Susan was shattered. Nostalgia had fogged her glasses and for some reason she'd thought county was quieter than that. She probably would have been fine, except Carter was pre-mourning his Gamma and kept reaching out to her. She loved to help but she didn't want to give him any ideas. So she walked that line carefully. Meanwhile, the similar line with Mark was faded and smudged. He was always busy and exhausted, between Rachel and work he had enough on his plate and so she resolved to be there for him when he needed her but to ask nothing in return. Not now anyway.

Gallant was shadowing Mark like a bad smell, asking about multi-syllabic conditions until Mark pawned him off on a skin infection and cornered Susan, "Save me."

She laughed, "He seems nice."

"Of course he does. That's how they all start, until they grow up to become residents like Carter."

Susan looked confused, "I wish."

Now Mark looked confused.

"What? He turned into a good doctor."

Mark tried to cover himself, pretending he was teasing when really he was jealous and digging for information.

Susan picked it, "Oh my gosh."

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" Gallant appeared at Mark's side like the faithful pup he was.

Mark wanted to say, "Yup," to the med student and kiss the girl.

"No, you're alright." Susan grinned at Mark and left them to it.

Mark was on his way out when Susan finally escaped Carter (you might have noticed, he's my favourite). She jogged to catch up to him.

"You okay?"

He stopped just outside the doors. "I have to go get Rachel – she's been suspended."

Susan looked shocked. "What for?"

He shook his head and rolled his eyes and shrugged all at once. "I better go."

She nodded. "I'm off in a couple of hours if you want some company." She offered.

He shook his head, "Rachel's going to need all my attention. Plus, I think Carter needs you more."

Susan exhaled frustrated. "Mark, I…" she shook her head half-laughing.

He let himself smile a bit. "I have to go."

She nodded and backed into the ER.

"Hi, is your Dad there?" Susan asked the teenager on the other end of the phone.

"Dad!" Rachel yelled. It's not that big an apartment, Susan thought.

"Thanks. Mark here." He picked up.

"Hey." Susan said cheerily, sinking back into the couch.

"Hi." He smiled unintentionally but kept it under wraps cause Rachel was watching him suspiciously.

"Just wanted to check you were doing okay."

"Yeah." He replied vaguely, leaving the lounge and Rachel's glare. "She's okay. It's just three days."

"What was it?" Susan asked.

Mark sighed, "Some girl thought she was going to stab her with scissors."

"What?"

"Yeah, when really she was only threatening to chop her dreads off. This is normal behaviour."

"Why?" Susan didn't quite hide her incredulity.

He sighed, "The girl was apparently flirting with Andrew, who apparently is going out with Rachel. What does that mean at fourteen?"

Susan tried to remember. Fourteen? Mark wouldn't appreciate knowing what she was up to when she was fourteen. So she didn't tell him. "It figures it was over a boy."

"Yeah, I thought boys were meant to get in trouble for girls but I didn't realise it went both ways."

Susan laughed. "So what are you to up to for three days?"

"House arrest, it feels like it anyway. Are you at work?"

"Nope, I've got a couple of days off. Aren't you supposed to be on?" She couldn't remember the schedule.

"I got today switched but I'm on tomorrow. Rachel's fine by herself – at least I hope so. I'm tempted to give her enough chores to keep her busy and out of trouble but I'm afraid that might not help things."

"Yeah, maybe not. But at least your apartment will be clean."

Mark laughed. "I wish I knew what she wanted. She doesn't want to go back to St Louis – I mean it's good for my ego but I can't quite convince myself she wants to be here either."

"If she didn't want to be there she would have left – that's what she did before right?"

"I guess. I just don't know what to do."

"They should put out books on this stuff."

"I'm pretty sure they do." He replied, "but I know there's no easy answer."

"Yeah." She agreed helplessly wishing she could do more.

"So, how's Carter?"

"Who knows? Probably chasing Gamma around town." She almost laughed at Mark's thinly-disguised jealousy. "You know there's nothing there right? He still seems like a med student to me. I mean I'm sure I'll get over it and all but… ick."

Mark laughed. She'd known what he was digging for and she'd given it to him straight. "I'm sure that he'd love to hear that."

"I'm trying to break it to him lightly."

"Yeah, only allowed to break so many hearts in one lifetime eh?"

Susan laughed but it was forced.

