"So what have I missed?"

"You want the one-sentence answer?" Mark teased and sat opposite her. She spotted the scar on his head again. "Well, flip, I mean what's it been four, five years?" He couldn't stop smiling and felt a little ridiculous… but then Susan was back, no wonder he was grinning. He'd never dared hope...

"Yeah, it has been a while." She was sure they'd had this conversation already. There was so much to say but where to start? "Every other face at County was a complete stranger."

"And medicine isn't supposed to have a high turnover."

She smiled, "That's cause someone started a nasty rumour about salaries and next thing you know we have prices on our heads."

He laughed. He'd missed her.

"I knew there was a reason I wasn't coming back to County."

"I thought I'd talked you into it."

"I thought you were taking me to dinner to do so." She grinned. She'd missed this.

"Should I stoop to bribery and corruption?"

"Ooh, sounds interesting."

Mark laughed. "Was it really that bad?"

"Oh, nostalgia wears rose coloured glasses but I was there today unfortunately and it all came rushing back."

"Northwestern?" he didn't sound impressed.

"No, probably not, but I'm looking forward to your negotiating skills."

"So am I. There's a reason I leave all that stuff to Kerry. My negotiating skills have been in transit somewhere for my entire adult life."

Susan laughed. This was the Mark she remembered. "So Kerry's head of the ER?"

"Yep."

"Who's chief of surgery?"

"That would be Robert Romano – you've been warned, breathes fire." He almost mustered the bitterness he should have considering Elizabeth virtually left him for that particular dragon.

"So not the red head you were working with today?"

"No that would be his girlfriend though. I used to think they were chalk and cheese but I'm beginning to see the light."

Susan laughed, "You jealous?" She had no idea how close she was – or would have been six months earlier. "Oh gosh. Really?"

"Ha, no. Elizabeth and I did… well, you know. But it ended ages ago."

"Ages, as in a week?"

"No, and I'm glad you didn't see how petty and pathetic I was a week afterward."

Susan laughed. "Well I haven't met this Romano guy…"

"Good for some." He interrupted.

"But I'd say Elizabeth is the one missing out." She was laughing and friendly and he didn't want to read into anything she said, but it was getting harder every minute.

"Okay, enough about me."

"You used up your blushing quotient for the day?" she teased.

He just laughed, damn she was stunning, "What about you? What happened with that guy you weren't engaged to?"

Susan rolled her eyes, "Oh, gosh."

"Yep, I'm going to wheedle it out of you."

"It was… oh gosh, it was embarrassing. Well, not really I mean he's a good guy, he's just…" she wanted to say 'not you' – that would certainly turn the conversation around, avoid the parts of the story she didn't really want to think about, and give her a quick line into telling Mark the line he should have used to get her back at county before kissing her and rushing her to the nearest lockable room.

"Did you break his heart?"

"I doubt it."

He smiled like he didn't believe it, suppressing the most resistant tad of bitterness at the way she left him standing at the station so long ago.

She took a deep breath. She wanted to tell him the rest but it wasn't so easy to pass off as unaffected by it all. "We were only talking about getting married cause…" she took another deep breath.

Mark figured it out and his eyes opened, "You were pregnant?"

She nodded.

"What happened?"

She was touched by his genuine concern. "The ER in Phoenix isn't all that different from County." She tried to joke but failed, "I shouldn't have been pushing myself – I was working just like I always did, you know what its like." She shrugged.

"Are you okay?" he was watching her face, trying to read her.

She nodded, "It was months ago now but… well it kicked the guts out of our relationship."

He nodded, not convinced that she was really okay about it. She'd fallen into being a mum to Suzie so well and he knew that she would have loved to be a mum for real. She would have been heart broken.

"I'm okay." She insisted. "Having a kid is hardly good grounds to base a marriage on anyway. But…"

He nodded understandingly.

"Yeah." She appreciated that. To be understood – one of the greatest human needs. She'd been away for years but hadn't noticed how much she missed it until now. "So…" she smiled at him.

"So." He smiled, "Have I convinced you to come back?"

She nodded. "I haven't signed my life away yet but unless a better offer comes up before, when was it you put me down for? Next Tuesday?"

"This Tuesday."

"Mark!"

"Yeah, well. I'll cover for you if you really can't be there. At least you're coming back." He grinned.

"I hope I didn't burn too many bridges today," she tried to remember if she'd brushed anyone aside.

"Why, who'd you offend?"

"Oh, it's probably nothing, just one of the nurses – young, long hair, seemed to know what she was doing…"

"Abby? She'll get over it. She's probably just marking her territory – her and Carter have a… thing."

"Really?" Susan grinned, glad to be back to normal conversation – just gossiping about county…

"Well, more of a non-thing really. It's the most dramatic nothing since…" he left it hanging mid sentence.

"Us?" she ventured.

"Yeah." He laughed, unsure of his footing on this subject. "If they'd just walk into work from the same El station then they'd be having a torrid affair too."

Susan laughed. Almost like old times, she thought wistfully. "Revenge." She grinned, trying not to get too sentimental and nostalgic. It was still early in the evening.

"Wasn't that why we plastered his leg?"

"Oh, I thought we did that just for the hell of it."

"I don't remember." He laughed.

"We had fun." So much for avoiding the sentimental and nostalgic…

"We did." His smile softened but his eyes stayed on hers.

She had to look away. She took a deep breath before she met his eyes again. "I'm… I'm really sorry about the way I left. I mean," awkward territory, "not about anything you said I just… I shouldn't have left like that, after what you said and…"

"It's okay." He gave her an out, surprised she'd broached the subject at all.

She smiled. "I don't know if I'd be as forgiving as you are."

"It was five years ago Susan."

"You don't hate me anymore." She grinned

He smiled, "I never hated you. That was the problem. Don't get me wrong, I was pissed off but… I've cooled off. My pride has almost recovered."

She knew he was teasing, but only to cover the truth. She wanted this out in the open. Only mushrooms grow in the dark. "I did love you." She was all too aware that she put it in the past tense and she didn't mean it like that at all.

He nodded. So much for not getting his hopes up again. Talk about something else. Something other than their history. Or anything, just not that last little bit of their history, the bit where he sacrificed himself on the altar of dignity and she only kissed him goodbye. One kiss and it was for goodbye. He could remember that day all too well. Unfortunately.

Right. Changing the subject… "So where are you staying?"

"Um…" she was thrown off, "Ah, I'm at Dad's for a few days but I'm definitely considering booking into a hotel if an apartment doesn't fall into my hands in the next day or two."

He laughed, "How's the old man?"

"Bout the same."

"Well I hope you don't want your old place back cause I'm all set up and comfortable in there now."

"You're still there?"

"Sure. Why would I move? Close-ish to work, close to the El. Plus it's your old place." He wasn't sure why that made a difference, but it did.

"You've been there longer than I was." She liked that he still thought of it as her place – kind of touching. Maybe he still… no that was a lot to assume.