A/N: Life is hectic, but I have not forgotten this story dear readers and so I offer another chapter of our downtrotten but hopeful pairing.
A suiting song I listened to a lot while making my way through this one is Love Song For A Vampire by Annie Lennox.
Chapter Thirteen / Solace
Confusion clouded her thoughts and jumbled the unspoken words in her mind but she attempted once more to pull herself upward to see his face for herself. As she started to fumble again he reached out and gently helped her to rest sitting upward. The hazy memory of his pale hair was haunting the back of her mind with the missing pieces of his face longing to be found. Swaying, she moved inadvertently to fall backwards but with ease and speed seen only to the eyes of an immortal he pulled her to rest against his shoulder side by side. Rolling her head backwards she searched through her bleary vision to find his eyes, only to see them diverted and looking above her head. From the crook of his shoulder and seeing only a dark ring around the underside of his iris, she wondered how long they had looked so different then she remembered. Trickling down his lower lash a solitary ruddy tear streaked its way down the angles of his cheek. With his eyes unflinching and unmoving from the wall across from them, he was oblivious when it reached the end of its journey at the turn of his jaw and dripped down onto her bruised lip.
"Why won't you look at me? Is it really that bad?"
Choking back a cry she twinged feeling her wounds starting to seep with the change in position. Alarmed, he reached down to cradle her face in his hand and reassured her with hushed cooing. His thumb reached to wipe away the blood staining her chapped and raw mouth but it clung to the cracks in her lips. At last, his eyes searched hers pleadingly for reassurance that she was okay. His eyes shining like rubies and glimmering with unshed tears they flickered across the dip of her shoulders only to grow darker as they soaked in the sight of her blood. Gaunt and underweight, his visage was ghostly, but she leaned in further against him despite her body's natural senses standing on edge warning her to move away. His pallor was whiter than the driven snow betrayed only by the bruised violet hollows under his eyes. Time had not been kind to either but in this forsaken space there was no place she felt safer.
"No, never, I would not dare think to look away from you when you need help. I was simply trying to let you maintain some decency. I did not want to make you uncomfortable due to your state of undress."
Whether it was the exhaustion or the ease she felt being beside him, the nudity of her form hadn't struck her and she simply pantomimed the word 'oh' in response. The chilling edge of his skin chased away the burning fever twirling across her back, lulling her muscles to relax and bend into the embrace of his body. Underneath her, he shuffled delicately to remove his stained and torn shirt and without letting her lose balance he slid the shirt over her body. Though she seemed comfortable despite it, he could feel the sight of her naked torso arousing a confusing mix of emotions he didn't want to confront at that moment, not when she was like this and not after what she'd been through. Curiosity was courting him like an alleycat and he wanted desperately to know the events that had played out while he was unconscious, but he knew it would risk causing her distress, especially if it had been as bad as he imagined. In the end, he decided he didn't need to ask. A lifetime of the evils of men and the sins of his kind painted vivid enough visions in his head.
"This isn't all my blood. Can you tell?"
Whispering into his exposed chest she turned against his body pressing her face into him to flush away the heat crawling up her cheeks. The softest caress of her lips etched across his skin as he put to memory how it felt. With care he reached up his arms to cradle her lightly. The muddled scent of bulgarian roses tainted with scents distinctly not her own; he'd known the moment he smelled the blood from the top of the staircase to their dungeon.
"Yes, I could tell when you were near because of it. I could tell you were alive. I nearly went out of my mind when I woke up and you were gone. If you hadn't returned…if you hadn't come back… I think I would have broken my body to bits trying to claw my way out of these walls to find you. I could still feel you coursing inside of my veins but I couldn't feel you near and I would have done terrible things if you were never brought back."
