"You got everything?" Susan ducked her head into the bedroom. She was trying to rush around, keep busy, push the leaving-for-work routine into a short space of time leaving no room to think about Mark's return to hospital. Real good start to what was bound to be a fantastic day.

He was straightening the bed covers. He smiled at her and sat down.

She smiled and went to sit beside him, rubbing her hand on his back. "You okay?"

He nodded and looked at her.

"At least you know what you're in for this time." She smiled wryly, knowing what little difference and comfort that was.

"Actually I'm not so fussed about going back to hospital. I just don't want the honeymoon to be over."

She grinned and kissed him. "It's not."

He let his eyes linger on her face, a contented smile playing on his lips. "God, you're beautiful."

She cupped his cheek in one hand and pulled him into an embrace before he could see the sorrow seeping into her eyes. "I love you."

He held her tight. "Thank you."

"Come on." She pulled back and picked up his bag.

He followed her out. "So what time are you off tonight?"

"Ten o'clock." She put down his bag by the door and slipped her arms into a dark grey woollen coat. "I'll sneak past the nurses and visit." She grinned as he opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

"Good." He took a deep breath. Back to seeing her between shifts and during slow ones… waking to find her hunched over the edge of his bed in such a way it was remarkable she slept all – let alone was able to walk afterwards…

Three nights of falling asleep so close to her he wasn't sure if he'd keep breathing when she moved. Three mornings of waking up to her adoring eyes… healing hands… that brilliant smile…

For three days he hadn't felt like he was dying.

"He seemed okay tonight." Rachel leant back in the passenger seat.

"Yeah." Susan started the engine and backed out of the parking space, refusing to make eye contact. It had only been three days but it felt like that's how it should be forever. Bliss could have been normality. But instead, this was normal – a weekend out of the hospital was something to look forward to but he still had to go back in. She'd walked him up to oncology and left a doctor in the waiting room. When she found Rachel at his bedside the doctor was a patient, his eyes heavy, appreciating every moment like he could count how many he had left on one hand. His eyes gave him away. He was wondering if he could make up for all the years of absence and distance – he was wondering if he'd have time. He was looking at his teenage daughter, remembering the little girl she had been and wishing he could see the woman she would become, wishing so hard he daren't speak, that he could see her next birthday, Christmas, graduation… her wedding… when she had children of her own…

"Are you okay?" Rachel turned off the radio when no station satisfied, calling Susan back to the present.

"Ah, yeah." She took a deep breath and looked back at the road.

"It's good right? That he could go home for a bit – I mean that's a good sign right?"

Susan looked at her and nodded with a smile of more confidence than she contained.

"So when can he come home again?"

Susan swallowed – she wasn't coping with this. "Um, they'll do heaps of tests at the end of this week and then we'll know what to expect – as much as ever."

Rachel could hear the tears in the back of her throat. She turned to Susan and put a concerned hand on her arm.

"I'm okay, I'm just… pregnancy hormones." She tried to laugh at herself.

Rachel smiled. "Can you feel it yet?"

"Thebaby? I think so, but I may just be imagining it."

"I think he'll be okay." Rachel sat back solemnly.

Susan focussed on the road, wishing she could be so sure.