First, the warning. Next chapter may offend those who are very easily offended by innuendo.
Now, the explanation for Jack's behavior, since he is acting kind of flirty and I did say this story wasn't going to be slash: As kandra mentioned in a review, what's tough about this fic is that it's Jack who's in control of Norrington's situation and not vice versa. Norrington was born to be in control, and I'm sure it's hard for him to have to depend on the will of an outlaw. So hard, in fact, that his behavior is difficult to predict, which makes it difficult to keep him in character. But I'm trying.
I think Jack is very good at making people uncomfortable and I think he does it on purpose to keep them off-balance. Like his goofy mannerisms, his "flirting" (for lack of a better word) is a distraction that makes it impossible for other people to focus 100% on the situation at hand, giving Jack a clear strategical advantage. Think back to the end of the movie, where he runs around making comments about rooting for Norrington and a very special place grammatically. That had a purpose - if he had just rushed for the edge to jump over without creating some kind of disturbance first, they might have thought to stop him. For the same reason, I think in my story Jack would go out of his way to be as outrageous, unpredictable, and indecorous as possible, as a constant reminder to Norrington who's in charge and who is in waaay over his head. As a soldier Norrington is probably prepared to withstand threats, bribery, or torture...but how could he have planned to defend himself against flirting? And how is a prisoner supposed to hatch any anti-Jack plots while he's got so many other things on his mind (like being butt naked in front of everybody)? Confused and embarrassed people are much easier to manipulate, as I'm sure Jack knows.
Enjoy.
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The only people on deck were Jack and Ana Maria, who stood together watching the sun set. "This place is like a ghost ship," Norrington observed. "Where is everyone?"
The pirates exchanged glances. "Yes, Captain Sparrow, that's a good question." Ana Maria cocked her head with fake innocence. "Where are they?"
"It's an attitude like that that makes women unwelcome on board," Jack answered, then turned to Norrington to explain. "We've been at sea a good long while, mate, and it's quiet out, nothing to do... so they're all below deck playing hoist-the-colours." He sounded almost apologetic.
Norrington's brow furrowed. "Hoist the colours?" he asked, glancing up at the mast. How the devil did one hoist the flag from below deck?
Jack tried again. "It's a contest," he said more quietly. "You know, to see who can fire the cannon first...?"
"Fire the cannon?" Now even more thoroughly confused, Norrington gave up staring at the mast for answers. "At what? There's nothing to fire at."
"Oh, come on," Jack sighed in exasperation. "Do I have to demonstrate?" He broke eye contact and shifted his gaze quite deliberately to rest below Norrington's beltline.
The Commodore's first thought, illogical as it was, was that there was a spot on his clothes. He looked down at the pirate rags he was wearing, then back at Jack, and then down again, until he finally registered exactly what the pirate was staring at.
And then he knew what the men were off doing.
He stood absolutely still and closed his eyes and said a prayer. Ineffective. He tried to mentally recite some poetry, arithmetic tables, anything to distract him from the horrific idea that they... Gibbs...that tongueless man... (his parrot?)...
Do something! his brain screamed. Say something, do something, anything, anything...
"Above that sort of thing yourself, Sparrow?" he asked haughtily. Not much better, but it was the first thing he'd thought of and it would have to do.
Jack laughed but Ana Maria was quick to silence him.
"Ahem. If you make even one joke about ports or harbors, you can bloody well sleep in the crow's nest because you are not sharing the cabin with me." She turned and headed for their room.
"If that's not an invitation, I don't know what is," Jack muttered. "Can't pass that up, mate. Ta." He followed her, leaving Norrington alone on deck.
As a sailor, Norrington couldn't stomach the sight of a ship totally unmanned. "I'll take the watch, then," he said aloud, speaking resignedly into thin air. He glanced up at the wheel and sighed. "We could be sailing to bloody Africa for all anybody on this ship knows or cares," he muttered irritably, and climbed the stairs.
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"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Ana Maria hissed as soon as they were alone.
Jack had already glued his face to the tiny crack between the door and its frame, trying to see what was happening outside. "I'm sure it'll work. That was the hard part - getting him calm and alone on deck. He believed me, so he won't be coming in here or going below anytime soon. We've got him trapped. The rest is easy."
"Oh, yes," she agreed sarcastically. "Now all we have to do is sit back and wait for him to spontaneously turn pirate. That's very easy."
"Ana Maria. My darling. Light of my life, wind in my sails. Even as we speak he is climbing the stairs," Jack whispered over his shoulder. "He won't be able to resist standing at the wheel just for a moment. No man could. And once he does, you mark my words, he'll fall in love with this ship. If he hasn't already. Just trust me."
She sighed. "I do," she admitted. "I must be a fool."
Jack turned to smile at her but didn't argue. "Well, there's nothing more we can do, is there?" she asked. "It's all up to him now."
"No," Jack corrected, "It's all up to the Pearl." And then he shrugged and pulled his shirt over his head and then they didn't talk anymore.
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TBC.
And I hope that wasn't too much for your little virgin eardrums (which should, due to the rating, be 13-year-old eardrums anyhow).
And see? There will not be slash in this story. I am a firm (temporary but firm) Jack/Ana Maria shipper, so for this story at least, she is the only person with whom he will be hooking up.
Leave me a review. What do you like so far? What do you think should happen? Come on, come on - I'm all ears.