both professionals. We just.. I don't know. I don't know what to say, really."
He sighed again, and looked down at his shoes.
"Sara... okay, look. That wasn't really true. The real reason I've even noticed is really quite simple. Um, well, I noticed a change because.. you look at Warrick like you used to look at me. Okay? Don't look so shocked. I know you, Sara. I know all about you. I can read you like a book, and I know you have feelings for him. And I have to tell you something... don't lose him. I know how it feels to lose someone because I was so stubborn. I know how it feels to lose someone because I had too many reasons not to go for it. Don't let this situation end up like ours. Talk to him. Figure it out."
I was speechless. I could not comprehend this little speech Gil Grissom was giving me.
"What are you saying, Gil? I just.. I don't understand."
"You understand. I know you do. I want to be with you, I do. But you know me.. this isn't just a job for me. It's not a career. It's my way of life, and if I let anyone get in the way of it, even you, I wouldn't know how to handle it. Sara, you aren't like me. TELL HIM. Tell him how you feel, or you'll lose him like I lost you."I didn't say anything. It was just too much. I knew if I opened my mouth I would cry. I knew it.
"You don't have to say anything to me, Sara. Just know that I wanted it to work out. I wanted the way you look at Warrick now to be the way you looked at me, forever. But it didn't work out, but you have a second chance."
Grissom stood up, giving me a look of silent desperation that sent shivers running down my spine. He left, and I knew we would never talk about it again. It was obviously freeing in a way... it made the little piece of my heart that still pines for him break in two, and finally disolve. I cried myself to sleep that night.
I rolled in the next day and went through the usual motions of working, but my heart wasn't in it and I didn't feel I was doing the case justice. When we had a break, I found Warrick in the lab, looking at some evidence Greg just printed out.
"Warrick, I need to talk to you. Can we have lunch later?"
He nodded. I didn't know if he had any idea what I was going to say."Good. I'm looking forward to it."More to come! Thanks for the reviews.. please do tell me what you think about it.