I feel asleep after Warrick left, preferring not to think about how I just massively screwed up probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Since I was so drunk, I feel asleep rather quickly. I was grateful for that.
Work the next day was, as one would imagine, painful in every way. I was happy about the promotion and did everything I was supposed to do, paperwork and the like, with that. But I had a splitting hangover, and what was worse, I had no idea what to do about Warrick. Should I leave him alone for a while or should I go after him and make him talk to me?
It turned out that the decision was pretty much made for me. I didn't see Warrick all day and finally I asked Grissom where the hell he was.
"You don't know?" He said, looking at me through his glasses.
"I don't, Gris. Don't ask."
"He didn't come in today. Said he had some family issues to attend to. I was going to ask you what was going on."
I sighed, feeling my heart crumble inside my body. He couldn't even come to work to face me? That was so unprofessional, especially as a CSI. I knew he was pissed if he couldn't even do his job.
"We... got in a fight."
"About the promotion?" He said knowingly."Yeah," I mumbled.
He nodded.
"I expected that, Sara. It's hard when you're in a relationship with someone at work. You guys should have known that from the beginning."
Suddenly, I was just pissed off. It had been a long day, Warrick was mad at me, and I was getting frustrated with this fatherly act Grissom was trying to pull off.
"Whatever, Grissom. Who are you to be giving relationship advice to anyone, especially me? I think you are quite possibly the LAST person I'd go to for that. What do you know-"
I stopped talking when I realized the look he was giving me was not a look that an employee wanted from her boss."Sara, I'm sorry to say this, but with your promotion.. you really shouldn't be having such big explosions at work. Sometimes you have to contain your anger. I realize that you have big ambitions for yourself, and if you keep having outbursts like that, nobody is going to want you around their office. It's low for morale."
"But-"
"No, listen. I'm sorry that you and Warrick had a fight, but you can't take it out on everyone around you. Keep the personal issues personal, Sara. Consider that some good advice from me to you."I wanted to fire back at him, to use my arsenal to hurt him. I knew what I could have said. Grissom was really a very sensitive person when you get right down to it, and I knew for sure that I could really wound him. But, I didn't. Fuming, I walked out of his office. I continued working on my case for the night, and when I was done, I just left. I didn't go marching right back into his office to tell him what I really thought. I left.
I drove silently to Warrick's house. I didn't want the radio to distract me.
On the way there I pondered our situation. We met at work. He loved me from afar for so long, and then we got together. We never discussed what would happen if it ended, what we would both do. I knew it would be unbearable to work with him if we ever broke up. For the first time in years, I wondered if maybe it was time to pack it up and go back to San Francisco. The situation in Vegas was just too volatile. I felt a little crazy sometimes. Having Grissom around me both calmed me and energized me at the same time. I felt like he was my back-up, like he was my protector. But I also felt he was the cause for most of my grief.
When I got to Warrick's house, I hesitated before getting out of the car. Would he be happy to see me? Or would he be pissed off? Or, what if he had another girl in there? I was so untrusting of men since that bastard Hank made me realize I was just another chick on the side.
I finally got out and knocked on his door, using our "secret knock." It took him a while, but he finally answered.
"Come on in," he muttered.
I walked in and noticed the empty beer bottles immediately. Warrick was listening to some soul music and getting drunk. This, I knew, was his way of dealing with the depression that sometimes took him over.
"Warrick.. I'm so sorry. I pushed all the wrong buttons last night and it was so wrong of me to question you like that..."
"Please, Sara. Don't
act like you didn't mean what you said. You do think you deserved
that promotion more than I did."
"But-"
I took a deep breath and let it out. I wasn't going to lie to him. Our relationship was built on honesty.
"I admit it. I think that I deserved it more than you or Nicky. Warrick, please understand that I never stop doing my job. I have no hobbies. Before you came along and changed all that, I never did anything but work 24 hours a day. I'm grateful to you for helping me understand that there's more to life than working. But I love working, and I know it shows."
He didn't say anything for a while.
"I know, Sara. I know. I've been thinking about that all day. And I think you're right. I think you did deserve it. I really do."I knew he didn't, but he was trying to make me feel better. I was grateful to him for that.
"So... do you think we can get past this?" I asked hopefully.
"Of course we can, baby. You hurt me, I'm not going to deny that. But I love you, and we're going to be okay. You know that! Come here."
I sat in his lap and he held me close to him. He smelled like alcohol, but I ignored it. We kissed, and then there was more.
It was our first big fight, and at the time, I thought it couldn't get any worse. It did.