"Hey Mark." Carter had been checking stats for a while before Mark opened his eyes.
"Carter." Mark's voice was croaky, his eyes heavy.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine." He blinked, trying to wake up, "What was it? Minor concussion? Terminal brain tumour? Something's out to do my head in, it seems."
Carter smiled at Mark's weak attempt to joke. "A consult came down from oncology earlier. They're holding a bed for you." Carter took a deep breath before he spoke and Mark knew what was coming. "We want to keep you overnight for observation. But they offered to take you now."
Mark nodded.
"You sure?"
Mark nodded again. "Is Susan here?"
"Yeah, she's sleeping in four, do you want me to get her?"
"No, she needs to sleep, but can you tell her when she wakes?"
"Yeah," he nodded, "Sure. I'll call oncology." Carter backed soberly out of the room.
The room was dark when he opened his eyes. There were yellow lines framing the door and white lines framing the curtains. He realised someone was holding his hand and turned his head to the side. Susan was asleep in the chair by his bed, holding his hand and using her arm for a pillow.
He pried his hand from hers and stroked her hair.
She rubbed her face and looked up, catching his hand and kissing it. "Hey you."
He smiled at her adoringly and she lifted herself from the seat to kiss him.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. How are you?"
"Tired." She grinned, "I have to go soon." She found her watch and discovered the time: two pm. "Rachel finishes at three right?"
He nodded and followed her gaze to their intertwined fingers. There was an IV in his arm. No surprise there. He looked up at the bags hanging at his bedside. He couldn't read the labels without his glasses.
"I wish I could do this for you." She sighed, stroking the back of his hand, "I wish I could trade places and save you from all of this."
He smiled at her and shook his head, "It would hurt me more to watch you go through this."
"So maybe I'm just being selfish." She leant on his bedside, "I love you so…" she shook her head, willing the tears to disappear, "so much."
He lifted himself up to kiss her.
She was drawn in but forced herself to pull back. She needed to talk to him and she didn't have long before she had to pick up Rachel. "Mark," she hesitated then smiled slightly at the thought of what she was about to reveal, "I'm pregnant."
His eyes opened and a grin soon spread itself across his face. "You sure?" he forced his voice not to give away his excitement.
She nodded, "Six weeks."
"Susan!" he found some strength and sat up, pulling her into an excited embrace. "Oh my…" he seemed to lose his breath, pulling out of the embrace to see her face. She was smiling now, tears freely rolling down her face.
"That's why I was trying to get hold of you yesterday."
He kissed her again. And he didn't let her back out.
She got up on the bed beside him, suddenly desperate to be near him.
They stopped, half undressed, facing each other on the tiny bed. "We should have done this before." He kissed her again.
"We have been… for a while."
"But not here."
"Yeah, well exam three is so high school." She grinned cheekily. He kissed her again trying to shut her up, "The men's restroom on the other hand." He stopped her before she could say anything more.
Rachel spotted her dad's car coming up the road toward school. She pulled her satchel up onto her shoulder. "See you guys later." She turned to her friends as she walked away.
One of the guys jogged after her, "You gonna be okay?"
She stopped walking and nodded, albeit a little sadly.
He cupped her cheek in one hand and kissed her lightly, "I'm here if you need me."
She just nodded and backed away.
"Sorry I'm late," Susan hit the indicator as Rachel got in.
"It's okay. Dad's always bang on time and but I don't mind."
Susan pulled out from the curb, "Yeah, I lost track of time." She almost laughed to herself… excuses, excuses… Oh, don't think about it, you'll go beetroot red and invoke suspicion.
"How's he doing?"
"He's okay, he's woken up a bit."
"So he's staying at the hospital?"
"Um…" Susan sighed, "he was going to go in just a few days anyway. Chemotherapy is really intense and at a certain point people generally stay in hospital."
"Oh." Rachel tried to reciprocate Susan's reassuring smile.
"He'll come home for a couple of days occasionally, if he's up to it."
No response.
"So, how was school?"
Rachel smiled, eyebrows raised teasingly, "You practising for when you become my wicked stepmother?"
Susan grinned, "Actually I was just trying to talk about something less morbid."
"And you picked school?"
"Okay, fair enough. What about that guy?"
"Which guy?" She almost sounded as innocent and ignorant as she was aiming for.
"The one who kissed you just a few meters from the car – hardly subtle?"
"Oh, Andy?"
"So that's Andy?" She nodded in appraisal. "You like him?"
"Sure." Rachel was hardly forthcoming but Susan just waited for her to speak, easily distracted by neurotic traffic. "He's pretty cool. Not a total moron like most guys."
"That's a start."
"Yeah. I guess they're all hopeless at some level."
"Who isn't? But don't worry, about half of them grow up. The other half get married two years out of high school before their equally moronic girlfriends realise they're morons."
Rachel laughed.
"You laugh now, but consider yourself warned."
"You look pretty happy." Rachel pointed out.
Susan wasn't expecting that. "Well – yeah. I am. But… well I've been through a few morons and a few more decent guys, which can be worse. Plus, I pined after this one for five years so I can't take him for granted and sabotage it that way."
Rachel smiled at her: ranting but clearly ecstatic, which stood out like a sore thumb under the circumstances.
Susan let herself collapse on the couch as soon as she got inside.
"You okay?" Rachel followed her into the lounge after she'd shut and locked the front door.
"Yeah, just exhausted."
Rachel pottered around, getting into her pyjamas, downing a glass of milk, half a cheese sandwich, the rest of which took up permanent residence on the coffee table…
"You're going to sleep there aren't you?" she sat down by Susan's feet.
"Oh, probably. But I'll regret it in the morning."
"You working?"
Susan nodded and lifted her upper body as though she'd get up but she fell back into the cushions dramatically groaning. "Seven o'clock."
Rachel took her hand, "Come on." She pulled her up and dragged her playfully to her bed.
Susan pulled up the covers, her head sinking into the pillow.
"You sure you're okay?" Rachel sat on the mattress beside her. "Are you worried about Dad?"
Susan smiled and took a deep breath. "Yeah, but above and beyond all that it's been a very eventful couple of days."
"You mean, with Dad fainting and stuff."
"Yeah, and, oh, just decisions and revelations – like it was his last day at work – only he didn't really tell anyone, and he only decided to keep going with chemo a couple of days ago… all this waiting and not knowing what's going to happen – or knowing and hoping you're wrong… it's exhausting."
"I don't really understand it so… but why wouldn't he keep going with the chemo?"
"It's not really a cure – I mean at this stage. A lot of people prefer not to stay in hospital till they die – they travel or jump out of airplanes, or… do all sorts of crazy last minute things they've always wanted to do."
"Oh." She thought for a bit, lying down beside Susan, "Maybe, if he's going to die, it would be better not to be in hospital."
Susan nodded, "But he knows what he's in for. He didn't decide this lightly." She took a deep breath, "And even if it only postpones death I think he wants to be around because…" Just say it, Mark wants her to know, just say it, "I'm pregnant."
Rachel sat up a bit, "Really?"
"Yeah, I found out yesterday."
Rachel took a moment to take it in, a smile spreading over her face, "Oh my gosh."
"Yeah." Susan almost laughed, "You're gonna have a little sibling to look after and pick on."
"That's so cool." She laughed, "I guess that's why you're so tired."
Susan let her eyes fall shut, a smile on her face, fading into exhaustion. "You can sleep in here if you like, keep me company."