"Hey, look, thanks for your, um, support, with Rachel lately."

"It's okay, that's what friends are for right?" she brushed it off.

"Yeah, well I appreciate it."

"I just wish I could actually do something to help."

"You did. You were straight with me. I'm too involved but you were cool and calm and collected. So thank you."

"You said that already." She teased. "Hey, you want to come for dinner tonight?"

"I don't know. Rachel's brooding…"

"So bring her along. I'll cook."

"You'll cook?" Maybe she'd learnt in the last five years, he wondered, possible…

"Yeah, I'll teleport myself down to the Chinese restaurant take-out after I place my order and teleport myself back in time to pay the delivery guy." She laughed.

"Chinese sounds good." He smiled, his suspicions confirmed.

"Yeah. So about seven?"

"Sure. I better go. I think I can smell cigarette smoke."

"Would she really?" Susan was surprised at that.

"She's aiming to shock at the moment."

"She's succeeding. Be staunch my friend." She said lightly.

"I'm working on it." Mark walked back into the lounge as he said goodbye.

Rachel shut the window and turned to face him smiling.

"Well at least you had the courtesy to take it outside." He dripped sarcasm.

"I was just…" she started before she realised her argument was fruitless.

Mark sat down on the sofa. "Oh, no just keep going the way you're going. Take the whole lot outside. Down the trash chute preferably. Do you know what your lungs will look like?" he was trying so hard to sound like he didn't care. To his credit, he wasn't doing a very good job.

"I hardly had any." She started but knew this was a battle she wasn't going to win face-to-face. Behind his back, sure, but not to his face. She sat reluctantly on the sofa beside him.

"Look. I don't know much about your life at all. I can guess what you're up to but I'd rather not cause my imagination is terrifying." He took a deep breath.

"I'm fine Dad."

"Yeah, and you're growing up and you can do a lot of stuff without my help, but… Well the truth is I can't control you, I can't make decisions for you, I can't keep an eye on you all the time. If you do something I think puts you in danger then I'll ground you. That's how it works. Smoking puts you in danger. Getting suspended – that qualifies too."

"Yeah, I know."

"I'm not very good at this stuff. And I'm sorry I haven't been around much – I really am."

"I know." She was trying to comfort him now.

"There's a minor chance that I've picked something up in the past twenty-thirty years – you know? Maybe I can help you out sometime – if you'll just tell me what's going on. I love you and I want to know… anything, everything that you want to tell me," He exhaled, "I want you to be able to stay here but if your mother got a report of this week then I doubt she'd allow it. I'm trying my best but you're going to have to put a little effort in too – if you want this to work." He waited for her response, more vulnerable than she was aware.

"I do." She said it really quietly but he heard her.

He smiled at her encouragingly. "Okay." He took a deep breath.

"You want to do something dad?"

"Well," he looked at his watch, "Susan's invited us for dinner."

"Me?"

"Yup." He smiled.

"Are you guys like… you know?"

"No, Susan's an old friend – she moved to Phoenix five years ago. She went to help with her sister's baby. I'm surprised you don't remember her."

Rachel thought about it. "Did she have a baby?"

"Well Suzie is Chloe's daughter but Susan looked after her when you knew her."

"Oh," she nodded in recognition. "I think I remember."

Mark couldn't help but smile.

Mark parked outside Susan's father's house. Why was he so nervous? He got out of the car quickly, hoping Rachel wouldn't notice.

"Hey, come in." Susan smiled warmly, opening the door.

Mark waited for Rachel to go in then followed, smiling at Susan sincerely.

"So, what do you guys want for dinner? I have a stack of menus and they all have handy-dandy phone numbers. I guess I get my cooking genes from Dad."

Mark laughed and sat down at the breakfast bar comfortably.

Rachel had expected him to politely say he'd have whatever she was having but he had a good look at the menu.

"You want a drink?" Susan asked them.

"Sure. What are we having?" Mark asked.

"What do you want?" she countered, challenging him with playful eyes.

Rachel was amused by the whole exchange. "Soda?"

"Sure." Susan passed her one.

"Sounds good." Mark took the next one Susan offered.

"Chinese okay?"

Mark and Rachel nodded.

"Left overs for breakfast?" Mark picked up three part-full boxes off the floor.

Susan smiled at him. "No room for desert?"

