The Unholy Trinity
NOTE: This story revolves around "shock sites'', and contains a heavy amount of words that go over a lot of peoples' heads, plus some scatological stuff. All non-original characters and settings are the property of their respective owners.
Saturday was a very special day to Lizzie McGuire. When it came around, she grabbed some money from her brother's piggy bank and waited for her friends Gordo and Miranda to come to her house. Once the other two arrived, Lizzie joined them in a walk to the Digital Bean, a cyber-cafe on Highway 51, in the same building as a tanning salon and several upstairs apartments.
In the Digital Bean, Lizzie would buy the most expensive coffee the place offered, at a cost of $12.95 for six ounces of some heavily processed super-caffeinated stuff that came from the rarest coffee beans in the world. And then she would log into her webmail account, wade through the 1337-speak ads for "herbal Viagra'' and "Fast Money Now'', and read all the forwards her friends sent her.
Once the potent coffee mix kicked in, Lizzie would order the biggest breakfast platter the place offered, at a cost of $8.95 for a mountain of eggs, sausage, bacon, and pancakes, among other things. And then she would watch some music videos online and perhaps download some songs to her "rubber ducky'' thumb drive.
This continued until 6:30, when the Bean closed for the day, with Lizzie ordering a huge lunch and several snacks while she downloaded music and warez and caroused with her buddies. After the Bean closed, the three friends would leave for home, full, satisfied, and usually with a few extra songs for their gigantic MP3 collections.
At home, Lizzie would upload her new songs and warez to her OS 9 iMac POS, take her most prized possession - an 8x10 picture of Gordo - out of her desk drawer, and get on her bed to pleasure herself to the photo. As this happened, Gordo would play a heavily modified version of Quake II, in which all the enemies' heads were replaced by Lizzie's.
But one Saturday, something happened that changed everything...