The confession was poured upon the crown of her head as he brushed his chin into her hair trying wildly to continue to memorize how she felt so close to him. His animalistic compulsion was driving him to encircle around her like a protective shield that would keep out any who dared to rip her away. Briefly, regret swelled in his chest, fearful that the rushed admittance would scare her away from him but she simply sidled into his arms more comfortably and his unbeating heart vibrated in content. He'd never known this feeling since he'd awakened as a vampire but with her blood coursing through his veins he felt a possessiveness to her that rattled the beast within.
"Dolohov kept me blinded the entire evening so I couldn't really see anything. I suppose that's for the best. I can take the pain, I'm used to pain, but it's the crying that got to me. All those people dying and wailing in so much agony. Lucius, it tore me apart to hear them. And then to feel their blood coating the floors and crawl through it like an animal…how can people hurt like this? How can people hurt others like that?"
Heartache marred her voice as it cracked on the last breath tickled against his bare skin and he tried gently to stroke the spaces of her back not maimed by the whip; his hand entangled underneath the battered shirt. If she minded, she said nothing of it, and so his fingers stayed tracing the skin, delicately trying to avoid his nails touching the tender spots. The lull of quietness settled between them with her heavy questions left unanswered with only the sound of the howling wind and her muffled tears echoing through the room. Lucius's mind was simultaneously empty and overflowing, seeking desperately for the answers she wanted. There was nothing he could say that would make this alright, no matter how badly he wanted there to be. Pressing his face deeper into her hair he hid away the remaining tears that sought refuge in her matted dulled curls.
"I don't know what I can say to make you feel okay, I don't think there is anything that can make you forget this.I'm sorry for that, but I won't let you face it alone. If you will let me, I will do anything it may take to take you away from this pain. You don't deserve this."
Her frail arms entwined around his waist as she pulled him even closer still, fiercely seeking to embrace him hard enough that the world around them melted away. If she could, she would crawl beneath his skin until the coldness numbed away the woe of this world. This time, the silence was comfortable as he listened to her shaky breaths and as she let him heal her wounds as much as his venom could. Though he wasn't strong enough to seal the wounds entirely, they no longer seeped and the deepest lashes closed enough to leave a thin layer of fresh skin inside the divots of the scar tissue. Her breathing had become so steady he'd assumed she'd fallen asleep until he felt her speak against his chest.
"You don't deserve this either, you know."
His hands froze against her as the words struck him in surprise. He knew the reply he believed in his heart, that he deserved worse, but he couldn't say it out loud. He couldn't break her heart with it when he knew she didn't believe it the way he did. As though she could read his mind she retorted instinctively.
"I know you don't think that and I understand why but I will make sure you understand what I mean with time. You have to see yourself through the eyes of someone other than the people who want to see the worst in you. You can't always see yourself just the way you see yourself, it's going to ruin you."
Unlocking her arms from around him she pushed back to look directly into his eyes. Fear danced behind the reddened lashes as he felt himself properly examined for the first time in years. Her eyes softened affectionately as she regarded him with a kindness he'd hardly ever known. The air between them felt charged and heated despite the chill creeping into through the barred window grate. Their eyes held the same question and they fought between the sense of self and the desire they both felt. She inched ever so closer, her fingers reaching out to tangle into the pale hair at the back of his neck. No words were further needed to tell him to make the move they both desperately craved and he brought his lips to hers with a trembling hesitant delicacy. Praying silently to whatever gods may listen that he wasn't ruining something before it even had a chance to bloom, he moved his mouth against hers and they curled into each other. The remnants of his dried tear on her lip melted into his mouth and as he tasted himself on her he fought to hold himself back from being too rough. Her slight hands silently traced over his skin as if mapping out how every inch felt and stopped to stroke his jaw with her thumb.