Rachel was sitting cross-legged in an armchair. "Sure." She grinned.

"We'll come up with something." Susan got up and followed Mark to the kitchen. "Come on, I doubt your Dad's going to be much help." She said to Rachel as she passed.

Rachel smiled and followed.

"Ice cream?" Susan opened the freezer and put a tub on the bench.

"Always." Rachel replied.

Mark was putting their cartons in the trashcan under the sink, grateful that they couldn't see his grin.

"And…" Susan searched the cupboards. "Excellent." She deposited a block of chocolate on top of the ice cream. "You like chocolate sauce right?"

"Of course." Rachel got up to help and Mark turned to watch them, leaning against the bench behind him.

"There's a saucepan under there." Susan pointed to a cupboard then went to the fridge for some cream.

"Just a small one?" Rachel asked.

"How much chocolate sauce do you want?" Susan teased, taking the offered saucepan and turning on an element. "You want to melt the chocolate?"

"Sure," Rachel broke it up and put it in the pan.

Susan leaned over and poured a little bit of cream in so the chocolate wouldn't burn then leant on the bench behind her, opposite Mark.

"What?" she asked of his contented stare.

"Nothing." He spoke softly, his eyes still holding hers. He shut his eyes like that was the only way he could look away.

"I love this movie." Rachel broke away from their conversation, suddenly paying attention to the television that had just been going on in the back ground. Their desert bowls were scraped almost-clean and sitting on the carpet with a selection of glasses and mugs.

Susan lazily turned up the volume. She was sitting on the other end of the sofa from Mark, her legs tucked comfortably under her.

He had his long legs stretched out, ankles crossed. He didn't recognize the movie so he turned back to his conversation with Susan. She was laughing at him. Nothing unusual there. But it wasn't cruel. In fact it was so comfortable and natural that he wouldn't have swapped it for a hundred compliments.

Half way through the movie Mark got up and took as many dishes as he could carry out to the kitchen. Susan followed with the rest.

"We don't need to do them now." She put the saucepan in the sink.

"I don't mind." Mark ran the hot tap.

Susan pulled out the dish rack. "Thanks."

"No, thank you. For dinner and desert and…"

"It was take-out Mark, hardly a burden."

He smiled, "That's not what I meant."

"I know. I'm just hassling you."

"So where's your Dad?"

"At the bar – as usual. It's for the hockey, not the beer." She grinned, wiping a bowl. "How are things going?" she pointed to the lounge rather than saying Rachel's name.

"Good." He nodded, "Oddly enough. We… talked after you called. And then… tonight's been really great. You're good with her."

Susan concentrated on the dishes with a self-depreciating smile. "So are you. You're trying to raise a teenager on your own." She shrugged, "Don't be too hard on yourself."

After a few moments Mark replied, "It's scary how well you know me."

She looked up at him thoughtfully, "You don't change much."

"Neither do you." He shook his head but his eyes were clamped to hers and not going anywhere. Yeah, while you're doing dishes, real romantic Mark. He smiled and finished up, pulling the plug, fishing around in the draining water for any hiding cutlery.

"You want to put the jug on?" Susan put the last of the dishes away and wiped the bench.

He wordlessly nodded and filled the kettle.

They waited for it to boil in silence. A waiting that wasn't so much awkward as it was anxious. Anxious for what? To get it right this time? Not to get hurt again.

They sat at the breakfast bar and nursed decaf coffee until the credits-music sang through from the lounge.

"I should probably take her home."

"Yeah, school night." Susan took his empty mug.

"Well, not for her." He grinned.

Susan smiled, knowing he didn't take the suspension as lightly as he was trying to make out. She walked through to the lounge and he followed. He didn't want to leave the kitchen because there had been so many missed chances in the past hour – so many times he'd been terrified by the confession in the back of his throat. Leaving those opportunities behind was more painful than he thought it should be. How could she still affect him like this after all these years?

Rachel was sleeping, curled up in the armchair.

"Aw, isn't that cute?" Susan cooed after switching off the TV.

Mark smiled at her and picked up his daughter. She leant into him in her sleep. He couldn't help but smile – the joy of a father whose daughter needs him… for a change. He carried her to the car and Susan opened the door. Now getting her in… this was the fun part.

Susan tried to help, and tried not to laugh too loud.

Mark tried not to tell her how stunning she looked laughing in the foggy lamplight.

