I have plenty of things I want to work into the story, just don't know yet exactly how. Any ideas or questions, email or IM me.
Thanks muchos for the reviews (Piper! Jillybean9! JessDracoLover24! Keeponwritin! Moo! Britfan1! Tic-Tac!), and thanks as well to everyone who is reading, but not reviewing. (Reviews are much appreciated, but in no way ever required.)
Disclaimer - Own nothing related to anything in this story. Song used is property of ASCAP/BMI, its writers, producers, the artist, and record label. Lizzie McGuire is the property of Disney and Ren-Mar studios.
On to Chapter 2...
Chapter 2
He rode the elevator back up with a heavy heart. He should be ecstatic, dancing around, walking on cloud nine, but it just wasn't so. Why? Because not only had he missed yet ANOTHER opportunity with Lizzie, but here he was leaving her behind and going back to his room. He would do anything for her, but just couldn't face everyone right now. Everyone thought he was so cool and collected, but whenever under pressure, he just seemed to implode.
He didn't know what to think right now. He had known Lizzie forever, and they knew each other so well, yet not at all. The car arrived on the second floor, and sighing heavily, he turned around, opened the doors and got out. He walked away without closing the doors. Let everyone walk up the stairs, he didn't feel like letting the elevator go back.
He patted his pockets looking for the key to the room he was sharing with Ethan. Hmmm... two paper clips, four pennies, and a two week old receipt for a large pina colada smoothie from the Digital Bean. He didn't want to have to go down and ask Ethan for his copy. He stopped and thought a minute. He furrowed his brow trying to remember where he had put it.
Oh yeah! He had given the key back to Miss Ungermeyer before he had left for the airport. Crap. That meant he HAD to go back downstairs. He wasn't even sure his suitcase had returned with him. He took a step forward, then turned back. It was a longshot, but worth a try. He jiggled the doorknob. Luckily, it was unlocked. He mouthed a silent "Thank you" to no one in particular, and went into the room. He fumbled for the light switch, then finding it, flicked it on, and closed the door behind him.
His suitcase sat just inside the door. He sat his backpack down, and lifted the other bag. He began to carry it across the room, then had on a whim, dropped it, and began to kick it across the room, until it was next to the beds. Strange, but it helped him vent a little, picking on an inanimate object. Even though he had left several hours ago, not anticipating coming back, the bed he had been using still lay unmade. Hmmmmm... He quickly fixed the covers, and placed the case on the bed. He opened it, and absentmindedly removed item after item. He straightened out several folded items of clothing, and went to hang them back up.
Several small 'things' remained in his luggage, but he left them there, as he zipped the case closed, and placed it in the closet next to Ethan's duffel bag. Now what? He sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. The party would probably go on for hours. Thinking on it, he should have gone back with Lizzie, but it was too late now. He could use an aspirin, but there were none here. Maybe a little rest was all he needed.
But he didn't want to rest. His mind was racing. He jumped up, and paced the room, thinking.. That kiss could have meant something major, or nothing at all. Knowing Lizzie, the only way he would find out is to ask. And he just couldn't, not now. If only he had thought of something better to do than say "Thanks" when she kissed him. How incredibly lame was that? It had happened so fast, his mind had gone blank. He had often envisioned what would he would do if he could kiss her, and in many ways, that was nothing like it.
He made a fist and hit himself in the forehead a few times. Stupid, stupid, stupid, how could be be so stupid? Sometimes being so, so, well, so analytical, so critical, so predictable, it worked against him. Why couldn't he be more spontaneous? Even when he tried to do something 'on a whim', he couldn't. He had to think of all the cons and pros before making it look like he was acting impulsively. He was always trying to 'play it safe', and this was one of those times he should have just reacted, and dealt with the consequences. Consequences? Ha! What would be the worst thing that would happen if he had kissed back? NOTHING! It wasn't like she'd slap him for it. She kissed him. He just didn't expect it, and simply didn't know how to handle it. She must think he was cold and unfeeling...
He stopped dead in his tracks. What a dumb thing to think! After all he'd done for her, after all the years they'd been friends, there was no way she'd think him that small, that shallow, but just about anyone else in that situation would have had the brains to react correctly. Even Ethan could have handled it better, and his I.Q. was just a smidge higher than a jar of mayonnaise. At least, Ethan would have said something more substantial, and attempted to find out WHY she kissed him. He never had found out what caused the kiss during the yearbook picture, he didn't know how to bring it up, and she volunteered no information.