Her blood within his body hummed and sang, pricking all his senses to life as her taste flooded his tongue. Sweet and heady, intoxicating him wholly as her being enveloped him completely. The creature within him thrummed as he deepened the kiss and held her head so cautiously between his two hands. Her hands wandered further down to his chest, prodding ever so lightly at the edges of the nearly healed wound his maker left. He gasped into her mouth at the sensation and deepened the kiss aching to feel anything other than the sorrow and pain that dragged him around like a ball and chain anymore. A thought in the back of his mind worried that a similar thought was crossing hers as well. While the physical desire pulled him away from the real nightmare they both lived, he still felt every fiber of his body and whatever soul may reside inside him, wanting to be with her. The very real thought that she could flee and never see him again once they escaped had taunted him ever since he'd allowed her in so close to him, but he found he could no longer care. All he could think was that he wanted her to be free even if that meant somewhere far away from him. And when he'd crawl into whatever hole that he could find for the rest of his damned eternity, he'd spend the rest of his unfettered life remembering how she felt wrapped around him.
In the distance the sound of someone discreetly closing a door at the top of the stairwell to their floor tickled against his enhanced hearing. A grimace flashed across his face and he found himself regretfully pulling away from Hermione who stared up at him in confusion. Leaning down to her ear he whispered before retreating to the opposite side of the room.
"Someone is coming, pretend you're scared."
Time stretched between them filled with uncertainty and anxiety as they glanced from each other to the door. Soon, the footfalls reached just outside the door and before they could see a face a voice spoke out to them in hushed tones.
"It's been a long time, Lucius."
Automatically the tension in Lucius's muscles relaxed and he deliberately walked at a human pace to the door, his hands wrapping around the bars. Despite the darkness seeping into the hallway he could see Severus Snape's face clear as day looking back at him with heavy concern. A concern not evident to anyone other than someone who knew him like a book and knew all his tells. Severus moved towards him and peered around his shoulder to glimpse Hermione who was finally staggering up on her feet and moving towards them both, the physical discomfort obvious with every step. Hearing her shuffling Lucius retreated back to wrap one arm around his shoulder and guide her towards their visitor, allowing her still to use her own strength without taking full control. When they finally reached the door together the look that passed over Severus's face was nearly missed, but nothing could slip past Lucius's eyesight anymore. He knew his friend was curious but also alarmed for the safety of Hermione. He knew that Severus knew what he was now. A stabbing pain in his chest throbbed with an aching familiarity he'd felt before from seeing the same doubt in others eyes. No matter what beautiful words Hermione gifted him with, others still saw the same monster when they looked at him.
"It's been a very long time, Severus. Does anyone know what you're up to?"
Hermione looked as though she was debating on several things to say but under the impervious heavy eyes of her former professor she floundered on the right thing to say.
"No, but the order knows she's here and I am to extract her as soon as there is an opening to do so. It cannot be tonight, I regret to say. There are too many of the death eaters still upstairs waiting to be given new order missions and shaking off their hangovers. It will be soon though, the order is pushing for it."
Lucius felt her exhale a long breath she'd been holding ever since she came close to Severus. The trembling in her legs started to slip away and he could smell the adrenaline inundating her body with momentary bravado. The nibbling worried thought in the back of his mind was so close to finally coming true and he felt himself deflate despite his happiness for her. He knew it was wrong to feel that way and he pleaded with his mind to unfurl its grasp around her because he knew the other shoe still hadn't dropped.
"I didn't know you'd be here too Lucius otherwise I would have…negotiated for your extraction as well. I can still return with this information and state a case for you, if you are willing to supply anything you know."
Glancing over at Hermione he saw the hope fluttering around her benevolent bruised face like a frenzied butterfly. He hated to crush it so quickly and so mercilessly.
"Would they be truly willing to take me despite my…condition?"
And there it was. The glowing beam about her wilted before his very eyes and her nails gripped into his shoulder to keep her standing still. Severus's face betrayed the same uncertainty that he felt. All three stood in silence as Lucius's words hung in the air between them like a hangman's noose. In a voice that sounded more sympathetic than Lucius had ever heard from him, Severus offered his earnest promise.
"I will try, old friend."