"Why doesn't she just sleep here. You have to work tomorrow right? I have the day off."

"It's your day off Susan – sleep in, paint your nails, relax, all that stuff."

"Paint my nails?" She cocked her head to one side teasingly. "Honestly, just stay. There's spare rooms. Let her sleep. You can sneak out at some ungodly hour to go and save lives and us girls will sleep in and eat the leftovers from desert for breakfast in the early afternoon."

"She's going to want to get suspended again." He relented and Susan shut the car door.

Susan didn't turn the lights on inside. Their eyes had adjusted to the dim streetlight coming through the undrawn curtains.

Mark put Rachel down on a single bed as Susan pulled the covers away underneath her. She was about to start tucking the girl in when she realised – this was too happy-family, she was presuming too much, she already loved him but this was… she was setting her hopes up to get dashed, setting herself up to get hurt… She waited outside the door.

"You okay?" he whispered, closing the door behind him.

She nodded and wandered to the next room, turning on the light but not going inside. "Bathroom's at the end of the hall." She pointed. "And I'm the blue door beside it."

He nodded, "I'm wide awake."

"You have work in…"

"Six hours." He nodded, holding her eyes.

She felt like she'd been holding her breath and hyperventilating seemed highly likely but she couldn't pull her eyes away. He was so close. She'd longed for this from the moment she'd left – another chance. She couldn't walk away. "I love you." She breathed.

His eyes and mouth widened slightly as though that was totally unexpected. "You do?"

She nodded, "It's always been you."

He was stunned. She meant it. The sad honesty in her eyes, the waver in her voice, that intense vulnerability. He stepped into her, one hand on her shoulder to steady himself, one on her face, his lips meeting hers with sudden clarity. No more waiting, hoping she'd love him. She already did.

Time seemed to slow down as he reached out to her. She couldn't help but think of their one other kiss. But this time neither of them was leaving. She held onto him with everything she had. She didn't want to stop but it had been a while since she'd last breathed. She pulled back for a breath and looked at him, stunned, then smiling… wow.

"Oh I love you." Mark spoke in a breath and was rewarded with an incredible smile. She touched his face with incredulous hands that had to check he was real. He couldn't help but grin… and kiss her again.

Susan heard the door opening and shutting downstairs. She pulled away but she couldn't stop smiling. "I think Dad's home," she whispered, knowing she sounded like a teenager.

Mark wasn't sure about this – he'd never met Susan's dad and this might not be the best time. Susan could see the reservation in his face and took his hand, pulling him down the hall to her room and shutting the door behind them.

Mark forced his laugh silent. Susan didn't. He gave her a pointed look, like he didn't want to get caught. Which made her laugh even harder. Mark leant against the back of the door with a sigh, smiling at her – amused and a little awe-struck. She was so beautiful. She'd stopped laughing and was just looking at him. "I'm glad you came back." His quiet voice was loud in the silence.

"I wish I'd never left." Her tone matched his in simplicity.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. He was still hurt from the way she left. Ridiculously, he felt, because five years had passed, but he was hurt nonetheless. "Why did you?"

She looked up and met his eyes then looked away. If she was going to try and explain this then seeing his direct reaction might not help. She exhaled, "I was so alone here. Being with Suzie was my chance to fix that – or so I thought." She took another deep breath.

He could see she was struggling. "You don't have to Sus…"

"No, it's okay. I owe you an explanation."

"No you don't – it was your decision. Mine was to chase after you at the last moment and offer you an ultimatum – that wasn't fair on you – I just thought that you might…"

"Please believe me Mark, I did love you. That's why I left. I was so afraid… Susie was a sure thing but you… I'd never loved anyone like that." Now she met his eyes, "I've never loved anyone… like this. If I stayed for this then… then if it didn't work out, or… I was scared. So that's it. It's a stupid reason but…"

"No it's not. I'm scared. I've waited for this for so long. If it doesn't work out then I won't just move on. Five years ago it didn't work out and I still haven't moved on."

"I'm not making the same mistake twice." She stood up and walked over till she faced him.

The look in her eyes made him smile.

"I'm not going anywhere."

And that really made him smile.

She reached up and touched his face then pulled him into an embrace.

"I love you Susan." He whispered into her ear.

She was still grinning when he snuck down the hall a couple of hours later.