He walked over to the window, and looked out. He would rather die than ever hurt Lizzie. There was a 0.01% chance that if he had kissed back, that he would be unable to stop himself from forcing her into doing something she didn't want. A miniscule possibility, but it was there. He was afraid he'd suddenly take advantage of her, and go too far. This wasn't the first opportunity he had let pass, but how many more could there be? Was that a 'moment of truth', and he was just too blind to realize it? The time for him to finally show her he loved her as more than a best friend? The kiss was almost as fantastic as he'd imagined it would be, almost, because it was missing something. It was missing his participation. He spun away from the window and told his brain to just SHUT up. Why should he continue to beat himself up, and second guess what 'might have been'? What would all this accomplish?
His stomach growled. He pressed his fingers to his ribs, in attempt to control his insides, but to no avail. He hadn't eaten since breakfast, which could be another reason for his poor judgement a few minutes prior. He hadn't even taken a bite of food from the party. Maybe Ethan had some food stashed in his stuff. He located Ethan's knapsack, and pawed through it. A CD player? Score! He had neglected to bring his portable along. He wasn't the stereotypical teen, headphones locked to his ears, but it was said that music soothed the savage beast, maybe soft music would help to heal his tortured soul.
He adjusted the headphones, set the volume and hit play. He heard guitars.
Wake up in the morning
Looking a little rough
Today I don't know who I am
Today is not enough
So I go up to the mirror
Strike another pose...
Bleah! He shut it off, removed the headphones, and opened the machine. He read the artist and title. Haylie Duff? Who was that? Probably some wannabe rock chick that only people like Ethan Craft knew about. In spite of himself, he laughed. Those lyrics fit Ethan to a tee. He set the player aside, and kept looking for sustenance. Alright! This looked promising, something wrapped in a paper napkin. He replaced the CD player, and put the knapsack away.
He carried the small bundle back to 'his' side of the room. He sat back down on the side of the bed, trying to discern what was inside, trying to decide if it was edible. Carefully, he unwrapped it, wondering what it contained. Hmmm, looked like cookie sticks. Wait, he'd seen this before, what was it? He racked his brain for the name. Biscotti, that was it. One piece appeared to be chocolate, the other contained almond slivers. He bit into the darker piece, and was rewarded with a crunchy, sweet goodness. Wow! Too bad they didn't sell these back in Hillridge... He quickly ate both pieces, and wished for more. He could have polished off a dozen without effort, but two was all he had. Oh well, at least now his stomach wouldn't try to eat itself.
His mouth was incredibly dry now. He sprung up from the bed, and went into the spacious bathroom. He turned on the faucet, cupped his hands, used it to wash his mouth out. He took a few sips. Tap water was definitely not his favorite beverage, but this was much better than what was available back home. He took another minute or two to use the facilites. He started to leave, then decided to leave the light on, and the door cracked.
He returned to the other room, turned off the overhead lamp, and stood there in the dim light. He should go to bed. It was a little warm in the room, but he didn't feel like opening the window. He lay on top of the covers, and finally began to relax. His mind began to race once more with "What if" situations, and he tried his best to shut it off.
It took an hour, maybe two, but finally he fell into a deep sleep. Even in his dreams he had yet more visions of what should have happened, and what still might be. So asleep was he, that he didn't notice when Ethan entered. His new roommate was just a step behind. Sergei had brought a cot with him, and he set it up in an unoccupied area of the suite. Both he and Ethan took turns in the restroom, getting ready for bed. Neither awoke Gordo, he'd discover the new arrangements in the morning. Soon they were in slumberland, sleeping almost as soundly as Mr. Gordon.
A/N A little hard on himself, isn't he? Well, in some ways I'm playing out stuff that happened to me, through the character of Gordo. But things WILL get better for him, I promise.
Hope I proofread this enough, the last chapter I found a TON of mistakes. Find any? Let me know... I probably shouldn't upload stuff at 4 AM.
Thanks for reading! If you like, review, or email (JP5683@msn.com) or IM (AOL JP five 683 MSN JP5683@msn.com Yahoo JP5683) me. Send me comments, questions, praises, or flames, your choice.
THANKS!
JP
Song in this chapter:
Haylie Duff - Girl In The Band
August 9, 2003